首页 >出版文学> Lin McLean>第27章

第27章

  “Yu’lookedso——sobad,Lin。Ineverseenyu’looksobadinolddays。
  Wait,now,andImusttellit。Iwishedtolaughinherfaceandsay,’Whatdoyouknowaboutlove?’SoIwalkedin。Lin,shedoesloveyus!“
  “Yes,“breathedMcLean。
  “Shewassittin’backinherroomatSepar。Nottheticket-office,but——“
  “Iknow,“thecow-punchersaid。Hiseyeswereburning。
  “It’ssnug,thewayshehasit。’Good-afternoon,’Isays。’IsthisMissJessamineBuckner?’“
  Athissweetheart’snametheglowinLin’seyesseemedtoquivertoaflash。
  “Andshespokepleasanttome——pleasantandgay-like。Butawomancantellsorrowinawoman’seyes。AndsheaskedmewouldIrestinherroomthere,andwhatwasmyname。’TheytellmeyouclaimtoknowitbetterthanIdo,’Isays。’TheytellmeyousayitisMrs。McLean。’Sheputherhandonherbreast,andshekeepslookin’atmewithoutneverspeaking。
  ’MaybeIamnotsowelcomenow,’Isays。’Oneminute,’saysshe。’Letmegetusedtoit。’Andshesatdown。
  “Lin,sheisasquare-lookin’girl。I’llsaythatforher。
  “Ineverthoughttositdownoncedmyself;Idon’tknowwhy,butIkep’
  a-standing,andItookinthatroomofhers。Shehadflowersandthingsaroundthere,andIseenyourpicturestandingonthetable,andIseenyoursix-shooterrightbyit——and,oh,Lin,hadn’tIknowedyourfacebeforeevershedid,andthatgunyouusedtoletmeshootonBearCreek?
  Ittookmethatsudden!Why,itrushedovermesoIspokerightoutdifferentfromwhatI’dmeantandwhatIhadreadyfixeduptosay。
  “’Whydidyoudoit?’Isaystoher,whileshewasa-sitting。’Howcouldyouactso,andyouawoman?’Shejustsat,andhersadeyesmadememadderattheideaofher。’Youhavehadrealsorrow,’saysI,’iftheyreportcorrect。Youhaveknowedyourshareofdeath,andmisery,andhardwork,andall。GreatGod!ain’ttherethingsenoughthatcometoyusuncalledforandnatural,butyoumustrunaroundhuntin’upmorethatwasleavin’yusaloneandgivin’yusachance?Iknowedhimonced。I
  knowedyourLinMcLean。Andwhenthatwasover,Iknowedforthefirsttimehowmencanbedifferent。’I’mstarted,Lin,I’mstarted。Leavemegoon,andwhenI’mthroughI’llquit。’Someof’em,anyway,’Isaystoher,’hasheartsandself-respect,andain’thogscleanthrough。’
  “’Iknow,“shesays,thoughtful-like。
  “AndatherwhisperingthatwayIgetsmadder。
  “’Youknow!’Isaysthen。’Whatisitthatyouknow?Doyouknowthatyouhavehurtagoodman’sheart?ForoncedIhurtitmyself,thoughdifferent。Andhurtsinthemkindofheartsstays。Someheartsisthatlusciousandpastyyoucanstab’emanditclosesupsoyu’dneversuspiciontheplace——butLinMcLean!Noryetdon’tyusbelievehisisthekindthatbreaks——ifanykinddoesthat。Youmaysittillthegrayhairs,andyoumaywallupyourwomanhood,butifamanhasgotmanhoodlikehim,hewillneversittillthegrayhairs。Griefoverlosin’thebestwillnotstophimfromsearchin’forasecondbestafterawhile。Hewantsahome,andhehasgotarighttoone,’saysItoMissJessamine。
  ’YouhavenotwalledupLinMcLean,’Isaystoher。Wait,Lin,wait。Yusneedn’ttotellmethat’salie。Iknowamanthinkshe’swalledupforawhile。“
  “Shecouldhavetoldyouitwasalie,“saidthecow-puncher。
  “Shedidnot。’Lethimgetahome,’saysshe。’Iwanthimtobehappy。’
  ’Thatflashinyoureyestalksdifferent,’saysI。’Sureenoughyuswantshimtobehappy。Sureenough。ButnothappyalongwithMissSecondBest。’
  “Lin,shelookedatmethatpiercin’!
  “AndIgoeson,forIwaswoundawayup。’Andhewillbehappy,too,’I
  says。’MissSecondBestwillhaveatalkwithhimaboutyourpictureandlittle“Neighbor,“whichhe’llnotsendbacktoyus,becausethehurtinhisheartisthere。Andhewillkeep’emoutofsightsomewheresafterhistalkwithMissSecondBest。’Lin,Lin,Ilaughedatthemwordsofmine,butIwasthatwoundupIwasstrangetomyself。Andshewatchin’
  methatway!AndIsaystoher:’MissSecondBestwillnotbethecrazythingtothinkIamanywifeofhisstandinginherway。Hewilltellheraboutme。HewilltellhowoncedhethoughthewassolidmarriedtometillLuskcameback;andshewilldropmeoutofsightalongwiththerestthatwentnameless。Theywasnotuncomprehensibletoyou,wasthey?
