首页 >出版文学> Letters on Literature>第15章
  Abouttheyear17——,havingbeenappointedtothelivingofC——h,I
  rentedasmallhouseinthetown,whichbearsthesamename:onemorninginthemonthofNovember,Iwasawakenedbeforemyusualtimebymyservant,whobustledintomybedroomforthepurposeofannouncingasickcall。AstheCatholicChurchholdsherlastritestobetotallyindispensabletothesafetyofthedepartingsinner,noconscientiousclergymancanaffordamoment’sunnecessarydelay,andinlittlemorethanfiveminutesIstoodreadycloakedandbootedfortheroad,inthesmallfrontparlour,inwhichthemessenger,whowastoactasmyguide,awaitedmycoming。Ifoundapoorlittlegirlcryingpiteouslynearthedoor,andaftersomeslightdifficultyIascertainedthatherfatherwaseitherdeadorjustdying。
  ’Andwhatmaybeyourfather’sname,mypoorchild?’saidI。Shehelddownherhead,asifashamed。Irepeatedthequestion,andthewretchedlittlecreatureburstintofloodsoftearsstillmorebitterthanshehadshedbefore。Atlength,almostprovokedbyconductwhichappearedtomesounreasonable,Ibegantolosepatience,spiteofthepitywhichI
  couldnothelpfeelingtowardsher,andI
  saidratherharshly:
  ’Ifyouwillnottellmethenameofthepersontowhomyouwouldleadme,yoursilencecanarisefromnogoodmotive,andImightbejustifiedinrefusingtogowithyouatall。’
  ’Oh,don’tsaythat——don’tsaythat!’
  criedshe。’Oh,sir,itwasthatIwasafeardofwhenIwouldnottellyou——I
  wasafeard,whenyouheardhisname,youwouldnotcomewithme;butitisnousehidin’itnow——it’sPatConnell,thecarpenter,yourhonour。’
  Shelookedinmyfacewiththemostearnestanxiety,asifherveryexistencedependeduponwhatsheshouldreadthere;
  butIrelievedheratonce。Thename,indeed,wasmostunpleasantlyfamiliartome;but,howeverfruitlessmyvisitsandadvicemighthavebeenatanothertime,thepresentwastoofearfulanoccasiontosuffermydoubtsoftheirutilityormyreluctancetore-attemptingwhatappearedahopelesstasktoweighevenagainstthelightestchancethataconsciousnessofhisimminentdangermightproduceinhimamoredocileandtractabledisposition。
  AccordinglyItoldthechildtoleadtheway,andfollowedherinsilence。Shehurriedrapidlythroughthelongnarrowstreetwhichformsthegreatthoroughfareofthetown。Thedarknessofthehour,renderedstilldeeperbythecloseapproachoftheold-fashionedhouses,whichloweredintallobscurityoneithersideoftheway;
  thedamp,drearychillwhichrenderstheadvanceofmorningpeculiarlycheerless,combinedwiththeobjectofmywalk,tovisitthedeath-bedofapresumptuoussinner,toendeavour,almostagainstmyownconviction,toinfuseahopeintotheheartofadyingreprobate——adrunkardbuttooprobablyperishingundertheconsequencesofsomemadfitofintoxication;
  allthesecircumstancesunitedservedtoenhancethegloomandsolemnityofmyfeelings,asIsilentlyfollowedmylittleguide,whowithquickstepstraversedtheunevenpavementofthemainstreet。
  Afterawalkofaboutfiveminutessheturnedoffintoanarrowlane,ofthatobscureandcomfortlessclasswhichistobefoundinalmostallsmallold-
  fashionedtowns,chill,withoutventilation,reekingwithallmannerofoffensiveeffluviae,andlinedbydingy,smoky,sicklyandpent-upbuildings,frequentlynotonlyinawretchedbutinadangerouscondition。
  ’YourfatherhaschangedhisabodesinceIlastvisitedhim,and,Iamafraid,muchfortheworse,’saidI。
  ’Indeedhehas,sir;butwemustnotcomplain,’repliedshe。’WehavetothankGodthatwehavelodgingandfood,thoughit’spoorenough,itis,yourhonour。’
  Poorchild!thoughtI,howmanyanolderheadmightlearnwisdomfromthee——howmanyaluxuriousphilosopher,whoisskilledtopreachbutnottosuffer,mightnotthypatientwordsputtotheblush!Themannerandlanguageofthischildwerealikeaboveheryearsandstation;and,indeed,inallcasesinwhichthecaresandsorrowsoflifehaveanticipatedtheirusualdate,andhavefallen,astheysometimesdo,withmelancholyprematuritytothelotofchildhood,Ihaveobservedtheresulttohaveproveduniformlythesame。Ayoungmind,towhichjoyandindulgencehavebeenstrangers,andtowhichsufferingandself-denialhavebeenfamiliarisedfromthefirst,acquiresasolidityandanelevationwhichnootherdisciplinecouldhavebestowed,andwhich,inthepresentcase,communicatedastrikingbutmournfulpeculiaritytothemanners,eventothevoice,ofthechild。Wepausedbeforeanarrow,crazydoor,whichsheopenedbymeansofalatch,andweforthwithbegantoascendthesteepandbrokenstairswhichledupwardstothesickman’sroom。
