首页 >出版文学> Mansfield Parkby>第69章

第69章

  Edmundhadalreadygonethroughtheserviceoncesincehisordination;anduponthisbeingunderstood,hehadavarietyofquestionsfromCrawfordastohisfeelingsandsuccess;questions,whichbeingmade,thoughwiththevivacityoffriendlyinterestandquicktaste,withoutanytouchofthatspiritofbanterorairoflevitywhichEdmundknewtobemostoffensivetoFanny,hehadtruepleasureinsatisfying;andwhenCrawfordproceededtoaskhisopinionandgivehisownastotheproperestmannerinwhichparticularpassagesintheserviceshouldbedelivered,shewingittobeasubjectonwhichhehadthoughtbefore,andthoughtwithjudgment,Edmundwasstillmoreandmorepleased。ThiswouldbethewaytoFanny’sheart。
  Shewasnottobewonbyallthatgallantryandwitandgood-naturetogethercoulddo;or,atleast,shewouldnotbewonbythemnearlysosoon,withouttheassistanceofsentimentandfeeling,andseriousnessonserioussubjects“Ourliturgy,“observedCrawford,“hasbeauties,whichnotevenacareless,slovenlystyleofreadingcandestroy;
  butithasalsoredundanciesandrepetitionswhichrequiregoodreadingnottobefelt。Formyself,atleast,ImustconfessbeingnotalwayssoattentiveasIoughttobe“
  herewasaglanceatFanny;“thatnineteentimesoutoftwentyIamthinkinghowsuchaprayeroughttoberead,andlongingtohaveittoreadmyself。Didyouspeak?“
  steppingeagerlytoFanny,andaddressingherinasoftenedvoice;anduponhersaying“No,“headded,“Areyousureyoudidnotspeak?Isawyourlipsmove。
  IfanciedyoumightbegoingtotellmeIoughttobemoreattentive,andnot_allow_mythoughtstowander。
  Arenotyougoingtotellmeso?“
  “No,indeed,youknowyourdutytoowellformeto——
  evensupposing——“
  Shestopt,feltherselfgettingintoapuzzle,andcouldnotbeprevailedontoaddanotherword,notbydintofseveralminutesofsupplicationandwaiting。Hethenreturnedtohisformerstation,andwentonasiftherehadbeennosuchtenderinterruption。
  “Asermon,welldelivered,ismoreuncommoneventhanprayerswellread。Asermon,goodinitself,isnorarething。
  Itismoredifficulttospeakwellthantocomposewell;
  thatis,therulesandtrickofcompositionareofteneranobjectofstudy。Athoroughlygoodsermon,thoroughlywelldelivered,isacapitalgratification。
  Icanneverhearsuchaonewithoutthegreatestadmirationandrespect,andmorethanhalfamindtotakeordersandpreachmyself。Thereissomethingintheeloquenceofthepulpit,whenitisreallyeloquence,whichisentitledtothehighestpraiseandhonour。Thepreacherwhocantouchandaffectsuchanheterogeneousmassofhearers,onsubjectslimited,andlongwornthreadbareinallcommonhands;whocansayanythingneworstriking,anythingthatrousestheattentionwithoutoffendingthetaste,orwearingoutthefeelingsofhishearers,isamanwhomonecouldnot,inhispubliccapacity,honourenough。
  Ishouldliketobesuchaman。“
  Edmundlaughed。
  “Ishouldindeed。Ineverlistenedtoadistinguishedpreacherinmylifewithoutasortofenvy。Butthen,ImusthaveaLondonaudience。Icouldnotpreachbuttotheeducated;tothosewhowerecapableofestimatingmycomposition。AndIdonotknowthatIshouldbefondofpreachingoften;nowandthen,perhapsonceortwiceinthespring,afterbeinganxiouslyexpectedforhalfadozenSundaystogether;butnotforaconstancy;
  itwouldnotdoforaconstancy。“
  HereFanny,whocouldnotbutlisten,involuntarilyshookherhead,andCrawfordwasinstantlybyhersideagain,entreatingtoknowhermeaning;andasEdmundperceived,byhisdrawinginachair,andsittingdownclosebyher,thatitwastobeaverythoroughattack,thatlooksandundertonesweretobewelltried,hesankasquietlyaspossibleintoacorner,turnedhisback,andtookupanewspaper,verysincerelywishingthatdearlittleFannymightbepersuadedintoexplainingawaythatshakeoftheheadtothesatisfactionofherardentlover;
  andasearnestlytryingtoburyeverysoundofthebusinessfromhimselfinmurmursofhisown,overthevariousadvertisementsof“AmostdesirableEstateinSouthWales“;“ToParentsandGuardians“;anda“Capitalseason’dHunter。“
  Fanny,meanwhile,vexedwithherselffornothavingbeenasmotionlessasshewasspeechless,andgrievedtothehearttoseeEdmund’sarrangements,wastryingbyeverythinginthepowerofhermodest,gentlenature,torepulseMr。Crawford,andavoidbothhislooksandinquiries;
  andhe,unrepulsable,waspersistinginboth。
  “Whatdidthatshakeoftheheadmean?“saidhe。“Whatwasitmeanttoexpress?Disapprobation,Ifear。Butofwhat?
