首页 >出版文学> LITTLE DORRIT>第73章

第73章

  ’Whatdoyoucallyourself?’wasthesurlydemandofthatgentleman。’Youhavetheheadoftwomen。’
  ’Mysexdisqualifiesme,’sheproceededwithmerelyaslightturnofhereyesinjeremiah’sdirection,’fromtakingaresponsiblepartinthebusiness,evenifIhadtheability;andthereforeMrFlintwinchcombinesmyinterestwithhisown,andconductsit。Itisnotwhatitusedtobe;butsomeofouroldfriendsprincipallythewritersofthisletterhavethekindnessnottoforgetus,andweretainthepowerofdoingwhattheyentrusttousasefficientlyasweeverdid。Thishoweverisnotinterestingtoyou。YouareEnglish,sir?’
  ’Faith,madam,no;IamneitherbornnorbredinEngland。Ineffect,Iamofnocountry,’saidMrBlandois,stretchingouthislegandsmitingit:’Idescendfromhalf-a-dozencountries。’
  ’Youhavebeenmuchabouttheworld?’
  ’Itistrue。ByHeaven,madam,Ihavebeenhereandthereandeverywhere!’
  ’Youhavenoties,probably。Arenotmarried?’
  ’Madam,’saidMrBlandois,withanuglyfallofhiseyebrows,’I
  adoreyoursex,butIamnotmarried——neverwas。’
  MistressAffery,whostoodatthetablenearhim,pouringoutthetea,happenedinherdreamystatetolookathimashesaidthesewords,andtofancythatshecaughtanexpressioninhiseyeswhichattractedherowneyessothatshecouldnotgetthemaway。Theeffectofthisfancywastokeepherstaringathimwiththetea-
  potinherhand,notonlytoherowngreatuneasiness,butmanifestlytohis,too;and,throughthemboth,toMrsClennam’sandMrFlintwinch’s。Thusafewghostlymomentssupervened,whentheywereallconfusedlystaringwithoutknowingwhy。
  ’Affery,’hermistresswasthefirsttosay,’whatisthematterwithyou?’
  ’Idon’tknow,’saidMistressAffery,withherdisengagedlefthandextendedtowardsthevisitor。’Itain’tme。It’shim!’
  ’Whatdoesthisgoodwomanmean?’criedMrBlandois,turningwhite,hot,andslowlyrisingwithalookofsuchdeadlywraththatitcontrastedsurprisinglywiththeslightforceofhiswords。’Howisitpossibletounderstandthisgoodcreature?’
  ’It’sNOTpossible,’saidMrFlintwinch,screwinghimselfrapidlyinthatdirection。’Shedon’tknowwhatshemeans。She’sanidiot,awandererinhermind。Sheshallhaveadose,sheshallhavesuchadose!Getalongwithyou,mywoman,’headdedinherear,’getalongwithyou,whileyouknowyou’reAffery,andbeforeyou’reshakentoyeast。’
  MistressAffery,sensibleofthedangerinwhichheridentitystood,relinquishedthetea-potasherhusbandseizedit,putherapronoverherhead,andinatwinklingvanished。Thevisitorgraduallybrokeintoasmile,andsatdownagain。
  ’You’llexcuseher,MrBlandois,’saidJeremiah,pouringouttheteahimself,’she’sfailingandbreakingup;that’swhatshe’sabout。Doyoutakesugar,sir?’
  ’Thankyou,noteaforme——Pardonmyobservingit,butthat’saveryremarkablewatch!’
  Thetea-tablewasdrawnupnearthesofa,withasmallintervalbetweenitandMrsClennam’sownparticulartable。MrBlandoisinhisgallantryhadrisentohandthatladyherteaherdishoftoastwasalreadythere,anditwasinplacingthecupconvenientlywithinherreachthatthewatch,lyingbeforeherasitalwaysdid,attractedhisattention。MrsClennamlookedsuddenlyupathim。
  ’MayIbepermitted?Thankyou。Afineold-fashionedwatch,’hesaid,takingitinhishand。’Heavyforuse,butmassiveandgenuine。Ihaveapartialityforeverythinggenuine。SuchasI
  am,Iamgenuinemyself。Hah!Agentleman’swatchwithtwocasesintheoldfashion。MayIremoveitfromtheoutercase?Thankyou。Aye?Anoldsilkwatch-lining,workedwithbeads!IhaveoftenseentheseamongoldDutchpeopleandBelgians。Quaintthings!’
