OnMonday,September22,whenatbreakfast,IunguardedlysaidtoDr。Johnson,’IwishIsawyouandMrs。Macaulaytogether。’Hegrewveryangry;and,afterapause,whileacloudgatheredonhisbrow,heburstout,’No,Sir;youwouldnotseeusquarrel,tomakeyousport。Don’tyouknowthatitisveryunciviltoPITtwopeopleagainstoneanother?’Then,checkinghimself,andwishingtobemoregentle,headded,’Idonotsayyoushouldbehangedordrownedforthis;butitISveryuncivil。’Dr。Taylorthoughthiminthewrong,andspoketohimprivatelyofit;butIafterwardsacknowledgedtoJohnsonthatIwastoblame,forIcandidlyowned,thatImeanttoexpressadesiretoseeacontestbetweenMrs。
Macaulayandhim;butthenIknewhowthecontestwouldend;sothatIwastoseehimtriumph。JOHNSON。’Sir,youcannotbesurehowacontestwillend;andnomanhasarighttoengagetwopeopleinadisputebywhichtheirpassionsmaybeinflamed,andtheymaypartwithbitterresentmentagainsteachother。IwouldsoonerkeepcompanywithamanfromwhomImustguardmypockets,thanwithamanwhocontrivestobringmeintoadisputewithsomebodythathemayhearit。Thisisthegreatfaultof——,namingoneofourfriends,endeavouringtointroduceasubjectuponwhichheknowstwopeopleinthecompanydiffer。’BOSWELL。’Buthetoldme,Sir,hedoesitforinstruction。’JOHNSON。’Whateverthemotivebe,Sir,themanwhodoesso,doesverywrong。Hehasnomorerighttoinstructhimselfatsuchrisk,thanhehastomaketwopeoplefightaduel,thathemaylearnhowtodefendhimself。’
Hefoundgreatfaultwithagentlemanofouracquaintanceforkeepingabadtable。’Sir,saidhe,whenamanisinvitedtodinner,heisdisappointedifhedoesnotgetsomethinggood。I
advisedMrs。Thrale,whohasnocard-partiesatherhouse,togivesweet-meats,andsuchgoodthings,inanevening,asarenotcommonlygiven,andshewouldfindcompanyenoughcometoher;foreverybodylovestohavethingswhichpleasethepalateputintheirway,withouttroubleorpreparation。’Suchwashisattentiontotheminutiaeoflifeandmanners。
Mr。Burke’sLettertotheSheriffsofBristol,ontheaffairsofAmerica,beingmentioned,Johnsoncensuredthecompositionmuch,andheridiculedthedefinitionofafreegovernment,viz。’Foranypracticalpurpose,itiswhatthepeoplethinkso。’——’IwilllettheKingofFrancegovernmeonthoseconditions,saidhe,foritistobegovernedjustasIplease。’AndwhenDr。Taylortalkedofagirlbeingsenttoaparishworkhouse,andaskedhowmuchshecouldbeobligedtowork,’Why,saidJohnson,asmuchasisreasonable:andwhatisthat?asmuchasSHETHINKSreasonable。’
Dr。JohnsonobliginglyproposedtocarrymetoseeIslam,aromantickscene,nowbelongingtoafamilyofthenameofPort,butformerlytheseatoftheCongreves。IsupposeitiswelldescribedinsomeoftheTours。Johnsondescribeditdistinctlyandvividly,atwhichIcouldnotbutexpresstohimmywonder;because,thoughmyeyes,asheobserved,werebetterthanhis,Icouldnotbyanymeansequalhiminrepresentingvisibleobjects。Isaid,thedifferencebetweenusinthisrespectwasasthatbetweenamanwhohasabadinstrument,butplayswellonit,andamanwhohasagoodinstrument,onwhichhecanplayveryimperfectly。
Irecollectaveryfineamphitheatre,surroundedwithhillscoveredwithwoods,andwalksneatlyformedalongthesideofarockysteep,onthequarternextthehousewithrecessesunderprojectionsofrock,overshadowedwithtrees;inoneofwhichrecesses,weweretold,CongrevewrotehisOldBachelor。WeviewedaremarkablenaturalcuriosityatIslam;tworiversburstingneareachotherfromtherock,notfromimmediatesprings,butafterhavingrunformanymilesunderground。Plott,inhisHistoryofStaffordshire,givesanaccountofthiscuriosity;butJohnsonwouldnotbelieveit,thoughwehadtheattestationofthegardener,whosaid,hehadputincorks,wheretheriverManyfoldsinksintotheground,andhadcatchedtheminanet,placedbeforeoneoftheopeningswherethewaterburstsout。Indeed,suchsubterraneouscoursesofwaterarefoundinvariouspartsofourglobe。
