首页 >出版文学> LITTLE DORRIT>第154章

第154章

  don’tcareforyourpresenteyes。Now,Iamcomingtothepaper,andmarkwhatIsay。Youputitawaysomewhere,andyoukeptyourowncounselwhere。You’reanactivewomanatthattime,andifyouwanttogetthatpaper,youcangetit。But,mark。Therecomesatimewhenyouarestruckintowhatyouarenow,andthenifyouwanttogetthatpaper,youcan’tgetit。Soitlies,longyears,initshiding-place。Atlast,whenweareexpectingArthurhomeeveryday,andwhenanydaymaybringhimhome,andit’simpossibletosaywhatrummaginghemaymakeaboutthehouse,Irecommendyoufivethousandtimes,ifyoucan’tgetatit,toletmegetatit,thatitmaybeputinthefire。Butno——noonebutyouknowswhereitis,andthat’spower;and,callyourselfwhateverhumblenamesyouwill,IcallyouafemaleLuciferinappetiteforpower!OnaSundaynight,Arthurcomeshome。Hehasnotbeeninthisroomtenminutes,whenhespeaksofhisfather’swatch。YouknowverywellthattheDoNotForget,atthetimewhenhisfathersentthatwatchtoyou,couldonlymean,therestofthestorybeingthenalldeadandover,DoNotForgetthesuppression。Makerestitution!
  Arthur’swayshavefrightenedyouabit,andthepapershallbeburntafterall。So,beforethatjumpingjadeandJezebel,’MrFlintwinchgrinnedathiswife,’hasgotyouintobed,youatlasttellmewhereyouhaveputthepaper,amongtheoldledgersinthecellars,whereArthurhimselfwentprowlingtheverynextmorning。
  Butit’snottobeburntonaSundaynight。No;youarestrict,youare;wemustwaitovertwelveo’clock,andgetintoMonday。
  Now,allthisisaswallowingofmeupalivethatraspsme;so,feelingalittleoutoftemper,andnotbeingasstrictasyourself,Itakealookatthedocumentbeforetwelveo’clocktorefreshmymemoryastoitsappearance——folduponeofthemanyyellowoldpapersinthecellarslikeit——andafterwards,whenwehavegotintoMondaymorning,andIhave,bythelightofyourlamp,towalkfromyou,lyingonthatbed,tothisgrate,makealittleexchangeliketheconjuror,andburnaccordingly。MybrotherEphraim,thelunatic-keeperIwishhehadhadhimselftokeepinastrait-waistcoat,hadhadmanyjobssincethecloseofthelongjobhegotfromyou,buthadnotdonewell。Hiswifediednotthatthatwasmuch;minemighthavediedinstead,andwelcome,hespeculatedunsuccessfullyinlunatics,hegotintodifficultyaboutover-roastingapatienttobringhimtoreason,andhegotintodebt。Hewasgoingoutoftheway,onwhathehadbeenabletoscrapeup,andatriflefromme。HewasherethatearlyMondaymorning,waitingforthetide;inshort,hewasgoingtoAntwerp,whereIamafraidyou’llbeshockedatmysaying,Andbedamnedtohim!hemadetheacquaintanceofthisgentleman。Hehadcomealongway,and,Ithoughtthen,wasonlysleepy;but,I
  supposenow,wasdrunk。WhenArthur’smotherhadbeenunderthecareofhimandhiswife,shehadbeenalwayswriting,incessantlywriting,——mostlylettersofconfessiontoyou,andPrayersforforgiveness。Mybrotherhadhanded,fromtimetotime,lotsofthesesheetstome。IthoughtImightaswellkeepthemtomyselfashavethemswallowedupalivetoo;soIkepttheminabox,lookingoverthemwhenIfeltinthehumour。Convincedthatitwasadvisabletogetthepaperoutoftheplace,withArthurcomingaboutit,Iputitintothissamebox,andIlockedthewholeupwithtwolocks,andItrustedittomybrothertotakeawayandkeep,tillIshouldwriteaboutit。Ididwriteaboutit,andnevergotananswer。Ididn’tknowwhattomakeofit,tillthisgentlemanfavoureduswithhisfirstvisit。Ofcourse,Ibegantosuspecthowitwas,then;andIdon’twanthiswordforitnowtounderstandhowhegetshisknowledgefrommypapers,andyourpaper,andmybrother’scognacandtobaccotalkIwishhe’dhadtogaghimself。Now,Ihaveonlyonethingmoretosay,youhammer-
