Headvancedafewsteps,andstopped。Absorbedinherself,Annefailedtohearhim。Shenevermoved。
“Ihavecome,asyoumadeapointofit,“hesaid,sullenly。
“But,mindyou,itisn’tsafe。“
Atthesoundofhisvoice,Anneturnedtowardhim。Achangeofexpressionappearedinherface,assheslowlyadvancedfromthebackofthesummer-house,whichrevealedalikenesstohermother,notperceivableatothertimes。Asthemotherhadlooked,inby-gonedays,atthemanwhohaddisownedher,sothedaughterlookedatGeoffreyDelamayn——withthesameterriblecomposure,andthesameterriblecontempt。
“Well?“heasked。“Whathaveyougottosaytome?“
“Mr。Delamayn,“sheanswered,“youareoneofthefortunatepeopleofthisworld。Youareanobleman’sson。Youareahandsomeman。Youarepopularatyourcollege。YouarefreeofthebesthousesinEngland。Areyousomethingbesidesallthis?
Areyouacowardandascoundrelaswell?“
Hestarted——openedhislipstospeak——checkedhimself——andmadeanuneasyattempttolaughitoff。“Come!“hesaid,“keepyourtemper。“
Thesuppressedpassioninherbegantoforceitswaytothesurface。
“Keepmytemper?“sherepeated。“Do_you_ofallmenexpectmetocontrolmyself?Whatamemoryyoursmustbe!HaveyouforgottenthetimewhenIwasfoolenoughtothinkyouwerefondofme?andmadenoughtobelieveyoucouldkeepapromise?“
Hepersistedintryingtolaughitoff。“Madisastrongishwordtouse,MissSilvester!“
“Madistherightword!Ilookbackatmyowninfatuation——andI
can’taccountforit;Ican’tunderstandmyself。Whatwastherein_you_,“sheasked,withanoutbreakofcontemptuoussurprise,“toattractsuchawomanasIam?“
Hisinexhaustiblegood-naturewasproofevenagainstthis。Heputhishandsinhispockets,andsaid,“I’msureIdon’tknow。“
Sheturnedawayfromhim。Thefrankbrutalityoftheanswerhadnotoffendedher。Itforcedher,cruellyforcedher,torememberthatshehadnobodybutherselftoblameforthepositioninwhichshestoodatthatmoment。Shewasunwillingtolethimseehowtheremembrancehurther——thatwasall。Asad,sadstory;butitmustbetold。Inhermother’stimeshehadbeenthesweetest,themostlovableofchildren。Inlaterdays,underthecareofhermother’sfriend,hergirlhoodhadpassedsoharmlesslyandsohappily——itseemedasifthesleepingpassionsmightsleepforever!Shehadlivedontotheprimeofherwomanhood——andthen,whenthetreasureofherlifewasatitsrichest,inonefatalmomentshehadflungitawayonthemaninwhosepresenceshenowstood。
Wasshewithoutexcuse?No:notutterlywithoutexcuse。
Shehadseenhimunderotheraspectsthantheaspectwhichhepresentednow。Shehadseenhim,theherooftheriver-race,thefirstandforemostmaninatrialofstrengthandskillwhichhadrousedtheenthusiasmofallEngland。Shehadseenhim,thecentralobjectoftheinterestofanation;theidolofthepopularworshipandthepopularapplause。_His_werethearmswhosemusclewascelebratedinthenewspapers。_He_wasfirstamongtheheroeshailedbytenthousandroaringthroatsastheprideandflowerofEngland。Awoman,inanatmosphereofred-hotenthusiasm,witnessestheapotheosisofPhysicalStrength。Isitreasonable——isitjust——toexpecthertoaskherself,incoldblood,Whatmorallyandintellectuallyisallthisworth?——andthat,whenthemanwhoistheobjectoftheapotheosis,noticesher,ispresentedtoher,findshertohistaste,andsinglesheroutfromtherest?No。Whilehumanityishumanity,thewomanisnotutterlywithoutexcuse。
Hassheescaped,withoutsufferingforit?
Lookatherasshestandsthere,torturedbytheknowledgeofherownsecret——thehideoussecretwhichsheishidingfromtheinnocentgirl,whomsheloveswithasister’slove。Lookather,boweddownunderahumiliationwhichisunutterableinwords。Shehasseenhimbelowthesurface——now,whenitistoolate。Sherateshimathistruevalue——now,whenherreputationisathismercy。Askherthequestion:Whatwastheretoloveinamanwhocanspeaktoyouasthatmanhasspoken,whocantreatyouasthatmanistreatingyounow?yousoclever,socultivated,sorefined——what,inHeaven’sname,could_you_seeinhim?Askherthat,andshewillhavenoanswertogive。Shewillnotevenremindyouthathewasonceyourmodelofmanlybeauty,too——thatyouwavedyourhandkerchieftillyoucouldwaveitnolonger,whenhetookhisseat,withtheothers,intheboat——thatyourheartwasliketojumpoutofyourbosom,onthatlateroccasionwhenheleapedthelasthurdleatthefoot-race,andwonitbyahead。Inthebitternessofherremorse,shewillnotevenseekfor_that_excuseforherself。Istherenoatoningsufferingtobeseenhere?Doyoursympathiesshrinkfromsuchacharacterasthis?Followher,goodfriendsofvirtue,onthepilgrimagethatleads,bysteepandthornyways,tothepureratmosphereandthenoblerlife。Yourfellow-creature,whohassinnedandhasrepented——youhavetheauthorityoftheDivineTeacherforit——isyourfellow-creature,purifiedandennobled。Ajoyamongtheangelsofheaven——oh,mybrothersandsistersoftheearth,haveInotlaidmyhandonafitcompanionforYou?
