首页 >出版文学> Letters on Literature>第11章
  ’Iamthegentlemanyouname,’saidO’Connor;’andasyouappearimpatient,wehadbetterproceedtoyourcommissionwithoutdelay。’
  ’Then,Mr。O’Connor,youwillpleasetoreadthatnote,’saidthecaptain,placingasealedpaperinhishand。
  O’Connorreaditthrough,andthenobserved:
  ’Thisisveryextraordinaryindeed。
  Thisnoteappearstomeperfectlyunaccountable。’
  ’Youareveryyoung,Mr。O’Connor,’
  saidthecaptain,withvulgarfamiliarity;
  ’but,withoutmuchexperienceinthesematters,Ithinkyoumighthaveanticipatedsomethinglikethis。Youknowtheoldsaying,“Secondthoughtsarebest;“andsotheyareliketoprove,byG——!’
  ’Youwillhavenoobjection,CaptainM’Creagh,onthepartofyourfriend,tomyreadingthisnotetothesegentlemen;
  theyarebothconfidentialfriendsofmine,andoneofthemhasalreadyactedformeinthisbusiness。’
  ’Icanhavenoobjection,’repliedthecaptain,’toyourdoingwhatyoupleasewithyourown。IhavenothingmoretodowiththatnoteonceIputitsafeintoyourhand;andwhenthatisoncedone,itisallonetome,ifyoureadittohalftheworld——that’sYOURconcern,andnoaffairofmine。’
  O’Connorthenreadthefollowing:
  ’Mr。Fitzgeraldbegsleavetostate,thatuponre-perusingMr。O’Connor’scommunicationofthismorningcarefully,withanexperiencedfriend,heisforcedtoconsiderhimselfaschallenged。Hisfriend,CaptainM’Creagh,hasbeenempoweredbyhimtomakeallthenecessaryarrangements。
  ’T——Inn,Thursday。’
  IcanhardlydescribetheastonishmentwithwhichIheardthisnote。Iturnedtothecaptain,andsaid:
  ’Surely,sir,thereissomemistakeinallthis?’
  ’Nottheslightest,I’llassureyou,sir。’
  saidhe,coolly;’thecaseisaveryclearone,andIthinkmyfriendhasprettywellmadeuphisminduponit。MayI
  requestyouranswer?’hecontinued,turningtoO’Connor;’timeisprecious,youknow。’
  O’Connorexpressedhiswillingnesstocomplywiththesuggestion,andinafewminuteshadfoldedanddirectedthefollowingrejoinder:
  ’Mr。O’ConnorhavingreceivedasatisfactoryexplanationfromMr。
  Fitzgerald,ofthelanguageusedbythatgentleman,feelsthattherenolongerexistsanygroundsformisunderstanding,andwishesfurthertostate,thatthenoteofwhichMr。Fitzgeraldspeakswasnotintendedasachallenge。’
  Withthisnotethecaptaindeparted;andaswedidnotdoubtthatthemessagewhichhehaddeliveredhadbeensuggestedbysomeunintentionalmisconstructionofO’Connor’sfirstbillet,wefeltassuredthattheconclusionofhislastnotewouldsetthematteratrest。Inthisbelief,however,weweremistaken;beforewehadleftthetable,andinanincrediblyshorttime,thecaptainreturned。Heenteredtheroomwithacountenanceevidentlytaskedtoavoidexpressingthesatisfactionwhichaconsciousnessofthenatureofhismissionhadconferred;butinspiteofallhiseffortstolookgravelyunconcerned,therewasatwinkleinthesmallgreyeye,andanalmostimperceptiblemotioninthecornerofthemouth,whichsufficientlybetrayedhisinternalglee,asheplacedanoteinthehandofO’Connor。Astheyoungmancasthiseyeoverit,hecoloureddeeply,andturningtoM’Donough,hesaid:
  ’Youwillhavethegoodnesstomakeallthenecessaryarrangementsforameeting。
  SomethinghasoccurredtorenderonebetweenmeandMr。Fitzgeraldinevitable。Understandmeliterally,whenIsaythatitisnowtotallyimpossiblethatthisaffairshouldbeamicablyarranged。
  Youwillhavethegoodness,M’Donough,toletmeknowassoonasalltheparticularsarearranged。Purcell,’hecontinued,’willyouhavethekindnesstoaccompanyme?’andhavingbowedtoM’Creagh,welefttheroom。
  AsIclosedthedoorafterme,Iheardthecaptainlaugh,andthoughtIcoulddistinguishthewords——’By——IknewFitzgeraldwouldbringhimtohiswayofthinkingbeforehestopped。’
  IfollowedO’Connorintohisstudy,andonentering,thedoorbeingclosed,heshowedmethecommunicationwhichhaddeterminedhimuponhostilities。Itslanguagewasgrosslyimpertinent,anditconcludedbyactuallythreateningto’POST’