  headedwoman,andthatis,thatIhaven’taltogethermadeupmymindwhetherImight,ormightnot,haveevergivenyouanytroubleaboutthecodicil。Ithinknot;andthatIshouldhavebeenquitesatisfiedwithknowingIhadgotthebetterofyou,andthatIheldthepoweroveryou。Inthepresentstateofcircumstances,Ihavenomoreexplanationtogiveyoutillthistimeto-morrownight。Soyoumayaswell,’saidMrFlintwinch,terminatinghisorationwithascrew,’keepyoureyesopenatsomebodyelse,forit’snousekeeping’emopenatme。’
  Sheslowlywithdrewthemwhenhehadceased,anddroppedherforeheadonherhand。Herotherhandpressedharduponthetable,andagainthecuriousstirwasobservableinher,asifsheweregoingtorise。
  ’Thisboxcanneverbring,elsewhere,thepriceitwillbringhere。
  Thisknowledgecanneverbeofthesameprofittoyou,soldtoanyotherperson,assoldtome。ButIhavenotthepresentmeansofraisingthesumyouhavedemanded。Ihavenotprospered。Whatwillyoutakenow,andwhatatanothertime,andhowamItobeassuredofyoursilence?’
  ’Myangel,’saidRigaud,’IhavesaidwhatIwilltake,andtimepresses。Beforecominghere,Iplacedcopiesofthemostimportantofthesepapersinanotherhand。PutoffthetimetilltheMarshalseagateshallbeshutforthenight,anditwillbetoolatetotreat。Theprisonerwillhavereadthem。’
  Sheputhertwohandstoherheadagain,utteredaloudexclamation,andstartedtoherfeet。Shestaggeredforamoment,asifshewouldhavefallen;thenstoodfirm。
  ’Saywhatyoumean。Saywhatyoumean,man!’
  Beforeherghostlyfigure,solongunusedtoitserectattitude,andsostiffenedinit,Rigaudfellbackanddroppedhisvoice。Itwas,toallthethree,almostasifadeadwomanhadrisen。
  ’MissDorrit,’answeredRigaud,’thelittlenieceofMonsieurFrederick,whomIhaveknownacrossthewater,isattachedtotheprisoner。MissDorrit,littlenieceofMonsieurFrederick,watchesatthismomentovertheprisoner,whoisill。ForherIwithmyownhandsleftapacketattheprison,onmywayhere,withaletterofinstructions,“FORHISSAKE“——shewilldoanythingforhissake——tokeepitwithoutbreakingtheseal,incaseofitsbeingreclaimedbeforethehourofshuttingupto-night——ifitshouldnotbereclaimedbeforetheringingoftheprisonbell,togiveittohim;anditenclosesasecondcopyforherself,whichhemustgivetoher。What!Idon’ttrustmyselfamongyou,nowwehavegotsofar,withoutgivingmysecretasecondlife。Andastoitsnotbringingme,elsewhere,thepriceitwillbringhere,saythen,madame,haveyoulimitedandsettledthepricethelittleniecewillgive——forhissake——tohushitup?OncemoreIsay,timepresses。Thepacketnotreclaimedbeforetheringingofthebellto-night,youcannotbuy。Isell,then,tothelittlegirl!’
  Oncemorethestirandstruggleinher,andsherantoacloset,torethedooropen,tookdownahoodorshawl,andwrappeditoverherhead。Affery,whohadwatchedherinterror,dartedtoherinthemiddleoftheroom,caughtholdofherdress,andwentonherkneestoher。
  ’Don’t,don’t,don’t!Whatareyoudoing?Whereareyougoing?