TalkingofDr。Johnson’sunwillingnesstobelieveextraordinarythingsIventuredtosay,’Sir,youcomenearHume’sargumentagainstmiracles,“Thatitismoreprobablewitnessesshouldlie,orbemistaken,thanthattheyshouldhappen。“JOHNSON。’Why,Sir,Hume,takingthepropositionsimply,isright。ButtheChristianrevelationisnotprovedbythemiraclesalone,butasconnectedwithprophecies,andwiththedoctrinesinconfirmationofwhichthemiracleswerewrought。’
Intheevening,agentleman-farmer,whowasonavisitatDr。
Taylor’s,attemptedtodisputewithJohnsoninfavourofMungoCampbell,whoshotAlexander,EarlofEglintoune,uponhishavingfallen,whenretreatingfromhisLordship,whohebelievedwasabouttoseizehisgun,ashehadthreatenedtodo。Hesaid,heshouldhavedonejustasCampbelldid。JOHNSON。’WhoeverwoulddoasCampbelldid,deservestobehanged;notthatIcould,asajuryman,havefoundhimlegallyguiltyofmurder;butIamgladtheyfoundmeanstoconvicthim。’Thegentleman-farmersaid,’A
poormanhasasmuchhonourasarichman;andCampbellhadTHATtodefend。’Johnsonexclaimed,’Apoormanhasnohonour。’TheEnglishyeoman,notdismayed,proceeded:’LordEglintounewasadamnedfooltorunonuponCampbell,afterbeingwarnedthatCampbellwouldshoothimifhedid。’Johnson,whocouldnotbearanythinglikeswearing,angrilyreplied,“HewasNOTaDAMNED
fool:heonlythoughttoowellofCampbell。HedidnotbelieveCampbellwouldbesuchaDAMNEDscoundrel,astodosoDAMNEDathing。’HisemphasisonDAMNED,accompaniedwithfrowninglooks,reprovedhisopponent’swantofdecoruminHISpresence。
DuringthisinterviewatAshbourne,Johnsonseemedtobemoreuniformlysocial,cheerful,andalert,thanIhadalmosteverseenhim。Hewaspromptongreatoccasionsandonsmall。Taylor,whopraisedeverythingofhisowntoexcess;inshort,’whosegeesewereallswans,’astheproverbsays,expatiatedontheexcellenceofhisbull-dog,which,hetoldus,was’perfectlywellshaped。’
Johnson,afterexaminingtheanimalattentively,thusrepressedthevain-gloryofourhost:——’No,Sir,heisNOTwellshaped;forthereisnotthequicktransitionfromthethicknessofthefore-part,totheTENUITY——thethinpart——behind,——whichabull-dogoughttohave。’ThisTENUITYwastheonlyHARDWORDthatIheardhimuseduringthisinterview,anditwillbeobserved,heinstantlyputanotherexpressioninitsplace。Taylorsaid,asmallbull-dogwasasgoodasalargeone。JOHNSON。’No,Sir;for,inproportiontohissize,hehasstrength:andyourargumentwouldprove,thatagoodbull-dogmaybeassmallasamouse。’Itwasamazinghowheenteredwithperspicuityandkeennessuponeverythingthatoccurredinconversation。Mostmen,whomIknow,wouldnomorethinkofdiscussingaquestionaboutabull-dog,thanofattackingabull。
Icannotallowanyfragmentwhateverthatfloatsinmymemoryconcerningthegreatsubjectofthisworktobelost。Thoughasmallparticularmayappeartriflingtosome,itwillberelishedbyothers;whileeverylittlesparkaddssomethingtothegeneralblaze:andtopleasethetrue,candid,warmadmirersofJohnson,andinanydegreeincreasethesplendourofhisreputation,Ibiddefiancetotheshaftsofridicule,orevenofmalignity。ShowersofthemhavebeendischargedatmyJournalofaTourtotheHebrides;yetitstillsailsunhurtalongthestreamoftime,and,asanattendantuponJohnson,’Pursuesthetriumph,andpartakesthegale。’
