首页 >出版文学> LADY CHATTERLEY’S LOVER>第36章
  Onthestrengthofheranger,HildawarmedtowardClifford。
  Afterall,hehadamind。Andifhehadnosex,functionally,allthebetter:somuchthelesstoquarrelabout!Hildawantednomoreofthatsexbusiness,wheremenbecamenasty,selfishlittlehorrors。Conniereallyhadlesstoputupwiththanmanywomenifshedidbutknowit。
  AndClifforddecidedthatHilda,afterall,wasadecidedlyintelligentwoman,andwouldmakeamanafirst-ratehelpmate,ifheweregoinginforpoliticsforexample。Yes,shehadnoneofConnie’ssilliness,Conniewasmoreachild:youhadtomakeexcusesforher,becauseshewasnotaltogetherdependable。
  Therewasanearlycupofteainthehall,wheredoorswereopentoletinthesun。Everybodyseemedtobepantingalittle。
  `Good-bye,Conniegirl!Comebacktomesafely。’
  `Good-bye,Clifford!Yes,Ishan’tbelong。’Conniewasalmosttender。
  `Good-bye,Hilda!Youwillkeepaneyeonher,won’tyou?’
  `I’llevenkeeptwo!’saidHilda。`Sheshan’tgoveryfarastray。’
  `It’sapromise!’
  `Good-bye,MrsBolton!Iknowyou’lllookafterSirCliffordnobly。’
  `I’lldowhatIcan,yourLadyship。’
  `Andwritetomeifthereisanynews,andtellmeaboutSirClifford,howheis。’
  `Verygood,yourLadyship,Iwill。Andhaveagoodtime,andcomebackandcheerusup。’
  Everybodywaved。ThecarwentoffConnielookedbackandsawClifford,sittingatthetopofthestepsinhishouse-chair。Afterall,hewasherhusband:Wragbywasherhome:circumstancehaddoneit。
  MrsChambersheldthegateandwishedherladyshipahappyholiday。
  Thecarslippedoutofthedarkspinneythatmaskedthepark,ontothehighroadwherethecolliersweretrailinghome。HildaturnedtotheCrosshillRoad,thatwasnotamainroad,butrantoMansfield。Connieputongoggles。
  Theyranbesidetherailway,whichwasinacuttingbelowthem。Thentheycrossedthecuttingonabridge。
  `That’sthelanetothecottage!’saidConnie。
  Hildaglancedatitimpatiently。
  `It’safrightfulpitywecan’tgostraightoff!’shesaid。WecouldhavebeeninPallMallbynineo’clock。’
  `I’msorryforyoursake,’saidConnie,frombehindhergoggles。
  TheyweresoonatMansfield,thatonce-romantic,nowutterlydishearteningcollierytown。Hildastoppedatthehotelnamedinthemotor-carbook,andtookaroom。Thewholethingwasutterlyuninteresting,andshewasalmosttooangrytotalk。However,Conniehadtotellhersomethingoftheman’shistory。
  `He!He!Whatnamedoyoucallhimby?Youonlysayhe,’
  saidHilda。
  `I’venevercalledhimbyanyname:norheme:whichiscurious,whenyoucometothinkofit。UnlesswesayLadyJaneandJohnThomas。ButhisnameisOliverMellors。’
  `AndhowwouldyouliketobeMrsOliverMellors,insteadofLadyChatterley?’
