首页 >出版文学> Letters on Literature>第38章
  Sosaying,shequittedtheroom,leavingmeverylittledisposedtosleep。
  Herewasfoodformyveryworstandmostterriblesuspicions;stilltherewasnotenoughtoremovealldoubt。Ihadnoproofofthetruthofthiswoman’sstatement。
  Takenbyitself,therewasnothingtoinducemetoattachweighttoit;butwhenIvieweditinconnectionwiththeextraordinarymysteryofsomeofLordGlen-
  fallen’sproceedings,hisstrangeanxietytoexcludemefromcertainportionsofthemansion,doubtlesslestIshouldencounterthisperson——thestronginfluence,nay,commandwhichshepossessedoverhim,acircumstanceclearlyestablishedbytheveryfactofherresidingintheveryplacewhere,ofallothers,heshouldleasthavedesiredtofindher——herthusacting,andcontinuingtoactindirectcontradictiontohiswishes;
  when,Isay,Iviewedherdisclosureinconnectionwithallthesecircumstances,Icouldnothelpfeelingthattherewasatleastafearfulverisimilitudeintheallegationswhichshehadmade。
  StillIwasnotsatisfied,nornearlyso。
  Youngmindshaveareluctancealmostinsurmountabletobelieving,uponanythingshortofunquestionableproof,theexistenceofpremeditatedguiltinanyonewhomtheyhaveevertrusted;andinsupportofthisfeelingIwasassuredthatiftheassertionofLordGlenfallen,whichnothinginthiswoman’smannerhadledmetodisbelieve,weretrue,namelythathermindwasunsound,thewholefabricofmydoubtsandfearsmustfalltotheground。
  IdeterminedtostatetoLordGlenfallenfreelyandaccuratelythesubstanceofthecommunicationwhichIhadjustheard,andinhiswordsandlookstoseekforitsprooforrefutation。Fullofthesethoughts,I
  remainedwakefulandexcitedallnight,everymomentfancyingthatIheardthesteporsawthefigureofmyrecentvisitor,towardswhomIfeltaspeciesofhorroranddreadwhichIcanhardlydescribe。
  Therewassomethinginherface,thoughherfeatureshadevidentlybeenhandsome,andwerenot,atfirstsight,unpleasing,which,uponanearerinspection,seemedtoindicatethehabitualprevalenceandindulgenceofevilpassions,andapowerofexpressingmereanimalanger,withanintensenessthatIhaveseldomseenequalled,andtowhichanalmostunearthlyeffectwasgivenbytheconvulsivequiveringofthesightlesseyes。
  Youmayeasilysupposethatitwasnoverypleasingreflectiontometoconsiderthat,whenevercapricemightinducehertoreturn,Iwaswithinthereachofthisviolentand,foraughtIknew,insanewoman,whohad,uponthatverynight,spokentomeinatoneofmenace,ofwhichhermerewords,divestedofthemannerandlookwithwhichsheutteredthem,canconveybutafaintidea。
  WillyoubelievemewhenItellyouthatIwasactuallyafraidtoleavemybedinordertosecurethedoor,lestIshouldagainencounterthedreadfulobjectlurkinginsomecornerorpeepingfrombehindthewindow-curtains,soveryachildwasI
  inmyfears。
  Themorningcame,andwithitLordGlenfallen。Iknewnot,andindeedIcarednot,wherehemighthavebeen;mythoughtswerewhollyengrossedbytheterriblefearsandsuspicionswhichmylastnight’sconferencehadsuggestedtome。
  Hewas,asusual,gloomyandabstracted,andIfearedinnoveryfittingmoodtohearwhatIhadtosaywithpatience,whetherthechargesweretrueorfalse。
  Iwas,however,determinednottosuffertheopportunitytopass,orLordGlenfallentoleavetheroom,until,atallhazards,Ihadunburdenedmymind。
