`Andthepeoplewhoseeyou？’
　　`I’llweargogglesandaveil。’
　　Heponderedforsometime。
　　`Well，’hesaid。`Youpleaseyourselfasusual。’
　　`Butwouldn’titpleaseyou？’
　　`Ohyes!It’dpleasemeallright，’hesaidalittlegrimly。`Imightaswellsmitewhiletheiron’shot。’
　　`DoyouknowwhatIthought？’shesaidsuddenly。`Itsuddenlycametome。Youarethe“KnightoftheBurningPestle“!’
　　`Ay!Andyou？AreyoutheLadyoftheRed-HotMortar？’
　　`Yes!’shesaid。`Yes!You’reSirPestleandI’mLadyMortar。’
　　`Allright，thenI’mknighted。JohnThomasisSirJohn，toyourLadyJane。’
　　`Yes!JohnThomasisknighted!I’mmy-lady-maiden-hair，andyoumusthaveflowerstoo。Yes!’
　　Shethreadedtwopinkcampionsinthebushofred-goldhairabovehispenis。
　　`There!’shesaid。`Charming!Charming!SirJohn!’
　　Andshepushedabitofforget-me-notinthedarkhairofhisbreast。
　　`Andyouwon’tforgetmethere，willyou？’Shekissedhimonthebreast，andmadetwobitsofforget-me-notlodgeoneovereachnipple，kissinghimagain。
　　`Makeacalendarofme!’hesaid。Helaughed，andtheflowersshookfromhisbreast。
　　`Waitabit!’hesaid。
　　Herose，andopenedthedoorofthehut。Flossie，lyingintheporch，gotupandlookedathim。
　　`Ay，it’sme!’hesaid。
　　Therainhadceased。Therewasawet，heavy，perfumedstillness。Eveningwasapproaching。
　　Hewentoutanddownthelittlepathintheoppositedirectionfromtheriding。Conniewatchedhisthin，whitefigure，anditlookedtoherlikeaghost，anapparitionmovingawayfromher。
　　Whenshecouldseeitnomore，herheartsank。Shestoodinthedoorofthehut，withablanketroundher，lookingintothedrenched，motionlesssilence。
　　Buthewascomingback，trottingstrangely，andcarryingflowers。Shewasalittleafraidofhim，asifhewerenotquitehuman。Andwhenhecamenear，hiseyeslookedintohers，butshecouldnotunderstandthemeaning。
　　Hehadbroughtcolumbinesandcampions，andnew-mownhay，andoak-tuftsandhoneysuckleinsmallbud。Hefastenedfluffyyoungoak-spraysroundherbreasts，stickingintuftsofbluebellsandcampion：andinhernavelhepoisedapinkcampionflower，andinhermaiden-hairwereforget-me-notsandwoodruff。
　　`That’syouinallyourglory!’hesaid。`LadyJane，atherweddingwithJohnThomas。’
　　Andhestuckflowersinthehairofhisownbody，andwoundabitofcreeping-jennyroundhispenis，andstuckasinglebellofahyacinthinhisnavel。Shewatchedhimwithamusement，hisoddintentness。Andshepushedacampionflowerinhismoustache，whereitstuck，danglingunderhisnose。
　　`ThisisJohnThomasmarryin’LadyJane，’hesaid。`An’wemunletConstancean’Olivergotheirways。Maybe——’
　　Hespreadouthishandwithagesture，andthenhesneezed，sneezingawaytheflowersfromhisnoseandhisnavel。Hesneezedagain。
　　`Maybewhat？’shesaid，waitingforhimtogoon。
　　Helookedatheralittlebewildered。
　　`Eh？’hesaid。
　　`Maybewhat？Goonwithwhatyouweregoingtosay，’sheinsisted。
　　`Ay，whatwasIgoingtosay？’
　　Hehadforgotten。Anditwasoneofthedisappointmentsofherlife，thatheneverfinished。
　　Ayellowrayofsunshoneoverthetrees。
　　`Sun!’hesaid。`Andtimeyouwent。Time，myLady，time!What’sthatasflieswithoutwings，yourLadyship？Time!Time!’
　　Hereachedforhisshirt。
　　`Saygoodnight!toJohnThomas，’hesaid，lookingdownathispenis。
　　`He’ssafeinthearmsofcreepingJenny!Notmuchburningpestleabouthimjustnow。’
　　Andheputhisflannelshirtoverhishead。
　　`Aman’smostdangerousmoment，’hesaid，whenhisheadhademerged，`iswhenhe’sgettingintohisshirt。Thenheputshisheadinabag。That’swhyIpreferthoseAmericanshirts，thatyouputonlikeajacket。’Shestillstoodwatchinghim。Hesteppedintohisshortdrawers，andbuttonedthemroundthewaist。
　　`LookatJane!’hesaid。`Inallherblossoms!Who’llputblossomsonyounextyear，Jinny？Me，orsomebodyelse？“Good-bye，mybluebell，farewelltoyou!“Ihatethatsong，it’searlywardays。’Hethensatdown，andwaspullingonhisstockings。Shestillstoodunmoving。Helaidhishandontheslopeofherbuttocks。`PrettylittleLadyJane!’hesaid。`PerhapsinVeniceyou’llfindamanwho’llputjasmineinyourmaiden-hair，andapomegranateflowerinyournavel。PoorlittleladyJane!’