  Aswemountedflightafterflighttowardsthegarret-floor,Iheardmoreandmoredistinctlythehurriedtalkingofmanyvoices。Icouldalsodistinguishthelowsobbingofafemale。Onarrivingupontheuppermostlobbythesesoundsbecamefullyaudible。
  ’Thisway,yourhonour,’saidmylittleconductress;atthesametime,pushingopenadoorofpatchedandhalf-rottenplank,sheadmittedmeintothesqualidchamberofdeathandmisery。Butonecandle,heldinthefingersofascaredandhaggard-lookingchild,wasburningintheroom,andthatsodimthatallwastwilightordarknessexceptwithinitsimmediateinfluence。Thegeneralobscurity,however,servedtothrowintoprominentandstartlingreliefthedeath-bedanditsoccupant。Thelightwasnearlyapproximatedto,andfellwithhorribleclearnessupon,theblueandswollenfeaturesofthedrunkard。Ididnotthinkitpossiblethatahumancountenancecouldlooksoterrific。
  Thelipswereblackanddrawnapart;theteethwerefirmlyset;theeyesalittleunclosed,andnothingbutthewhitesappearing。
  Everyfeaturewasfixedandlivid,andthewholefaceworeaghastlyandrigidexpressionofdespairingterrorsuchasI
  neversawequalled。Hishandswerecrosseduponhisbreast,andfirmlyclenched;while,asiftoaddtothecorpse-likeeffectofthewhole,somewhitecloths,dippedinwater,werewoundabouttheforeheadandtemples。
  AssoonasIcouldremovemyeyesfromthishorriblespectacle,IobservedmyfriendDr。D——,oneofthemosthumaneofahumaneprofession,standingbythebedside。
  Hehadbeenattempting,butunsuccessfully,tobleedthepatient,andhadnowappliedhisfingertothepulse。
  ’Isthereanyhope?’Iinquiredinawhisper。
  Ashakeoftheheadwasthereply。
  Therewasapausewhilehecontinuedtoholdthewrist;buthewaitedinvainforthethroboflife——itwasnotthere:andwhenheletgothehand,itfellstifflybackintoitsformerpositionupontheother。
  ’Themanisdead,’saidthephysician,asheturnedfromthebedwheretheterriblefigurelay。
  Dead!thoughtI,scarcelyventuringtolookuponthetremendousandrevoltingspectacle。Dead!withoutanhourforrepentance,evenamomentforreflection;
  deadIwithouttheriteswhicheventhebestshouldhave。Isthereahopeforhim?Theglaringeyeball,thegrinningmouth,thedistortedbrow——thatunutterablelookinwhichapainterwouldhavesoughttoembodythefixeddespairofthenethermosthell。Theseweremyanswer。
  Thepoorwifesatatalittledistance,cryingasifherheartwouldbreak——theyoungerchildrenclusteredroundthebed,lookingwithwonderingcuriosityupontheformofdeathneverseenbefore。
  Whenthefirsttumultofuncontrollablesorrowhadpassedaway,availingmyselfofthesolemnityandimpressivenessofthescene,Idesiredtheheart-strickenfamilytoaccompanymeinprayer,andallkneltdownwhileIsolemnlyandferventlyrepeatedsomeofthoseprayerswhichappearedmostapplicabletotheoccasion。I
  employedmyselfthusinamannerwhich,Itrusted,wasnotunprofitable,atleasttotheliving,forabouttenminutes;andhavingaccomplishedmytask,Iwasthefirsttoarise。
  Ilookeduponthepoor,sobbing,helplesscreatureswhokneltsohumblyaroundme,andmyheartbledforthem。WithanaturaltransitionIturnedmyeyesfromthemtothebedinwhichthebodylay;
  and,greatGod!whatwastherevulsion,thehorrorwhichIexperiencedonseeingthecorpse-liketerrificthingseatedhalfuprightbeforeme;thewhiteclothswhichhadbeenwoundabouttheheadhadnowpartlyslippedfromtheirposition,andwerehangingingrotesquefestoonsaboutthefaceandshoulders,whilethedistortedeyesleeredfromamidthem——
  ’Asighttodreamof,nottotell。’
  Istoodactuallyrivetedtothespot。Thefigurenoddeditsheadandlifteditsarm,Ithought,withamenacinggesture。A
  thousandconfusedandhorriblethoughtsatoncerusheduponmymind。Ihadoftenreadthatthebodyofapresumptuoussinner,who,duringlife,hadbeenthewillingcreatureofeverysatanicimpulse,afterthehumantenanthaddesertedit,hadbeenknowntobecomethehorriblesportofdemoniacpossession。
  IwasrousedfromthestupefactionofterrorinwhichIstood,bythepiercingscreamofthemother,whonow,forthefirsttime,perceivedthechangewhichhadtakenplace。Sherushedtowardsthebed,butstunnedbytheshock,andovercomebytheconflictofviolentemotions,beforeshereacheditshefellprostrateuponthefloor。
  IamperfectlyconvincedthathadInotbeenstartledfromthetorpidityofhorrorinwhichIwasboundbysomepowerfulandarousingstimulant,IshouldhavegazeduponthisunearthlyapparitionuntilIhadfairlylostmysenses。Asitwas,however,thespellwasbroken——superstitiongavewaytoreason:themanwhomallbelievedtohavebeenactuallydeadwasliving!
