“Monday,thereweretheoddjobsaboutthehousetobebegun。Hewasbythistimejustsoberenoughtodohiswork,andjusttipsyenoughtotakeaspitefulpleasureinpersecutinghiswife。Hewentoutandgotthethingshewanted,andcamebackandcalledforme。Askilledworkmanlikehewashesaidwantedajourneymanunderhim。Therewerethingswhichitwasbeneathaskilledworkmantodoforhimself。Hewasnotgoingtocallinamanoraboy,andthenhavetopaythem。Hewasgoingtogetitdonefornothing,andhemeanttomakeajourneymanof_me。_Halftipsyandhalfsober,hewentontalkinglikethat,andlayingouthisthings,allquiteright,ashewantedthem。Whentheywerereadyhestraightenedhimselfup,andhegavemehisorderswhatIwastodo。
“Iobeyedhimtothebestofmyability。Whateverhesaid,andwhateverhedid,Iknewhewasgoingasstraightasmancouldgotohisowndeathbymyhands。
“Theratsandmicewerealloverthehouse,andtheplacegenerallywasoutofrepair。Heoughttohavebegunonthekitchen-floor;buthavingsentencepronouncedagainsthimhebeganintheemptyparlorsontheground-floor。
“Theseparlorswereseparatedbywhatiscalleda’lath-and-plasterwall。’Theratshaddamagedit。Atoneparttheyhadgnawedthroughandspoiledthepaper,atanotherparttheyhadnotgotsofar。Thelandlord’sordersweretosparethepaper,becausehehadsomebyhimtomatchit。Myhusbandbeganataplacewherethepaperwaswhole。UnderhisdirectionsI
mixedup——Iwon’tsaywhat。Withthehelpofithegotthepaperloosefromthewall,withoutinjuringitinanyway,inalonghangingstrip。Underitwastheplasterandthelaths,gnawedawayinplacesbytherats。Thoughstrictlyapaperhangerbytrade,hecouldbeplasterertoowhenheliked。Isawhowhecutawaytherottenlathsandrippedofftheplaster;andunderhisdirectionsagainImixedupthenewplasterhewanted,andhandedhimthenewlaths,andsawhowhesetthem。Iwon’tsayawordabouthowthiswasdoneeither。
“Ihaveareasonforkeepingsilencehere,whichis,tomymind,averydreadfulone。Ineverythingthatmyhusbandmademedothatdayhewasshowingmeblindfoldthewaytokillhim,sothatnolivingsoul,inthepoliceoroutofit,couldsuspectmeofthedeed。
“Wefinishedthejobonthewalljustbeforedark。Iwenttomycupoftea,andhewenttohisbottleofgin。
“Ilefthim,drinkinghard,toputourtwobedroomstidyforthenight。TheplacethathisbedhappenedtobesetinwhichIhadneverremarkedparticularlybeforeseemed,inamannerofspeaking,toforceitselfonmynoticenow。
“Theheadofthebedsteadwassetagainstthewallwhichdividedhisroomfrommine。FromlookingatthebedsteadIgottolookingatthewallnext。Thentowonderingwhatitwasmadeof。Thentorappingagainstitwithmyknuckles。Thesoundtoldmetherewasnothingbutlathandplasterunderthepaper。Itwasthesameasthewallwehadbeenatworkondownstairs。Wehadclearedourwaysofarthroughthislast——incertainplaceswheretherepairsweremostneeded——thatwehadtobecarefulnottoburstthroughthepaperintheroomontheotherside。Ifoundmyselfcallingtomindthecautionmyhusbandhadgivenmewhilewewereatthispartofthework,wordforwordashehadspokenit。_’Takecareyoudon’tfindyourhandsinthenextroom。’_Thatwaswhathehadsaiddownintheparlor。UpinhisbedroomIkeptonrepeatingitinmyownmind——withmyeyesallthewhileonthekey,whichhehadmovedtotheinnersideofthedoortolockhimselfin——tilltheknowledgeofwhatitmeantburstonmelikeaflashoflight。Ilookedatthewall,atthebedhead,atmyowntwohands——andIshiveredasifitwaswintertime。
“HoursmusthavepassedlikeminuteswhileIwasupstairsthatnight。Ilostallcountoftime。Whenmyhusbandcameupfromhisdrinking,hefoundmeinhisroom。
“Ileavetherestuntold,andpassonpurposelytothenextmorning。
“Nomortaleyesbutminewilleverseetheselines。Still,therearethingsawomancan’twriteofeventoherself。Ishallonlysaythis。Isufferedthelastandworstofmanyindignitiesatmyhusband’shands——attheverytimewhenIfirstsaw,setplainlybeforeme,thewaytotakehislife。Hewentouttowardnoonnextday,togohisroundsamongthepublichouses;mymindbeingthenstrunguptodelivermyselffromhim,forgoodandall,whenhecamebackatnight。
“Thethingswehadusedonthepreviousdaywereleftintheparlor。Iwasallbymyselfinthehouse,freetoputinpracticethelessonhehadtaughtme。Iprovedmyselfanaptscholar。
BeforethelampswerelitinthestreetIhadmyownwaypreparedinmybedroomandinhisforlayingmyownhandsonhim——afterhehadlockedhimselfupforthenight。