  ’Theyareold-fashioned,too,’saidMrsClennam。
  ’Very。Butthisisnotsooldasthewatch,Ithink?’
  ’Ithinknot。’
  ’Extraordinaryhowtheyusedtocomplicatethesecyphers!’remarkedMrBlandois,glancingupwithhisownsmileagain。’NowisthisD。
  N。F。?Itmightbealmostanything。’
  ’Thosearetheletters。’
  MrFlintwinch,whohadbeenobservantlypausingallthistimewithacupofteainhishand,andhismouthopenreadytoswallowthecontents,begantodoso:alwaysentirelyfillinghismouthbeforeheemptieditatagulp;andalwaysdeliberatingagainbeforeherefilledit。
  ’D。N。F。wassometender,lovely,fascinatingfair-creature,I
  makenodoubt,’observedMrBlandois,ashesnappedonthecaseagain。’Iadorehermemoryontheassumption。Unfortunatelyformypeaceofmind,Iadorebuttooreadily。Itmaybeavice,itmaybeavirtue,butadorationoffemalebeautyandmeritconstitutesthreepartsofmycharacter,madam。’
  MrFlintwinchhadbythistimepouredhimselfoutanothercupoftea,whichhewasswallowingingulpsasbefore,withhiseyesdirectedtotheinvalid。
  ’Youmaybeheart-freehere,sir,’shereturnedtoMrBlandois。
  ’Thoselettersarenotintended,Ibelieve,fortheinitialsofanyname。’
  ’Ofamotto,perhaps,’saidMrBlandois,casually。
  ’Ofasentence。Theyhavealwaysstood,Ibelieve,forDoNotForget!’
  ’Andnaturally,’saidMrBlandois,replacingthewatchandsteppingbackwardtohisformerchair,’youdonotforget。’
  MrFlintwinch,finishinghistea,notonlytookalongergulpthanhehadtakenyet,butmadehissucceedingpauseundernewcircumstances:thatistosay,withhisheadthrownbackandhiscupheldstillathislips,whilehiseyeswerestilldirectedattheinvalid。Shehadthatforceofface,andthatconcentratedairofcollectingherfirmnessorobstinacy,whichrepresentedinhercasewhatwouldhavebeengestureandactioninanother,assherepliedwithherdeliberatestrengthofspeech:
  ’No,sir,Idonotforget。Toleadalifeasmonotonousasminehasbeenduringmanyyears,isnotthewaytoforget。Toleadalifeofself-correctionisnotthewaytoforget。Tobesensibleofhavingasweallhave,everyoneofus,allthechildrenofAdam!offencestoexpiateandpeacetomake,doesnotjustifythedesiretoforget。ThereforeIhavelongdismissedit,andI
  neitherforgetnorwishtoforget。’
  MrFlintwinch,whohadlatterlybeenshakingthesedimentatthebottomofhistea-cup,roundandround,heregulpeditdown,andputtingthecupinthetea-tray,asdonewith,turnedhiseyesuponMrBlandoisasiftoaskhimwhathethoughtofthat?
  ’Allexpressed,madam,’saidMrBlandois,withhissmoothestbowandhiswhitehandonhisbreast,’bytheword“naturally,“whichIamproudtohavehadsufficientapprehensionandappreciationbutwithoutappreciationIcouldnotbeBlandoistoemploy。’
  ’Pardonme,sir,’shereturned,’ifIdoubtthelikelihoodofagentlemanofpleasure,andchange,andpoliteness,accustomedtocourtandtobecourted——’
  ’Ohmadam!ByHeaven!’
