首页 >出版文学> LADY CHATTERLEY’S LOVER>第37章
  `Idoubtyoucan’t,’herepliedeasily。
  Theytrampedinridiculousfiledownthelaneagain,insilence。Anowlstillhooted。Heknewheoughttoshootit。
  Thecarstooduntouched,alittledewy。Hildagotinandstartedtheengine。Theothertwowaited。
  `AllImean,’shesaidfromherentrenchment,`isthatIdoubtifyou’llfindit’sbeenworthit,eitherofyou!’
  `Oneman’smeatisanotherman’spoison,’hesaid,outofthedarkness。
  `Butit’smeatan’drinktome。
  Thelightsflaredout。
  `Don’tmakemewaitinthemorning,’
  `No,Iwon’t。Goodnight!’
  Thecarroseslowlyontothehighroad,thenslidswiftlyaway,leavingthenightsilent。
  Connietimidlytookhisarm,andtheywentdownthelane。Hedidnotspeak。Atlengthshedrewhimtoastandstill。
  `Kissme!’shemurmured。
  `Nay,waitabit!Letmesimmerdown,’hesaid。
  Thatamusedher。Shestillkeptholdofhisarm,andtheywentquicklydownthelane,insilence。Shewassogladtobewithhim,justnow。Sheshivered,knowingthatHildamighthavesnatchedheraway。Hewasinscrutablysilent。
  Whentheywereinthecottageagain,shealmostjumpedwithpleasure,thatsheshouldbefreeofhersister。
  `ButyouwerehorridtoHilda,’shesaidtohim。
  `Sheshouldha’beenslappedintime。’
  `Butwhy?andshe’ssonice。’
  Hedidn’tanswer,wentrounddoingtheeveningchores,withaquiet,inevitablesortofmotion。Hewasoutwardlyangry,butnotwithher。SoConniefelt。Andhisangergavehimapeculiarhandsomeness,aninwardnessandglistenthatthrilledherandmadeherlimbsgomolten。
  Stillhetooknonoticeofher。
  Tillhesatdownandbegantounlacehisboots。Thenhelookedupatherfromunderhisbrows,onwhichtheangerstillsatfirm。
  `Shan’tyougoup?’hesaid。`There’sacandle!’
  Hejerkedhisheadswiftlytoindicatethecandleburningonthetable。
  Shetookitobediently,andhewatchedthefullcurveofherhipsasshewentupthefirststairs。
  Itwasanightofsensualpassion,inwhichshewasalittlestartledandalmostunwilling:yetpiercedagainwithpiercingthrillsofsensuality,different,sharper,moreterriblethanthethrillsoftenderness,but,atthemoment,moredesirable。Thoughalittlefrightened,shelethimhavehisway,andthereckless,shamelesssensualityshookhertoherfoundations,strippedhertotheverylast,andmadeadifferentwomanofher。Itwasnotreallylove。Itwasnotvoluptuousness。Itwassensualitysharpandsearingasfire,burningthesoultotinder。
  Burningouttheshames,thedeepest,oldestshames,inthemostsecretplaces。Itcostheranefforttolethimhavehiswayandhiswillofher。
  Shehadtobeapassive,consentingthing,likeaslave,aphysicalslave。
  Yetthepassionlickedroundher,consuming,andwhenthesensualflameofitpressedthroughherbowelsandbreast,shereallythoughtshewasdying:yetapoignant,marvellousdeath。
  ShehadoftenwonderedwhatAbé;lardmeant,whenhesaidthatintheiryearofloveheandHé;loï;sehadpassedthroughallthestagesandrefinementsofpassion。Thesamething,athousandyearsago:tenthousandyearsago!ThesameontheGreekvases,everywhere!Therefinementsofpassion,theextravagancesofsensuality!Andnecessary,forevernecessary,toburnoutfalseshamesandsmeltouttheheaviestoreofthebodyintopurity。Withthefireofsheersensuality。
  Intheshortsummernightshelearntsomuch。Shewouldhavethoughtawomanwouldhavediedofshame。Insteadofwhich,theshamedied。Shame,whichisfear:thedeepOrganicshame,theold,oldphysicalfearwhichcrouchesinthebodilyrootsofus,andcanonlybechasedawaybythesensualfire,atlastitwasrousedupandroutedbythephallichuntoftheman,andshecametotheveryheartofthejungleofherself。Shefelt,now,shehadcometotherealbed-rockofhernature,andwasessentiallyshameless。Shewashersensualself,nakedandunashamed。Shefeltatriumph,almostavainglory。So!Thatwashowitwas!Thatwaslife!Thatwashowoneselfreallywas!Therewasnothinglefttodisguiseorbeashamedof。
  Shesharedherultimatenakednesswithaman,anotherbeing。
  Andwhatarecklessdevilthemanwas!reallylikeadevil!Onehadtobestrongtobearhim。Butittooksomegettingat,thecoreofthephysicaljungle,thelastanddeepestrecessoforganicshame。Thephallosalonecouldexploreit。Andhowhehadpressedinonher!
