“Ifyouwalkalongtheboulevard，Ishallhearyourstep；andwhenI
　　wanttoseeyou，Iwillopenmywindow。ButIwouldnotrunsuchariskunlesssomeemergencyarose。Whyhaveyouforcedmebyyourrashacttocommitanother，andonewhichmaylowermeinyoureyes？“
　　ThetearswhichIsawinhiseyesweretomethemosteloquentofanswers。
　　“WhatIhavedoneto-night，“Iwentonwithasmile，“mustseemtoyoutheheightofmadness……“
　　Afterwehadwalkedupanddowninsilencemorethanonce，herecoveredcomposureenoughtosay：
　　“Youmustthinkmeafool；and，indeed，thedeliriumofmyjoyhasrobbedmeofbothnerveandwits。Butofthisatleastbeassured，whateveryoudoissacredinmyeyesfromtheveryfactthatitseemedrighttoyou。IhonoryouasIhonoronlyGodbesides。Andthen，MissGriffithishere。“
　　“Sheishereforthesakeoftheothers，notforus，“Iputinhastily。
　　Mydear，heunderstoodmeatonce。
　　“Iknowverywell，“hesaid，withthehumblestglanceatme，“thatwhethersheisthereornotmakesnodifference。Unseenofmen，wearestillinthepresenceofGod，andourownesteemisnotlessimportanttousthanthatoftheworld。“
　　“Thankyou，Felipe，“Isaid，holdingoutmyhandtohimwithagesturewhichyououghttosee。“Awoman，andIamnothing，ifnotawoman，isontheroadtolovingthemanwhounderstandsher。Oh!onlyontheroad，“Iwenton，withafingeronmylips。“Don’tletyourhopescarryyoubeyondwhatIsay。Myheartwillbelongonlytothem"m.kanbaapp点com"anwhocanreaditandknowitseveryturn。Ourviews，withoutbeingabsolutelyidentical，mustbethesameintheirbreadthandelevation。
　　Ihavenowishtoexaggeratemyownmerits；doubtlesswhatseemvirtuesinmyeyeshavetheircorrespondingdefects。AllIcansayis，Ishouldbeheartbrokenwithoutthem。“
　　“Havingfirstacceptedmeasyourservant，younowpermitmetoloveyou，“hesaid，tremblingandlookinginmyfaceateachword。“Myfirstprayerhasbeenmorethananswered。“
　　“But，“Ihastenedtoreply，“yourpositionseemstomeabetteronethanmine。Ishouldnotobjecttochangeplaces，andthischangeitlieswithyoutobringabout。“
　　“Inmyturn，Ithankyou，“hereplied。“Iknowthedutiesofafaithfullover。ItisminetoprovethatIamworthyofyou；thetrialsshallbeaslongasyouchoosetomakethem。IfIbelieyourhopes，youhaveonly——God!thatIshouldsayit——torejectme。“
　　“Iknowthatyouloveme，“Ireplied。“/Sofar/，“withacruelemphasisonthewords，“youstandfirstinmyregard。Otherwiseyouwouldnotbehere。“
　　Thenwebegantowalkupanddownaswetalked，andImustsaythatsosoonasmySpaniardhadrecoveredhimselfheputforththegenuineeloquenceoftheheart。Itwasnotpassionitbreathed，butamarveloustendernessoffeelingwhichhebeautifullycomparedtothedivinelove。Histhrillingvoice，whichlentanaddedcharmtothoughts，inthemselvessoexquisite，remindedmeofthenightingale’snote。Hespokelow，usingonlythemiddletonesofafineinstrument，andwordsfloweduponwordswiththerushofatorrent。Itwastheoverflowoftheheart。
　　“Nomore，“Isaid，“orIshallnotbeabletotearmyselfaway。“
　　AndwithagestureIdismissedhim。
　　“Youhavecommittedyourselfnow，mademoiselle，“saidGriffith。
　　“InEnglandthatmightbeso，butnotinFrance，“Irepliedwithnonchalance。“Iintendtomakealovematch，andamfeelingmyway——
　　thatisall。“
　　Yousee，dear，aslovedidnotcometome，IhadtodoasMahometdidwiththemountain。
　　Friday。
　　OncemoreIhaveseenmyslave。Hehasbecomeverytimid，andputsonanairofpiousdevotion，whichIlike，foritseemstosaythathefeelsmypowerandfascinationineveryfibre。ButnothinginhislookormannercanrouseinthesesocietysibylsanysuspicionoftheboundlesslovewhichIsee。Don’tsupposethough，dear，thatIamcarriedaway，mastered，tamed；onthecontrary，thetaming，mastering，andcarryingawayareonmyside……
　　Inshort，Iamquitecapableofreason。Oh!tofeelagaintheterrorofthatfascinationinwhichIwasheldbytheschoolmaster，theplebeian，themanIkeptatadistance!
