Isupposeyouhavehadaslittletovexyousinceyoucameintothishouseasanycreatureintheworld。“
“IhopeIamnotungrateful,aunt,“saidFannymodestly。
“No,mydear;Ihopenot。Ihavealwaysfoundyouaverygoodgirl。“
“AndamInevertolivehereagain?“
“Never,mydear;butyouaresureofacomfortablehome。
Itcanmakeverylittledifferencetoyou,whetheryouareinonehouseortheother。“
Fannylefttheroomwithaverysorrowfulheart;shecouldnotfeelthedifferencetobesosmall,shecouldnotthinkoflivingwithherauntwithanythinglikesatisfaction。
AssoonasshemetwithEdmundshetoldhimherdistress。
“Cousin,“saidshe,“somethingisgoingtohappenwhichI
donotlikeatall;andthoughyouhaveoftenpersuadedmeintobeingreconciledtothingsthatIdislikedatfirst,youwillnotbeabletodoitnow。IamgoingtoliveentirelywithmyauntNorris。“
“Indeed!“
“Yes;myauntBertramhasjusttoldmeso。Itisquitesettled。
IamtoleaveMansfieldPark,andgototheWhiteHouse,Isuppose,assoonassheisremovedthere。“
“Well,Fanny,andiftheplanwerenotunpleasanttoyou,Ishouldcallitanexcellentone。“
“Oh,cousin!“
“Ithaseverythingelseinitsfavour。Myauntisactinglikeasensiblewomaninwishingforyou。Sheischoosingafriendandcompanionexactlywheresheought,andIamgladherloveofmoneydoesnotinterfere。
Youwillbewhatyououghttobetoher。Ihopeitdoesnotdistressyouverymuch,Fanny?“
“Indeeditdoes:Icannotlikeit。Ilovethishouseandeverythinginit:Ishalllovenothingthere。
YouknowhowuncomfortableIfeelwithher。“
“Icansaynothingforhermannertoyouasachild;
butitwasthesamewithusall,ornearlyso。Sheneverknewhowtobepleasanttochildren。Butyouarenowofanagetobetreatedbetter;Ithinksheisbehavingbetteralready;andwhenyouareheronlycompanion,you_must_beimportanttoher。“
“Icanneverbeimportanttoanyone。“
“Whatistopreventyou?“
“Everything。Mysituation,myfoolishnessandawkwardness。“
“Astoyourfoolishnessandawkwardness,mydearFanny,believeme,youneverhaveashadowofeither,butinusingthewordssoimproperly。Thereisnoreasonintheworldwhyyoushouldnotbeimportantwhereyouareknown。
Youhavegoodsense,andasweettemper,andIamsureyouhaveagratefulheart,thatcouldneverreceivekindnesswithoutwishingtoreturnit。Idonotknowanybetterqualificationsforafriendandcompanion。“
“Youaretookind,“saidFanny,colouringatsuchpraise;
“howshallIeverthankyouasIought,forthinkingsowellofme。Oh!cousin,ifIamtogoaway,Ishallrememberyourgoodnesstothelastmomentofmylife。“
“Why,indeed,Fanny,IshouldhopetoberememberedatsuchadistanceastheWhiteHouse。Youspeakasifyouweregoingtwohundredmilesoffinsteadofonlyacrossthepark;butyouwillbelongtousalmostasmuchasever。
Thetwofamilieswillbemeetingeverydayintheyear。
Theonlydifferencewillbethat,livingwithyouraunt,youwillnecessarilybebroughtforwardasyououghttobe。
Heretherearetoomanywhomyoucanhidebehind;butwithheryouwillbeforcedtospeakforyourself。“
“Oh!Idonotsayso。“
“Imustsayit,andsayitwithpleasure。Mrs。Norrisismuchbetterfittedthanmymotherforhavingthechargeofyounow。Sheisofatempertodoagreatdealforanybodyshereallyinterestsherselfabout,andshewillforceyoutodojusticetoyournaturalpowers。“
Fannysighed,andsaid,“Icannotseethingsasyoudo;
butIoughttobelieveyoutoberightratherthanmyself,andIamverymuchobligedtoyoufortryingtoreconcilemetowhatmustbe。IfIcouldsupposemyauntreallytocareforme,itwouldbedelightfultofeelmyselfofconsequencetoanybody。_Here_,Iknow,Iamofnone,andyetIlovetheplacesowell。“
“Theplace,Fanny,iswhatyouwillnotquit,thoughyouquitthehouse。Youwillhaveasfreeacommandoftheparkandgardensasever。Even_your_constantlittleheartneednottakefrightatsuchanominalchange。
Youwillhavethesamewalkstofrequent,thesamelibrarytochoosefrom,thesamepeopletolookat,thesamehorsetoride。“
“Verytrue。Yes,dearoldgreypony!Ah!cousin,whenI
rememberhowmuchIusedtodreadriding,whatterrorsitgavemetohearittalkedofaslikelytodomegoodoh!howIhavetrembledatmyuncle’sopeninghislipsifhorsesweretalkedof,andthenthinkofthekindpainsyoutooktoreasonandpersuademeoutofmyfears,andconvincemethatIshouldlikeitafteralittlewhile,andfeelhowrightyouprovedtobe,Iaminclinedtohopeyoumayalwaysprophesyaswell。“