  You’reafearfulwoman,butIdon’tbearyounoill-will。IcandopoorArthurnogoodnow,thatIsee;andyouneedn’tbeafraidofme。I’llkeepyoursecret。Don’tgoout,you’llfalldeadinthestreet。Onlypromiseme,that,ifit’sthepoorthingthat’skeptheresecretly,you’llletmetakechargeofherandbehernurse。
  Onlypromisemethat,andneverbeafraidofme。’
  MrsClennamstoodstillforaninstant,attheheightofherrapidhaste,sayinginsternamazement:
  ’Kepthere?Shehasbeendeadascoreofyearsormore。AskFlintwinch——askHIM。TheycanbothtellyouthatshediedwhenArthurwentabroad。’
  ’Somuchtheworse,’saidAffery,withashiver,’forshehauntsthehouse,then。Whoelserustlesaboutit,makingsignalsbydroppingdustsosoftly?Whoelsecomesandgoes,andmarksthewallswithlongcrookedtoucheswhenwearealla-bed?Whoelseholdsthedoorsometimes?Butdon’tgoout——don’tgoout!
  Mistress,you’lldieinthestreet!’
  Hermistressonlydisengagedherdressfromthebeseechinghands,saidtoRigaud,’WaitheretillIcomeback!’andranoutoftheroom。Theysawher,fromthewindow,runwildlythroughthecourt-
  yardandoutatthegateway。
  Forafewmomentstheystoodmotionless。Afferywasthefirsttomove,andshe,wringingherhands,pursuedhermistress。Next,JeremiahFlintwinch,slowlybackingtothedoor,withonehandinapocket,andtheotherrubbinghischin,twistedhimselfoutinhisreticentway,speechlessly。Rigaud,leftalone,composedhimselfuponthewindow-seatoftheopenwindow,intheoldMarseilles-jailattitude。Helaidhiscigarettesandfire-boxreadytohishand,andfelltosmoking。
  ’Whoof!Almostasdullastheinfernaloldjail。Warmer,butalmostasdismal。Waittillshecomesback?Yes,certainly;butwhereisshegone,andhowlongwillshebegone?Nomatter!
  RigaudLagnierBlandois,myamiablesubject,youwillgetyourmoney。Youwillenrichyourself。Youhavelivedagentleman;youwilldieagentleman。Youtriumph,mylittleboy;butitisyourcharactertotriumph。Whoof!’
  Inthehourofhistriumph,hismoustachewentupandhisnosecamedown,asheogledagreatbeamoverhisheadwithparticularsatisfaction。
  CHAPTER31
  ClosedThesunhadset,andthestreetswerediminthedustytwilight,whenthefiguresolongunusedtothemhurriedonitsway。Intheimmediateneighbourhoodoftheoldhouseitattractedlittleattention,fortherewereonlyafewstragglingpeopletonoticeit;but,ascendingfromtheriverbythecrookedwaysthatledtoLondonBridge,andpassingintothegreatmainroad,itbecamesurroundedbyastonishment。
  Resoluteandwildoflook,rapidoffootandyetweakanduncertain,conspicuouslydressedinitsblackgarmentsandwithitshurriedhead-covering,gauntandofanunearthlypaleness,itpressedforward,takingnomoreheedofthethrongthanasleep-
  walker。Moreremarkablebybeingsoremovedfromthecrowditwasamongthanifithadbeenliftedonapedestaltobeseen,thefigureattractedalleyes。Saunterersprickeduptheirattentiontoobserveit;busypeople,crossingit,slackenedtheirpaceandturnedtheirheads;companionspausingandstandingaside,whisperedoneanothertolookatthisspectralwomanwhowascomingby;andthesweepofthefigureasitpassedseemedtocreateavortex,drawingthemostidleandmostcuriousafterit。
  Madegiddybytheturbulentirruptionofthismultitudeofstaringfacesintohercellofyears,bytheconfusingsensationofbeingintheair,andtheyetmoreconfusingsensationofbeingafoot,bytheunexpectedchangesinhalf-rememberedobjects,andthewantoflikenessbetweenthecontrollablepicturesherimaginationhadoftendrawnofthelifefromwhichshewassecludedandtheoverwhelmingrushofthereality,sheheldherwayasifshewereenvironedbydistractingthoughts,ratherthanbyexternalhumanityandobservation。But,havingcrossedthebridgeandgonesomedistancestraightonward,sherememberedthatshemustaskforadirection;anditwasonlythen,whenshestoppedandturnedtolookaboutherforapromisingplaceofinquiry,thatshefoundherselfsurroundedbyaneagerglareoffaces。
  ’Whyareyouencirclingme?’sheasked,trembling。
  Noneofthosewhowerenearestanswered;butfromtheouterringtherearoseashrillcryof’’Causeyou’remad!’
