“Naturalindolence,youmean。It’sreallydreadful!“
AndAmylookedsevere。
“Notsobadasitseems,forIshouldonlyplaguehimifI
went,soImightaswellstayandplagueyoualittlelonger,youcanbearitbetter,infactIthinkitagreeswithyouexcellently。“
AndLauriecomposedhimselfforaloungeonthebroadledgeofthebalustrade。
Amyshookherheadandopenedhersketchbookwithanairofresignation,butshehadmadeuphermindtolecture`thatboy’andinaminuteshebeganagain。
“Whatareyoudoingjustnow?“
“Watchinglizards。“
“No,no。Imeanwhatdoyouintendandwishtodo?“
“Smokeacigarette,ifyou’llallowme。“
“Howprovokingyouare!Idon’tapproveofcigarsandIwillonlyallowitonconditionthatyouletmeputyouintomysketch。Ineedafigure。“
“Withallthepleasureinlife。Howwillyouhaveme,fulllengthorthree-quarters,onmyheadormyheels?Ishouldrespectfullysuggestarecumbentposture,thenputyourselfinalsoandcallit`Dolcefarniente’。“
“Stayasyouare,andgotosleepifyoulike。Iintendtoworkhard,“saidAmyinhermostenergetictone。
“Whatdelightfulenthusiasm!“Andheleanedagainstatallurnwithanirofentiresatisfaction。
“WhatwouldJosayifshesawyounow?“askedAmyimpatiently,hopingtostirhimupbythementionofherstillmoreenergeticsister’sname。
“Asusual,`Goaway,Teddy。I’mbusy!’“Helaughedashespoke,butthelaughwasnotnatural,andashadepassedoverhisface,fortheutteranceofthefamiliarnametouchedthewoundthatwasnothealedyet。BothtoneandshadowstruckAmy,forshehadseenandheardthembefore,andnowshelookedupintimetocatchanewexpressiononLaurie’sface——ahardbitterlook,fullofpain,dissatisfaction,andregret。Itwasgonebeforeshecouldstudyitandthelistlessexpressionbackagain。
Shewatchedhimforamomentwithartisticpleasure,thinkinghowlikeanItalianhelooked,ashelaybaskinginthesunwithuncoveredheadandeyesfullofsoutherndreaminess,forheseemedtohaveforgottenherandfallenintoareverie。
“Youlookliketheeffigyofayoungknightasleeponhistomb,“shesaid,carefullytracingthewell-cutprofiledefinedagainstthedarkstone。
“WishIwas!“
“That’safoolishwish,unlessyouhavespoiledyourlife。
Youaresochanged,Isometimesthink——“ThereAmystopped,withahalf-timid,half-wistfullook,moresignificantthanherunfinishedspeech。
Lauriesawandunderstoodtheaffectionateanxietywhichshehesitatedtoexpress,andlookingstraightintohereyes,said,justasheusedtosayittohermother,“It’sallright,ma’am。“
Thatsatisfiedherandsetatrestthedoubtsthathadbeguntoworryherlately。Italsotouchedher,andsheshowedthatitdid,bythecordialtoneinwhichshesaid……
“I’mgladofthat!Ididn’tthinkyou’dbeenaverybadboy,butIfanciedyoumighthavewastedmoneyatthatwickedBaden-Baden,lostyourhearttosomecharmingFrenchwomanwithahusband,orgotintosomeofthescrapesthatyoungmenseemtoconsideranecessarypartofaforeigntour。Don’tstayoutthereinthesun,comeandlieonthegrasshereand`letusbefriendly’,asJousedtosaywhenwegotinthesofacornerandtoldsecrets。“
Laurieobedientlythrewhimselfdownontheturf,andbegantoamusehimselfbystickingdaisiesintotheribbonsofAmy’shat,thatlaythere。
“I’mallreadyforthesecrets。“Andheglancedupwithadecidedexpressionofinterestinhiseyes。
“I’venonetotell。Youmaybegin。“