  `I’dloveit。’
  TherewasnothingtobedonewithConnie。Andanyhow,ifthemanhadbeenalieutenantinthearmyinIndiaforfourorfiveyears,hemustbemoreorlesspresentable。Apparentlyhehadcharacter。Hildabegantorelentalittle。
  `Butyou’llbethroughwithhiminawhile,’shesaid,`andthenyou’llbeashamedofhavingbeenconnectedwithhim。Onecan’tmixupwiththeworkingpeople。’
  `Butyouaresuchasocialist!you’realwaysonthesideoftheworkingclasses。’
  `Imaybeontheirsideinapoliticalcrisis,butbeingontheirsidemakesmeknowhowimpossibleitistomixone’slifewiththeirs。Notoutofsnobbery,butjustbecausethewholerhythmisdifferent。’
  Hildahadlivedamongtherealpoliticalintellectuals,soshewasdisastrouslyunanswerable。
  Thenondescripteveninginthehoteldraggedout,andatlasttheyhadanondescriptdinner。ThenConnieslippedafewthingsintoalittlesilkbag,andcombedherhaironcemore。
  `Afterall,Hilda,’shesaid,`lovecanbewonderful:whenyoufeelyoulive,andareintheverymiddleofcreation。’Itwasalmostlikebraggingonherpart。
  `Isupposeeverymosquitofeelsthesame,’saidHilda。`Doyouthinkitdoes?Howniceforit!’
  Theeveningwaswonderfullyclearandlong-lingering,eveninthesmalltown。Itwouldbehalf-lightallnight。Withafacelikeamask,fromresentment,Hildastartedhercaragain,andthetwospedbackontheirtraces,takingtheotherroad,throughBolsover。
  Connieworehergogglesanddisguisingcap,andshesatinsilence。
  BecauseofHilda’sOpposition,shewasfiercelyonthesidleoftheman,shewouldstandbyhimthroughthickandthin。
  Theyhadtheirhead-lightson,bythetimetheypassedCrosshill,andthesmalllit-uptrainthatchuffedpastinthecuttingmadeitseemlikerealnight。Hildahadcalculatedtheturnintothelaneatthebridge-end。
  Shesloweduprathersuddenlyandswervedofftheroad,thelightsglaringwhiteintothegrassy,overgrownlane。Connielookedout。Shesawashadowyfigure,andsheopenedthedoor。
  `Hereweare!’shesaidsoftly。
  ButHildahadswitchedoffthelights,andwasabsorbedbacking,makingtheturn。
  `Nothingonthebridge?’sheaskedshortly。`You’reallright,’saidthemall’svoice。Shebackedontothebridge,reversed,letthecarrunforwardsafewyardsalongtheroad,thenbackedintothelane,underawych-elmtree,crushingthegrassandbracken。Thenallthelightswentout。Conniesteppeddown。Themanstoodunderthetrees。
  `Didyouwaitlong?’Connieasked。
  `Notsovery,’hereplied。
  TheybothwaitedforHildatogetout。ButHildashutthedoorofthecarandsattight。
  `ThisismysisterHilda。Won’tyoucomeandspeaktoher?Hilda!ThisisMrMellors。’
  Thekeeperliftedhishat,butwentnonearer。
  `Dowalkdowntothecottagewithus,Hilda,’Conniepleaded。`It’snotfar。’
  `Whataboutthecar?’
