Edmundhadalreadygonethroughtheserviceoncesincehisordination;anduponthisbeingunderstood,hehadavarietyofquestionsfromCrawfordastohisfeelingsandsuccess;questions,whichbeingmade,thoughwiththevivacityoffriendlyinterestandquicktaste,withoutanytouchofthatspiritofbanterorairoflevitywhichEdmundknewtobemostoffensivetoFanny,hehadtruepleasureinsatisfying;andwhenCrawfordproceededtoaskhisopinionandgivehisownastotheproperestmannerinwhichparticularpassagesintheserviceshouldbedelivered,shewingittobeasubjectonwhichhehadthoughtbefore,andthoughtwithjudgment,Edmundwasstillmoreandmorepleased。ThiswouldbethewaytoFanny’sheart。
Shewasnottobewonbyallthatgallantryandwitandgood-naturetogethercoulddo;or,atleast,shewouldnotbewonbythemnearlysosoon,withouttheassistanceofsentimentandfeeling,andseriousnessonserioussubjects“Ourliturgy,“observedCrawford,“hasbeauties,whichnotevenacareless,slovenlystyleofreadingcandestroy;
butithasalsoredundanciesandrepetitionswhichrequiregoodreadingnottobefelt。Formyself,atleast,ImustconfessbeingnotalwayssoattentiveasIoughttobe“
herewasaglanceatFanny;“thatnineteentimesoutoftwentyIamthinkinghowsuchaprayeroughttoberead,andlongingtohaveittoreadmyself。Didyouspeak?“
steppingeagerlytoFanny,andaddressingherinasoftenedvoice;anduponhersaying“No,“headded,“Areyousureyoudidnotspeak?Isawyourlipsmove。
IfanciedyoumightbegoingtotellmeIoughttobemoreattentive,andnot_allow_mythoughtstowander。
Arenotyougoingtotellmeso?“
“No,indeed,youknowyourdutytoowellformeto——
evensupposing——“
Shestopt,feltherselfgettingintoapuzzle,andcouldnotbeprevailedontoaddanotherword,notbydintofseveralminutesofsupplicationandwaiting。Hethenreturnedtohisformerstation,andwentonasiftherehadbeennosuchtenderinterruption。
“Asermon,welldelivered,ismoreuncommoneventhanprayerswellread。Asermon,goodinitself,isnorarething。
Itismoredifficulttospeakwellthantocomposewell;
thatis,therulesandtrickofcompositionareofteneranobjectofstudy。Athoroughlygoodsermon,thoroughlywelldelivered,isacapitalgratification。
Icanneverhearsuchaonewithoutthegreatestadmirationandrespect,andmorethanhalfamindtotakeordersandpreachmyself。Thereissomethingintheeloquenceofthepulpit,whenitisreallyeloquence,whichisentitledtothehighestpraiseandhonour。Thepreacherwhocantouchandaffectsuchanheterogeneousmassofhearers,onsubjectslimited,andlongwornthreadbareinallcommonhands;whocansayanythingneworstriking,anythingthatrousestheattentionwithoutoffendingthetaste,orwearingoutthefeelingsofhishearers,isamanwhomonecouldnot,inhispubliccapacity,honourenough。
Ishouldliketobesuchaman。“
Edmundlaughed。
“Ishouldindeed。Ineverlistenedtoadistinguishedpreacherinmylifewithoutasortofenvy。Butthen,ImusthaveaLondonaudience。Icouldnotpreachbuttotheeducated;tothosewhowerecapableofestimatingmycomposition。AndIdonotknowthatIshouldbefondofpreachingoften;nowandthen,perhapsonceortwiceinthespring,afterbeinganxiouslyexpectedforhalfadozenSundaystogether;butnotforaconstancy;
itwouldnotdoforaconstancy。“
HereFanny,whocouldnotbutlisten,involuntarilyshookherhead,andCrawfordwasinstantlybyhersideagain,entreatingtoknowhermeaning;andasEdmundperceived,byhisdrawinginachair,andsittingdownclosebyher,thatitwastobeaverythoroughattack,thatlooksandundertonesweretobewelltried,hesankasquietlyaspossibleintoacorner,turnedhisback,andtookupanewspaper,verysincerelywishingthatdearlittleFannymightbepersuadedintoexplainingawaythatshakeoftheheadtothesatisfactionofherardentlover;
andasearnestlytryingtoburyeverysoundofthebusinessfromhimselfinmurmursofhisown,overthevariousadvertisementsof“AmostdesirableEstateinSouthWales“;“ToParentsandGuardians“;anda“Capitalseason’dHunter。“
Fanny,meanwhile,vexedwithherselffornothavingbeenasmotionlessasshewasspeechless,andgrievedtothehearttoseeEdmund’sarrangements,wastryingbyeverythinginthepowerofhermodest,gentlenature,torepulseMr。Crawford,andavoidbothhislooksandinquiries;
andhe,unrepulsable,waspersistinginboth。
“Whatdidthatshakeoftheheadmean?“saidhe。“Whatwasitmeanttoexpress?Disapprobation,Ifear。Butofwhat?