“Haven’tonetoblessmyselfwith。Ithoughtperhapsyou’dhadsomenewsfromhome……“
“Youhaveheardallthathascomelately。Don’tyouhearoften?IfanciedJowouldsendyouvolumes。“
“She’sverybusy。I’mrovingaboutso,it’simpossibletoberegular,youknow。Whendoyoubeginyourgreatworkofart,Raphaella?’heasked。changingthesubjectabruptlyafteranotherpause,inwhichhehadbeenwonderingifAmyknewhissecretandwantedtotalkaboutit。
“Never,“sheanswered,withadespondentbutdecidedair。
“Rometookallthevanityoutofme,forafterseeingthewondersthere,Ifelttooinsignificanttoliveandgaveupallmyfoolishhopesindespair。“
“Whyshouldyou,withsomuchenergyandtalent?“
“That’sjustwhy,becausetalentisn’tgenius,andnoamountofenergycanmakeitso。Iwanttobegreat,ornothing。
Iwon’tbeacommon-placedauber,soIdon’tintendtotryanymore。“
“Andwhatareyougoingtodowithyourselfnow,ifImayask?“
“Polishupmyothertalents,andbeanornamenttosociety,ifIgetthechance。“
Itwasacharacteristicspeech,andsoundeddaring,butaudacitybecomesyoungpeople,andAmy’sambitionhadagoodfoundation。Lauriesmiled,buthelikedthespiritwithwhichshetookupanewpurposewhenalong-cherishedonedied,andspentnotimelamenting。
“Good!AndhereiswhereFredVaughncomesin,Ifancy。“
Amypreservedadiscreetsilence,buttherewasaconsciouslookinherdowncastfacethatmadeLauriesitupandsaygravely,“NowI’mgoingtoplaybrother,andaskquestions。MayI?“
“Idon’tpromisetoanswer。“
“Yourfacewill,ifyourtonguewon’t。Youaren’twomanoftheworldenoughyettohideyourfeelings,mydear。IheardrumorsaboutFredandyoulastyear,andit’smyprivateopinionthatifhehadnotbeencalledhomesosuddenlyanddetainedsolong,somethingwouldhavecomeofit,hey?“
“That’snotformetosay,“wasAmy’sgrimreply,butherlipswouldsmile,andtherewasatraitoroussparkleoftheeyewhichbetrayedthatsheknewherpowerandenjoyedtheknowledge。
“Youarenotengaged,Ihope?“AndLaurielookedveryelder-brotherlyandgraveallofasudden。
“No。“
“Butyouwillbe,ifhecomesbackandgoesproperlydownonhisknees,won’tyou?“
“Verylikely。“
“ThenyouarefondofoldFred?“
“Icouldbe,ifItried。“
“Butyoudon’tintendtotrytillthepropermoment?Blessmysoul,whatunearthlyprudence!He’sagoodfellow,Amy,butnotthemanIfanciedyou’dlike。“
“Heisrich,agentleman,andhasdelightfulmanners,“
beganAmy,tryingtobequitecoolanddignified,butfeelingalittleashamedofherself,inspiteofthesincerityofherintentions。
“Iunderstand。Queensofsocietycan’tgetonwithoutmoney,soyoumeantomakeagoodmatch,andstartinthatway?Quiterightandproper,astheworldgoes,butitsoundsoddfromthelipsofoneofyourmother’sgirls。“
“True,nevertheless。“
Ashortspeech,butthequietdecisionwithwhichitwasutteredcontrastedcuriouslywiththeyoungspeaker。Lauriefeltthisinstinctivelyandlaidhimselfdownagain,withasenseofdisappointmentwhichhecouldnotexplain。Hislookandsilence,aswellasacertaininwardself-disapproval,ruffledAmy,andmadeherresolvetodeliverherlecturewithoutdelay。
“Iwishyou’ddomethefavortorouseyourselfalittle,“
shesaidsharply。
“Doitforme,there’sadeargirl。“
“Icould,ifItried。“Andshelookedasifshewouldlikedoingitinthemostsummarystyle。