  `Peopledoleavethemonthelanes。Youhavethekey。’
  Hildawassilent,deliberating。Thenshelookedbackwardsdownthelane。
  `CanIbackroundthebush?’shesaid。
  `Ohyes!’saidthekeeper。
  Shebackedslowlyroundthecurve,outofsightoftheroad,lockedthecar,andgotdown。Itwasnight,butluminousdark。Thehedgesrosehighandwild,bytheunusedlane,andverydarkseeming。Therewasafreshsweetscentontheair。Thekeeperwentahead,thencameConnie,thenHilda,andinsilence。Helitupthedifficultplaceswithaflash-lighttorch,andtheywentonagain,whileanowlsoftlyhootedovertheoaks,andFlossiepaddedsilentlyaround。Nobodycouldspeak。Therewasnothingtosay。
  AtlengthConniesawtheyellowlightofthehouse,andherheartbeatfast。Shewasalittlefrightened。Theytrailedon,stillinIndianfile。
  Heunlockedthedoorandprecededthemintothewarmbutbarelittleroom。Thefireburnedlowandredinthegrate。Thetablewassetwithtwoplatesandtwoglassesonaproperwhitetable-clothforOnce。Hildashookherhairandlookedroundthebare,cheerlessroom。Thenshesummonedhercourageandlookedattheman。
  Hewasmoderatelytall,andthin,andshethoughthimgood-looking。
  Hekeptaquietdistanceofhisown,andseemedabsolutelyunwillingtospeak。
  `Dositdown,Hilda,’saidConnie。
  `Do!’hesaid。`CanImakeyouteaoranything,orwillyoudrinkaglassofbeer?It’smoderatelycool。’
  `Beer!’saidConnie。
  `Beerforme,please!’saidHilda,withamocksortofshyness。Helookedatherandblinked。
  Hetookabluejugandtrampedtothescullery。Whenhecamebackwiththebeer,hisfacehadchangedagain。
  Conniesatdownbythedoor,andHildasatinhisseat,withthebacktothewall,againstthewindowcorner。
  `Thatishischair,’saidConniesoftly。’AndHildaroseasifithadburnther。
  `Sityerstill,sityerstill!Ta’eonycheerasyo’namindto,noneofusisth’bigbear,’hesaid,withcompleteequanimity。
  AndhebroughtHildaaglass,andpouredherbeerfirstfromthebluejug。
  `Asforcigarettes,’hesaid,`I’vegotnone,but’appenyou’vegotyourown。Idunnasmoke,mysen。Shally’eatsummat?’HeturneddirecttoConnie。`Shallt’eatasmiteo’summat,ifIbringitthee?Thacanusuallydowi’abite。’Hespokethevernacularwithacuriouscalmassurance,asifhewerethelandlordoftheInn。
  `Whatisthere?’askedConnie,flushing。
  `Boiledham,cheese,pickledwa’nuts,ifyerlike——Nowtmuch。’
  `Yes,’saidConnie。`Won’tyou,Hilda?’
  Hildalookedupathim。
  `WhydoyouspeakYorkshire?’shesaidsoftly。
  `That!That’snonYorkshire,that’sDerby。’
  Helookedbackatherwiththatfaint,distantgrin。
  `Derby,then!WhydoyouspeakDerby?YouspokenaturalEnglishatfirst。’
  `DidAhthough?An’cannaAhchangeifAh’mamindto’t?Nay,nay,letmetalkDerbyifitsuitsme。Ifyo’nnowtagainstit。’
  `Itsoundsalittleaffected,’saidHilda。
  `Ay,’appenso!An’upi’Tevershallyo’dsoundaffected。’Helookedagainather,withaqueercalculatingdistance,alonghischeek-bone:
  asiftosay:Yi,an’whoareyou?
  Hetrampedawaytothepantryforthefood。
  Thesisterssatinsilence。Hebroughtanotherplate,andknifeandfork。Thehesaid:
  `An’ifit’sthesametoyou,Is’llta’emycoatofflikeIallersdo。’
  Andhetookoffhiscoat,andhungitonthepeg,thensatdowntotableinhisshirt-sleeves:ashirtofthin,cream-colouredflannel。
  `’Elpyerselves!’hesaid。`’Elpyerselves!Dunnawaitf’raxin’!’Hecutthebread,thensatmotionless。Hildafelt,asConnieonceusedto,hispowerofsilenceanddistance。Shesawhissmallish,sensitive,loosehandonthetable。Hewasnosimpleworkingman,nothe:hewasacting!
  acting!
  `Still!’shesaid,asshetookalittlecheese。`ItwouldbemorenaturalifyouspoketousinnormalEnglish,notinvernacular。’
  Helookedather,feelingherdevilofawill。
  `Wouldit?’hesaidinthenormalEnglish。`Wouldit?Wouldanythingthatwassaidbetweenyouandmebequitenatural,unlessyousaidyouwishedmetohellbeforeyoursistereversawmeagain:andunlessIsaidsomethingalmostasunpleasantbackagain?Wouldanythingelsebenatural?’
