MrMerdle’sComplaintUponthatestablishmentofstate,theMerdleestablishmentinHarleyStreet,CavendishSquare,therewastheshadowofnomorecommonwallthanthefrontsofotherestablishmentsofstateontheoppositesideofthestreet。LikeunexceptionableSociety,theopposingrowsofhousesinHarleyStreetwereverygrimwithoneanother。Indeed,themansionsandtheirinhabitantsweresomuchalikeinthatrespect,thatthepeoplewereoftentobefounddrawnuponoppositesidesofdinner-tables,intheshadeoftheirownloftiness,staringattheothersideofthewaywiththedullnessofthehouses。
Everybodyknowshowlikethestreetthetwodinner-rowsofpeoplewhotaketheirstandbythestreetwillbe。Theexpressionlessuniformtwentyhouses,alltobeknockedatandrungatinthesameform,allapproachablebythesamedullsteps,allfendedoffbythesamepatternofrailing,allwiththesameimpracticablefire-
escapes,thesameinconvenientfixturesintheirheads,andeverythingwithoutexceptiontobetakenatahighvaluation——whohasnotdinedwiththese?Thehousesodrearilyoutofrepair,theoccasionalbow-window,thestuccoedhouse,thenewly-frontedhouse,thecornerhousewithnothingbutangularrooms,thehousewiththeblindsalwaysdown,thehousewiththehatchmentalwaysup,thehousewherethecollectorhascalledforonequarterofanIdea,andfoundnobodyathome——whohasnotdinedwiththese?Thehousethatnobodywilltake,andistobehadabargain——whodoesnotknowher?Theshowyhousethatwastakenforlifebythedisappointedgentleman,andwhichdoesnotsuithimatall——whoisunacquaintedwiththathauntedhabitation?
HarleyStreet,CavendishSquare,wasmorethanawareofMrandMrsMerdle。IntruderstherewereinHarleyStreet,ofwhomitwasnotaware;butMrandMrsMerdleitdelightedtohonour。SocietywasawareofMrandMrsMerdle。Societyhadsaid’Letuslicensethem;
letusknowthem。’
MrMerdlewasimmenselyrich;amanofprodigiousenterprise;aMidaswithouttheears,whoturnedallhetouchedtogold。Hewasineverythinggood,frombankingtobuilding。HewasinParliament,ofcourse。HewasintheCity,necessarily。HewasChairmanofthis,Trusteeofthat,Presidentoftheother。Theweightiestofmenhadsaidtoprojectors,’Now,whatnamehaveyougot?HaveyougotMerdle?’And,thereplybeinginthenegative,hadsaid,’ThenIwon’tlookatyou。’
Thisgreatandfortunatemanhadprovidedthatextensivebosomwhichrequiredsomuchroomtobeunfeelingenoughin,withanestofcrimsonandgoldsomefifteenyearsbefore。Itwasnotabosomtoreposeupon,butitwasacapitalbosomtohangjewelsupon。MrMerdlewantedsomethingtohangjewelsupon,andheboughtitforthepurpose。StorrandMortimermighthavemarriedonthesamespeculation。
Likeallhisotherspeculations,itwassoundandsuccessful。Thejewelsshowedtotherichestadvantage。ThebosommovinginSocietywiththejewelsdisplayeduponit,attractedgeneraladmiration。Societyapproving,MrMerdlewassatisfied。Hewasthemostdisinterestedofmen,——dideverythingforSociety,andgotaslittleforhimselfoutofallhisgainandcare,asamanmight。
Thatistosay,itmaybesupposedthathegotallhewanted,otherwisewithunlimitedwealthhewouldhavegotit。ButhisdesirewastotheutmosttosatisfySocietywhateverthatwas,andtakeupallitsdraftsuponhimfortribute。Hedidnotshineincompany;hehadnotverymuchtosayforhimself;hewasareservedman,withabroad,overhanging,watchfulhead,thatparticularkindofdullredcolourinhischeekswhichisratherstalethanfresh,andasomewhatuneasyexpressionabouthiscoat-
cuffs,asiftheywereinhisconfidence,andhadreasonsforbeinganxioustohidehishands。Inthelittlehesaid,hewasapleasantmanenough;plain,emphaticaboutpublicandprivateconfidence,andtenaciousoftheutmostdeferencebeingshownbyeveryone,inallthings,toSociety。InthissameSocietyifthatwereitwhichcametohisdinners,andtoMrsMerdle’sreceptionsandconcerts,hehardlyseemedtoenjoyhimselfmuch,andwasmostlytobefoundagainstwallsandbehinddoors。Alsowhenhewentouttoit,insteadofitscominghometohim,heseemedalittlefatigued,anduponthewholerathermoredisposedforbed;buthewasalwayscultivatingitnevertheless,andalwaysmovinginit——andalwayslayingoutmoneyonitwiththegreatestliberality。