  ’Mylord,’saidI,afteralongsilence,summoningupallmyfirmness——’mylord,Iwishtosayafewwordstoyouuponamatterofverygreatimportance,ofverydeepconcernmenttoyouandtome。’
  Ifixedmyeyesuponhimtodiscern,ifpossible,whethertheannouncementcausedhimanyuneasiness;butnosymptomofanysuchfeelingwasperceptible。
  ’Well,mydear,’saidhe,’thisisnodoubtaverygravepreface,andportends,Ihavenodoubt,somethingextraordinary。
  Prayletushaveitwithoutmoreado。’
  Hetookachair,andseatedhimselfnearlyoppositetome。
  ’Mylord,’saidI,’Ihaveseenthepersonwhoalarmedmesomuchashorttimesince,theblindlady,again,uponlastnight。’Hisface,uponwhichmyeyeswerefixed,turnedpale;hehesitatedforamoment,andthensaid:
  ’Anddidyou,pray,madam,sototallyforgetorspurnmyexpresscommand,astoenterthatportionofthehousefromwhichyourpromise,Imightsayyouroath,excludedyou?——answermethat!’headdedfiercely。
  ’Mylord,’saidI,’IhaveneitherforgottenyourCOMMANDS,sincesuchtheywere,nordisobeyedthem。Iwas,lastnight,wakenedfrommysleep,asIlayinmyownchamber,andaccostedbythepersonwhomIhavementioned。HowshefoundaccesstotheroomIcannotpretendtosay。’
  ’Ha!thismustbelookedto,’saidhe,halfreflectively;’andpray,’addedhe,quickly,whileinturnhefixedhiseyesuponme,’whatdidthispersonsay?sincesomecommentuponhercommunicationforms,nodoubt,thesequeltoyourpreface。’
  ’Yourlordshipisnotmistaken,’saidI;
  ’herstatementwassoextraordinarythatIcouldnotthinkofwithholdingitfromyou。Shetoldme,mylord,thatyouhadawifelivingatthetimeyoumarriedme,andthatshewasthatwife。’
  LordGlenfallenbecameashypale,almostlivid;hemadetwoorthreeeffortstoclearhisvoicetospeak,butinvain,andturningsuddenlyfromme,hewalkedtothewindow。Thehorroranddismaywhich,intheoldentime,overwhelmedthewomanofEndorwhenherspellsunexpectedlyconjuredthedeadintoherpresence,werebuttypesofwhatIfeltwhenthuspresentedwithwhatappearedtobealmostunequivocalevidenceoftheguiltwhoseexistenceIhadbeforesostronglydoubted。
  Therewasasilenceofsomemoments,duringwhichitwerehardtoconjecturewhetherIormycompanionsufferedmost。
  LordGlenfallensoonrecoveredhisself-
  command;hereturnedtothetable,againsatdownandsaid:
  ’Whatyouhavetoldmehassoastonishedme,hasunfoldedsuchatissueofmotivelessguilt,andinaquarterfromwhichIhadsolittlereasontolookforingratitudeortreachery,thatyourannouncementalmostdeprivedmeofspeech;
  thepersoninquestion,however,hasoneexcuse,hermindis,asItoldyoubefore,unsettled。Youshouldhaverememberedthat,andhesitatedtoreceiveasunexceptionableevidenceagainstthehonourofyourhusband,theravingsofalunatic。I
  nowtellyouthatthisisthelasttimeI
  shallspeaktoyouuponthissubject,and,inthepresenceoftheGodwhoistojudgeme,andasIhopeformercyinthedayofjudgment,Iswearthatthechargethusbroughtagainstmeisutterlyfalse,unfounded,andridiculous;Idefytheworldinanypointtotaintmyhonour;and,asIhavenevertakentheopinionofmadmentouchingyourcharacterormorals,I
  thinkitbutfairtorequirethatyouwillevincealiketendernessforme;andnow,onceforall,neveragaindaretorepeattomeyourinsultingsuspicions,ortheclumsyandinfamouscalumniesoffools。
