DearlyshouldIliketoknowwhowasthegiverofthisdaintyworkofart,whichwassuchafavoritewithher。HowoftenhaveIseentheoldlady,herfeetuponthebar,recliningintheeasy-chair,withherdresshalfraisedinfront,toyingwiththesnuff-box,whichlayupontheledgebetweenherboxofpastillesandhersilkmits。Whatacoquetteshewas!tothedayofherdeathshetookasmuchpainswithherappearanceasthoughthebeautifulportraithadbeenpaintedonlyyesterday,andshewerewaitingtoreceivethethrongofexquisitesfromtheCourt!Howthearmchairrecallstometheinimitablesweepofherskirtsasshesankbackinit!
Thesewomenofapastgenerationhavecarriedoffwiththemsecretswhichareverytypicaloftheirage。ThePrincesshadacertainturnofthehead,awayofdroppingherglanceandherremarks,achoiceofwords,whichIlookforinvain,eveninmymother。Therewassubtletyinitall,andtherewasgood-nature;thepointsweremadewithoutanyaffectation。Hertalkwasatoncelengthyandconcise;shetoldagoodstory,andcouldputhermeaninginthreewords。Aboveall,shewasextremelyfree-thinking,andthishasundoubtedlyhaditseffectonmywayoflookingatthings。
FromsevenyearsoldtillIwasten,Ineverleftherside;itpleasedhertoattractmeasmuchasitpleasedmetogo。Thispreferencewasthecauseofmorethanonepassageatarmsbetweenherandmymother,andnothingintensifiesfeelingliketheicybreathofpersecution。
Howcharmingwashergreeting,“Hereyouare,littlerogue!“whencuriosityhadtaughtmehowtoglidewithstealthysnake-likemovementstoherroom。ShefeltthatIlovedher,andthischildishaffectionwaswelcomeasarayofsunshineinthewinterofherlife。
Idon’tknowwhatwentoninherroomsatnight,butshehadmanyvisitors;andwhenIcameontiptoeinthemorningtoseeifshewereawake,Iwouldfindthedrawing-roomfurnituredisarranged,thecard-
tablessetout,andpatchesofsnuffscatteredabout。
Thisdrawing-roomisfurnishedinthesamestyleasthebedroom。Thechairsandtablesareoddlyshaped,withclawfeetandhollowmouldings。Richgarlandsofflowers,beautifullydesignedandcarved,windoverthemirrorsandhangdowninfestoons。Ontheconsolesarefinechinavases。Thegroundcolorsarescarletandwhite。Mygrandmotherwasahigh-spirited,strikingbrunette,asmightbeinferredfromherchoiceofcolors。Ihavefoundinthedrawing-roomawriting-tableIrememberwell;thefiguresonitusedtofascinateme;
itisplaitedingravensilver,andwasapresentfromoneoftheGenoeseLomellini。Eachsideofthetablerepresentstheoccupationsofadifferentseason;therearehundredsoffiguresineachpicture,andallinrelief。
Iremainedalonefortwohours,whileoldmemoriesrosebeforeme,oneafteranother,onthisspot,hallowedbythedeathofawomanmostremarkableevenamongthewittyandbeautifulCourtladiesofLouisXV。’sday。
YouknowhowabruptlyIwaspartedfromher,ataday’snotice,in1816。
“Goandbidgood-byetoyourgrandmother,“saidmymother。
ThePrincessreceivedmeasusual,withoutanydisplayoffeeling,andexpressednosurpriseatmydeparture。
“Youaregoingtotheconvent,dear,“shesaid,“andwillseeyourauntthere,whoisanexcellentwoman。Ishalltakecare,though,thattheydon’tmakeavictimofyou;youshallbeindependent,andabletomarrywhomyouplease。“
Sixmonthslatershedied。HerwillhadbeengivenintothekeepingofthePrincedeTalleyrand,themostdevotedofallheroldfriends。Hecontrived,whilepayingavisittoMlle。deChargeboeuf,tointimatetome,throughher,thatmygrandmotherforbademetotakethevows。I
hope,soonerorlater,tomeetthePrince,andthenIshalldoubtlesslearnmorefromhim。