  him,incasehefurtherattempted’tobeOFF。’IcannotdescribetheagonyofindignationinwhichO’Connorwrithedunderthisinsult。Hesaidrepeatedlythat’hewasadegradedanddishohouredman,’
  that’hewasdraggedintothefield,’that’therewasignominyintheverythoughtthatsuchalettershouldhavebeendirectedtohim。’ItwasinvainthatIreasonedagainstthisimpression;theconvictionthathehadbeendisgracedhadtakenpossessionofhismind。HesaidagainandagainthatnothingbuthisDEATHcouldremovethestainwhichhisindecisionhadcastuponthenameofhisfamily。I
  hurriedtothehall,onhearingM’Donoughandthecaptainpassing,andreachedthedoorjustintimetohearthelattersay,ashemountedhishorse:
  ’Alltherestcanbearrangedonthespot;andsofarewell,Mr。M’Donough——
  we’llmeetatPhilippi,youknow;’andwiththisclassicalallusion,whichwasaccompaniedwithagrinandabow,andprobablyservedmanysuchoccasions,thecaptaintookhisdeparture。
  M’Donoughbrieflystatedthefewparticularswhichhadbeenarranged。Thepartiesweretomeetatthestand-house,intherace-ground,whichlayataboutanequaldistancebetweenCastleConnorandthetownofT。Thehourappointedwashalf-pastfiveonthenextmorning,atwhichtimethetwilightwouldbesufficientlyadvancedtoaffordadistinctview;
  andtheweaponstobeemployedwerePISTOLS——M’Creaghhavingclaimed,onthepartofhisfriend,alltheadvantagesoftheCHALLENGEDparty,andhaving,consequently,insisteduponthechoiceof’TOOLS,’asheexpressedhimself;anditwasfurtherstipulatedthattheutmostsecrecyshouldbeobserved,asFitzgeraldwouldincurgreatriskfromtheviolenceofthepeasantry,incasetheaffairtookwind。
  Theseconditionswere,ofcourse,agreeduponbyO’Connor,andM’Donoughleftthecastle,havingappointedfouro’clockuponthenextmorningasthehourofhisreturn,bywhichtimeitwouldbehisbusinesstoprovideeverythingnecessaryforthemeeting。Onhisdeparture,O’Connorrequestedmetoremainwithhimuponthatevening,sayingthat’hecouldnotbeartobealonewithhismother。’Itwastomeamostpainfulrequest,butatthesametimeonewhichI
  couldnotthinkofrefusing。Ifelt,however,thatthedifficultyatleastofthetaskwhichIhadtoperformwouldbeinsomemeasuremitigatedbythearrivaloftworelationsofO’Connoruponthatevening。
  ’Itisveryfortunate,’saidO’Connor,whosethoughtshadbeenrunninguponthesamesubject,’thattheO’Gradyswillbewithusto-night;theirgaietyandgood-humourwillrelieveusfromaheavytask。Itrustthatnothingmayoccurtopreventtheircoming。’Ferventlyconcurringinthesamewish,IaccompaniedO’Connorintotheparlour,theretoawaitthearrivalofhismother。
  GodgrantthatImayneverspendsuchanotherevening!TheO’GradysDIDcome,buttheirhighandnoisyspirits,sofarfromrelievingme,didbutgiveadditionalgloomtothedespondency,Imightsaythedespair,whichfilledmyheartwithmisery——
  theterribleforebodingswhichIcouldnotforaninstantsilence,turnedtheirlaughterintodiscord,andseemedtomockthesmilesandjestsoftheunconsciousparty。WhenIturnedmyeyesuponthemother,I
  thoughtIneverhadseenherlooksoproudlyandsolovinglyuponhersonbefore——itcutmetotheheart——oh,howcruellyIwasdeceivingher!Iwasahundredtimesontheverypointofstart-
  ingup,and,atallhazards,declaringtoherhowmatterswere;butotherfeelingssubduedmybetteremotions。Oh,whatmonstersarewemadeofbythefashionsoftheworld!howareourkindlierandnoblerfeelingswarpedordestroyedbytheirbalefulinfluences!IfeltthatitwouldnotbeHONOURABLE,thatitwouldnotbeETIQUETTE,tobetrayO’Connor’ssecret。IsacrificedahigherandanoblerdutythanIhavesincebeencalledupontoperform,tothedastardlyfearofbearingtheunmeritedcensureofaworldfromwhichIwasabouttoretire。OFashion!thougaudyidol,whosefeetareredwiththebloodofhumansacrifice,wouldIhadalwaysfelttowardstheeasInowdo!