　　Thefactisthatloveisoftwokinds——onewhichcommands，andonewhichobeys。Thetwoarequitedistinct，andthepassiontowhichtheonegivesriseisnotthepassionoftheother。Togetherfulloflife，perhapsawomanoughttohaveexperienceofboth。Canthetwopassionseverco-exist？Canthemaninwhomweinspireloveinspireitinus？WillthedayevercomewhenFelipeismymaster？ShallI
　　tremblethen，ashedoesnow？Thesearequestionswhichmakemeshudder。
　　Heisveryblind!InhisplaceIshouldhavethoughtMlle。deChaulieu，meetingmeunderthelimes，acold，calculatingcoquette，withstarchedmanners。No，thatisnotlove，itisplayingwithfire。
　　IamstillfondofFelipe，butIamcalmandatmyeasewithhimnow。
　　Nomoreobstacles!Whataterriblethought!Itisallebb-tidewithin，andIfeartoquestionmyheart。Hismistakewasinconcealingtheardorofhislove；heoughttohaveforcedmyself-control。
　　Inaword，Iwasnaughty，andIhavenotgottherewardsuchnaughtinessbrings。No，dear，howeversweetthememoryofthathalf-
　　hourbeneaththetrees，itisnothingliketheexcitementoftheoldtimewithits：“ShallIgo？ShallInotgo？ShallIwritetohim？
　　ShallInotwrite？“
　　Isitthuswithallourpleasures？Issuspensealwaysbetterthanenjoyment？Hopethanfruition？Isittherichwhoinverytrutharethepoor？Havewenotbothperhapsexaggeratedfeelingbygivingtoimaginationtoofreearein？Therearetimeswhenthisthoughtfreezesme。ShallItellyouwhy？BecauseIammeditatinganothervisittothebottomofthegarden——withoutGriffith。HowfarcouldIgointhisdirection？Imaginationknowsnolimit，butitisnotsowithpleasure。
　　Tellme，dearbe-furbelowedprofessor，howcanonereconcilethetwogoalsofawoman’sexistence？
　　Iamnotpleasedwithyou。IfyoudidnotcryoverRacine’s/Berenice/，andfeelittobethemostterribleoftragedies，thereisnokinshipinoursouls；weshallnevergetontogether，andhadbetterbreakoffatonce。Letusmeetnomore。Forgetme；forifIdonothaveasatisfactoryreply，Ishallforgetyou。YouwillbecomeM。
　　leBarondeMacumerforme，orratheryouwillceasetobeatall。
　　YesterdayatMme。d’Espard’syouhadaself-satisfiedairwhichdisgustedme。Nodoubt，apparently，aboutyourconquest!Insoberearnest，yourself-possessionalarmsme。Notatraceinyouofthehumbleslaveofyourfirstletter。Farfrombetrayingtheabsent-
　　mindednessofalover，youpolishedepigrams!Thisisnottheattitudeofatruebeliever，alwaysprostratebeforehisdivinity。
　　Ifyoudonotfeelmetobetheverybreathofyourlife，abeingnoblerthanotherwomen，andtobejudgedbyotherstandards，thenI
　　mustbelessthanawomaninyoursight。Youhaverousedinmeaspiritofmistrust，Felipe，anditsangrymutteringshavedrownedtheaccentsoftenderness。WhenIlookbackuponwhathaspassedbetweenus，IfeelintruththatIhavearighttobesuspicious。Forknow，PrimeMinisterofalltheSpains，thatIhavereflectedmuchonthedefencelessconditionofoursex。Myinnocencehasheldatorch，andmyfingersarenotburnt。Letmerepeattoyou，then，whatmyyouthfulexperiencetaughtme。
　　Inallothermatters，duplicity，faithlessness，andbrokenpledgesarebroughttobookandpunished；butnotsowithlove，whichisatoncethevictim，theaccuser，thecounsel，judge，andexecutioner。Thecruelesttreachery，themostheartlesscrimes，arethosewhichremainforeverconcealed，withtwoheartsaloneforwitness。Howindeedshouldthevictimproclaimthemwithoutinjurytoherself？Love，therefore，hasitsowncode，itsownpenalsystem，withwhichtheworldhasnoconcern。
　　Now，formypart，Ihaveresolvednevertopardonaseriousmisdemeanor，andinlove，pray，whatisnotserious？Yesterdayyouhadalltheairofamansuccessfulinhissuit。Youwouldbewrongtodoubtit；andyet，ifthisassurancerobbedyouofthecharmingsimplicitywhichsprangfromuncertainty，Ishouldblameyouseverely。
　　Iwouldhaveyouneitherbashfulnorself-complacent；Iwouldnothaveyouinterroroflosingmyaffection——thatwouldbeaninsult——butneitherwouldIhaveyouwearyourlovelightlyasathingofcourse。
　　Nevershouldyourheartbefreerthanmine。Ifyouknownothingofthetorturethatasinglestabofdoubtbringstothesoul，tremblelestI
　　giveyoualesson!
