“Yu’lookedso——sobad,Lin。Ineverseenyu’looksobadinolddays。
Wait,now,andImusttellit。Iwishedtolaughinherfaceandsay,’Whatdoyouknowaboutlove?’SoIwalkedin。Lin,shedoesloveyus!“
“Yes,“breathedMcLean。
“Shewassittin’backinherroomatSepar。Nottheticket-office,but——“
“Iknow,“thecow-punchersaid。Hiseyeswereburning。
“It’ssnug,thewayshehasit。’Good-afternoon,’Isays。’IsthisMissJessamineBuckner?’“
Athissweetheart’snametheglowinLin’seyesseemedtoquivertoaflash。
“Andshespokepleasanttome——pleasantandgay-like。Butawomancantellsorrowinawoman’seyes。AndsheaskedmewouldIrestinherroomthere,andwhatwasmyname。’TheytellmeyouclaimtoknowitbetterthanIdo,’Isays。’TheytellmeyousayitisMrs。McLean。’Sheputherhandonherbreast,andshekeepslookin’atmewithoutneverspeaking。
’MaybeIamnotsowelcomenow,’Isays。’Oneminute,’saysshe。’Letmegetusedtoit。’Andshesatdown。
“Lin,sheisasquare-lookin’girl。I’llsaythatforher。
“Ineverthoughttositdownoncedmyself;Idon’tknowwhy,butIkep’
a-standing,andItookinthatroomofhers。Shehadflowersandthingsaroundthere,andIseenyourpicturestandingonthetable,andIseenyoursix-shooterrightbyit——and,oh,Lin,hadn’tIknowedyourfacebeforeevershedid,andthatgunyouusedtoletmeshootonBearCreek?
Ittookmethatsudden!Why,itrushedovermesoIspokerightoutdifferentfromwhatI’dmeantandwhatIhadreadyfixeduptosay。
“’Whydidyoudoit?’Isaystoher,whileshewasa-sitting。’Howcouldyouactso,andyouawoman?’Shejustsat,andhersadeyesmadememadderattheideaofher。’Youhavehadrealsorrow,’saysI,’iftheyreportcorrect。Youhaveknowedyourshareofdeath,andmisery,andhardwork,andall。GreatGod!ain’ttherethingsenoughthatcometoyusuncalledforandnatural,butyoumustrunaroundhuntin’upmorethatwasleavin’yusaloneandgivin’yusachance?Iknowedhimonced。I
knowedyourLinMcLean。Andwhenthatwasover,Iknowedforthefirsttimehowmencanbedifferent。’I’mstarted,Lin,I’mstarted。Leavemegoon,andwhenI’mthroughI’llquit。’Someof’em,anyway,’Isaystoher,’hasheartsandself-respect,andain’thogscleanthrough。’
“’Iknow,“shesays,thoughtful-like。
“AndatherwhisperingthatwayIgetsmadder。
“’Youknow!’Isaysthen。’Whatisitthatyouknow?Doyouknowthatyouhavehurtagoodman’sheart?ForoncedIhurtitmyself,thoughdifferent。Andhurtsinthemkindofheartsstays。Someheartsisthatlusciousandpastyyoucanstab’emanditclosesupsoyu’dneversuspiciontheplace——butLinMcLean!Noryetdon’tyusbelievehisisthekindthatbreaks——ifanykinddoesthat。Youmaysittillthegrayhairs,andyoumaywallupyourwomanhood,butifamanhasgotmanhoodlikehim,hewillneversittillthegrayhairs。Griefoverlosin’thebestwillnotstophimfromsearchin’forasecondbestafterawhile。Hewantsahome,andhehasgotarighttoone,’saysItoMissJessamine。
’YouhavenotwalledupLinMcLean,’Isaystoher。Wait,Lin,wait。Yusneedn’ttotellmethat’salie。Iknowamanthinkshe’swalledupforawhile。“
“Shecouldhavetoldyouitwasalie,“saidthecow-puncher。
“Shedidnot。’Lethimgetahome,’saysshe。’Iwanthimtobehappy。’
’Thatflashinyoureyestalksdifferent,’saysI。’Sureenoughyuswantshimtobehappy。Sureenough。ButnothappyalongwithMissSecondBest。’
“Lin,shelookedatmethatpiercin’!
“AndIgoeson,forIwaswoundawayup。’Andhewillbehappy,too,’I
says。’MissSecondBestwillhaveatalkwithhimaboutyourpictureandlittle“Neighbor,“whichhe’llnotsendbacktoyus,becausethehurtinhisheartisthere。Andhewillkeep’emoutofsightsomewheresafterhistalkwithMissSecondBest。’Lin,Lin,Ilaughedatthemwordsofmine,butIwasthatwoundupIwasstrangetomyself。Andshewatchin’
methatway!AndIsaystoher:’MissSecondBestwillnotbethecrazythingtothinkIamanywifeofhisstandinginherway。Hewilltellheraboutme。HewilltellhowoncedhethoughthewassolidmarriedtometillLuskcameback;andshewilldropmeoutofsightalongwiththerestthatwentnameless。Theywasnotuncomprehensibletoyou,wasthey?