“AndIamquiteconvincedthatyourbeingwithMrs。Norriswillbeasgoodforyourmindasridinghasbeenforyourhealth,andasmuchforyourultimatehappinesstoo。“
Soendedtheirdiscourse,which,foranyveryappropriateserviceitcouldrenderFanny,mightaswellhavebeenspared,forMrs。Norrishadnotthesmallestintentionoftakingher。
Ithadneveroccurredtoher,onthepresentoccasion,butasathingtobecarefullyavoided。Topreventitsbeingexpected,shehadfixedonthesmallesthabitationwhichcouldrankasgenteelamongthebuildingsofMansfieldparish,theWhiteHousebeingonlyjustlargeenoughtoreceiveherselfandherservants,andallowaspareroomforafriend,ofwhichshemadeaveryparticularpoint。
ThespareroomsattheParsonagehadneverbeenwanted,buttheabsolutenecessityofaspareroomforafriendwasnowneverforgotten。Notallherprecautions,however,couldsaveherfrombeingsuspectedofsomethingbetter;
or,perhaps,herverydisplayoftheimportanceofaspareroommighthavemisledSirThomastosupposeitreallyintendedforFanny。LadyBertramsoonbroughtthemattertoacertaintybycarelesslyobservingtoMrs。Norris——
“Ithink,sister,weneednotkeepMissLeeanylonger,whenFannygoestolivewithyou。“
Mrs。Norrisalmoststarted。“Livewithme,dearLadyBertram!whatdoyoumean?“
“Isshenottolivewithyou?IthoughtyouhadsettleditwithSirThomas。“
“Me!never。IneverspokeasyllableaboutittoSirThomas,norhetome。Fannylivewithme!thelastthingintheworldformetothinkof,orforanybodytowishthatreallyknowsusboth。Goodheaven!whatcouldIdowithFanny?
Me!apoor,helpless,forlornwidow,unfitforanything,myspiritsquitebrokedown;whatcouldIdowithagirlathertimeoflife?Agirloffifteen!theveryageofallotherstoneedmostattentionandcare,andputthecheerfullestspiritstothetest!SureSirThomascouldnotseriouslyexpectsuchathing!SirThomasistoomuchmyfriend。Nobodythatwishesmewell,Iamsure,wouldproposeit。HowcameSirThomastospeaktoyouaboutit?“
“Indeed,Idonotknow。Isupposehethoughtitbest。“
“Butwhatdidhesay?Hecouldnotsayhe_wished_metotakeFanny。Iamsureinhishearthecouldnotwishmetodoit。“
“No;heonlysaidhethoughtitverylikely;andIthoughtsotoo。Weboththoughtitwouldbeacomforttoyou。
Butifyoudonotlikeit,thereisnomoretobesaid。
Sheisnoencumbrancehere。“
“Dearsister,ifyouconsidermyunhappystate,howcanshebeanycomforttome?HereamI,apoordesolatewidow,deprivedofthebestofhusbands,myhealthgoneinattendingandnursinghim,myspiritsstillworse,allmypeaceinthisworlddestroyed,withhardlyenoughtosupportmeintherankofagentlewoman,andenablemetolivesoasnottodisgracethememoryofthedeardeparted——
whatpossiblecomfortcouldIhaveintakingsuchachargeuponmeasFanny?IfIcouldwishitformyownsake,Iwouldnotdosounjustathingbythepoorgirl。
Sheisingoodhands,andsureofdoingwell。ImuststrugglethroughmysorrowsanddifficultiesasIcan。“
“Thenyouwillnotmindlivingbyyourselfquitealone?“
“LadyBertram,Idonotcomplain。IknowIcannotliveasIhavedone,butImustretrenchwhereIcan,andlearntobeabettermanager。I_have__been_
aliberalhousekeeperenough,butIshallnotbeashamedtopractiseeconomynow。Mysituationisasmuchalteredasmyincome。AgreatmanythingswereduefrompoorMr。Norris,asclergymanoftheparish,thatcannotbeexpectedfromme。Itisunknownhowmuchwasconsumedinourkitchenbyoddcomersandgoers。
AttheWhiteHouse,mattersmustbebetterlookedafter。
I_must_livewithinmyincome,orIshallbemiserable;
andIownitwouldgivemegreatsatisfactiontobeabletodorathermore,tolaybyalittleattheendoftheyear。“
“Idaresayyouwill。Youalwaysdo,don’tyou?“
“Myobject,LadyBertram,istobeofusetothosethatcomeafterme。Itisforyourchildren’sgoodthatI
wishtobericher。Ihavenobodyelsetocarefor,butIshouldbeverygladtothinkIcouldleavealittletrifleamongthemworththeirhaving。“
“Youareverygood,butdonottroubleyourselfaboutthem。
Theyaresureofbeingwellprovidedfor。SirThomaswilltakecareofthat。“
“Why,youknow,SirThomas’smeanswillberatherstraitenediftheAntiguaestateistomakesuchpoorreturns。“
“Oh!_that_willsoonbesettled。SirThomashasbeenwritingaboutit,Iknow。“
第5章