首页 >出版文学> Letters of Two Brides>第22章
  triumphofthiskindislikestrongwinetovanity,self-love,andalltheself-regardingfeelings。Toposeperpetuallyasadivinityisadraughtsopotentinitsintoxicatingeffects,thatIamnolongersurprisedtoseewomengrowselfish,callous,andfrivolousintheheartofthisadoration。Thefumesofsocietymounttothehead。Youlavishthewealthofyoursoulandspirit,thetreasuresofyourtime,thenoblesteffortsofyourwill,uponacrowdofpeoplewhorepayyouinsmilesandjealousy。Thefalsecoinoftheirprettyspeeches,compliments,andflatteryistheonlyreturntheygiveforthesolidgoldofyourcourageandsacrifices,andallthethoughtthatmustgotokeepupwithoutflaggingthestandardofbeauty,dress,sparklingtalk,andgeneralaffability。Youareperfectlyawarehowmuchitcosts,andthatthewholethingisafraud,butyoucannotkeepoutofthevortex。
  Ah!mysweetheart,howonecravesforarealfriend!HowprecioustomearetheloveanddevotionofFelipe,andhowmyheartgoesouttoyou!JoyfullyindeedarewepreparingforourmovetoChantepleurs,wherewecanrestfromthecomedyoftheRuedeBacandoftheParisdrawing-rooms。Havingjustreadyourletteragain,IfeelthatI
  cannotbetterdescribethisdemoniacparadisethanbysayingthatnowomanoffashioninPariscanpossiblybeagoodmother。
  Good-bye,then,forashorttime,dearone。WeshallstayatChantepleursonlyaweekatmost,andshallbewithyouaboutMay10th。Soweareactuallytomeetagainaftermorethantwoyears!Whatchangessincethen!Hereweare,bothmatrons,bothinourpromisedland——Ioflove,youofmotherhood。
  IfIhavenotwritten,mysweetest,itisnotbecauseIhaveforgottenyou。Andwhatofthemonkeygodson?Ishestillprettyandacredittome?Hemustbemorethanninemonths’oldnow。Ishoulddearlyliketobepresentwhenhemakeshisfirststepsuponthisearth;butMacumertellsmethatevenprecociousinfantshardlywalkattenmonths。
  Weshallhavesomegoodgossipsthere,and“cutpinafores,“astheBloisfolksay。Ishallseewhetherachild,asthesayinggoes,spoilsthepattern。
  P。S——Ifyoudeigntoreplyfromyourmaternalheights,addresstoChantepleurs。Iamjustoff。
  MME。DEL’ESTORADETOMME。DEMACUMER
  Mychild,——Ifeveryoubecomeamother,youwillfindoutthatitisimpossibletowritelettersduringthefirsttwomonthsofyournursing。Mary,myEnglishnurse,andIarebothquiteknockedup。ItistrueIhadnottoldyouthatIwasdeterminedtodoeverythingmyself。BeforetheeventIhadwithmyownfingerssewnthebabyclothesandembroideredandedgedwithlacethelittlecaps。Iamaslave,mypet,aslavedayandnight。
  Tobeginwith,MasterArmand-Louistakeshismealswhenitpleaseshim,andthatisalways;thenhehasoftentobechanged,washed,anddressed。Hismotherissofondofwatchinghimsleep,ofsingingsongstohim,ofwalkinghimaboutinherarmsonafineday,thatshehaslittletimelefttoattendtoherself。Inshort,whatsocietyhasbeentoyou,mychild——ourchild——hasbeentome!
  Icannottellyouhowfullandrichmylifehasbecome,andIlongforyourcomingthatyoumayseeforyourself。Theonlythingis,Iamafraidhewillsoonbeteething,andthatyouwillfindapeevish,cryingbaby。Sofarhehasnotcriedmuch,forIamalwaysathand。
  Babiesonlycrywhentheirwantsarenotunderstood,andIamconstantlyonthelookoutforhis。Oh!mysweet,myhearthasopenedupsowide,whileyouallowyourstoshrinkandshrivelatthebiddingofsociety!Ilookforyourcomingwithallahermit’slonging。Iwantsomuchtoknowwhatyouthinkofl’Estorade,justasyounodoubtarecuriousformyopinionofMacumer。
  Writetomefromyourlastresting-place。Thegentlemenwanttogoandmeetourdistinguishedguests。Come,QueenofParis,cometoourhumblegrange,where
  MME。DEMACUMERTOTHEVICOMTESSEDEL’ESTORADE
  Thenameonthisaddresswilltellyou,dear,thatmypetitionhasbeengranted。Yourfather-in-lawisnowComtedel’Estorade。IwouldnotleaveParistillIhadobtainedthegratificationofyourwishes,andIamwritinginthepresenceoftheKeeperoftheSeals,whohascometotellmethatthepatentissigned。
  Good-byeforashorttime!