“Try,then。Igiveyouleave,“returnedLaurie,whoenjoyedhavingsomeonetotease,afterhislongabstinencefromhisfavoritepastime。
“You’dbeangryinfiveminutes。“
“I’mneverangrywithyou。Ittakestwoflintstomakeafire。
Youareascoolandsoftassnow。“
“Youdon’tknowwhatIcando。Snowproducesaglowandatingle,ifappliedrightly。Yourindifferenceishalfaffectation,andagoodstirringupwouldproveit。“
“Stiraway,itwon’thurtmeanditmayamuseyou,asthebigmansaidwhenhislittlewifebeathim。Regardmeinthelightofahusbandoracarpet,andbeattillyouaretired,ifthatsortofexerciseagreeswithyou。“
Beingdecidedlynettledherself,andlongingtoseehimshakeofftheapathythatsoalteredhim,Amysharpenedbothtongueandpencil,andbegan。
“FloandIhavegotanewnameforyou。It’sLazyLaurence。
Howdoyoulikeit?“
Shethoughtitwouldannoyhim,butheonlyfoldedhisarmsunderhishead,withanimperturbable,“That’snotbad。
Thankyou,ladies。“
“DoyouwanttoknowwhatIhonestlythinkofyou?“
“Piningtobetold。“
“Well,Idespiseyou。“
Ifshehadevensaid`Ihateyou’inapetulantorcoquettishtone,hewouldhavelaughedandratherlikedit,butthegrave,almostsad,accentinhervoicemadehimopenhiseyes,andaskquickly……
“Why,ifyouplease?“
“Because,witheverychanceforbeinggood,useful,andhappy,youarefaulty,lazy,andmiserable。“
“Stronglanguage,mademoiselle。“
“Ifyoulikeit,I’llgoon。“
“Praydo,it’squiteinteresting。“
“Ithoughtyou’dfinditso。Selfishpeoplealwaysliketotalkaboutthemselves。“
“AmIselfish?“Thequestionslippedoutinvoluntarilyandinatoneofsurprise,fortheonevirtueonwhichhepridedhimselfwasgenerosity。
“Yes,veryselfish,“continuedAmy,inacalm,coolvoice,twiceaseffectivejustthenasanangryone。“I’llshowyouhow,forI’vestudiedyouwhilewewerefrolicking,andI’mnotatallsatisfiedwithyou。Hereyouhavebeenabroadnearlysixmonths,anddonenothingbutwastetimeandmoneyanddisappointyourfriends。“
“Isn’tafellowtohaveanypleasureafterafour-yeargrind?“
“Youdon’tlookasifyou’dhadmuch。Atanyrate,youarenonethebetterforit,asfarasIcansee。Isaidwhenwefirstmetthatyouhadimproved。NowItakeitallback,forI
don’tthinkyouhalfsoniceaswhenIleftyouathome。Youhavegrownabominablylazy,youlikegossip,andwastetimeonfrivolousthings,youarecontentedtobepettedandadmiredbysillypeople,insteadofbeinglovedandrespectedbywiseones。Withmoney,talent,position,health,andbeauty,ahyoulikethatoldVanity!Butit’sthetruth,soIcan’thelpsayingit,withallthesesplendidthingstouseandenjoy,youcanfindnothingtodobutdawdle,andinsteadofbeingthemanyououghttobe,youareonly……“Thereshestopped,withalookthathadbothpainandpityinit。
“SaintLaurenceonagridiron,“addedLaurie,blandlyfinishingthesentence。Butthelecturebegantotakeeffect,fortherewasawide-awakesparkleinhiseyesnowandahalf-angry,half-injuredexpressionreplacedtheformerindifference。
“Isupposedyou’dtakeitso。Youmentellusweareangels,andsaywecanmakeyouwhatwewill,buttheinstantwehonestlytrytodoyougood,youlaughatusandwon’tlisten,whichproveshowmuchyourflatteryisworth。“Amyspokebitterly,andturnedherbackontheexasperatingmartyratherfeet。
Inaminuteahandcamedownoverthepage,sothatshecouldnotdraw,andLaurie’svoicesaid,withadrollimitationofapenitentchild,“Iwillbegood,oh,Iwillbegood!“