  ’Iamsureassaneasanyonehere。IwanttofindtheMarshalseaprison。’
  Theshrilloutercircleagainretorted,’Thenthat’udshowyouwasmadifnothingelsedid,’causeit’srightopposite!’
  Ashort,mild,quiet-lookingyoungmanmadehiswaythroughtoher,asawhoopingensuedonthisreply,andsaid:’WasittheMarshalseayouwanted?I’mgoingondutythere。Comeacrosswithme。’
  Shelaidherhanduponhisarm,andhetookherovertheway;thecrowd,ratherinjuredbythenearprospectoflosingher,pressingbeforeandbehindandoneitherside,andrecommendinganadjournmenttoBedlam。Afteramomentarywhirlintheoutercourt-
  yard,theprison-dooropened,andshutuponthem。IntheLodge,whichseemedbycontrastwiththeouternoiseaplaceofrefugeandpeace,ayellowlampwasalreadystrivingwiththeprisonshadows。
  ’Why,John!’saidtheturnkeywhoadmittedthem。’Whatisit?’
  ’Nothing,father;onlythisladynotknowingherway,andbeingbadgeredbytheboys。Whodidyouwant,ma’am?’
  ’MissDorrit。Isshehere?’
  Theyoungmanbecamemoreinterested。’Yes,sheishere。Whatmightyournamebe?’
  ’MrsClennam。’
  ’MrClennam’smother?’askedtheyoungman。
  Shepressedherlipstogether,andhesitated。’Yes。Shehadbetterbetolditishismother。’
  ’Yousee,’saidtheyoungman,’theMarshal’sfamilylivinginthecountryatpresent,theMarshalhasgivenMissDorritoneoftheroomsinhishousetousewhenshelikes。Don’tyouthinkyouhadbettercomeupthere,andletmebringMissDorrit?’
  Shesignifiedherassent,andheunlockedadoorandconductedherupasidestaircaseintoadwelling-houseabove。Heshowedherintoadarkeningroom,andlefther。Theroomlookeddownintothedarkeningprison-yard,withitsinmatesstrollinghereandthere,leaningoutofwindowscommuningasmuchapartastheycouldwithfriendswhoweregoingaway,andgenerallywearingouttheirimprisonmentastheybestmightthatsummerevening。Theairwasheavyandhot;theclosenessoftheplace,oppressive;andfromwithouttherearosearushoffreesounds,likethejarringmemoryofsuchthingsinaheadacheandheartache。Shestoodatthewindow,bewildered,lookingdownintothisprisonasitwereoutofherowndifferentprison,whenasoftwordortwoofsurprisemadeherstart,andLittleDorritstoodbeforeher。
  ’Isitpossible,MrsClennam,thatyouaresohappilyrecoveredas——’
  LittleDorritstopped,fortherewasneitherhappinessnorhealthinthefacethatturnedtoher。
  ’Thisisnotrecovery;itisnotstrength;Idon’tknowwhatitis。’Withanagitatedwaveofherhand,sheputallthataside。
  ’YouhaveapacketleftwithyouwhichyouweretogivetoArthur,ifitwasnotreclaimedbeforethisplaceclosedto-night。’
  ’Yes。’
  ’Ireclaimit。’
  LittleDorrittookitfromherbosom,andgaveitintoherhand,whichremainedstretchedoutafterreceivingit。
  ’Haveyouanyideaofitscontents?’
  FrightenedbyherbeingtherewiththatnewpowerOfMovementinher,which,asshesaidherself,wasnotstrength,andwhichwasunrealtolookupon,asthoughapictureorstatuehadbeenanimated,LittleDorritanswered’No。’
  ’Readthem。’
  LittleDorrittookthepacketfromthestilloutstretchedhand,andbroketheseal。MrsClennamthengavehertheinnerpacketthatwasaddressedtoherself,andheldtheother。Theshadowofthewallandoftheprisonbuildings,whichmadetheroomsombreatnoon,madeittoodarktoreadthere,withtheduskdeepeningapace,saveinthewindow。Inthewindow,wherealittleofthebrightsummereveningskycouldshineuponher,LittleDorritstood,andread。Afterabrokenexclamationorsoofwonderandofterror,shereadinsilence。Whenshehadfinished,shelookedround,andheroldmistressbowedherselfbeforeher。