Abouttheyear17——,havingbeenappointedtothelivingofC——h,I
rentedasmallhouseinthetown,whichbearsthesamename:onemorninginthemonthofNovember,Iwasawakenedbeforemyusualtimebymyservant,whobustledintomybedroomforthepurposeofannouncingasickcall。AstheCatholicChurchholdsherlastritestobetotallyindispensabletothesafetyofthedepartingsinner,noconscientiousclergymancanaffordamoment’sunnecessarydelay,andinlittlemorethanfiveminutesIstoodreadycloakedandbootedfortheroad,inthesmallfrontparlour,inwhichthemessenger,whowastoactasmyguide,awaitedmycoming。Ifoundapoorlittlegirlcryingpiteouslynearthedoor,andaftersomeslightdifficultyIascertainedthatherfatherwaseitherdeadorjustdying。
’Andwhatmaybeyourfather’sname,mypoorchild?’saidI。Shehelddownherhead,asifashamed。Irepeatedthequestion,andthewretchedlittlecreatureburstintofloodsoftearsstillmorebitterthanshehadshedbefore。Atlength,almostprovokedbyconductwhichappearedtomesounreasonable,Ibegantolosepatience,spiteofthepitywhichI
couldnothelpfeelingtowardsher,andI
saidratherharshly:
’Ifyouwillnottellmethenameofthepersontowhomyouwouldleadme,yoursilencecanarisefromnogoodmotive,andImightbejustifiedinrefusingtogowithyouatall。’
’Oh,don’tsaythat——don’tsaythat!’
criedshe。’Oh,sir,itwasthatIwasafeardofwhenIwouldnottellyou——I
wasafeard,whenyouheardhisname,youwouldnotcomewithme;butitisnousehidin’itnow——it’sPatConnell,thecarpenter,yourhonour。’
Shelookedinmyfacewiththemostearnestanxiety,asifherveryexistencedependeduponwhatsheshouldreadthere;
butIrelievedheratonce。Thename,indeed,wasmostunpleasantlyfamiliartome;but,howeverfruitlessmyvisitsandadvicemighthavebeenatanothertime,thepresentwastoofearfulanoccasiontosuffermydoubtsoftheirutilityormyreluctancetore-attemptingwhatappearedahopelesstasktoweighevenagainstthelightestchancethataconsciousnessofhisimminentdangermightproduceinhimamoredocileandtractabledisposition。
AccordinglyItoldthechildtoleadtheway,andfollowedherinsilence。Shehurriedrapidlythroughthelongnarrowstreetwhichformsthegreatthoroughfareofthetown。Thedarknessofthehour,renderedstilldeeperbythecloseapproachoftheold-fashionedhouses,whichloweredintallobscurityoneithersideoftheway;
thedamp,drearychillwhichrenderstheadvanceofmorningpeculiarlycheerless,combinedwiththeobjectofmywalk,tovisitthedeath-bedofapresumptuoussinner,toendeavour,almostagainstmyownconviction,toinfuseahopeintotheheartofadyingreprobate——adrunkardbuttooprobablyperishingundertheconsequencesofsomemadfitofintoxication;
allthesecircumstancesunitedservedtoenhancethegloomandsolemnityofmyfeelings,asIsilentlyfollowedmylittleguide,whowithquickstepstraversedtheunevenpavementofthemainstreet。
Afterawalkofaboutfiveminutessheturnedoffintoanarrowlane,ofthatobscureandcomfortlessclasswhichistobefoundinalmostallsmallold-
fashionedtowns,chill,withoutventilation,reekingwithallmannerofoffensiveeffluviae,andlinedbydingy,smoky,sicklyandpent-upbuildings,frequentlynotonlyinawretchedbutinadangerouscondition。
’YourfatherhaschangedhisabodesinceIlastvisitedhim,and,Iamafraid,muchfortheworse,’saidI。
’Indeedhehas,sir;butwemustnotcomplain,’repliedshe。’WehavetothankGodthatwehavelodgingandfood,thoughit’spoorenough,itis,yourhonour。’
Poorchild!thoughtI,howmanyanolderheadmightlearnwisdomfromthee——howmanyaluxuriousphilosopher,whoisskilledtopreachbutnottosuffer,mightnotthypatientwordsputtotheblush!Themannerandlanguageofthischildwerealikeaboveheryearsandstation;and,indeed,inallcasesinwhichthecaresandsorrowsoflifehaveanticipatedtheirusualdate,andhavefallen,astheysometimesdo,withmelancholyprematuritytothelotofchildhood,Ihaveobservedtheresulttohaveproveduniformlythesame。Ayoungmind,towhichjoyandindulgencehavebeenstrangers,andtowhichsufferingandself-denialhavebeenfamiliarisedfromthefirst,acquiresasolidityandanelevationwhichnootherdisciplinecouldhavebestowed,andwhich,inthepresentcase,communicatedastrikingbutmournfulpeculiaritytothemanners,eventothevoice,ofthechild。Wepausedbeforeanarrow,crazydoor,whichsheopenedbymeansofalatch,andweforthwithbegantoascendthesteepandbrokenstairswhichledupwardstothesickman’sroom。