  Youhavelearnedsomethingbylivin’,Iguess!AndLin——yourLin,notmine,nornevermineinheartforadaysodeepashe’syournrightnow——
  hehasbeengay——gayasanyI’veknowed。Why,lookatthatfaceofhis!
  Couldaboywithafacelikethathelpbein’gay?Butthatdon’ttouchwhat’sthetrueLindeepdown。Norwillhisdeep-downloveforyouhinderhimlikeitwillhinderyou。Don’tyouknowmenandusisdifferentwhenitcomestopassion?We’reallonethingthen,buttheyain’tsimple。
  Theykeepalongwithlotsofotherthings。Ican’tmakeyusknow,andI
  guessittakesawomanlikeIhavebeentolearntheirnature。Butyoudidknowhelovedyou,andyousenthimaway,andyou’llbehomelessinyerhousewhenhehasdonetherightthingbyhimselfandfoundanothergirl。’
  “Lin,allthewhileIwastalkin’allIknowedtoher,withoutknowin’
  whatI’dbesayin’next,foritcomethatunexpected,shewaslookin’atmewiththemsteadyeyes。AndallshesayswhenIquitwas,’IfIsawhimIwouldtellhimtofindahome。’“
  “Didn’tshetellyu’she’dmademepromisetokeepawayfromseeingher?“
  askedthecow-puncherMrs。Lusklaughed。“Oh,youinnocent!“saidshe。
  “ShesaidifIcameshewouldleaveSepar,“mutteredMcLean,brooding。
  Againthelargewomanlaughedout,butmoreharshly。
  “Ihavekeptmypromise,“Lincontinued。
  “Keepitsomemore。Sithererottinginyourchairtillshegoesaway。
  Maybeshe’sgone。“
  “What’sthat?“saidLin。Butstillsheonlylaughedharshly。“Icouldbetherebyto-morrownight,“hemurmured。Thenhisfacesoftened。“Shewouldneverdosuchathing!“hesaid,tohimself。
  Hehadforgottenthewomanatthetable。Whileshehadtoldhimmattersthatconcernedhimhehadlistenedeagerly。Nowshewasofnomoreinterestthanshehadbeenbeforeherstorywasbegun。Shelookedathiseyesashesatthinkinganddwellinguponhissweetheart。Shelookedathim,andalongingwelledupintoherface。Acertainyouthandheavybeautyrelightedthefeatures。
  “Youarethesame,sameLineveryways,“shesaid。“Awomanistoomanyforyoustill,Lin!“shewhispered。
  Athersummonshelookedupfromhisrevery。
  “Lin,Iwouldnothavetreatedyouso。“
  Thecaressthatfilledhervoicewasplain。Hislookmethersashesatquitestill,hisarmsonthetable。Thenhetookhisturnatlaughing。
  “You!“hesaid。“AtleastI’vehadplentyofeducationinyou。“
  “Lin,Lin,don’ttalkthatbrutaltometo-day。IfyusknowedhownearI
  comeshootingmyselfwith’Neighbor。’Thatwouldhavebeenfunny!