　　`Don’tsaythosethings!’shesaid。`Youonlysaythemtohurtme。’
　　Hedroppedhishead。Thenhesaid，indialect：
　　`Ay，maybeIdo，maybeIdo!Wellthen，I’llsaynowt，an’ha’donewi’t。Butthamundressthysen，all’gobacktothystatelyhomesofEngland，howbeautifultheystand。Time’sup!Time’supforSirJohn，an’forlittleLadyJane!Putthyshimmyon，LadyChatterley!Thamightbeanybody，standin’
　　therebe-outevenashimmy，an’afewragso’flowers。Therethen，therethen，I’llundressthee，thabob-tailedyoungthrostle。’Andhetooktheleavesfromherhair，kissingherdamphair，andtheflowersfromherbreasts，andkissedherbreasts，andkissedhernavel，andkissedhermaiden-hair，wherehelefttheflowersthreaded。`Theymunstopwhiletheywill，’hesaid。`So!Theretha’rtbareagain，nowtbutabare-arsedlassan’abitofaLadyJane!Nowputthyshimmyon，forthamungo，orelseLadyChatterley’sgoin’tobelatefordinner，an’where’aveyerbeentomyprettymaid!’
　　Sheneverknewhowtoanswerhimwhenhewasinthisconditionofthevernacular。SoshedressedherselfandpreparedtogoalittleignominiouslyhometoWragby。Orsoshefeltit：alittleignominiouslyhome。
　　Hewouldaccompanyhertothebroadriding。Hisyoungpheasantswereallrightundertheshelter。
　　Whenheandshecameoutontotheriding，therewasMrsBoltonfalteringpalelytowardsthem。
　　`Oh，myLady，wewonderedifanythinghadhappened!’
　　`No!Nothinghashappened。’
　　MrsBoltonlookedintotheman’sface，thatwassmoothandnew-lookingwithlove。Shemethishalf-laughing，half-mockingeyes。Healwayslaughedatmischance。Buthelookedatherkindly。
　　`Evening，MrsBolton!YourLadyshipwillbeallrightnow，soIcanleaveyou。Good-nighttoyourLadyship!Good-night，MrsBolton!’
　　Hesalutedandturnedaway。
　　Chapter16
　　Conniearrivedhometoanordealofcross-questioning。Cliffordhadbeenoutattea-time，hadcomeinjustbeforethestorm，andwherewasherladyship？Nobodyknew，onlyMrsBoltonsuggestedshehadgoneforawalkintothewood。Intothewood，insuchastorm!Cliffordforoncelethimselfgetintoastateofnervousfrenzy。Hestartedateveryflashoflightning，andblenchedateveryrollofthunder。Helookedattheicythunder-rainasifitdaretheendoftheworld。Hegotmoreandmoreworkedup。
　　MrsBoltontriedtosoothehim。
　　`She’llbeshelteringinthehut，tillit’sover。Don’tworry，herLadyshipisallright。’
　　`Idon’tlikeherbeinginthewoodinastormlikethis!Idon’tlikeherbeinginthewoodatall!She’sbeengonenowmorethantwohours。
　　Whendidshegoout？’
　　`Alittlewhilebeforeyoucamein。’
　　`Ididn’tseeherinthepark。Godknowswheresheisandwhathashappenedtoher。’
　　`Oh，nothing’shappenedtoher。You’llsee，she’llbehomedirectlyaftertherainstops。It’sjusttherainthat’skeepingher。’
　　Butherladyshipdidnotcomehomedirectlytherainstopped。Infacttimewentby，thesuncameoutforhislastyellowglimpse，andtherestillwasnosignofher。Thesunwasset，itwasgrowingdark，andthefirstdinner-gonghadrung。
　　`It’snogood!’saidCliffordinafrenzy。`I’mgoingtosendoutFieldandBettstofindher。’
　　`Ohdon’tdothat!’criedMrsBolton。`They’llthinkthere’sasuicideorsomething。Ohdon’tstartalotoftalkgoing。Letmeslipovertothehutandseeifshe’snotthere。I’llfindherallright。’
　　So，aftersomepersuasion，Cliffordallowedhertogo。
　　AndsoConniehadcomeuponherinthedrive，aloneandpalelyloitering。
　　`Youmustn’tmindmecomingtolookforyou，myLady!ButSirCliffordworkedhimselfupintosuchastate。Hemadesureyouwerestruckbylightning，orkilledbyafallingtree。AndhewasdeterminedtosendFieldandBettstothewoodtofindthebody。SoIthoughtI’dbettercome，ratherthansetalltheservantsagog。
　　Shespokenervously。ShecouldstillseeonConnie’sfacethesmoothnessandthehalf-dreamofpassion，andshecouldfeeltheirritationagainstherself。
　　`Quite!’saidConnie。Andshecouldsaynomore。
　　Thetwowomenploddedonthroughthewetworld，insilence，whilegreatdropssplashedlikeexplosionsinthewood。Bentheycametothepark，Conniestrodeahead，andMrsBoltonpantedalittle。Shewasgettingplumper。
　　`HowfoolishofCliffordtomakeafuss!’saidConnieatlength，angrily，reallyspeakingtoherself。
　　`Oh，youknowwhatmenare!Theylikeworkingthemselvesup。Buthe’llbeallrightassoonasheseesyourLadyship。’
　　ConniewasveryangrythatMrsBoltonknewhersecret：forcertainlysheknewit。
　　SuddenlyConstancestoodstillonthepath。
　　`It’smonstrousthatIshouldhavetobefollowed!’shesaid，hereyesflashing。
　　`Oh!yourLadyship，don’tsaythat!He’dcertainlyhavesentthetwomen，andthey’dhavecomestraighttothehut。Ididn’tknowwhereitwas，really。’
　　Connieflusheddarkerwithrage，atthesuggestion。Yet，whileherpassionwasonher，shecouldnotlie。Shecouldnotevenpretendtherewasnothingbetweenherselfandthekeeper。Shelookedattheotherwoman，whostoodsosly，withherheaddropped：yetsomehow，inherfemaleness，anally。
　　`Ohwell!’shesaid。`Ifitissoitisso。Idon’tmind!’