  WhathadIbeensayingtodispleaseyou?Didyouthinkmespeakingimproperly,lightly,irreverentlyonthesubject?
  OnlytellmeifIwas。OnlytellmeifIwaswrong。
  Iwanttobesetright。Nay,nay,Ientreatyou;
  foronemomentputdownyourwork。Whatdidthatshakeoftheheadmean?“
  Invainwasher“Pray,sir,don’t;pray,Mr。Crawford,“
  repeatedtwiceover;andinvaindidshetrytomoveaway。
  Inthesamelow,eagervoice,andthesamecloseneighbourhood,hewenton,reurgingthesamequestionsasbefore。
  Shegrewmoreagitatedanddispleased。
  “Howcanyou,sir?Youquiteastonishme;Iwonderhowyoucan——“
  “DoIastonishyou?“saidhe。“Doyouwonder?Isthereanythinginmypresententreatythatyoudonotunderstand?
  Iwillexplaintoyouinstantlyallthatmakesmeurgeyouinthismanner,allthatgivesmeaninterestinwhatyoulookanddo,andexcitesmypresentcuriosity。
  Iwillnotleaveyoutowonderlong。“
  Inspiteofherself,shecouldnothelphalfasmile,butshesaidnothing。
  “YoushookyourheadatmyacknowledgingthatIshouldnotliketoengageinthedutiesofaclergymanalwaysforaconstancy。Yes,thatwastheword。Constancy:
  Iamnotafraidoftheword。Iwouldspellit,readit,writeitwithanybody。Iseenothingalarmingintheword。
  DidyouthinkIought?“
  “Perhaps,sir,“saidFanny,weariedatlastintospeaking——
  “perhaps,sir,Ithoughtitwasapityyoudidnotalwaysknowyourselfaswellasyouseemedtodoatthatmoment。“
  Crawford,delightedtogethertospeakatanyrate,wasdeterminedtokeepitup;andpoorFanny,whohadhopedtosilencehimbysuchanextremityofreproof,foundherselfsadlymistaken,andthatitwasonlyachangefromoneobjectofcuriosityandonesetofwordstoanother。
  Hehadalwayssomethingtoentreattheexplanationof。
  Theopportunitywastoofair。Nonesuchhadoccurredsincehisseeingherinheruncle’sroom,nonesuchmightoccuragainbeforehisleavingMansfield。LadyBertram’sbeingjustontheothersideofthetablewasatrifle,forshemightalwaysbeconsideredasonlyhalf-awake,andEdmund’sadvertisementswerestillofthefirstutility。
  “Well,“saidCrawford,afteracourseofrapidquestionsandreluctantanswers;“IamhappierthanIwas,becauseI
  nowunderstandmoreclearlyyouropinionofme。Youthinkmeunsteady:easilyswayedbythewhimofthemoment,easilytempted,easilyputaside。Withsuchanopinion,nowonderthat。Butweshallsee。ItisnotbyprotestationsthatIshallendeavourtoconvinceyouIamwronged;
  itisnotbytellingyouthatmyaffectionsaresteady。
  Myconductshallspeakforme;absence,distance,timeshallspeakforme。_They_shallprovethat,asfarasyoucanbedeservedbyanybody,Idodeserveyou。Youareinfinitelymysuperiorinmerit;all_that_Iknow。
  YouhavequalitieswhichIhadnotbeforesupposedtoexistinsuchadegreeinanyhumancreature。
  Youhavesometouchesoftheangelinyoubeyondwhat——
  notmerelybeyondwhatonesees,becauseoneneverseesanythinglikeit——butbeyondwhatonefanciesmightbe。
  ButstillIamnotfrightened。Itisnotbyequalityofmeritthatyoucanbewon。Thatisoutofthequestion。
  Itishewhoseesandworshipsyourmeritthestrongest,wholovesyoumostdevotedly,thathasthebestrighttoareturn。ThereIbuildmyconfidence。
  BythatrightIdoandwilldeserveyou;andwhenonceconvincedthatmyattachmentiswhatIdeclareit,Iknowyoutoowellnottoentertainthewarmesthopes。
  Yes,dearest,sweetestFanny。Nay“seeingherdrawbackdispleased,“forgiveme。PerhapsIhaveasyetnoright;