首页 >出版文学> Mansfield Parkby>第62章

第62章

  “Itisamazing,“saidshe,“howmuchyoungpeoplecosttheirfriends,whatwithbringingthemupandputtingthemoutintheworld!Theylittlethinkhowmuchitcomesto,orwhattheirparents,ortheirunclesandaunts,payfortheminthecourseoftheyear。Now,herearemysisterPrice’schildren;takethemalltogether,IdaresaynobodywouldbelievewhatasumtheycostSirThomaseveryyear,tosaynothingofwhat_I_doforthem。“
  “Verytrue,sister,asyousay。But,poorthings!
  theycannothelpit;andyouknowitmakesverylittledifferencetoSirThomas。Fanny,WilliammustnotforgetmyshawlifhegoestotheEastIndies;andIshallgivehimacommissionforanythingelsethatisworthhaving。
  IwishhemaygototheEastIndies,thatImayhavemyshawl。
  IthinkIwillhavetwoshawls,Fanny。“
  Fanny,meanwhile,speakingonlywhenshecouldnothelpit,wasveryearnestlytryingtounderstandwhatMr。andMissCrawfordwereat。Therewaseverythingintheworld_against_theirbeingseriousbuthiswordsandmanner。
  Everythingnatural,probable,reasonable,wasagainstit;
  alltheirhabitsandwaysofthinking,andallherowndemerits。Howcould_she_haveexcitedseriousattachmentinamanwhohadseensomany,andbeenadmiredbysomany,andflirtedwithsomany,infinitelyhersuperiors;whoseemedsolittleopentoseriousimpressions,evenwherepainshadbeentakentopleasehim;whothoughtsoslightly,socarelessly,sounfeelinglyonallsuchpoints;whowaseverythingtoeverybody,andseemedtofindnooneessentialtohim?
  Andfarther,howcoulditbesupposedthathissister,withallherhighandworldlynotionsofmatrimony,wouldbeforwardinganythingofaseriousnatureinsuchaquarter?Nothingcouldbemoreunnaturalineither。
  Fannywasashamedofherowndoubts。Everythingmightbepossibleratherthanseriousattachment,orseriousapprobationofittowardher。ShehadquiteconvincedherselfofthisbeforeSirThomasandMr。Crawfordjoinedthem。
  ThedifficultywasinmaintainingtheconvictionquitesoabsolutelyafterMr。Crawfordwasintheroom;
  foronceortwicealookseemedforcedonherwhichshedidnotknowhowtoclassamongthecommonmeaning;
  inanyotherman,atleast,shewouldhavesaidthatitmeantsomethingveryearnest,verypointed。
  Butshestilltriedtobelieveitnomorethanwhathemightoftenhaveexpressedtowardshercousinsandfiftyotherwomen。
  Shethoughthewaswishingtospeaktoherunheardbytherest。Shefanciedhewastryingforitthewholeeveningatintervals,wheneverSirThomaswasoutoftheroom,oratallengagedwithMrs。Norris,andshecarefullyrefusedhimeveryopportunity。
  Atlast——itseemedanatlasttoFanny’snervousness,thoughnotremarkablylate——hebegantotalkofgoingaway;
  butthecomfortofthesoundwasimpairedbyhisturningtoherthenextmoment,andsaying,“HaveyounothingtosendtoMary?Noanswertohernote?Shewillbedisappointedifshereceivesnothingfromyou。Praywritetoher,ifitbeonlyaline。“
  “Ohyes!certainly,“criedFanny,risinginhaste,thehasteofembarrassmentandofwantingtogetaway——
  “Iwillwritedirectly。“
  Shewentaccordinglytothetable,whereshewasinthehabitofwritingforheraunt,andpreparedhermaterialswithoutknowingwhatintheworldtosay。ShehadreadMissCrawford’snoteonlyonce,andhowtoreplytoanythingsoimperfectlyunderstoodwasmostdistressing。
  Quiteunpractisedinsuchsortofnote-writing,hadtherebeentimeforscruplesandfearsastostyleshewouldhavefelttheminabundance:butsomethingmustbeinstantlywritten;andwithonlyonedecidedfeeling,thatofwishingnottoappeartothinkanythingreallyintended,shewrotethus,ingreattremblingbothofspiritsandhand——
  “Iamverymuchobligedtoyou,mydearMissCrawford,foryourkindcongratulations,asfarastheyrelatetomydearestWilliam。TherestofyournoteIknowmeansnothing;
  butIamsounequaltoanythingofthesort,thatIhopeyouwillexcusemybeggingyoutotakenofarthernotice。