  Ishallinstantlylettheworthyladywhocontrivedthissomewhatoriginaldevice,understandfullymyopinionuponthematter。Goodmorning;’andwiththesewordsheleftmeagainindoubt,andinvolvedinallhorrorsofthemostagonisingsuspense。
  IhadreasontothinkthatLordGlenfallenwreakedhisvengeanceupontheauthorofthestrangestorywhichIhadheard,withaviolencewhichwasnotsatisfiedwithmerewords,foroldMartha,withwhomIwasagreatfavourite,whileattendingmeinmyroom,toldmethatshefearedhermasterhadill-usedthepoorblindDutchwoman,forthatshehadheardherscreamasiftheverylifewereleavingher,butaddedarequestthatIshouldnotspeakofwhatshehadtoldmetoanyone,particularlytothemaster。
  ’HowdoyouknowthatsheisaDutchwoman?’inquiredI,anxioustolearnanythingwhateverthatmightthrowalightuponthehistoryofthisperson,whoseemedtohaveresolvedtomixherselfupinmyfortunes。
  ’Why,mylady,’answeredMartha,’themasteroftencallshertheDutchhag,andothernamesyouwouldnotliketohear,andIamsuresheisneitherEnglishnorIrish;for,whenevertheytalktogether,theyspeaksomequeerforeignlingo,andfastenough,I’llbebound。ButIoughtnottotalkaboutheratall;itmightbeasmuchasmyplaceisworthtomentionher——onlyyousawherfirstyourself,sotherecanbenogreatharminspeakingofhernow。’
  ’Howlonghasthisladybeenhere?’
  continuedI。
  ’Shecameearlyonthemorningafteryourladyship’sarrival,’answeredshe;’butdonotaskmeanymore,forthemasterwouldthinknothingofturningmeoutofdoorsfordaringtospeakofheratall,muchlesstoyou,mylady。’
  Ididnotliketopressthepoorwomanfurther,forherreluctancetospeakonthistopicwasevidentandstrong。
  Youwillreadilybelievethatupontheveryslightgroundswhichmyinformationafforded,contradictedasitwasbythesolemnoathofmyhusband,andderivedfromwhatwas,atbest,averyquestionablesource,Icouldnottakeanyverydecisivemeasurewhatever;andastothemenaceofthestrangewomanwhohadthusunaccountablytwiceintrudedherselfintomychamber,although,atthemoment,itoccasionedmesomeuneasiness,itwasnot,eveninmyeyes,sufficientlyformidabletoinducemydeparturefromCahergillagh。
  AfewnightsafterthescenewhichI
  havejustmentioned,LordGlenfallenhaving,asusual,earlyretiredtohisstudy,IwasleftaloneintheparlourtoamusemyselfasbestImight。
  ItwasnotstrangethatmythoughtsshouldoftenrecurtotheagitatingscenesinwhichIhadrecentlytakenapart。
  Thesubjectofmyreflections,thesolitude,thesilence,andthelatenessofthehour,asalsothedepressionofspiritstowhichI
  hadoflatebeenaconstantprey,tendedtoproducethatnervousexcitementwhichplacesuswhollyatthemercyoftheimagination。
  InordertocalmmyspiritsIwasendeavouringtodirectmythoughtsintosomemorepleasingchannel,whenIheard,orthoughtIheard,uttered,withinafewyardsofme,inanodd,half-sneeringtone,thewords,’Thereisblooduponyourladyship’sthroat。’
  SovividwastheimpressionthatI
  startedtomyfeet,andinvoluntarilyplacedmyhanduponmyneck。
  Ilookedaroundtheroomforthespeaker,butinvain。
  Iwentthentotheroom-door,whichI
  opened,andpeeredintothepassage,nearlyfaintwithhorrorlestsomeleering,shapelessthingshouldgreetmeuponthethreshold。
  WhenIhadgazedlongenoughtoassuremyselfthatnostrangeobjectwaswithinsight,’Ihavebeentoomuchofarakelately;