Onemorningafterbreakfast,whenthesunshonebright,wewalkedouttogether,and’pored’forsometimewithplacidindolenceuponanartificialwater-fall,whichDr。Taylorhadmadebybuildingastrongdykeofstoneacrosstheriverbehindthegarden。Itwasnowsomewhatobstructedbybranchesoftreesandotherrubbish,whichhadcomedowntheriver,andsettledclosetoit。Johnson,partlyfromadesiretoseeitplaymorefreely,andpartlyfromthatinclinationtoactivitywhichwillanimate,attimes,themostinertandsluggishmortal,tookalongpolewhichwaslyingonabank,andpusheddownseveralparcelsofthiswreckwithpainfulassiduity,whileIstoodquietlyby,wonderingtobeholdthesagethuscuriouslyemployed,andsmilingwithanhumoroussatisfactioneachtimewhenhecarriedhispoint。Heworkedtillhewasquiteoutofbreath;andhavingfoundalargedeadcatsoheavythathecouldnotmoveitafterseveralefforts,’Come,’saidhe,throwingdownthepole,’YOUshalltakeitnow;’whichIaccordinglydid,andbeingafreshman,soonmadethecattumbleoverthecascade。
Thismaybelaughedatastootriflingtorecord;butitisasmallcharacteristicktraitintheFlemishpicturewhichIgiveofmyfriend,andinwhich,thereforeImarkthemostminuteparticulars。
Andletitberemembered,thatAesopatplayisoneoftheinstructiveapologuesofantiquity。
TalkingofRochester’sPoems,hesaid,hehadgiventhemtoMr。
Steevenstocastratefortheeditionofthepoets,towhichhewastowritePrefaces。Dr。TaylortheonlytimeIeverheardhimsayanythingwittyobserved,thatifRochesterhadbeencastratedhimself,hisexceptionablepoemswouldnothavebeenwritten。’I
askedifBurnethadnotgivenagoodLifeofRochester。JOHNSON。
’WehaveagoodDeath:thereisnotmuchLife。’IaskedwhetherPrior’sPoemsweretobeprintedentire:Johnsonsaidtheywere。I
mentionedLordHailes’scensureofPrior,inhisPrefacetoacollectionofSacredPoems,byvarioushands,publishedbyhimatEdinburghagreatmanyyearsago,wherehementions,’thoseimpuretaleswhichwillbetheeternalopprobriumoftheiringeniousauthour。’JOHNSON。’Sir,LordHaileshasforgot。ThereisnothinginPriorthatwillexcitetolewdness。IfLordHailesthinksthereis,hemustbemorecombustiblethanotherpeople。’I
instancedthetaleofPauloPurgantiandhisWife。JOHNSON。Sir,thereisnothingthere,butthathiswifewantedtobekissedwhenpoorPaulowasoutofpocket。No,Sir,Priorisalady’sbook。Noladyisashamedtohaveitstandinginherlibrary。’
Thehypochondriackdisorderbeingmentioned,Dr。JohnsondidnotthinkitsocommonasIsupposed。’Dr。Taylorsaidhe,isthesameonedayasanother。BurkeandReynoldsarethesame;
Beauclerk,exceptwheninpain,isthesame。Iamnotsomyself;
butthisIdonotmentioncommonly。’
Dr。Johnsonadvisedmeto-day,tohaveasmanybooksaboutmeasI
could;thatImightreaduponanysubjectuponwhichIhadadesireforinstructionatthetime。’WhatyoureadTHENsaidhe,youwillremember;butifyouhavenotabookimmediatelyready,andthesubjectmouldsinyourmind,itisachanceifyouagainhaveadesiretostudyit。’Headded,’Ifamanneverhasaneagerdesireforinstruction,heshouldprescribeataskforhimself。Butitisbetterwhenamanreadsfromimmediateinclination。’
HerepeatedagoodmanylinesofHorace’sOdes,whilewewereinthechaise。IrememberparticularlytheOdeEheufugaces。
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