　　`Why，you’reallright，myLady!You’veonlybeenshelteringinthehut。It’sabsolutelynothing。’
　　Theywentontothehouse。ConniemarchedintoClifford’sroom，furiouswithhim，furiouswithhispale，over-wroughtfeeandprominenteyes。
　　`Imustsay，Idon’tthinkyouneedsendtheservantsafterme，’sheburstout。
　　`MyGod!’heexploded。`Wherehaveyoubeen，woman，You’vebeengonehours，hours，andinastormlikethis!Whatthehelldoyougotothat-bloodywoodfor？Whathaveyoubeenupto？It’shoursevensincetherainstopped，hours!Doyouknowwhattimeitis？You’reenoughtodriveanybodymad。
　　Wherehaveyoubeen？Whatinthenameofhellhaveyoubeendoing？’
　　`AndwhatifIdon’tchoosetotellyou？’Shepulledherhatfromherheadandshookherhair。
　　Heliedatherwithhiseyesbulging，andyellowcomingintothewhites。
　　Itwasverybadforhimtogetintotheserages：MrsBoltonhadawearytimewithhim，fordaysafter。Conniefeltasuddenqualm。
　　Butreally!’shesaid，milder。`AnyonewouldthinkI’dbeenIdon’tknowwhere!Ijustsatinthehutduringallthestorm，andmademyselfalittlefire，andwashappy。’
　　Shespokenoweasily。Afterall，whyworkhimupanymore!
　　Helookedathersuspiciously。
　　Andlookatyourhair!’hesaid；`lookatyourself!’
　　`Yes!’sherepliedcalmly。`Iranoutintherainwithnoclotheson。’
　　Hestaredatherspeechless。
　　`Youmustbemad!’hesaid。
　　`Why？Tolikeashowerbathfromtherain？’
　　`Andhowdidyoudryyourself？’
　　`Onanoldtowelandatthefire。’
　　Hestillstaredatherinadumbfoundedway。
　　`Andsupposinganybodycame，’hesaid。
　　`Whowouldcome？’
　　`Who？Why，anybody!AndMellors。Doeshecome？Hemustcomeintheevenings。’
　　`Yes，hecamelater，whenithadclearedup，tofeedthepheasantswithcorn。’
　　Shespokewithamazingnonchalance。MrsBolton，whowaslisteninginthenextroom，heardinsheeradmiration。Tothinkawomancouldcarryitoffsonaturally!
　　`Andsupposehe’dcomewhileyouwererunningaboutintherainwithnothingon，likeamaniac？’
　　`Isupposehe’dhavehadthefrightofhislife，andclearedoutasfastashecould。’
　　Cliffordstillstaredathertransfixed。Whathethoughtinhisunder-consciousnesshewouldneverknow。Andhewastoomuchtakenabacktoformoneclearthoughtinhisupperconsciousness。Hejustsimplyacceptedwhatshesaid，inasortofblank。Andheadmiredher。Hecouldnothelpadmiringher。
　　Shelookedsoflushedandhandsomeandsmooth：lovesmooth。
　　`Atleast，’hesaid，subsiding，`you’llbeluckyifyou’vegotoffwithoutaseverecold。’
　　`Oh，Ihaven’tgotacold，’shereplied。Shewasthinkingtoherselfoftheotherman’swords：Tha’sgotthenicestwoman’sarseofanybody!
　　Shewished，shedearlywishedshecouldtellCliffordthatthishadbeensaidher，duringthefamousthunderstorm。However!Sheboreherselfratherlikeanoffendedqueen，andwentupstairstochange。