WhathadIbeensayingtodispleaseyou?Didyouthinkmespeakingimproperly,lightly,irreverentlyonthesubject?
OnlytellmeifIwas。OnlytellmeifIwaswrong。
Iwanttobesetright。Nay,nay,Ientreatyou;
foronemomentputdownyourwork。Whatdidthatshakeoftheheadmean?“
Invainwasher“Pray,sir,don’t;pray,Mr。Crawford,“
repeatedtwiceover;andinvaindidshetrytomoveaway。
Inthesamelow,eagervoice,andthesamecloseneighbourhood,hewenton,reurgingthesamequestionsasbefore。
Shegrewmoreagitatedanddispleased。
“Howcanyou,sir?Youquiteastonishme;Iwonderhowyoucan——“
“DoIastonishyou?“saidhe。“Doyouwonder?Isthereanythinginmypresententreatythatyoudonotunderstand?
Iwillexplaintoyouinstantlyallthatmakesmeurgeyouinthismanner,allthatgivesmeaninterestinwhatyoulookanddo,andexcitesmypresentcuriosity。
Iwillnotleaveyoutowonderlong。“
Inspiteofherself,shecouldnothelphalfasmile,butshesaidnothing。
“YoushookyourheadatmyacknowledgingthatIshouldnotliketoengageinthedutiesofaclergymanalwaysforaconstancy。Yes,thatwastheword。Constancy:
Iamnotafraidoftheword。Iwouldspellit,readit,writeitwithanybody。Iseenothingalarmingintheword。
DidyouthinkIought?“
“Perhaps,sir,“saidFanny,weariedatlastintospeaking——
“perhaps,sir,Ithoughtitwasapityyoudidnotalwaysknowyourselfaswellasyouseemedtodoatthatmoment。“
Crawford,delightedtogethertospeakatanyrate,wasdeterminedtokeepitup;andpoorFanny,whohadhopedtosilencehimbysuchanextremityofreproof,foundherselfsadlymistaken,andthatitwasonlyachangefromoneobjectofcuriosityandonesetofwordstoanother。
Hehadalwayssomethingtoentreattheexplanationof。
Theopportunitywastoofair。Nonesuchhadoccurredsincehisseeingherinheruncle’sroom,nonesuchmightoccuragainbeforehisleavingMansfield。LadyBertram’sbeingjustontheothersideofthetablewasatrifle,forshemightalwaysbeconsideredasonlyhalf-awake,andEdmund’sadvertisementswerestillofthefirstutility。
“Well,“saidCrawford,afteracourseofrapidquestionsandreluctantanswers;“IamhappierthanIwas,becauseI
nowunderstandmoreclearlyyouropinionofme。Youthinkmeunsteady:easilyswayedbythewhimofthemoment,easilytempted,easilyputaside。Withsuchanopinion,nowonderthat。Butweshallsee。ItisnotbyprotestationsthatIshallendeavourtoconvinceyouIamwronged;
itisnotbytellingyouthatmyaffectionsaresteady。
Myconductshallspeakforme;absence,distance,timeshallspeakforme。_They_shallprovethat,asfarasyoucanbedeservedbyanybody,Idodeserveyou。Youareinfinitelymysuperiorinmerit;all_that_Iknow。
YouhavequalitieswhichIhadnotbeforesupposedtoexistinsuchadegreeinanyhumancreature。
Youhavesometouchesoftheangelinyoubeyondwhat——
notmerelybeyondwhatonesees,becauseoneneverseesanythinglikeit——butbeyondwhatonefanciesmightbe。
ButstillIamnotfrightened。Itisnotbyequalityofmeritthatyoucanbewon。Thatisoutofthequestion。
Itishewhoseesandworshipsyourmeritthestrongest,wholovesyoumostdevotedly,thathasthebestrighttoareturn。ThereIbuildmyconfidence。
BythatrightIdoandwilldeserveyou;andwhenonceconvincedthatmyattachmentiswhatIdeclareit,Iknowyoutoowellnottoentertainthewarmesthopes。
Yes,dearest,sweetestFanny。Nay“seeingherdrawbackdispleased,“forgiveme。PerhapsIhaveasyetnoright;
第69章