  O’Connorwasnotdejected;onthecontrary,hejoinedwithloudandlivelyalacrityinthehilarityofthelittleparty;
  butIcouldseeintheflushofhischeek,andintheunusualbrightnessofhiseye,alltheexcitementoffever——hewasmakinganeffortalmostbeyondhisstrength,buthesucceeded——andwhenhismotherrosetoleavetheroom,itwaswiththeimpressionthathersonwasthegayestandmostlight-heartedofthecompany。Twiceorthriceshehadrisenwiththeintentionofretiring,butO’Connor,withaneagernesswhichIalonecouldunderstand,hadpersuadedhertoremainuntiltheusualhourofherdeparturehadlongpassed;andwhenatlengthshearose,declaringthatshecouldnotpossiblystaylonger,Ialonecouldcomprehendthedesolatechangewhichpassedoverhismanner;andwhenIsawthempart,itwaswiththesickeningconvictionthatthosetwobeings,sodeartooneanother,soloved,socherished,shouldmeetnomore。
  O’Connorbrieflyinformedhiscousinsofthepositioninwhichhewasplaced,requestingthematthesametimetoaccompanyhimtothefield,andthishavingbeensettled,weseparated,eachtohisownapartment。IhadwishedtositupwithO’Connor,whohadmatterstoarrangesufficienttoemployhimuntilthehourappointedforM’Donough’svisit;buthewouldnothearofit,andIwasforced,thoughsorelyagainstmywill,toleavehimwithoutacompanion。Iwenttomyroom,and,inastateofexcitementwhichIcannotdescribe,Ipacedforhoursupanddownitsnarrowprecincts。Icouldnot——
  whocould?——analysethestrange,contradictory,torturingfeelingswhich,whileI
  recoiledinshrinkinghorrorfromthescenewhichthemorningwastobring,yetforcedmetowishtheinterveningtimeannihilated;
  eachhourthattheclocktoldseemedtovibrateandtinklethrougheverynerve;
  myagitationwasdreadful;fancyconjureduptheformsofthosewhofilledmythoughtswithmorethanthevividnessofreality;thingsseemedtoglidethroughtheduskyshadowsoftheroom。IsawthedreadedformofFitzgerald——Iheardthehatedlaughofthecaptain——andagainthefeaturesofO’Connorwouldappearbeforeme,withghastlydistinctness,paleandwrithedindeath,thegoutsofgoreclottedinthemouth,andtheeye-ballsglaredandstaring。Scaredwiththevisionswhichseemedtothrongwithunceasingrapidityandvividness,Ithrewopenthewindowandlookedoutuponthequietscenearound。Iturnedmyeyesinthedirectionofthetown;aheavycloudwasloweringdarklyaboutit,andI,inimpiousfrenzy,prayedtoGodthatitmightburstinavengingfiresuponthemurderouswretchwholaybeneath。Atlength,sickandgiddywithexcessofexcitement,Ithrewmyselfuponthebedwithoutremovingmyclothes,andendeavouredtocomposemyselfsofarastoremainquietuntilthehourforourassemblingshouldarrive。
  Afewminutesbeforefouro’clockIstolenoiselesslydownstairs,andmademywaytothesmallstudyalreadymentioned。A
  candlewasburningwithin;and,whenI
  openedthedoor,O’Connorwasreadingabook,which,onseeingme,hehastilyclosed,colouringslightlyashedidso。
  Weexchangedacordialbutmournfulgreeting;andafteraslightpausehesaid,layinghishanduponthevolumewhichhehadshutamomentbefore:
  ’Purcell,Ifeelperfectlycalm,thoughI
  cannotsaythatIhavemuchhopeastotheissueofthismorning’srencounter。I
  shallavoidhalfthedanger。IfImustfall,IamdeterminedIshallnotgodowntothegravewithhisblooduponmyhands。IhaveresolvednottofireatFitzgerald——thatis,tofireinsuchadirectionastoassuremyselfagainsthittinghim。
  DonotsayawordofthistotheO’Gradys。
  Yourdoingsowouldonlyproducefruitlessaltercation;theycouldnotunderstandmymotives。IfeelconvincedthatIshallnotleavethefieldalive。IfImustdieto-
  day,Ishallavoidanawfulaggravationofwretchedness。Purcell,’hecontinued,afteralittlespace,’IwassoweakastofeelalmostashamedofthemannerinwhichI
  wasoccupiedasyouenteredtheroom。
  Yes,_I——I_whowillbe,beforethisevening,acoldandlifelessclod,wasashamedtohavespentmylastmomentofreflectioninprayer。Godpardonme!Godpardonme!’herepeated。
  Itookhishandandpressedit,butI