  Iamrackingoutmynerves,’saidI,speakingaloud,withaviewtoreassuremyself。
  Irangthebell,and,attendedbyoldMartha,Iretiredtosettleforthenight。
  Whiletheservantwas——aswashercustom——arrangingthelampwhichIhavealreadystatedalwaysburnedduringthenightinmychamber,Iwasemployedinundressing,and,indoingso,Ihadrecoursetoalargelooking-glasswhichoccupiedaconsiderableportionofthewallinwhichitwasfixed,risingfromthegroundtoaheightofaboutsixfeet——thismirrorfilledthespaceofalargepanelinthewainscotingoppositethefootofthebed。
  Ihadhardlybeenbeforeitforthelapseofaminutewhensomethinglikeablackpallwasslowlywavedbetweenmeandit。
  ’Oh,God!thereitis,’Iexclaimed,wildly。’Ihaveseenitagain,Martha——
  theblackcloth。’
  ’Godbemercifultous,then!’answeredshe,tremulouslycrossingherself。’Somemisfortuneisoverus。’
  ’No,no,Martha,’saidI,almostinstantlyrecoveringmycollectedness;for,althoughofanervoustemperament,Ihadneverbeensuperstitious。’Idonotbelieveinomens。YouknowIsaw,orfanciedI
  saw,thisthingbefore,andnothingfollowed。’
  ’TheDutchladycamethenextmorning,’
  repliedshe。
  ’Butsurelyhercomingscarcelydeservedsuchadreadfulwarning,’I
  replied。
  ’Sheisastrangewoman,mylady,’saidMartha;’andsheisnotGONEyet——markmywords。’
  ’Well,well,Martha,’saidI,’Ihavenotwitenoughtochangeyouropinions,norinclinationtoaltermine;soIwilltalknomoreofthematter。Good-night,’andsoIwaslefttomyreflections。
  Afterlyingforaboutanhourawake,Iatlengthfellintoakindofdoze;butmyimaginationwasstillbusy,forIwasstartledfromthisunrefreshingsleepbyfancyingthatIheardavoiceclosetomyfaceexclaimasbefore:
  ’Thereisblooduponyourladyship’sthroat。’
  Thewordswereinstantlyfollowedbyaloudburstoflaughter。
  Quakingwithhorror,Iawakened,andheardmyhusbandentertheroom。Eventhiswasitrelief。
  ScaredasIwas,however,bythetrickswhichmyimaginationhadplayedme,I
  preferredremainingsilent,andpretendingtosleep,toattemptingtoengagemyhusbandinconversation,forIwellknewthathismoodwassuch,thathiswordswouldnot,inallprobability,conveyanythingthathadnotbetterbeunsaidandunheard。
  LordGlenfallenwentintohisdressing-
  room,whichlayupontheright-handsideofthebed。Thedoorlyingopen,Icouldseehimbyhimself,atfulllengthuponasofa,and,inabouthalfanhour,Ibecameaware,byhisdeepandregularlydrawnrespiration,thathewasfastasleep。
  Whenslumberrefusestovisitone,thereissomethingpeculiarlyirritating,nottothetemper,buttothenerves,intheconsciousnessthatsomeoneisinyourimmediatepresence,actuallyenjoyingtheboonwhichyouareseekinginvain;atleast,Ihavealwaysfounditso,andnevermorethanuponthepresentoccasion。
  Athousandannoyingimaginationsharassedandexcitedme;everyobjectwhichIlookedupon,thougheversofamiliar,seemedtohaveacquiredastrangephantom-
  likecharacter,thevaryingshadowsthrownbytheflickeringofthelamplight,seemedshapingthemselvesintogrotesqueandunearthlyforms,andwhenevermyeyeswanderedtothesleepingfigureofmyhusband,hisfeaturesappearedtoundergothestrangestandmostdemoniacalcontortions。
  Hourafterhourwastoldbytheoldclock,andeachsucceedingonefoundme,ifpossible,lessinclinedtosleepthanitspredecessor。