MrsMerdle’sfirsthusbandhadbeenacolonel,underwhoseauspicesthebosomhadenteredintocompetitionwiththesnowsofNorthAmerica,andhadcomeoffatlittledisadvantageinpointofwhiteness,andatnoneinpointofcoldness。Thecolonel’ssonwasMrsMerdle’sonlychild。Hewasofachuckle-headed,high-
shoulderedmake,withageneralappearanceofbeing,notsomuchayoungmanasaswelledboy。Hehadgivensofewsignsofreason,thataby-wordwentamonghiscompanionsthathisbrainhadbeenfrozenupinamightyfrostwhichprevailedatStjohn’s,NewBrunswick,attheperiodofhisbirththere,andhadneverthawedfromthathour。Anotherby-wordrepresentedhimashavinginhisinfancy,throughthenegligenceofanurse,fallenoutofahighwindowonhishead,whichhadbeenheardbyresponsiblewitnessestocrack。Itisprobablethatboththeserepresentationswereofexpostfactoorigin;theyounggentlemanwhoseexpressivenamewasSparklerbeingmonomaniacalinofferingmarriagetoallmannerofundesirableyoungladies,andinremarkingofeverysuccessiveyoungladytowhomhetenderedamatrimonialproposalthatshewas’adoosedfinegal——welleducatedtoo——withnobiggoddnonsenseabouther。’
Ason-in-lawwiththeselimitedtalents,mighthavebeenacloguponanotherman;butMrMerdledidnotwantason-in-lawforhimself;hewantedason-in-lawforSociety。MrSparklerhavingbeenintheGuards,andbeinginthehabitoffrequentingalltheraces,andallthelounges,andalltheparties,andbeingwellknown,Societywassatisfiedwithitsson-in-law。ThishappyresultMrMerdlewouldhaveconsideredwellattained,thoughMrSparklerhadbeenamoreexpensivearticle。AndhedidnotgetMrSparklerbyanymeanscheapforSociety,evenasitwas。
TherewasadinnergivingintheHarleyStreetestablishment,whileLittleDorritwasstitchingatherfather’snewshirtsbyhissidethatnight;andthereweremagnatesfromtheCourtandmagnatesfromtheCity,magnatesfromtheCommonsandmagnatesfromtheLords,magnatesfromthebenchandmagnatesfromthebar,Bishopmagnates,Treasurymagnates,HorseGuardmagnates,Admiraltymagnates,——allthemagnatesthatkeepusgoing,andsometimestripusup。
’Iamtold,’saidBishopmagnatetoHorseGuards,’thatMrMerdlehasmadeanotherenormoushit。Theysayahundredthousandpounds。’
HorseGuardshadheardtwo。
Treasuryhadheardthree。
Bar,handlinghispersuasivedoubleeye-glass,wasbynomeansclearbutthatitmightbefour。Itwasoneofthosehappystrokesofcalculationandcombination,theresultofwhichitwasdifficulttoestimate。Itwasoneofthoseinstancesofacomprehensivegrasp,associatedwithhabitualluckandcharacteristicboldness,ofwhichanagepresentedusbutfew。ButherewasBrotherBellows,whohadbeeninthegreatBankcase,andwhocouldprobablytellusmore。WhatdidBrotherBellowsputthisnewsuccessat?
BrotherBellowswasonhiswaytomakehisbowtothebosom,andcouldonlytelltheminpassingthathehadhearditstated,withgreatappearanceoftruth,asbeingworth,fromfirsttolast,half-a-millionofmoney。
AdmiraltysaidMrMerdlewasawonderfulman,Treasurysaidhewasanewpowerinthecountry,andwouldbeabletobuyupthewholeHouseofCommons。BishopsaidhewasgladtothinkthatthiswealthflowedintothecoffersofagentlemanwhowasalwaysdisposedtomaintainthebestinterestsofSociety。
MrMerdlehimselfwasusuallylateontheseoccasions,asamanstilldetainedintheclutchofgiantenterpriseswhenothermenhadshakenofftheirdwarfsfortheday。Onthisoccasion,hewasthelastarrival。TreasurysaidMerdle’sworkpunishedhimalittle。Bishopsaidhewasgladtothinkthatthiswealthflowedintothecoffersofagentlemanwhoaccepteditwithmeekness。
Powder!TherewassomuchPowderinwaiting,thatitflavouredthedinner。Pulverousparticlesgotintothedishes,andSociety’smeatshadaseasoningoffirst-ratefootmen。MrMerdletookdownacountesswhowassecludedsomewhereinthecoreofanimmensedress,towhichshewasintheproportionofthehearttotheovergrowncabbage。Ifsolowasimilemaybeadmitted,thedresswentdownthestaircaselikearichlybrocadedJackintheGreen,andnobodyknewwhatsortofsmallpersoncarriedit。
