“Ah!heisyoung？“
　　“Certainly，mademoiselle……thoughyoung，heisoneofthemostdistinguishedmeninSpain。“
　　Iscannedthehousemeanwhilethroughmyopera-glass，andseemedtolendaninattentiveeartothesecretary；but，betweenourselves，I
　　waswretchedathavingburnthisletter。Inwhattermswouldamanlikethatexpresshislove？Forhedoesloveme。Tobeloved，adoredinsecret；toknowthatinthishouse，whereallthegreatmenofPariswerecollected，therewasoneentirelydevotedtome，unknowntoeverybody!Ah!Renee，nowIunderstandthelifeofParis，itsballs，anditsgaieties。Itallflashedonmeinthetruelight。Whenwelove，wemusthavesociety，wereitonlytosacrificeittoourlove。
　　Ifeltadifferentcreature——andsuchahappyone!Myvanity，pride，self-love，——allwereflattered。HeavenknowswhatglancesIcastupontheaudience!
　　“Littlerogue!“theDuchesswhisperedinmyearwithasmile。
　　Yes，Renee，mywilymotherhaddecipheredthehiddenjoyinmybearing，andIcouldonlyhauldownmyflagbeforesuchfemininestrategy。ThosetwowordstaughtmemoreofworldlywisdomthanIhavebeenabletopickupinayear——forweareinMarchnow。Alas!nomoreItalianoperainanothermonth。Howwilllifebepossiblewithoutthatheavenlymusic，whenone’sheartisfulloflove？
　　WhenIgothome，mydear，withdeterminationworthyofaChaulieu，I
　　openedmywindowtowatchashowerofrain。Oh!ifmenknewthemagicspellthataheroicactionthrowsoverus，theywouldindeedrisetogreatness!apoltroonwouldturnhero!WhatIhadlearnedaboutmySpaniarddrovemeintoaveryfever。Ifeltcertainthathewasthere，readytoaimanotherletteratme。
　　Iwasright，andthistimeIburntnothing。Here，then，isthefirstlove-letterIhavereceived，madamelogician：eachtoherkind：——
　　“Louise，itisnotforyourpeerlessbeautyIloveyou，norforyourgiftedmind，yournoblefeeling，thewondrouscharmofallyousayanddo，noryetforyourpride，yourqueenlyscornofbasermortals——aprideblentinyouwithcharity，forwhatangelcouldbemoretender？——Louise，Iloveyoubecause，forthesakeofapoorexile，youhaveunbentthisloftymajesty，becausebyagesture，aglance，youhavebroughtconsolationtoamansofarbeneathyouthattheutmosthecouldhopeforwasyourpity，thepityofagenerousheart。Youaretheonewomanwhoseeyeshaveshonewithatendererlightwhenbentonme。
　　“Andbecauseyouletfallthisglance——ameregrainofdust，yetagracesurpassinganybestowedonmewhenIstoodatthesummitofasubject’sambition——Ilongtotellyou，Louise，howdearyouaretome，andthatmyloveisforyourselfalone，withoutathoughtbeyond，alovethatfarmorethanfulfilstheconditionslaiddownbyyouforanidealpassion。
　　“Know，then，idolofmyhighestheaven，thatthereisintheworldanoffshootoftheSaracenrace，whoselifeisinyourhands，whowillreceiveyourordersasaslave，anddeemitanhonortoexecutethem。Ihavegivenmyselftoyouabsolutelyandforthemerejoyofgiving，forasingleglanceofyoureye，foratouchofthehandwhichonedayyouofferedtoyourSpanishmaster。Iambutyourservitor，Louise；Iclaimnomore。
　　“No，IdarenotthinkthatIcouldeverbeloved；butperchancemydevotionmaywinformetoleration。Sincethatmorningwhenyousmileduponmewithgenerousgirlishimpulse，diviningthemiseryofmylonelyandrejectedheart，youreigntherealone。Youaretheabsoluterulerofmylife，thequeenofmythoughts，thegodofmyheart；Ifindyouinthesunshineofmyhome，thefragranceofmyflowers，thebalmoftheairIbreathe，thepulsingofmyblood，thelightthatvisitsmeinsleep。
　　“Onethoughtalonetroubledthishappiness——yourignorance。Allunknowntoyouwasthisboundlessdevotion，thetrustyarm，theblindslave，thesilenttool，thewealth——forhenceforthallI
　　possessismineonlyasatrust——whichlayatyourdisposal；
　　unknowntoyou，theheartwaitingtoreceiveyourconfidence，andyearningtoreplaceallthatyourlifeIknowitwellhaslacked——theliberalancestress，soreadytomeetyourneeds，afathertowhomyoucouldlookforprotectionineverydifficulty，afriend，abrother。Thesecretofyourisolationisnosecrettome!IfI
　　ambold，itisbecauseIlongthatyoushouldknowhowmuchisyours。
　　“Takeall，Louise，andissodoingbestowonmetheonelifepossibleformeinthisworld——thelifeofdevotion。Inplacingtheyokeonmyneck，yourunnorisk；Iasknothingbutthejoyofknowingmyselfyours。Needlesseventosayyouwillneverloveme；
　　itcannotbeotherwise。Imustloveyoufromafar，withouthope，withoutrewardbeyondmyownlove。
　　“Inmyanxietytoknowwhetheryouwillacceptmeasyourservant，Ihaverackedmybraintofindsomewayinwhichyoumaycommunicatewithmewithoutanydangerofcompromisingyourself。
　　Injurytoyourself-respecttherecanbenoneinsanctioningadevotionwhichhasbeenyoursformanydayswithoutyourknowledge。Letthis，then，bethetoken。Attheoperathisevening，ifyoucarryinyourhandabouquetconsistingofoneredandonewhitecamellia——emblemofaman’sbloodattheserviceofthepurityheworships——thatwillbemyanswer。Iasknomore；
　　thenceforth，atanymoment，tenyearshenceorto-morrow，whateveryoudemandshallbedone，sofarasitispossibleformantodoit，byyourhappyservant，“FELIPEHENAREZ。“
　　/P。S。/——Youmustadmit，dear，thatgreatlordsknowhowtolove!SeethespringoftheAfricanlion!Whatrestrainedfire!Whatloyalty!