  THESAMETOTHESAME
  MARSEILLES,July。
  Iamashamedtothinkhowmysuddenflightwillhavetakenyoubysurprise。ButsinceIamaboveallhonest,andsinceIloveyounotonebittheless,Ishalltellyouthetruthinfourwords:Iamhorriblyjealous!
  Felipe’seyesweretoooftenonyou。Youusedtohavelittletalkstogetheratthefootofyourrock,whichwereatorturetome;andI
  wasfastbecomingirritableandunlikemyself。YourtrulySpanishbeautycouldnotfailtorecalltohimhisnativeland,andalongwithitMarieHeredia,andIcanbejealousofthepasttoo。Yourmagnificentblackhair,yourlovelydarkeyes,yourbrow,wherethepeacefuljoyofmotherhoodstandsoutradiantagainsttheshadowswhichtellofpastsuffering,thefreshnessofyoursouthernskin,farfairerthanthatofablondelikeme,thesplendidlinesofyourfigure,thebreasts,onwhichmygodsonhangs,peepingthroughthelacelikesomelusciousfruit,——allthisstabbedmeintheeyesandintheheart。InvaindidIstickcornflowersinmycurls,invainsetoffwithcherry-coloredribbonsthetamenessofmypalelocks,everythinglookedwashedoutwhenReneeappeared——aReneesounliketheoneIexpectedtofindinyouroasis。
  ThenFelipemadetoomuchofthechild,whomIfoundmyselfbeginningtohate。Yes,Iconfessit,thatexuberanceoflifewhichfillsyourhouse,makingitgaywithshoutsandlaughter——Iwanteditformyself。
  IreadaregretinMacumer’seyes,and,unknowntohim,Icriedoverittwowholenights。Iwasmiserableinyourhouse。Youaretoobeautifulasawoman,tootriumphantasamother,formetoendureyourcompany。
  Ah!youcomplainedofyourlot。Hypocrite!Whatwouldyouhave?
  L’Estoradeismostpresentable;hetalkswell;hehasfineeyes;andhisblackhair,dashedwithwhite,isverybecoming;hissouthernmanners,too,havesomethingattractiveaboutthem。AsfarasIcanmakeout,hewill,soonerorlater,beelecteddeputyfortheBouches-
  du-Rhone;intheChamberheissuretocometothefront,foryoucanalwayscountonmetopromoteyourinterests。Thesufferingsofhisexilehavegivenhimthatcalmanddignifiedairwhichgoeshalf-way,inmyopinion,tomakeapolitician。Forthewholeartofpolitics,dear,seemstometoconsistinlookingserious。Atthisrate,Macumer,asItoldhim,oughtcertainlytohaveahighpositioninthestate。
  Andso,havingcompletelysatisfiedmyselfofyourhappiness,IflyoffcontentedtomydearChantepleurs,whereFelipemustreallyachievehisaspirations。Ihavemadeupmymindnottoreceiveyoutherewithoutafinebabyatmybreasttomatchyours。
  Oh!IknowverywellIdeservealltheepithetsyoucanhurlatme。I
  amafool,awretch,anidiot。Alas!thatisjustwhatjealousymeans。
  Iamnotvexedwithyou,butIwasmiserable,andyouwillforgivemeforescapingfrommymisery。Twodaysmore,andIshouldhavemadeanexhibitionofmyself;yes,therewouldhavebeenanoutbreakofvulgarity。
  Butinspiteoftheragegnawingatmyheart,Iamgladtohavecome,gladtohaveseenyouintheprideofyourbeautifulmotherhood,myfriendstill,asIremainyoursinalltheabsorptionofmylove。Why,evenhereatMarseilles,onlyastepfromyourdoor,Ibegintofeelproudofyouandofthesplendidmotherthatyouwillmake。
  Howwellyoujudgedyourvocation!Youseemtomebornforthepartofmotherratherthanoflover,exactlyasthereverseistrueofme。
  Therearewomencapableofneither,hard-favoredorsillywomen。A