Aswemountedflightafterflighttowardsthegarret-floor,Iheardmoreandmoredistinctlythehurriedtalkingofmanyvoices。Icouldalsodistinguishthelowsobbingofafemale。Onarrivingupontheuppermostlobbythesesoundsbecamefullyaudible。
’Thisway,yourhonour,’saidmylittleconductress;atthesametime,pushingopenadoorofpatchedandhalf-rottenplank,sheadmittedmeintothesqualidchamberofdeathandmisery。Butonecandle,heldinthefingersofascaredandhaggard-lookingchild,wasburningintheroom,andthatsodimthatallwastwilightordarknessexceptwithinitsimmediateinfluence。Thegeneralobscurity,however,servedtothrowintoprominentandstartlingreliefthedeath-bedanditsoccupant。Thelightwasnearlyapproximatedto,andfellwithhorribleclearnessupon,theblueandswollenfeaturesofthedrunkard。Ididnotthinkitpossiblethatahumancountenancecouldlooksoterrific。
Thelipswereblackanddrawnapart;theteethwerefirmlyset;theeyesalittleunclosed,andnothingbutthewhitesappearing。
Everyfeaturewasfixedandlivid,andthewholefaceworeaghastlyandrigidexpressionofdespairingterrorsuchasI
neversawequalled。Hishandswerecrosseduponhisbreast,andfirmlyclenched;while,asiftoaddtothecorpse-likeeffectofthewhole,somewhitecloths,dippedinwater,werewoundabouttheforeheadandtemples。
AssoonasIcouldremovemyeyesfromthishorriblespectacle,IobservedmyfriendDr。D——,oneofthemosthumaneofahumaneprofession,standingbythebedside。
Hehadbeenattempting,butunsuccessfully,tobleedthepatient,andhadnowappliedhisfingertothepulse。
’Isthereanyhope?’Iinquiredinawhisper。
Ashakeoftheheadwasthereply。
Therewasapausewhilehecontinuedtoholdthewrist;buthewaitedinvainforthethroboflife——itwasnotthere:andwhenheletgothehand,itfellstifflybackintoitsformerpositionupontheother。
’Themanisdead,’saidthephysician,asheturnedfromthebedwheretheterriblefigurelay。
Dead!thoughtI,scarcelyventuringtolookuponthetremendousandrevoltingspectacle。Dead!withoutanhourforrepentance,evenamomentforreflection;
deadIwithouttheriteswhicheventhebestshouldhave。Isthereahopeforhim?Theglaringeyeball,thegrinningmouth,thedistortedbrow——thatunutterablelookinwhichapainterwouldhavesoughttoembodythefixeddespairofthenethermosthell。Theseweremyanswer。
Thepoorwifesatatalittledistance,cryingasifherheartwouldbreak——theyoungerchildrenclusteredroundthebed,lookingwithwonderingcuriosityupontheformofdeathneverseenbefore。
Whenthefirsttumultofuncontrollablesorrowhadpassedaway,availingmyselfofthesolemnityandimpressivenessofthescene,Idesiredtheheart-strickenfamilytoaccompanymeinprayer,andallkneltdownwhileIsolemnlyandferventlyrepeatedsomeofthoseprayerswhichappearedmostapplicabletotheoccasion。I
employedmyselfthusinamannerwhich,Itrusted,wasnotunprofitable,atleasttotheliving,forabouttenminutes;andhavingaccomplishedmytask,Iwasthefirsttoarise。
Ilookeduponthepoor,sobbing,helplesscreatureswhokneltsohumblyaroundme,andmyheartbledforthem。WithanaturaltransitionIturnedmyeyesfromthemtothebedinwhichthebodylay;
and,greatGod!whatwastherevulsion,thehorrorwhichIexperiencedonseeingthecorpse-liketerrificthingseatedhalfuprightbeforeme;thewhiteclothswhichhadbeenwoundabouttheheadhadnowpartlyslippedfromtheirposition,andwerehangingingrotesquefestoonsaboutthefaceandshoulders,whilethedistortedeyesleeredfromamidthem——
’Asighttodreamof,nottotell。’
Istoodactuallyrivetedtothespot。Thefigurenoddeditsheadandlifteditsarm,Ithought,withamenacinggesture。A
thousandconfusedandhorriblethoughtsatoncerusheduponmymind。Ihadoftenreadthatthebodyofapresumptuoussinner,who,duringlife,hadbeenthewillingcreatureofeverysatanicimpulse,afterthehumantenanthaddesertedit,hadbeenknowntobecomethehorriblesportofdemoniacpossession。
IwasrousedfromthestupefactionofterrorinwhichIstood,bythepiercingscreamofthemother,whonow,forthefirsttime,perceivedthechangewhichhadtakenplace。Sherushedtowardsthebed,butstunnedbytheshock,andovercomebytheconflictofviolentemotions,beforeshereacheditshefellprostrateuponthefloor。
IamperfectlyconvincedthathadInotbeenstartledfromthetorpidityofhorrorinwhichIwasboundbysomepowerfulandarousingstimulant,IshouldhavegazeduponthisunearthlyapparitionuntilIhadfairlylostmysenses。Asitwas,however,thespellwasbroken——superstitiongavewaytoreason:themanwhomallbelievedtohavebeenactuallydeadwasliving!