  Andhow,infear,shehadhatedit。Buthowshehadreallywantedit!
  Sheknewnow。Atthebottomofhersoul,fundamentally,shehadneededthisphallichuntingOut,shehadsecretlywantedit,andshehadbelievedthatshewouldnevergetit。Nowsuddenlythereitwas,andamanwassharingherlastandfinalnakedness,shewasshameless。
  Whatliarspoetsandeverybodywere!Theymadeonethinkonewantedsentiment。Whenwhatonesupremelywantedwasthispiercing,consuming,ratherawfulsensuality。Tofindamanwhodareddoit,withoutshameorsinorfinalmisgiving!Ifhehadbeenashamedafterwards,andmadeonefeelashamed,howawful!Whatapitymostmenaresodoggy,abitshameful,likeClifford!LikeMichaeliseven!Bothsensuallyabitdoggyandhumiliating。
  Thesupremepleasureofthemind!Andwhatisthattoawoman?Whatisit,really,tothemaneither!Hebecomesmerelymessyanddoggy,eveninhismind。Itneedssheersensualityeventopurifyandquickenthemind。
  Sheerfierysensuality,notmessiness。
  Ah,God,howrareathingamanis!Theyarealldogsthattrotandsniffandcopulate。Tohavefoundamanwhowasnotafraidandnotashamed!
  Shelookedathimnow,sleepingsolikeawildanimalasleep,gone,goneintheremotenessofit。Shenestleddown,nottobeawayfromhim。
  Tillhisrousingwakedhercompletely。Hewassittingupinbed,lookingdownather。Shesawherownnakednessinhiseyes,immediateknowledgeofher。Andthefluid,maleknowledgeofherselfseemedtoflowtoherfromhiseyesandwraphervoluptuously。Oh,howvoluptuousandlovelyitwastohavelimbsandbodyhalf-asleep,heavyandsuffusedwithpassion。
  `Isittimetowakeup?’shesaid。
  `Halfpastsix。’
  Shehadtobeatthelane-endateight。Always,always,alwaysthiscompulsiononone!
  `Imightmakethebreakfastandbringituphere;shouldI?’hesaid。
  `Ohyes!’
  Flossiewhimperedgentlybelow。Hegotupandthrewoffhispyjamas,andrubbedhimselfwithatowel。Whenthehumanbeingisfullofcourageandfulloflife,howbeautifulitis!Soshethought,asshewatchedhiminsilence。
  `Drawthecurtain,willyou?’
  Thesunwasshiningalreadyonthetendergreenleavesofmorning,andthewoodstoodbluey-fresh,inthenearness。Shesatupinbed,lookingdreamilyoutthroughthedormerwindow,hernakedarmspushinghernakedbreaststogether。Hewasdressinghimself。Shewashalf-dreamingoflife,alifetogetherwithhim:justalife。
  Hewasgoing,fleeingfromherdangerous,crouchingnakedness。
  `HaveIlostmynightiealtogether?’shesaid。
  Hepushedhishanddowninthebed,andpulledoutthebitofflimsysilk。
  `IknowedIfeltsilkatmyankles,’hesaid。
  Butthenight-dresswasslitalmostintwo。
  `Nevermind!’shesaid。`Itbelongshere,really。I’llleaveit。’
  `Ay,leaveit,Icanputitbetweenmylegsatnight,forcompany。There’snonamenormarkonit,isthere?’
  Sheslippedonthetornthing,andsatdreamilylookingoutofthewindow。
  ThewindowwasOpen,theairofmorningdriftedin,andthesoundofbirds。
  Birdsflewcontinuouslypast。ThenshesawFlossieroamingout。Itwasmorning。
  Downstairssheheardhimmakingthefire,pumpingwater,goingoutatthebackdoor。Byandbycamethesmellofbacon,andatlengthhecameupstairswithahugeblacktraythatwouldonlyjustgothroughthedoor。
  Hesetthetrayonthebed,andpouredoutthetea。Conniesquattedinhertornnightdress,andfellonherfoodhungrily。Hesatontheonechair,withhisplateonhisknees。
  `Howgooditis!’shesaid。`Hownicetohavebreakfasttogether。’
  Heateinsilence,hismindonthetimethatwasquicklypassing。Thatmadeherremember。
  `Oh,howIwishIcouldstayherewithyou,andWragbywereamillionmilesaway!It’sWragbyI’mgoingawayfromreally。Youknowthat,don’tyou?’
  `Ay!’
  `Andyoupromisewewilllivetogetherandhavealifetogether,youandme!Youpromiseme,don’tyou?’