  goodmotherandapassionatelylovingwifehavethisincommon,thattheybothneedintelligenceanddiscretioneverathand,andanunfailingcommandofeverywomanlyartandgrace。Oh!Iwatchedyouwell;needIadd,slypuss,thatIadmiredyoutoo!Yourchildrenwillbehappy,butnotspoilt,withyourtendernesslappingthemroundandtheclearlightofyourreasonplayingsoftlyonthem。
  TellLouisthetruthaboutmygoingaway,butfindsomedecentexcuseforyourfather-in-law,whoseemstoactasstewardfortheestablishment;andbecarefultodothesameforyourfamily——atrueProvencalversionoftheHarlowefamily。FelipedoesnotknowwhyI
  left,andhewillneverknow。Ifheasks,Ishallcontrivetofindsomecolorablepretext,probablythatyouwerejealousofme!Forgivemethislittleconventionalfib。
  Good-bye。Iwriteinhaste,asIwantyoutogetthisatlunch-time;
  andthepostilion,whohasundertakentoconveyittoyou,ishere,refreshinghimselfwhilehewaits。
  Manykissestomydearlittlegodson。BesureyoucometoChantepleursinOctober。IshallbealonethereallthetimethatMacumerisawayinSardinia,whereheisdesigninggreatimprovementsinhisestate。
  Atleastthatishisplanforthemoment,andhispetvanityconsistsinhavingaplan。Thenhefeelsthathehasawillofhisown,andthismakeshimveryuneasywhenheunfoldsittome。Good-bye!
  THEVICOMTESSEDEL’ESTORADETOTHEBARONNEDEMACUMER
  Dear,——nowordscanexpresstheastonishmentofallourpartywhen,atluncheon,weweretoldthatyouhadbothgone,and,aboveall,whenthepostilionwhotookyoutoMarseilleshandedmeyourmadletter。
  Why,naughtychild,itwasofyourhappiness,andnothingelse,thatmadethethemeofthosetalksbelowtherock,onthe“Louise“seat,andyouhadnotthefaintestjustificationforobjectingtothem。
  /Ingrata!/Mysentenceonyouisthatyoureturnhereatmyfirstsummons。Inthathorridletter,scribbledontheinnpaper,youdidnottellmewhatwouldbeyournextstoppingplace;soImustaddressthistoChantepleurs。
  Listentome,dearsisterofmyheart。Knowfirst,thatmymindissetonyourhappiness。Yourhusband,dearLouise,commandsrespect,notonlybyhisnaturalgravityanddignifiedexpression,butalsobecausehesomehowimpressesonewiththesplendidpowerrevealedinhispiquantplainnessandinthefireofhisvelveteyes;andyouwillunderstandthatitwassomelittletimebeforeIcouldmeethimonthoseeasytermswhicharealmostnecessaryforintimateconversation。
  Further,thismanhasbeenPrimeMinister,andheidolizesyou;whenceitfollowsthathemustbeaprofounddissembler。Tofishupsecrets,therefore,fromtherockycavernsofthisdiplomaticsoulisaworkdemandingaskilfulhandnolessthanareadybrain。Nevertheless,I
  succeededatlast,withoutrousingmyvictim’ssuspicions,indiscoveringmanythingsofwhichyou,mypet,havenoconception。
  Youknowthat,betweenustwo,mypartisratherthatofreason,yoursofimagination:Ipersonifysoberduty,yourecklesslove。Ithaspleasedfatetocontinueinourlivesthiscontrastincharacterwhichwasimperceptibletoallexceptourselves。Iamasimplecountryvicountess,veryambitious,andmakingithertasktoleadherfamilyontheroadtoprosperity。Ontheotherhand,Macumer,lateDucdeSoria,hasanameintheworld,andyou,aduchessbyright,reigninParis,wherereigningisnoeasymatterevenforkings。Youhaveaconsiderablefortune,whichwillbedoubledifMacumercarriesouthisprojectsfordevelopinghisgreatestatesinSardinia,theresourcesofwhicharematterofcommontalkatMarseilles。Deny,ifyoucan,thatifeitherhastherighttobejealous,itisnotyou。But,thankGod,wehavebothheartsgenerousenoughtoplaceourfriendshipbeyondreachofsuchvulgarpettiness。