Dr。D——wasinstantlystandingbythebedside,anduponexaminationhefoundthatasuddenandcopiousflowofbloodhadtakenplacefromthewoundwhichthelancethadleft;andthis,nodoubt,hadeffectedhissuddenandalmostpreternaturalrestorationtoanexistencefromwhichallthoughthehadbeenforeverremoved。Themanwasstillspeechless,butheseemedtounderstandthephysicianwhenheforbidhisrepeatingthepainfulandfruitlessattemptswhichhemadetoarticulate,andheatonceresignedhimselfquietlyintohishands。
Ileftthepatientwithleechesuponhistemples,andbleedingfreely,apparentlywithlittleofthedrowsinesswhichaccompaniesapoplexy;indeed,Dr。D——toldmethathehadneverbeforewitnessedaseizurewhichseemedtocombinethesymptomsofsomanykinds,andyetwhichbelongedtononeoftherecognisedclasses;itcertainlywasnotapoplexy,catalepsy,nordeliriumtremens,andyetitseemed,insomedegree,topartakeofthepropertiesofall。Itwasstrange,butstrangerthingsarecoming。
DuringtwoorthreedaysDr。D——
wouldnotallowhispatienttoconverseinamannerwhichcouldexciteorexhausthim,withanyone;hesufferedhimmerelyasbrieflyaspossibletoexpresshisimmediatewants。Anditwasnotuntilthefourthdayaftermyearlyvisit,theparticularsofwhichIhavejustdetailed,thatitwasthoughtexpedientthatIshouldseehim,andthenonlybecauseitappearedthathisextremeimportunityandimpatiencetomeetmewerelikelytoretardhisrecoverymorethanthemereexhaustionattendantuponashortconversationcouldpossiblydo;perhaps,too,myfriendentertainedsomehopethatifbyholyconfessionhispatient’sbosomwereeasedoftheperilousstuffwhichnodoubtoppressedit,hisrecoverywouldbemoreassuredandrapid。Itwasthen,asI
havesaid,uponthefourthdayaftermyfirstprofessionalcall,thatIfoundmyselfoncemoreinthedrearychamberofwantandsickness。
Themanwasinbed,andappearedlowandrestless。Onmyenteringtheroomheraisedhimselfinthebed,andmuttered,twiceorthrice:
’ThankGod!thankGod!’
Isignedtothoseofhisfamilywhostoodbytoleavetheroom,andtookachairbesidethebed。Sosoonaswewerealone,hesaid,ratherdoggedly:
’There’snouseintellingmeofthesinfulnessofbadways——Iknowitall。I
knowwheretheyleadto——Iseeneverythingaboutitwithmyowneyesight,asplainasIseeyou。’Herolledhimselfinthebed,asiftohidehisfaceintheclothes;andthensuddenlyraisinghimself,heexclaimedwithstartlingvehemence:
’Look,sir!thereisnouseinmincingthematter:I’mblastedwiththefiresofhell;
Ihavebeeninhell。Whatdoyouthinkofthat?Inhell——I’mlostforever——I
havenotachance。Iamdamnedalready——damned——damned!’
Theendofthissentenceheactuallyshouted。Hisvehemencewasperfectlyterrific;hethrewhimselfback,andlaughed,andsobbedhysterically。I
pouredsomewaterintoatea-cup,andgaveittohim。Afterhehadswallowedit,Itoldhimifhehadanythingtocommunicate,todosoasbrieflyashecould,andinamanneraslittleagitatingtohimselfaspossible;threateningatthesametime,thoughIhadnointentionofdoingso,toleavehimatonce,incaseheagaingavewaytosuchpassionateexcitement。
’It’sonlyfoolishness,’hecontinued,’formetotrytothankyouforcomingtosuchavillainasmyselfatall。It’snouseformetowishgoodtoyou,ortoblessyou;
forsuchasmehasnoblessingstogive。’