  `Ay!Whenwecan。’
  `Yes!Andwewill!wewill,won’twe?’sheleanedover,makingtheteaspill,catchinghiswrist。
  `Ay!’hesaid,tidyingupthetea。
  `Wecan’tpossiblynotlivetogethernow,canwe?’shesaidappealingly。
  Helookedupatherwithhisflickeringgrin。
  `No!’hesaid。`Onlyyou’vegottostartintwenty-fiveminutes。’
  `HaveI?’shecried。Suddenlyheheldupawarningfinger,androsetohisfeet。
  Flossiehadgivenashortbark,thenthreeloudsharpyapsofwarning。
  Silent,heputhisplateonthetrayandwentdownstairs。Constanceheardhimgodownthegardenpath。Abicyclebelltinkledoutsidethere。
  `Morning,MrMellors!Registeredletter!’
  `Ohay!Gotapencil?’
  `Herey’are!’
  Therewasapause。
  `Canada!’saidthestranger’svoice。
  `Ay!That’samateo’mineoutthereinBritishColumbia。Dunnowhathe’sgottoregister。’
  `’Appensenty’afortune,like。’
  `Morelikewantssummat。’
  Pause。
  `Well!Lovelydayagain!’
  `Ay!’
  `Morning!’
  `Morning!’
  Afteratimehecameupstairsagain,lookingalittleangry。
  `Postman,’hesaid。
  `Veryearly!’shereplied。
  `Ruralround;he’smostlyherebyseven,whenhedoescome。
  `Didyourmatesendyouafortune?’
  `No!OnlysomephotographsandpapersaboutaplaceoutthereinBritishColumbia。’
  `Wouldyougothere?’
  `Ithoughtperhapswemight。’
  `Ohyes!Ibelieveit’slovely!’Buthewasputoutbythepostman’scoming。
  `Themdamnbikes,they’reonyouaforeyouknowwhereyouare。Ihopehetwiggednothing。’
  `Afterall,whatcouldhetwig!’
  `Youmustgetupnow,andgetready。I’mjustgoin’terlookroundoutside。’
  Shesawhimgoreconnoitringintothelane,withdogandgun。Shewentdownstairsandwashed,andwasreadybythetimehecameback,withthefewthingsinthelittlesilkbag。
  Helockedup,andtheysetoff,butthroughthewood,notdownthelane。
  Hewasbeingwary。
  `Don’tyouthinkonelivesfortimeslikelastnight?’shesaidtohim。
  `Ay!Butthere’stheresto’timestothinkon,’hereplied,rathershort。
  Theyploddedondowntheovergrownpath,heinfront,insilence。
  `Andwewilllivetogetherandmakealifetogether,won’twe?’
  shepleaded。
  `Ay!’hereplied,stridingonwithoutlookinground。`Whent’timecomes!
  Justnowyou’reofftoVeniceorsomewhere。’
  Shefollowedhimdumbly,withsinkingheart。Oh,nowshewaswaetogo!
  Atlasthestopped。
  `I’lljuststrikeacrosshere,’hesaid,pointingtotheright。
  Butsheflungherarmsroundhisneck,andclungtohim。
  `Butyou’llkeepthetendernessforme,won’tyou?’shewhispered。`I
  lovedlastnight。Butyou’llkeepthetendernessforme,won’tyou?’
  Hekissedherandheldhercloseforamoment。Thenhesighed,andkissedheragain。
  `Imustgoan’lookifth’car’sthere。’
  Hestrodeoverthelowbramblesandbracken,leavingatrailthroughthefern。Foraminuteortwohewasgone。Thenhecamestridingback。
  `Car’snotthereyet,’hesaid。`Butthere’sthebaker’scartont’
  road。’
  Heseemedanxiousandtroubled。
  `Hark!’
  Theyheardacarsoftlyhootasitcamenearer。Itsloweduponthebridge。
  Sheplungedwithuttermournfulnessinhistrackthroughthefern,andcametoahugehollyhedge。Hewasjustbehindher。
  `Here!Gothroughthere!’hesaid,pointingtoagap。`Ishan’tcomeout。
  Shelookedathimindespair。Buthekissedherandmadehergo。Shecreptinsheermiserythroughthehollyandthroughthewoodenfence,stumbleddownthelittleditchandupintothelane,whereHildawasjustgettingoutofthecarinvexation。
  `Whyyou’rethere!’saidHilda。`Where’she?’
  `He’snotcoming。’
  Connie’sfacewasrunningwithtearsasshegotintothecarwithherlittlebag。Hildasnatchedupthemotoringhelmetwiththedisfiguringgoggles。
  `Putiton!’shesaid。AndConniepulledonthedisguise,thenthelongmotoringcoat,andshesatdown,agogglinginhuman,unrecognizablecreature。
  Hildastartedthecarwithabusinesslikemotion。Theyheavedoutofthelane,andwereawaydowntheroad。Conniehadlookedround,buttherewasnosightofhim。Away!Away!Shesatinbittertears。Thepartinghadcomesosuddenly,sounexpectedly。Itwaslikedeath。
  `Thankgoodnessyou’llbeawayfromhimforsometime!’saidHilda,turningtoavoidCrosshillvillage。