　　Whatsincerity!Howhighasoulinlowestate!IfeltquitesmallanddazedasIsaidtomyself，“WhatshallIdo？“
　　Itisthemarkofagreatmanthatheputstoflightallordinarycalculations。Heisatoncesublimeandtouching，childlikeandoftheraceofgiants。InasingleletterHenarezhasoutstrippedvolumesfromLovelaceorSaint-Preux。Hereistruelove，nobeatingaboutthebush。Lovemaybeoritmaynot，butwhereitis，itoughttorevealitselfinitsimmensity。
　　HereamI，shornofallmylittlearts!Torefuseoraccept!Thatisthealternativeboldlypresentedme，withouttheghostofanopeningforamiddlecourse。Nofencingallowed!ThisisnolongerParis；weareintheheartofSpainorthefarEast。ItisthevoiceofAbencerrage，anditisthescimitar，thehorse，andtheheadofAbencerragewhichheoffers，prostratebeforeaCatholicEve!ShallI
　　acceptthislastdescendantoftheMoors？ReadagainandagainhisHispano-Saracenicletter，Reneedear，andyouwillseehowlovemakesacleansweepofalltheJudaicbargainsofyourphilosophy。
　　Renee，yourletterliesheavyonmyheart；youhavevulgarizedlifeforme。WhatneedhaveIforfinessing？AmInotmistressforalltimeofthislionwhoseroardiesoutinplaintiveandadoringsighs？Ah!
　　howhemusthaveragedinhislairoftheRueHillerin-Bertin!Iknowwherehelives，Ihavehiscard：/F。，BarondeMacumer/。
　　Hehasmadeitimpossibleformetoreply。AllIcandoistoflingtwocamelliasinhisface。Whatfiendishartsdoeslovepossess——pure，honest，simple-mindedlove!Hereisthemosttremendouscrisisofawoman’sheartresolvedintoaneasy，simpleaction。Oh，Asia!Ihavereadthe/ArabianNights/，hereistheirveryessence：twoflowers，andthequestionissettled。Weclearthefourteenvolumesof/ClarissaHarlowe/withabouquet。Iwrithebeforethisletter，likeathreadinthefire。Totake，ornottotake，mytwocamellias。YesorNo，killorgivelife!Atlastavoicecriestome，“Testhim!“AndI
　　willtesthim。
　　Iamdressedinwhite——whitecamelliasinmyhair，andanotherinmyhand。Mymotherhasredcamellias；soitwouldnotbeimpossibletotakeonefromher——ifIwished!Ihaveastrangelongingtoputoffthedecisiontothelastmoment，andmakehimpayforhisredcamelliabyalittlesuspense。
　　Whatavisionofbeauty!Griffithbeggedmetostopforalittleandbeadmired。Thesolemncrisisoftheeveningandthedramaofmysecretreplyhavegivenmeacolor；oneachcheekIsportaredcamellialaiduponawhite!
　　1A。M。
　　Everybodyadmiredme，butonlyoneadored。HehunghisheadasI
　　enteredwithawhitecamellia，butturnedpaleastheflowerwhen，later，Itookaredonefrommymother’shand。Toarrivewiththetwoflowersmightpossiblyhavebeenaccidental；butthisdeliberateactionwasareply。Myconfession，therefore，isfullerthanitneedhavebeen。
　　Theoperawas/RomeoandJuliet/。Asyoudon’tknowtheduetofthetwolovers，youcan’tunderstandtheblissoftwoneophytesinlove，astheylistentothisdivineoutpouringoftheheart。
　　OnreturninghomeIwenttobed，butonlytocountthestepswhichresoundedonthesidewalk。Myheartandhead，darling，areallonfirenow。Whatishedoing？Whatishethinkingof？Hasheathought，asinglethought，thatisnotofme？Ishe，inverytruth，thedevotedslavehepaintedhimself？Howtobesure？Or，again，hasiteverenteredhisheadthat，ifIaccepthim，Ilaymyselfopentotheshadowofareproachoraminanysenserewardingorthankinghim？I
　　amharrowedbythehair-splittingcasuistryoftheheroinesin/Cyrus/
　　and/Astraea/，byallthesubtleargumentsofthecourtoflove。
　　Hasheanyideathat，inaffairsoflove，awoman’smosttriflingactionsarebuttheissueoflongbroodingandinnerconflicts，ofvictorieswononlytobelost!Whatarehisthoughtsatthismoment？
　　HowcanIgivehimmyorderstowriteeveryeveningtheparticularsofthedayjustgone？HeismyslavewhomIoughttokeepbusy。Ishalldelugehimwithwork!