  `Ohyes!’saidHilda。`Justgoodmannerswouldbequitenatural。’
  `Secondnature,sotospeak!’hesaid:thenhebegantolaugh。`Nay,’
  hesaid。`I’mwearyo’manners。Letmebe!’
  Hildawasfranklybaffledandfuriouslyannoyed。Afterall,hemightshowthatherealizedhewasbeinghonoured。Insteadofwhich,withhisplay-actingandlordlyairs,heseemedtothinkitwashewhowasconferringthehonour。Justimpudence!PoormisguidedConnie,intheman’sclutches!
  Thethreeateinsilence。Hildalookedtoseewhathistable-mannerswerelike。Shecouldnothelprealizingthathewasinstinctivelymuchmoredelicateandwell-bredthanherself。ShehadacertainScottishclumsiness。
  Andmoreover,hehadallthequietself-containedassuranceoftheEnglish,nolooseedges。Itwouldbeverydifficulttogetthebetterofhim。
  Butneitherwouldhegetthebetterofher。
  `Anddoyoureallythink,’shesaid,alittlemorehumanly,`it’sworththerisk。’
  `Iswhatworthwhatrisk?’
  `Thisescapadewithmysister。’
  Heflickeredhisirritatinggrin。
  `Yo’maunax’er!’ThenhelookedatConnie。
  `Thacomeso’thineownaccord,lass,doesn’tter?It’snonmeasforcesthee?’
  ConnielookedatHilda。
  `Iwishyouwouldn’tcavil,Hilda。’
  `NaturallyIdon’twantto。Butsomeonehastothinkaboutthings。You’vegottohavesomesortofcontinuityinyourlife。Youcan’tjustgomakingamess。’
  Therewasamoment’spause。
  `Eh,continuity!’hesaid。`An’whatbythat?Whatcontinuityaveyergoti’yourlife?Ithoughtyouwasgettin’divorced。Whatcontinuity’sthat?Continuityo’yerownstubbornness。Icanseethatmuch。An’whatgood’sitgoin’todoyer?You’llbesicko’yercontinuityaforeyerafatsightolder。Astubbornwomananerownself-will:ay,theymakeafastcontinuity,theydo。Thankheaven,itisn’tmeas`asgotth’’andlin’
  ofyer!’
  `Whatrighthaveyoutospeaklikethattome?’saidHilda。
  `Right!Whatrightha’yo’terstartharnessin’otherfolksi’yourcontinuity?Leavefolkstotheirowncontinuities。’
  `Mydearman,doyouthinkIamconcernedwithyou?’saidHildasoftly。
  `Ay,’hesaid。`Yo’are。Forit’saforce-put。Yo’moreorlessmysister-in-law。’
  `Stillfarfromit,Iassureyou。
  `Nota’thatfar,Iassureyou。I’vegotmyownsorto’continuity,backyourlife!Goodasyours,anyday。An’ifyoursistertherecomestermeforabito’cuntan’tenderness,sheknowswhatshe’safter。She’sbeeninmybedafore:whichyou’aven’t,thanktheLord,withyourcontinuity。’
  Therewasadeadpause,beforeheadded:`——Eh,Idon’twearmebreechesarse-forrards。An’ifIgetawindfall,Ithankmystars。Amangetsalotofenjoymentouto’thatlasstheer,whichismorethananybodygetsouto’th’likeso’you。Whichisapity,foryoumightappena’binagoodapple,’steadofahandsomecrab。Womenlikeyouneedspropergraftin’。’
  Hewaslookingatherwithanodd,flickeringsmile,faintlysensualandappreciative。
  `Andmenlikeyou,’shesaid,`oughttobesegregated:justifyingtheirownvulgarityandselfishlust。’
  `Ay,ma’am!It’samercythere’safewmenleftlikeme。Butyoudeservewhatyouget:tobeleftseverelyalone。’
  Hildahadrisenandgonetothedoor。Heroseandtookhiscoatfromthepeg。
  `Icanfindmywayquitewellalone,’shesaid。