  Iknowyou,dear;Iknowthat,erenow,youareashamedofhavingfled。Butdon’tsupposethatyourflightwillsaveyoufromasinglewordofdiscoursewhichIhadpreparedforyourbenefitto-daybeneaththerock。Readcarefullythen,Ibegofyou,whatIsay,foritconcernsyouevenmorecloselythanMacumer,thoughhealsoenterslargelyintomysermon。
  Firstly,mydear,youdonotlovehim。Beforetwoyearsareover,youwillbesickofadoration。YouwillneverlookonFelipeasahusband;
  toyouhewillalwaysbetheloverwhomyoucanplaywith,forthatishowallwomentreattheirlovers。Youdonotlookuptohim,orreverence,orworshiphimasawomanshouldthegodofheridolatry。
  Yousee,Ihavemadeastudyoflove,mysweet,andmorethanoncehaveItakensoundingsinthedepthofmyownheart。Now,astheresultofacarefuldiagnosisofyourcase,Icansaywithconfidence,thisisnotlove。
  Yes,dearQueenofParis,youcannotescapethedestinyofallqueens。
  Thedaywillcomewhenyoulongtobetreatedasalight-o’-love,tobemasteredandsweptoffyourfeetbyastrongman,onewhowillnotprostratehimselfinadorationbeforeyou,butwillseizeyourarmroughlyinafitofjealousy。Macumerlovesyoutoofondlyevertobeableeithertoresistyouorfindfaultwithyou。Asingleglancefromyou,asinglecoaxingword,wouldmelthissternestresolution。Soonerorlater,youwilllearntoscornthisexcessivedevotion。Hespoilsyou,alas!justasIusedtospoilyouattheconvent,foryouareamostbewitchingwoman,andthereisnoescapingyoursiren-likecharms。
  Worsethanall,youarecandid,anditoftenhappensthatourhappinessdependsoncertainsocialhypocrisiestowhichyouwillneverstoop。Forinstance,societywillnottolerateafrankdisplayofthewife’spoweroverherhusband。Theconventionisthatamanmustnomoreshowhimselftheloverofhiswife,howeverpassionatelyheadoresher,thanamarriedwomanmayplaythepartofamistress。
  Thisruleyoubothdisregard。
  Inthefirstplace,mychild,fromwhatyouhaveyourselftoldme,itisclearthattheoneunpardonablesininsocietyistobehappy。Ifhappinessexists,noonemustknowofit。Butthisisasmallpoint。
  Whatseemstomeimportantisthattheperfectequalitywhichreignsbetweenloversoughtnevertoappearinthecaseofhusbandandwife,underpainofunderminingthewholefabricofsocietyandentailingterribledisasters。Ifitispainfultoseeamanwhomnaturehasmadeanonentity,howmuchworseisthespectacleofamanofpartsbroughttothatposition?BeforeverylongyouwillhavereducedMacumertothemereshadowofaman。Hewillceasetohaveawillandcharacterofhisown,andbecomemereclayinyourhands。Youwillhavesocompletelymouldedhimtoyourlikeness,thatyourhouseholdwillconsistofonlyonepersoninsteadoftwo,andthatonenecessarilyimperfect。Youwillregretitbitterly;butwhenatlastyoudeigntoopenyoureyes,theevilwillbepastcure。Dowhatwewill,womendonot,andneverwill,possessthequalitieswhicharecharacteristicofmen,andthesequalitiesareabsolutelyindispensabletofamilylife。
  AlreadyMacumer,blindedthoughheis,hasadimforeshadowingofthisfuture;hefeelshimselflessamanthroughhislove。HisvisittoSardiniaisaprooftomethathehopesbythistemporaryseparationtosucceedinrecoveringhisoldself。