  IhaveseentoomuchofMr。Crawfordnottounderstandhismanners;ifheunderstoodmeaswell,hewould,Idaresay,behavedifferently。IdonotknowwhatIwrite,butitwouldbeagreatfavourofyounevertomentionthesubjectagain。Withthanksforthehonourofyournote,Iremain,dearMissCrawford,etc。,etc。“
  Theconclusionwasscarcelyintelligiblefromincreasingfright,forshefoundthatMr。Crawford,underpretenceofreceivingthenote,wascomingtowardsher。
  “YoucannotthinkImeantohurryyou,“saidhe,inanundervoice,perceivingtheamazingtrepidationwithwhichshemadeupthenote,“youcannotthinkIhaveanysuchobject。Donothurryyourself,Ientreat。“
  “Oh!Ithankyou;Ihavequitedone,justdone;itwillbereadyinamoment;Iamverymuchobligedtoyou;
  ifyouwillbesogoodastogive_that_toMissCrawford。“
  Thenotewasheldout,andmustbetaken;andassheinstantlyandwithavertedeyeswalkedtowardsthefireplace,wheresattheothers,hehadnothingtodobuttogoingoodearnest。
  Fannythoughtshehadneverknownadayofgreateragitation,bothofpainandpleasure;buthappilythepleasurewasnotofasorttodiewiththeday;foreverydaywouldrestoretheknowledgeofWilliam’sadvancement,whereasthepain,shehoped,wouldreturnnomore。
  Shehadnodoubtthathernotemustappearexcessivelyill-written,thatthelanguagewoulddisgraceachild,forherdistresshadallowednoarrangement;butatleastitwouldassurethembothofherbeingneitherimposedonnorgratifiedbyMr。Crawford’sattentions。
  FannyhadbynomeansforgottenMr。Crawfordwhensheawokethenextmorning;butsherememberedthepurportofhernote,andwasnotlesssanguineastoitseffectthanshehadbeenthenightbefore。IfMr。Crawfordwouldbutgoaway!Thatwaswhatshemostearnestlydesired:
  goandtakehissisterwithhim,ashewastodo,andashereturnedtoMansfieldonpurposetodo。
  Andwhyitwasnotdonealreadyshecouldnotdevise,forMissCrawfordcertainlywantednodelay。Fannyhadhoped,inthecourseofhisyesterday’svisit,tohearthedaynamed;
  buthehadonlyspokenoftheirjourneyaswhatwouldtakeplaceerelong。
  Havingsosatisfactorilysettledtheconvictionhernotewouldconvey,shecouldnotbutbeastonishedtoseeMr。Crawford,assheaccidentallydid,cominguptothehouseagain,andatanhourasearlyasthedaybefore。
  Hiscomingmighthavenothingtodowithher,butshemustavoidseeinghimifpossible;andbeingthenonherwayupstairs,sheresolvedtheretoremain,duringthewholeofhisvisit,unlessactuallysentfor;
  andasMrs。Norriswasstillinthehouse,thereseemedlittledangerofherbeingwanted。
  Shesatsometimeinagooddealofagitation,listening,trembling,andfearingtobesentforeverymoment;
  butasnofootstepsapproachedtheEastroom,shegrewgraduallycomposed,couldsitdown,andbeabletoemployherself,andabletohopethatMr。Crawfordhadcomeandwouldgowithoutherbeingobligedtoknowanythingofthematter。
  Nearlyhalfanhourhadpassed,andshewasgrowingverycomfortable,whensuddenlythesoundofastepinregularapproachwasheard;aheavystep,anunusualstepinthatpartofthehouse:itwasheruncle’s;
  sheknewitaswellashisvoice;shehadtrembledatitasoften,andbegantotrembleagain,attheideaofhiscominguptospeaktoher,whatevermightbethesubject。
  ItwasindeedSirThomaswhoopenedthedoorandaskedifshewerethere,andifhemightcomein。Theterrorofhisformeroccasionalvisitstothatroomseemedallrenewed,andshefeltasifheweregoingtoexamineheragaininFrenchandEnglish。
  Shewasallattention,however,inplacingachairforhim,andtryingtoappearhonoured;and,inheragitation,hadquiteoverlookedthedeficienciesofherapartment,tillhe,stoppingshortasheentered,said,withmuchsurprise,“Whyhaveyounofireto-day?“
  Therewassnowontheground,andshewassittinginashawl。
  Shehesitated。
  “Iamnotcold,sir:Ineversitherelongatthistimeofyear。“
  “Butyouhaveafireingeneral?“
  “No,sir。“
  “Howcomesthisabout?Heremustbesomemistake。