　　InasingleglanceIconfidedmyhearttoyou，andyoureadthemeaning。Thepurestfeelingsthatevertookrootinayounggirl’sbreastareyours。ThethoughtandmeditationofwhichIhavetoldyouservedonlytoenrichthemind；butifeverthewoundedheartturnstothebrainforcounsel，besuretheyounggirlwouldshowsomekinshipwiththedemonofknowledgeandofdaring。
　　Isweartoyou，Felipe，ifyouloveme，asIbelieveyoudoandifI
　　havereasontosuspecttheleastfallingoffinthefear，obedience，andrespectwhichyouhavehithertoprofessed，ifthepureflameofpassionwhichfirstkindledthefireofmyheartshouldseemtomeanydaytoburnlessvividly，youneedfearnoreproaches。Iwouldnotwearyyouwithlettersbearinganytraceofweakness，pride，oranger，norevenwithoneofwarninglikethis。ButifIspokenowords，Felipe，myfacewouldtellyouthatdeathwasnear。AndyetIshouldnotdietillIhadbrandedyouwithinfamy，andsowneternalsorrowinyourheart；youwouldseethegirlyouloveddishonoredandlostinthisworld，andknowherdoomedtoeverlastingsufferinginthenext。
　　Donottherefore，Iimploreyou，givemecausetoenvytheold，happyLouise，theobjectofyourpureworship，whoseheartexpandedinthesunshineofhappiness，since，inthewordsofDante，shepossessed，Senzabrama，sicuraricchezza!
　　Ihavesearchedthe/Inferno/throughtofindthemostterriblepunishment，sometortureofthemindtowhichImightlinkthevengeanceofGod。
　　Yesterday，asIwatchedyou，doubtwentthroughmelikeasharp，colddagger’spoint。Doyouknowwhatthatmeans？Imistrustedyou，andthepangwassoterrible，Icouldnotendureitlonger。Ifmyservicebetoohard，leaveit，Iwouldnotkeepyou。DoIneedanyproofofyourcleverness？Keepformetheflowersofyourwit。Showtoothersnofinesurfacetocallforthflattery，compliments，orpraise。Cometome，ladenwithhatredorscorn，thebuttofcalumny，cometomewiththenewsthatwomenfloutyouandignoreyou，andnotonelovesyou；
　　then，ah!thenyouwillknowthetreasuresofLouise’sheartandlove。
　　Weareonlyrichwhenourwealthisburiedsodeepthatalltheworldmighttrampleitunderfoot，unknowing。Ifyouwerehandsome，Idon’tsupposeIshouldhavelookedatyoutwice，ordiscoveredoneofthethousandreasonsoutofwhichmylovesprang。True，weknownomoreofthesereasonsthanweknowwhyitisthesunmakestheflowerstobloom，andripensthefruit。YetIcouldtellyouofonereasonverydeartome。
　　Thecharacter，expression，andindividualitythatennobleyourfaceareasealedbooktoallbutme。Mineisthepowerwhichtransformsyouintothemostlovableofmen，andthatiswhyIwouldkeepyourmentalgiftsalsoformyself。Tootherstheyshouldbeasmeaninglessasyoureyes，thecharmofyourmouthandfeatures。Letitbeminealonetokindlethebeaconofyourintelligence，asIbringthelovelightintoyoureyes。IwouldhaveyoutheSpanishgrandeeofolddays，cold，ungracious，haughty，amonumenttobegazedatfromafar，liketheruinsofsomebarbaricpower，whichnooneventurestoexplore。Now，youhavenothingbettertodothantoopenuppleasantpromenadesforthepublic，andshowyourselfofaParisianaffability!
　　Ismyidealportrait，then，forgotten？Yourexcessivecheerfulnesswasredolentofyourlove。Haditnotbeenforarestrainingglancefromme，youwouldhaveproclaimedtothemostsharp-sighted，keen-witted，andunsparingofParissalons，thatyourinspirationwasdrawnfromArmande-Louise-MariedeChaulieu。
　　Ibelieveinyourgreatnesstoomuchtothinkforamomentthatyourloveisruledbypolicy；butifyoudidnotshowachildlikesimplicitywhenwithme，Icouldonlypityyou。Spiteofthisfirstfault，youarestilldeeplyadmiredbyLOUISEDECHAULIEU。