Youhavelearnedsomethingbylivin’,Iguess!AndLin——yourLin,notmine,nornevermineinheartforadaysodeepashe’syournrightnow——
hehasbeengay——gayasanyI’veknowed。Why,lookatthatfaceofhis!
Couldaboywithafacelikethathelpbein’gay?Butthatdon’ttouchwhat’sthetrueLindeepdown。Norwillhisdeep-downloveforyouhinderhimlikeitwillhinderyou。Don’tyouknowmenandusisdifferentwhenitcomestopassion?We’reallonethingthen,buttheyain’tsimple。
Theykeepalongwithlotsofotherthings。Ican’tmakeyusknow,andI
guessittakesawomanlikeIhavebeentolearntheirnature。Butyoudidknowhelovedyou,andyousenthimaway,andyou’llbehomelessinyerhousewhenhehasdonetherightthingbyhimselfandfoundanothergirl。’
“Lin,allthewhileIwastalkin’allIknowedtoher,withoutknowin’
whatI’dbesayin’next,foritcomethatunexpected,shewaslookin’atmewiththemsteadyeyes。AndallshesayswhenIquitwas,’IfIsawhimIwouldtellhimtofindahome。’“
“Didn’tshetellyu’she’dmademepromisetokeepawayfromseeingher?“
askedthecow-puncherMrs。Lusklaughed。“Oh,youinnocent!“saidshe。
“ShesaidifIcameshewouldleaveSepar,“mutteredMcLean,brooding。
Againthelargewomanlaughedout,butmoreharshly。
“Ihavekeptmypromise,“Lincontinued。
“Keepitsomemore。Sithererottinginyourchairtillshegoesaway。
Maybeshe’sgone。“
“What’sthat?“saidLin。Butstillsheonlylaughedharshly。“Icouldbetherebyto-morrownight,“hemurmured。Thenhisfacesoftened。“Shewouldneverdosuchathing!“hesaid,tohimself。
Hehadforgottenthewomanatthetable。Whileshehadtoldhimmattersthatconcernedhimhehadlistenedeagerly。Nowshewasofnomoreinterestthanshehadbeenbeforeherstorywasbegun。Shelookedathiseyesashesatthinkinganddwellinguponhissweetheart。Shelookedathim,andalongingwelledupintoherface。Acertainyouthandheavybeautyrelightedthefeatures。
“Youarethesame,sameLineveryways,“shesaid。“Awomanistoomanyforyoustill,Lin!“shewhispered。
Athersummonshelookedupfromhisrevery。
“Lin,Iwouldnothavetreatedyouso。“
Thecaressthatfilledhervoicewasplain。Hislookmethersashesatquitestill,hisarmsonthetable。Thenhetookhisturnatlaughing。
“You!“hesaid。“AtleastI’vehadplentyofeducationinyou。“
“Lin,Lin,don’ttalkthatbrutaltometo-day。IfyusknowedhownearI
comeshootingmyselfwith’Neighbor。’Thatwouldhavebeenfunny!