Societyhadeverythingitcouldwant,andcouldnotwant,fordinner。Ithadeverythingtolookat,andeverythingtoeat,andeverythingtodrink。Itistobehopeditenjoyeditself;forMrMerdle’sownshareoftherepastmighthavebeenpaidforwitheighteenpence。MrsMerdlewasmagnificent。Thechiefbutlerwasthenextmagnificentinstitutionoftheday。Hewasthestateliestmaninthecompany。Hedidnothing,buthelookedonasfewothermencouldhavedone。HewasMrMerdle’slastgifttoSociety。MrMerdledidn’twanthim,andwasputoutofcountenancewhenthegreatcreaturelookedathim;butinappeasableSocietywouldhavehim——andhadgothim。
TheinvisiblecountesscarriedouttheGreenattheusualstageoftheentertainment,andthefileofbeautywasclosedupbythebosom。Treasurysaid,Juno。Bishopsaid,Judith。
BarfellintodiscussionwithHorseGuardsconcerningcourts-
martial。BrothersBellowsandBenchstruckin。Othermagnatespairedoff。MrMerdlesatsilent,andlookedatthetable-cloth。
Sometimesamagnateaddressedhim,toturnthestreamofhisownparticulardiscussiontowardshim;butMrMerdleseldomgavemuchattentiontoit,ordidmorethanrousehimselffromhiscalculationsandpassthewine。
Whentheyrose,somanyofthemagnateshadsomethingtosaytoMrMerdleindividuallythatheheldlittleleveesbythesideboard,andcheckedthemoffastheywentoutatthedoor。
TreasuryhopedhemightventuretocongratulateoneofEngland’sworld-famedcapitalistsandmerchant-princeshehadturnedthatoriginalsentimentinthehouseafewtimes,anditcameeasytohimonanewachievement。Toextendthetriumphsofsuchmenwastoextendthetriumphsandresourcesofthenation;andTreasuryfelt——hegaveMrMerdletounderstand——patrioticonthesubject。
’Thankyou,mylord,’saidMrMerdle;’thankyou。Iacceptyourcongratulationswithpride,andIamgladyouapprove。’
’Why,Idon’tunreservedlyapprove,mydearMrMerdle。Because,’
smilingTreasuryturnedhimbythearmtowardsthesideboardandspokebanteringly,’itnevercanbeworthyourwhiletocomeamongusandhelpus。’
MrMerdlefelthonouredbythe——
’No,no,’saidTreasury,’thatisnotthelightinwhichonesodistinguishedforpracticalknowledgeandgreatforesight,canbeexpectedtoregardit。Ifweshouldeverbehappilyenabled,byaccidentallypossessingthecontrolovercircumstances,toproposetoonesoeminentto——tocomeamongus,andgiveustheweightofhisinfluence,knowledge,andcharacter,wecouldonlyproposeittohimasaduty。Infact,asadutythatheowedtoSociety。’
MrMerdleintimatedthatSocietywastheappleofhiseye,andthatitsclaimswereparamounttoeveryotherconsideration。Treasurymovedon,andBarcameup。
Bar,withhislittleinsinuatingjurydroop,andfingeringhispersuasivedoubleeye-glass,hopedhemightbeexcusedifhementionedtooneofthegreatestconvertersoftherootofallevilintotherootofallgood,whohadforalongtimereflectedashininglustreontheannalsevenofourcommercialcountry——ifhementioned,disinterestedly,andas,whatwelawyerscalledinourpedanticway,amicuscuriae,afactthathadcomebyaccidentwithinhisknowledge。Hehadbeenrequiredtolookoverthetitleofaveryconsiderableestateinoneoftheeasterncounties——
lying,infact,forMrMerdleknewwelawyerslovedtobeparticular,onthebordersoftwooftheeasterncounties。Now,thetitlewasperfectlysound,andtheestatewastobepurchasedbyonewhohadthecommandof——Moneyjurydroopandpersuasiveeye-glass,onremarkablyadvantageousterms。ThishadcometoBar’sknowledgeonlythatday,andithadoccurredtohim,’IshallhavethehonourofdiningwithmyesteemedfriendMrMerdlethisevening,and,strictlybetweenourselves,Iwillmentiontheopportunity。’Suchapurchasewouldinvolvenotonlyagreatlegitimatepoliticalinfluence,butsomehalf-dozenchurchpresentationsofconsiderableannualvalue。Now,thatMrMerdlewasalreadyatnolosstodiscovermeansofoccupyingevenhiscapital,andoffullyemployingevenhisactiveandvigorousintellect,Barwellknew:buthewouldventuretosuggestthatthequestionaroseinhismind,whetheronewhohaddeservedlygainedsohighapositionandsoEuropeanareputationdidnotoweit——wewouldnotsaytohimself,butwewouldsaytoSociety,topossesshimselfofsuchinfluencesasthese;andtoexercisethem——wewouldnotsayforhisown,orforhisparty’s,butwewouldsayforSociety’s——benefit。
MrMerdleagainexpressedhimselfaswhollydevotedtothatobjectofhisconstantconsideration,andBartookhispersuasiveeye-
glassupthegrandstaircase。Bishopthencameundesignedlysidlinginthedirectionofthesideboard。
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