ButAmydidnotlaugh,forshewasinearnest,andtappingontheoutspreadhandwithherpencil,saidsoberly,“Aren’tyouashamedofahandlikethat?It’sassoftandwhiteasawoman’s,andlooksasifitneverdidanythingbutwearJouvin’sbestglovesandpickflowersforladies。Youarenotadandy,thankHeaven,soI’mgladtoseetherearenodiamondsorbigsealringsonit,onlythelittleoldoneJogaveyousolongago。Dearsoul,Iwishshewasheretohelpme!“
“SodoI!“
Thehandvanishedassuddenlyasitcame,andtherewasenergyenoughintheechoofherwishtosuitevenAmy。Sheglanceddownathimwithanewthoughtinhermind,buthewaslyingwithhishathalfoverhisface,asifforshade,andhismustachehidhismouth。Sheonlysawhischestriseandfall,withalongbreaththatmighthavebeenasigh,andthehandthatworetheringnestleddownintothegrass,asiftohidesomethingtoopreciousortootendertobespokenof。
AllinaminutevarioushintsandtriflesassumedshapeandsignificanceinAmy’smind,andtoldherwhathersisterneverhadconfidedtoher。SherememberedthatLaurieneverspokevoluntarilyofJo,sherecalledtheshadowonhisfacejustnow,thechangeinhischaracter,andthewearingofthelittleoldringwhichwasnoornamenttoahandsomehand。Girlsarequicktoreadsuchsignsandfeeltheireloquence。Amyhadfanciedthatperhapsalovetroublewasatthebottomofthealteration,andnowshewassureofit。Herkeeneyesfilled,andwhenshespokeagain,itwasinavoicethatcouldbebeautifullysoftandkindwhenshechosetomakeitso。
“IknowIhavenorighttotalksotoyou,Laurie,andifyouweren’tthesweetest-temperedfellowintheworld,you’dbeveryangrywithme。Butweareallsofondandproudofyou,Icouldn’tbeartothinktheyshouldbedisappointedinyouathomeasIhavebeen,though,perhapstheywouldunderstandthechangebetterthanIdo。“
“Ithinktheywould,“camefromunderthehat,inagrimtone,quiteastouchingasabrokenone。
“Theyoughttohavetoldme,andnotletmegoblunderingandscolding,whenIshouldhavebeenmorekindandpatientthanever。IneverdidlikethatMissRandalandnowIhateher!“saidartfulAmy,wishingtobesureofherfactsthistime。
“HangMissRandal!“AndLaurieknockedthehatoffhisfacewithalookthatleftnodoubtofhissentimentstowardthatyounglady。
“Ibegpardon,Ithought……“Andthereshepauseddiplomatically。
“No,youdidn’t,youknewperfectlywellInevercaredforanyonebutJo,“Lauriesaidthatinhisold,impetuoustone,andturnedhisfaceawayashespoke。
“Ididthinkso,butastheyneversaidanythingaboutit,andyoucameaway,IsupposedIwasmistaken。AndJowouldn’tbekindtoyou?Why,Iwassureshelovedyoudearly。“
“Shewaskind,butnotintherightway,andit’sluckyforhershedidn’tloveme,ifI’mthegood-for-nothingfellowyouthinkme。It’sherfaultthough,andyoumaytellherso。“
Thehard,bitterlookcamebackagainashesaidthat,andittroubledAmy,forshedidnotknowwhatbalmtoapply。
“Iwaswrong,Ididn’tknow。I’mverysorryIwassocross,butIcan’thelpwishingyou’dbearitbetter,Teddy,dear。“
“Don’t,that’shernameforme!“AndLaurieputuphishandwithaquickgesturetostopthewordsspokeninJo’shalf-kind,half-reproachfultone。“Waittillyou’vetriedityourself,“headdedinalowvoice,ashepulledupthegrassbythehandful。
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