　　SundayMorning。
　　OnlytowardsmorningdidIsleepalittle。Itismiddaynow。IhavejustgotGriffithtowritethefollowingletter：
　　“/TotheBarondeMacumer/。
　　“MademoiselledeChaulieubegsme，MonsieurleBaron，toaskyoutoreturntoherthecopyofaletterwrittentoherbyafriend，whichisinherownhandwriting，andwhichyoucarriedaway——
　　Believeme，etc。，“GRIFFITH。“
　　Mydear，Griffithhasgoneout；shehasgonetotheRueHillerin-
　　Bertin；shehadhandedinthislittlelove-letterformyslave，whoreturnedtomeinanenvelopemysweetportrait，stainedwithtears。
　　Hehasobeyed。Oh!mysweet，itmusthavebeendeartohim!Anothermanwouldhaverefusedtosenditinaletterfullofflattery；buttheSaracenhasfulfilledhispromises。Hehasobeyed。Itmovesmetotears。
　　Yesterdaytheweatherwassplendid。Idressedmyselflikeagirlwhowantstolookherbestinhersweetheart’seyes。Myfather，yieldingtomyentreaties，hasgivenmetheprettiestturnoutinParis——twodapple-grayhorsesandabarouche，whichisamasterpieceofelegance。
　　Iwasmakingafirsttrialofthis，andpeepedoutlikeaflowerfromundermysunshadelinedwithwhitesilk。
　　AsIdroveuptheavenueoftheChamps-Elysees，IsawmyAbencerrageapproachingonanextraordinarilybeautifulhorse。Almosteverymannowadaysisafinishedjockey，andtheyallstoppedtoadmireandinspectit。Hebowedtome，andonreceivingafriendlysignofencouragement，slackenedhishorse’spacesothatIwasabletosaytohim：
　　“Youarenotvexedwithmeforaskingformyletter；itwasnousetoyou。“Theninalowervoice，“Youhavealreadytranscendedtheideal……Yourhorsemakesyouanobjectofgeneralinterest，“Iwentonaloud。
　　“MystewardinSardiniasentittome。Heisveryproudofit；forthishorse，whichisofArabblood，wasborninmystables。“
　　Thismorning，mydear，HenarezwasonanEnglishsorrel，alsoveryfine，butnotsuchastoattractattention。Mylight，mockingwordshaddonetheirwork。HebowedtomeandIrepliedwithaslightinclinationofthehead。
　　TheDucd’AngoulemehasboughtMacumer’shorse。Myslaveunderstoodthathewasdesertingtheroleofsimplicitybyattractingthenoticeofthecrowd。Amanoughttoberemarkedforwhatheis，notforhishorse，oranythingelsebelongingtohim。Tohavetoobeautifulahorseseemstomeapieceofbadtaste，justasmuchaswearingahugediamondpin。Iwasdelightedatbeingabletofindfaultwithhim。
　　Perhapstheremayhavebeenatouchofvanityinwhathedid，veryexcusableinapoorexile，andIliketoseethischildishness。
　　Oh!mydearoldpreacher，domyloveaffairsamuseyouasmuchasyourdismalphilosophygivesmethecreeps？DearPhiliptheSecondinpetticoats，areyoucomfortableinmybarouche？Doyouseethosevelveteyes，humble，yetsoeloquent，andgloryingintheirservitude，whichflashonmeassomeonegoesby？Heisahero，Renee，andhewearsmylivery，andalwaysaredcamelliainhisbuttonhole，whileI
　　havealwaysawhiteoneinmyhand。
　　Howcleareverythingbecomesinthelightoflove!HowwellIknowmyParisnow!Itisalltransfusedwithmeaning。Andlovehereislovelier，grander，morebewitchingthanelsewhere。
　　IamconvincednowthatIcouldneverflirtwithafoolormakeanyimpressiononhim。Itisonlymenofrealdistinctionwhocanenterintoourfeelingsandfeelourinfluence。Oh!mypoorfriend，forgiveme。Iforgotourl’Estorade。Butdidn’tyoutellmeyouweregoingtomakeageniusofhim？Iknowwhatthatmeans。Youwilldrynursehimtillsomedayheisabletounderstandyou。
　　Good-bye。Iamalittleoffmyhead，andmuststop。