  ’——IfIdoubtthelikelihoodofsuchacharacterquitecomprehendingwhatbelongstomineinmycircumstances。Nottoobtrudedoctrineuponyou,’shelookedattherigidpileofhardpalebooksbeforeher,’foryougoyourownway,andtheconsequencesareonyourownhead,Iwillsaythismuch:thatI
  shapemycoursebypilots,strictlybyprovedandtriedpilots,underwhomIcannotbeshipwrecked——cannotbe——andthatifIwereunmindfuloftheadmonitionconveyedinthosethreeletters,I
  shouldnotbehalfaschastenedasIam。’
  Itwascurioushowsheseizedtheoccasiontoarguewithsomeinvisibleopponent。Perhapswithherownbettersense,alwaysturninguponherselfandherowndeception。
  ’IfIforgotmyignorancesinmylifeofhealthandfreedom,I
  mightcomplainofthelifetowhichIamnowcondemned。Ineverdo;Ineverhavedone。IfIforgotthatthisscene,theEarth,isexpresslymeanttobeasceneofgloom,andhardship,anddarktrial,forthecreatureswhoaremadeoutofitsdust,Imighthavesometendernessforitsvanities。ButIhavenosuchtenderness。
  IfIdidnotknowthatweare,everyone,thesubjectmostjustlythesubjectofawraththatmustbesatisfied,andagainstwhichmereactionsarenothing,Imightrepineatthedifferencebetweenme,imprisonedhere,andthepeoplewhopassthatgatewayyonder。
  ButItakeitasagraceandfavourtobeelectedtomakethesatisfactionIammakinghere,toknowwhatIknowforcertainhere,andtoworkoutwhatIhaveworkedouthere。Myafflictionmightotherwisehavehadnomeaningtome。HenceIwouldforget,andIdoforget,nothing。HenceIamcontented,andsayitisbetterwithmethanwithmillions。’
  Asshespokethesewords,sheputherhanduponthewatch,andrestoredittotheprecisespotonherlittletablewhichitalwaysoccupied。Withhertouchlingeringuponit,shesatforsomemomentsafterwards,lookingatitsteadilyandhalf-defiantly。
  MrBlandois,duringthisexposition,hadbeenstrictlyattentive,keepinghiseyesfastenedonthelady,andthoughtfullystrokinghismoustachewithhistwohands。MrFlintwinchhadbeenalittlefidgety,andnowstruckin。
  ’There,there,there!’saidhe。’Thatisquiteunderstood,MrsClennam,andyouhavespokenpiouslyandwell。MrBlandois,I
  suspect,isnotofapiouscast。’
  ’Onthecontrary,sir!’thatgentlemanprotested,snappinghisfingers。’Yourpardon!It’sapartofmycharacter。Iamsensitive,ardent,conscientious,andimaginative。Asensitive,ardent,conscientious,andimaginativeman,MrFlintwinch,mustbethat,ornothing!’
  TherewasaninklingofsuspicioninMrFlintwinch’sfacethathemightbenothing,asheswaggeredoutofhischairitwascharacteristicofthisman,asitisofallmensimilarlymarked,thatwhateverhedid,heoverdid,thoughitweresometimesbyonlyahairsbreadth,andapproachedtotakehisleaveofMrsClennam。
  ’Withwhatwillappeartoyoutheegotismofasickoldwoman,sir,’shethensaid,’thoughreallythroughyouraccidentalallusion,Ihavebeenledawayintothesubjectofmyselfandmyinfirmities。Beingsoconsiderateastovisitme,Ihopeyouwillbelikewisesoconsiderateastooverlookthat。Don’tcomplimentme,ifyouplease。’Forhewasevidentlygoingtodoit。’MrFlintwinchwillbehappytorenderyouanyservice,andIhopeyourstayinthiscitymayproveagreeable。’
  MrBlandoisthankedher,andkissedhishandseveraltimes。’Thisisanoldroom,’heremarked,withasuddensprightlinessofmanner,lookingroundwhenhegotnearthedoor,’IhavebeensointerestedthatIhavenotobservedit。Butit’sagenuineoldroom。’
  ’Itisagenuineoldhouse,’saidMrsClennam,withherfrozensmile。’Aplaceofnopretensions,butapieceofantiquity。’
  ’Faith!’criedthevisitor。’IfMrFlintwinchwoulddomethefavourtotakemethroughtheroomsonmywayout,hecouldhardlyobligememore。Anoldhouseisaweaknesswithme。Ihavemanyweaknesses,butnonegreater。Iloveandstudythepicturesqueinallitsvarieties。Ihavebeencalledpicturesquemyself。Itisnomerittobepicturesque——Ihavegreatermerits,perhaps——butI