“Iknowedyuswantedtotearthatpistoloutofmyhandbecauseitwashern。Butyusneverdidsuchthingstome,ferthere’sagentlemaninyousomewheres,Lin。Andyusdidn’tneverhitme,notevenwhenyoucometoknowmewell。AndwhenIseenyousounexpectedagainto-night,andyoujustthesameoldLin,scaringLuskwithshootingthemchickens,socomicandsplendid,Icould’a’justkilledLusksittin’inthewagon。Say,Lin,whatmadeyusdothat,anyway?“
“Ican’thardlysay,“saidthecow-puncher。“Onlynoticinghimsoturrubleanxioustoquitme——well,amanactswithoutthinking。“
“Youalwaysdid,Lin。Youwasalwaysacomicalgenius。Lin,themweregoodtimes。“
“Whichtimes?“
“Youknow。Youcan’ttellmeyouhaveforgot。“
“Ihavenotforgotmuch。What’sthesenseinthis?“
“Yusneverlovedme!“sheexclaimed。
“Shucks!“
“Lin,Lin,isitallover?YouknowyuslovedmeonBearCreek。Sayyoudid。Onlysayitwasoncethatway。“Andashesat,shecameandputherarmsroundhisneck。Foramomenthedidnotmove,lettinghimselfbeheld;andthenshekissedhim。Theplatescrashedashebeatandstruckherdownuponthetable。Hewasonhisfeet,cursinghimself。Ashewentoutofthedoor,shelaywhereshehadfallenbeneathhisfist,lookingafterhimandsmiling。
McLeanwalkeddownBoxElderCreekthroughthetreestowardthestable,whereLuskhadgonetoputthehorseinthewagon。Onceheleanedhishandagainstabigcotton-wood,andstoodstillwithhalf-closedeyes。
Thenhecontinuedonhisway。“Lusk!“hecalled,presently,andinafewstepsmore,“Lusk!“Then,ashecameslowlyoutofthetreestomeetthehusbandhebegan,withquietevenness,“Yourwifewantstoknow——“Buthestopped。Nohusbandwasthere。Wagonandhorsewerenotthere。Thedoorwasshut。Thebewilderedcow-puncherlookedupthestreamwheretheroadwent,andhelookeddown。Outoftheskywheredaylightandstarswerefaintlyshiningtogethersoundedthelongcriesofthenighthawksastheyspedandswoopedtotheirhuntinginthedusk。Fromamongthetreesbythestreamfloatedacoolerair,anddistantandclosebysoundedthesplashingwater。AboutthemeadowwhereLinstoodhishorsesfed,quietlycrunching。Hewenttothedoor,lookedin,andshutitagain。Hewalkedtohisshedandstoodcontemplatinghisownwagonalonethere。Thenheliftedawayapieceoftrailingvinefromthegateofthecorral,whiletheturkeysmovedtheirheadsandwatchedhimfromtheroof。Aropewashangingfromthecorral,andseeingit,hedroppedthevine。Heopenedthecorralgate,andwalkedquicklybackintothemiddleofthefield,wherethehorsessawhimandhisrope,andscattered。Butheranandherdedthem,whirlingtherope,andsodrovethemintothecorral,andflunghisnooseovertwo。Hedraggedtwosaddles——men’ssaddles——fromthestable,andnexthewasagainathiscabindoorwiththehorsessaddled。Shewassittingquitestillbythetablewhereshehadsatduringthemeal,nordidshespeakormovewhenshesawhimlookinatthedoor。
“Luskhasgone,“saidhe。“Idon’tknowwhatheexpectedyouwoulddo,orIwoulddo。ButwewillcatchhimbeforehegetstoDrybone。“
Shelookedathimwithherdumbstare。“Gone?“shesaid。
“Getupandride,“saidMcLean。“YouaregoingtoDrybone。“
“Drybone?“sheechoed。Hervoicewastonelessanddull。
Hemadenomoreexplanationstoher,butwentquicklyaboutthecabin。
Soonhehadsetitinorder,thedishesontheirshelves,thetableclean,thefireinthestovearranged;andallthesemovementsshefollowedwithasortofblankmechanicalpatience。Hemadeasmallbundleforhisownjourney,tieditbehindhissaddle,broughtherhorsebesideastump。Whenathissharpordershecameout,helockedhiscabinandhungthekeybyawindow,wheretravellerscouldfinditandbeathome。
Shestoodlookingwhereherhusbandhadslunkoff。Thenshelaughed。
“It’sabouthissize,“shemurmured。
Heroldloverhelpedherinsilencetomountintotheman’ssaddle——thistheyhadoftendonetogetherinformeryears——andsotheytooktheirwaydownthesilentroad。Theyhadnotmanymilestogo,andafterthefirsttwolaybehindthem,whenthehorseswerelimberedandhadbeenputtoacanter,theymadetimequickly。TheyhadsoonpassedoutofthetreesandpasturesofBoxElderandcameamongthevastlowstretchesofthegreatervalley。Notevenbydaywastheriver’scourseoftendiscerniblethroughtheridgesandcheatingsamenessofthiswilderness;andbeneaththishalf-darknessofstarsandaquartermoonthesagespreadshapelesstotheloomingmountains,ortonothing。
“Iwillaskyouonething,“saidLin,aftertenmiles。
Thewomanmadenosignofattentionassherodebesidehim。
“DidIunderstandthatshe——MissBuckner,Imean——mentionedshemightbegoingawayfromSepar?“
“HowdoIknowwhatyouunderstood?“
“Ithoughtyousaid——“
“Don’tyoubotherme,LinMcLean。“Herlaughrangout,loudandforlorn——
onebriefburstthatstartledthehorsesandthatmusthavesoundedfaracrossthesage-brush。“Youmenarerich,“shesaid。
Theyrodeon,sidebyside,andsayingnothingafterthat。TheDryboneroadwasabroadtrail,awornstripofbarenessgoingonwardovertheendlessshelvingsoftheplain,visibleeveninthislight;andpresently,movinguponitsgraynessonahillinfrontofthem,theymadeoutthewagon。Theyhastenedandovertookit。
第27章