  “Iknowedyuswantedtotearthatpistoloutofmyhandbecauseitwashern。Butyusneverdidsuchthingstome,ferthere’sagentlemaninyousomewheres,Lin。Andyusdidn’tneverhitme,notevenwhenyoucometoknowmewell。AndwhenIseenyousounexpectedagainto-night,andyoujustthesameoldLin,scaringLuskwithshootingthemchickens,socomicandsplendid,Icould’a’justkilledLusksittin’inthewagon。Say,Lin,whatmadeyusdothat,anyway?“
  “Ican’thardlysay,“saidthecow-puncher。“Onlynoticinghimsoturrubleanxioustoquitme——well,amanactswithoutthinking。“
  “Youalwaysdid,Lin。Youwasalwaysacomicalgenius。Lin,themweregoodtimes。“
  “Whichtimes?“
  “Youknow。Youcan’ttellmeyouhaveforgot。“
  “Ihavenotforgotmuch。What’sthesenseinthis?“
  “Yusneverlovedme!“sheexclaimed。
  “Shucks!“
  “Lin,Lin,isitallover?YouknowyuslovedmeonBearCreek。Sayyoudid。Onlysayitwasoncethatway。“Andashesat,shecameandputherarmsroundhisneck。Foramomenthedidnotmove,lettinghimselfbeheld;andthenshekissedhim。Theplatescrashedashebeatandstruckherdownuponthetable。Hewasonhisfeet,cursinghimself。Ashewentoutofthedoor,shelaywhereshehadfallenbeneathhisfist,lookingafterhimandsmiling。
  McLeanwalkeddownBoxElderCreekthroughthetreestowardthestable,whereLuskhadgonetoputthehorseinthewagon。Onceheleanedhishandagainstabigcotton-wood,andstoodstillwithhalf-closedeyes。
  Thenhecontinuedonhisway。“Lusk!“hecalled,presently,andinafewstepsmore,“Lusk!“Then,ashecameslowlyoutofthetreestomeetthehusbandhebegan,withquietevenness,“Yourwifewantstoknow——“Buthestopped。Nohusbandwasthere。Wagonandhorsewerenotthere。Thedoorwasshut。Thebewilderedcow-puncherlookedupthestreamwheretheroadwent,andhelookeddown。Outoftheskywheredaylightandstarswerefaintlyshiningtogethersoundedthelongcriesofthenighthawksastheyspedandswoopedtotheirhuntinginthedusk。Fromamongthetreesbythestreamfloatedacoolerair,anddistantandclosebysoundedthesplashingwater。AboutthemeadowwhereLinstoodhishorsesfed,quietlycrunching。Hewenttothedoor,lookedin,andshutitagain。Hewalkedtohisshedandstoodcontemplatinghisownwagonalonethere。Thenheliftedawayapieceoftrailingvinefromthegateofthecorral,whiletheturkeysmovedtheirheadsandwatchedhimfromtheroof。Aropewashangingfromthecorral,andseeingit,hedroppedthevine。Heopenedthecorralgate,andwalkedquicklybackintothemiddleofthefield,wherethehorsessawhimandhisrope,andscattered。Butheranandherdedthem,whirlingtherope,andsodrovethemintothecorral,andflunghisnooseovertwo。Hedraggedtwosaddles——men’ssaddles——fromthestable,andnexthewasagainathiscabindoorwiththehorsessaddled。Shewassittingquitestillbythetablewhereshehadsatduringthemeal,nordidshespeakormovewhenshesawhimlookinatthedoor。
  “Luskhasgone,“saidhe。“Idon’tknowwhatheexpectedyouwoulddo,orIwoulddo。ButwewillcatchhimbeforehegetstoDrybone。“
  Shelookedathimwithherdumbstare。“Gone?“shesaid。
  “Getupandride,“saidMcLean。“YouaregoingtoDrybone。“
  “Drybone?“sheechoed。Hervoicewastonelessanddull。
  Hemadenomoreexplanationstoher,butwentquicklyaboutthecabin。
  Soonhehadsetitinorder,thedishesontheirshelves,thetableclean,thefireinthestovearranged;andallthesemovementsshefollowedwithasortofblankmechanicalpatience。Hemadeasmallbundleforhisownjourney,tieditbehindhissaddle,broughtherhorsebesideastump。Whenathissharpordershecameout,helockedhiscabinandhungthekeybyawindow,wheretravellerscouldfinditandbeathome。
  Shestoodlookingwhereherhusbandhadslunkoff。Thenshelaughed。
  “It’sabouthissize,“shemurmured。
  Heroldloverhelpedherinsilencetomountintotheman’ssaddle——thistheyhadoftendonetogetherinformeryears——andsotheytooktheirwaydownthesilentroad。Theyhadnotmanymilestogo,andafterthefirsttwolaybehindthem,whenthehorseswerelimberedandhadbeenputtoacanter,theymadetimequickly。TheyhadsoonpassedoutofthetreesandpasturesofBoxElderandcameamongthevastlowstretchesofthegreatervalley。Notevenbydaywastheriver’scourseoftendiscerniblethroughtheridgesandcheatingsamenessofthiswilderness;andbeneaththishalf-darknessofstarsandaquartermoonthesagespreadshapelesstotheloomingmountains,ortonothing。
  “Iwillaskyouonething,“saidLin,aftertenmiles。
  Thewomanmadenosignofattentionassherodebesidehim。
  “DidIunderstandthatshe——MissBuckner,Imean——mentionedshemightbegoingawayfromSepar?“
  “HowdoIknowwhatyouunderstood?“
  “Ithoughtyousaid——“
  “Don’tyoubotherme,LinMcLean。“Herlaughrangout,loudandforlorn——
  onebriefburstthatstartledthehorsesandthatmusthavesoundedfaracrossthesage-brush。“Youmenarerich,“shesaid。
  Theyrodeon,sidebyside,andsayingnothingafterthat。TheDryboneroadwasabroadtrail,awornstripofbarenessgoingonwardovertheendlessshelvingsoftheplain,visibleeveninthislight;andpresently,movinguponitsgraynessonahillinfrontofthem,theymadeoutthewagon。Theyhastenedandovertookit。