  Dr。D——wasinstantlystandingbythebedside,anduponexaminationhefoundthatasuddenandcopiousflowofbloodhadtakenplacefromthewoundwhichthelancethadleft;andthis,nodoubt,hadeffectedhissuddenandalmostpreternaturalrestorationtoanexistencefromwhichallthoughthehadbeenforeverremoved。Themanwasstillspeechless,butheseemedtounderstandthephysicianwhenheforbidhisrepeatingthepainfulandfruitlessattemptswhichhemadetoarticulate,andheatonceresignedhimselfquietlyintohishands。
  Ileftthepatientwithleechesuponhistemples,andbleedingfreely,apparentlywithlittleofthedrowsinesswhichaccompaniesapoplexy;indeed,Dr。D——toldmethathehadneverbeforewitnessedaseizurewhichseemedtocombinethesymptomsofsomanykinds,andyetwhichbelongedtononeoftherecognisedclasses;itcertainlywasnotapoplexy,catalepsy,nordeliriumtremens,andyetitseemed,insomedegree,topartakeofthepropertiesofall。Itwasstrange,butstrangerthingsarecoming。
  DuringtwoorthreedaysDr。D——
  wouldnotallowhispatienttoconverseinamannerwhichcouldexciteorexhausthim,withanyone;hesufferedhimmerelyasbrieflyaspossibletoexpresshisimmediatewants。Anditwasnotuntilthefourthdayaftermyearlyvisit,theparticularsofwhichIhavejustdetailed,thatitwasthoughtexpedientthatIshouldseehim,andthenonlybecauseitappearedthathisextremeimportunityandimpatiencetomeetmewerelikelytoretardhisrecoverymorethanthemereexhaustionattendantuponashortconversationcouldpossiblydo;perhaps,too,myfriendentertainedsomehopethatifbyholyconfessionhispatient’sbosomwereeasedoftheperilousstuffwhichnodoubtoppressedit,hisrecoverywouldbemoreassuredandrapid。Itwasthen,asI
  havesaid,uponthefourthdayaftermyfirstprofessionalcall,thatIfoundmyselfoncemoreinthedrearychamberofwantandsickness。
  Themanwasinbed,andappearedlowandrestless。Onmyenteringtheroomheraisedhimselfinthebed,andmuttered,twiceorthrice:
  ’ThankGod!thankGod!’
  Isignedtothoseofhisfamilywhostoodbytoleavetheroom,andtookachairbesidethebed。Sosoonaswewerealone,hesaid,ratherdoggedly:
  ’There’snouseintellingmeofthesinfulnessofbadways——Iknowitall。I
  knowwheretheyleadto——Iseeneverythingaboutitwithmyowneyesight,asplainasIseeyou。’Herolledhimselfinthebed,asiftohidehisfaceintheclothes;andthensuddenlyraisinghimself,heexclaimedwithstartlingvehemence:
  ’Look,sir!thereisnouseinmincingthematter:I’mblastedwiththefiresofhell;
  Ihavebeeninhell。Whatdoyouthinkofthat?Inhell——I’mlostforever——I
  havenotachance。Iamdamnedalready——damned——damned!’
  Theendofthissentenceheactuallyshouted。Hisvehemencewasperfectlyterrific;hethrewhimselfback,andlaughed,andsobbedhysterically。I
  pouredsomewaterintoatea-cup,andgaveittohim。Afterhehadswallowedit,Itoldhimifhehadanythingtocommunicate,todosoasbrieflyashecould,andinamanneraslittleagitatingtohimselfaspossible;threateningatthesametime,thoughIhadnointentionofdoingso,toleavehimatonce,incaseheagaingavewaytosuchpassionateexcitement。
  ’It’sonlyfoolishness,’hecontinued,’formetotrytothankyouforcomingtosuchavillainasmyselfatall。It’snouseformetowishgoodtoyou,ortoblessyou;
  forsuchasmehasnoblessingstogive。’