Therewasamomentofsilenceinthesummer-house。Thecheerfultumultofthelawn-partywaspleasantlyaudiblefromthedistance。Outside,thehumofvoices,thelaughterofgirls,thethumpofthecroquet-malletagainsttheball。Inside,nothingbutawomanforcingbackthebittertearsofsorrowandshame——andamanwhowastiredofher。
Sherousedherself。Shewashermother’sdaughter;andshehadasparkofhermother’sspirit。Herlifedependedontheissueofthatinterview。Itwasuseless——withoutfatherorbrothertotakeherpart——tolosethelastchanceofappealingtohim。Shedashedawaythetears——timeenoughtocry,istimeeasilyfoundinawoman’sexistence——shedashedawaythetears,andspoketohimagain,moregentlythanshehadspokenyet。
“Youhavebeenthreeweeks,Geoffrey,atyourbrotherJulius’splace,nottenmilesfromhere;andyouhaveneveronceriddenovertoseeme。Youwouldnothavecometo-day,ifIhadnotwrittentoyoutoinsistonit。IsthatthetreatmentIhavedeserved?“
Shepaused。Therewasnoanswer。
“Doyouhearme?“sheasked,advancingandspeakinginloudertones。
Hewasstillsilent。Itwasnotinhumanendurancetobearhiscontempt。Thewarningofacomingoutbreakbegantoshowitselfinherface。Hemetit,beforehand,withanimpenetrablefront。
Feelingnervousabouttheinterview,whilehewaswaitingintherose-garden——nowthathestoodcommittedtoit,hewasinfullpossessionofhimself。Hewascomposedenoughtorememberthathehadnotputhispipeinitscase——composedenoughtosetthatlittlematterrightbeforeothermatterswentanyfarther。Hetookthecaseoutofonepocket,andthepipeoutofanother。
“Goon,“hesaid,quietly。“Ihearyou。“
Shestruckthepipeoutofhishandatablow。Ifshehadhadthestrengthshewouldhavestruckhimdownwithitonthefloorofthesummer-house。
“Howdareyouusemeinthisway?“sheburstout,vehemently。
“Yourconductisinfamous。Defenditifyoucan!“
Hemadenoattempttodefendit。Helooked,withanexpressionofgenuineanxiety,atthefallenpipe。Itwasbeautifullycolored——ithadcosthimtenshillings。“I’llpickupmypipefirst,“hesaid。Hisfacebrightenedpleasantly——helookedhandsomerthanever——asheexaminedthepreciousobject,andputitbackinthecase。“Allright,“hesaidtohimself。“Shehasn’tbrokenit。“Hisattitudeashelookedatheragain,wastheperfectionofeasygrace——thegracethatattendsoncultivatedstrengthinastateofrepose。“Iputittoyourowncommon-sense,“hesaid,inthemostreasonablemanner,“what’sthegoodofbullyingme?Youdon’twantthemtohearyou,outonthelawnthere——doyou?Youwomenareallalike。There’snobeatingalittleprudenceintoyourheads,tryhowonemay。“
Therehewaited,expectinghertospeak。Shewaited,onherside,andforcedhimtogoon。
“Lookhere,“hesaid,“there’snoneedtoquarrel,youknow。I
don’twanttobreakmypromise;butwhatcanIdo?I’mnottheeldestson。I’mdependentonmyfatherforeveryfarthingIhave;
andI’monbadtermswithhimalready。Can’tyouseeityourself?
You’realady,andallthat,Iknow。Butyou’reonlyagoverness。
It’syourinterestaswellasminetowaittillmyfatherhasprovidedforme。Hereitisinanut-shell:ifImarryyounow,I’maruinedman。“
Theanswercame,thistime。
“Youvillainifyou_don’t_marryme,Iamaruinedwoman!“
“Whatdoyoumean?“
“YouknowwhatImean。Don’tlookatmeinthatway。“
“Howdoyouexpectmetolookatawomanwhocallsmeavillaintomyface?“
Shesuddenlychangedhertone。Thesavageelementinhumanity——letthemodernoptimistswhodoubtitsexistencelookatanyuncultivatedmannomatterhowmuscular,womannomatterhowbeautiful,orchildnomatterhowyoung——begantoshowitselffurtivelyinhiseyes,toutteritselffurtivelyinhisvoice。Washetoblameforthemannerinwhichhelookedatherandspoketoher?Nothe!Whathadtherebeeninthetrainingof_his_lifeatschooloratcollegetosoftenandsubduethesavageelementinhim?Aboutasmuchastherehadbeeninthetrainingofhisancestorswithouttheschoolorthecollege
fivehundredyearssince。
Itwasplainthatoneofthemmustgiveway。Thewomanhadthemostatstake——andthewomansettheexampleofsubmission。
“Don’tbehardonme,“shepleaded。“Idon’tmeantobehardon_you。_Mytempergetsthebetterofme。Youknowmytemper。IamsorryIforgotmyself。Geoffrey,mywholefutureisinyourhands。Willyoudomejustice?“
第15章