Thus,sweetheart,ifIhavefoundnooneinfleshandbloodtomeetme,IhavecomfortedmyselfwiththeshadeofthedearPrincess,andhavepreparedmyselfforcarryingoutoneofourpledges,whichwas,asyouknow,tokeepeachotherinformedofthesmallestdetailsinourhomesandoccupations。Itmakessuchadifferencetoknowwhereandhowthelifeofoneweloveispassed。Sendmeafaithfulpictureoftheveriesttriflesaroundyou,omittingnothing,noteventhesunsetlightsamongthetalltrees。
October19th。
ItwasthreeintheafternoonwhenIarrived。Abouthalf-pastfive,Rosecameandtoldmethatmymotherhadreturned,soIwentdownstairstopaymyrespectstoher。
Mymotherlivesinasuiteonthegroundfloor,exactlycorrespondingtomine,andinthesameblock。Iamjustoverherhead,andthesamesecretstaircaseservesforboth。Myfather’sroomsareintheblockopposite,butarelargerbythewholeofthespaceoccupiedbythegrandstaircaseonoursideofthebuilding。Theseancestralmansionsaresospacious,thatmyfatherandmothercontinuetooccupytheground-floorrooms,inspiteofthesocialdutieswhichhaveoncemoredevolvedonthemwiththereturnoftheBourbons,andareevenabletoreceiveinthem。
Ifoundmymother,dressedfortheevening,inherdrawing-room,wherenothingischanged。Icameslowlydownthestairs,speculatingwitheverystephowIshouldbemetbythismotherwhohadshownherselfsolittleofamothertome,andfromwhom,duringeightyears,Ihadheardnothingbeyondthetwolettersofwhichyouknow。JudgingitunworthytosimulateanaffectionIcouldnotpossiblyfeel,Iputontheairofapiousimbecile,andenteredtheroomwithmanyinwardqualms,whichhoweversoondisappeared。Mymother’stackwasequaltotheoccasion。Shemadenopretenceofemotion;sheneitherheldmeatarm’s-lengthnorhuggedmetoherbosomlikeabeloveddaughter,butgreetedmeasthoughwehadpartedtheeveningbefore。Hermannerwasthatofthekindliestandmostsincerefriend,assheaddressedmelikeagrownperson,firstkissingmeontheforehead。
“Mydearlittleone,“shesaid,“ifyouweretodieattheconvent,itismuchbettertolivewithyourfamily。Youfrustrateyourfather’splansandmine;buttheageofblindobediencetoparentsispast。M。
deChaulieu’sintention,andinthisIamquiteatonewithhim,istolosenoopportunityofmakingyourlifepleasantandoflettingyouseetheworld。AtyourageIshouldhavethoughtasyoudo,thereforeIamnotvexedwithyou;itisimpossibleyoushouldunderstandwhatweexpectedfromyou。Youwillnotfindanyabsurdseverityinme;andifyouhaveeverthoughtmeheartless,youwillsoonfindoutyourmistake。Still,thoughIwishyoutofeelperfectlyfree,Ithinkthat,tobeginwith,youwoulddowelltofollowthecounselsofamother,whowishestobeasistertoyou。“
IwasquitecharmedbytheDuchess,whotalkedinagentlevoice,straighteningmyconventtippetasshespoke。Attheageofthirty-
eightsheisstillexquisitelybeautiful。Shehasdark-blueeyes,withsilkenlashes,asmoothforehead,andacomplexionsopinkandwhitethatyoumightthinkshepaints。Herbustandshouldersaremarvelous,andherwaistisasslenderasyours。Herhandismilk-whiteandextraordinarilybeautiful;thenailscatchthelightintheirperfectpolish,thethumbislikeivory,thelittlefingerstandsjustalittleapartfromtherest,andthefootmatchesthehand;itistheSpanishfootofMlle。deVandenesse。Ifsheislikethisatforty,atsixtyshewillstillbeabeautifulwoman。
Ireplied,sweetheart,likeagoodlittlegirl。Iwasasnicetoherasshetome,nay,nicer。Herbeautycompletelyvanquishedme;itseemedonlynaturalthatsuchawomanshouldbeabsorbedinherregalpart。ItoldherthisassimplyasthoughIhadbeentalkingtoyou。I
daresayitwasasurprisetohertohearwordsofaffectionfromherdaughter’smouth,andtheunfeignedhomageofmyadmirationevidentlytouchedherdeeply。Hermannerchangedandbecameevenmoreengaging;
shedroppedallformalityasshesaid:
“Iammuchpleasedwithyou,andIhopeweshallremaingoodfriends。“
Thewordsstruckmeascharminglynaive,butIdidnotletthisappear,forIsawatoncethattheprudentcoursewastoallowhertobelieveherselfmuchdeeperandclevererthanherdaughter。SoIonlystaredvacantlyandshewasdelighted。Ikissedherhandsrepeatedly,tellingherhowhappyitmademetobesotreatedandtofeelatmyeasewithher。Ievenconfidedtohermyprevioustremors。Shesmiled,putherarmroundmyneck,anddrawingmetowardsher,kissedmeontheforeheadmostaffectionately。
“Dearchild,“shesaid,“wehavepeoplecomingtodinnerto-day。
Perhapsyouwillagreewithmethatitisbetterforyounottomakeyourfirstappearanceinsocietytillyouhavebeeninthedressmaker’shands;so,afteryouhaveseenyourfatherandbrother,youcangoupstairsagain。“
Iassentedmostheartily。Mymother’sexquisitedresswasthefirstrevelationtomeoftheworldwhichourdreamshadpictured;butIdidnotfeeltheslightestdesiretorivalher。
Myfathernowentered,andtheDuchesspresentedmetohim。
Hebecameallatoncemostaffectionate,andplayedthefather’spartsowell,thatIcouldnotbutbelievehishearttobeinit。Takingmytwohandsinhis,andkissingthem,withmoreoftheloverthanthefatherinhismanner,hesaid:
“Sothisismyrebeldaughter!“
Andhedrewmetowardshim,withhisarmpassedtenderlyroundmywaist,whilehekissedmeonthecheeksandforehead。
“Thepleasurewithwhichweshallwatchyoursuccessinsocietywillatoneforthedisappointmentwefeltatyourchangeofvocation,“hesaid。Then,turningtomymother,“Doyouknowthatsheisgoingtoturnoutverypretty,andyouwillbeproudofhersomeday?——Hereisyourbrother,Rhetore——Alphonse,“hesaidtoafineyoungmanwhocamein,“hereisyourconvent-bredsister,whothreatenstosendhernun’sfrocktothedeuce。“
Mybrothercameupinaleisurelywayandtookmyhand,whichhepressed。
“Come,come,youmaykissher,“saidmyfather。
Andhekissedmeonbothcheeks。
“Iamdelightedtoseeyou,“hesaid,“andItakeyoursideagainstmyfather。“
Ithankedhim,butcouldnothelpthinkinghemighthavecometoBloiswhenhewasatOrleansvisitingourMarquisbrotherinhisquarters。
Fearingthearrivalofstrangers,Inowwithdrew。Itidiedupmyrooms,andlaidoutonthescarletvelvetofmylovelytableallthematerialsnecessaryforwritingtoyou,meditatingallthewhileonmynewsituation。
This,myfairsweetheart,isatrueandveraciousaccountofthereturnofagirlofeighteen,afteranabsenceofnineyears,tothebosomofoneofthenoblestfamiliesinthekingdom。IwastiredbythejourneyaswellasbyalltheemotionsIhadbeenthrough,soI
wenttobedinconventfashion,ateighto’clockaftersupper。TheyhavepreservedevenalittleSaxeservicewhichthedearPrincessusedwhenshehadafancyfortakinghermealsalone。
NextdayIfoundmyroomsdoneoutanddusted,andevenflowersputinthevases,byoldPhilippe。Ibegantofeelathome。Onlyitdidn’toccurtoanybodythataCarmeliteschoolgirlhasanearlyappetite,andRosehadnoendoftroubleingettingbreakfastforme。
“Mlle。goestobedatdinner-time,“shesaidtome,“andgetsupwhentheDukeisjustreturninghome。“
Ibegantowrite。Aboutoneo’clockmyfatherknockedatthedoorofthesmalldrawing-roomandaskedifhemightcomein。Iopenedthedoor;hecamein,andfoundmewritingtoyou。
“Mydear,“hebegan,“youwillhavetogetyourselfclothes,andtomaketheseroomscomfortable。Inthispurseyouwillfindtwelvethousandfrancs,whichistheyearlyincomeIpurposeallowingyouforyourexpenses。Youwillmakearrangementswithyourmotherastosomegovernesswhomyoumaylike,incaseMissGriffithdoesn’tpleaseyou,forMme。deChaulieuwillnothavetimetogooutwithyouinthemornings。Acarriageandman-servantshallbeatyourdisposal。“
“LetmekeepPhilippe,“Isaid。