“Idon’trememberfeelingeitherfearordoubtthroughallthosehours。Isatdowntomybitofsupperwithnobetterandnoworseanappetitethanusual。TheonlychangeinmethatIcancalltomindwasthatIfeltasingularlongingtohavesomebodywithmetokeepmecompany。Havingnofriendtoaskin,Iwenttothestreetdoorandstoodlookingatthepeoplepassingthiswayandthat。
“Astraydog,sniffingabout,cameuptome。GenerallyIdislikedogsandbeastsofallkinds。Icalledthisoneinandgavehimhissupper。HehadbeentaughtIsupposetosituponhishind-legsandbegforfood;atanyrate,thatwashiswayofaskingmeformore。Ilaughed——itseemsimpossiblewhenIlookbackatitnow,butforallthatit’strue——Ilaughedtillthetearsrandownmycheeks,atthelittlebeastonhishaunches,withhisearsprickedupandhisheadononesideandhismouthwateringforthevictuals。IwonderwhetherIwasinmyrightsenses?Idon’tknow。
“Whenthedoghadgotallhecouldgethewhinedtobeletouttoroamthestreetsagain。
“AsIopenedthedoortoletthecreaturegohisways,Isawmyhusbandcrossingtheroadtocomein。’Keepout’Isaystohim;
’to-night,ofallnights,keepout。’Hewastoodrunktoheedme;
hepassedby,andblunderedhiswayupstairs。Ifollowedandlistened。Iheardhimopenhisdoor,andbangitto,andlockit。
Iwaitedabit,andwentupanotherstairortwo。Iheardhimdropdownontohisbed。Inaminutemorehewasfastasleepandsnoring。
“Ithadallhappenedasitwaswantedtohappen。Intwominutes——withoutdoingonesinglethingtobringsuspiciononmyself——Icouldhavesmotheredhim。Iwentintomyownroom。I
tookupthetowelthatIhadlaidready。Iwaswithinaninchofit——whentherecamearushofsomethingupintomyhead。Ican’tsaywhatitwas。Icanonlysaythehorrorslaidholdofmeandhuntedmethenandthereoutofthehouse。
“Iputonmybonnet,andslippedthekeyofthestreetdoorintomypocket。Itwasonlyhalfpastnine——ormaybeaquartertoten。
IfIhadanyoneclearnotioninmyhead,itwasthenotionofrunningaway,andneverallowingmyselftoseteyesonthehouseorthehusbandmore。
“Iwentupthestreet——andcameback。Iwentdownthestreet——andcameback。Itrieditathirdtime,andwentroundandroundandround——andcameback。ItwasnottobedoneThehouseheldmechainedtoitlikeadogtohiskennel。Icouldn’tkeepawayfromit。Forthelifeofme,Icouldn’tkeepawayfromit。
“Acompanyofgayyoungmenandwomenpassedme,justasIwasgoingtoletmyselfinagain。Theywereinagreathurry。’Stepout,’saysoneofthemen;’thetheatre’scloseby,andweshallbejustintimeforthefarce。’Iturnedaboutandfollowedthem。
Havingbeenpiouslybroughtup,Ihadneverbeeninsideatheatreinmylife。ItstruckmethatImightgettaken,asitwere,outofmyself,ifIsawsomethingthatwasquitestrangetome,andheardsomethingwhichwouldputnewthoughtsintomymind。
“Theywentintothepit;andIwentinafterthem。
“Thethingtheycalledthefarcehadbegun。Menandwomencameontothestage,turnandturnabout,andtalked,andwentoffagain。Beforelongallthepeopleaboutmeinthepitwerelaughingandclappingtheirhands。Thenoisetheymadeangeredme。Idon’tknowhowtodescribethestateIwasin。Myeyeswouldn’tserveme,andmyearswouldn’tserveme,toseeandtohearwhattherestofthemwereseeingandhearing。Theremusthavebeensomething,Ifancy,inmymindthatgotitselfbetweenmeandwhatwasgoingonuponthestage。Theplaylookedfairenoughonthesurface;buttherewasdangeranddeathatthebottomofit。Theplayersweretalkingandlaughingtodeceivethepeople——withmurderintheirmindsallthetime。Andnobodyknewitbutme——andmytonguewastiedwhenItriedtotelltheothers。Igotup,andranout。ThemomentIwasinthestreetmystepsturnedbackofthemselvesonthewaytothehouse。Icalledacab,andtoldthemantodriveasfarasashillingwouldtakemetheoppositeway。Heputmedown——Idon’tknowwhere。AcrossthestreetIsawaninscriptioninlettersofflameoveranopendoor。Themansaiditwasadancing-place。Dancingwasasnewtomeasplay-going。Ihadonemoreshillingleft;andIpaidtogoin,andseewhatasightofthedancingwoulddoforme。Thelightfromtheceilingpoureddowninthisplaceasifitwasallonfire。Thecrashingofthemusicwasdreadful。Thewhirlingroundandroundofmenandwomenineachother’sarmswasquitemaddeningtosee。Idon’tknowwhathappenedtomehere。Thegreatblazeoflightfromtheceilingturnedblood-redonasudden。ThemanstandinginfrontofthemusicianswavingasticktookthelikenessofSatan,asseeninthepictureinourfamilyBibleathome。Thewhirlingmenandwomenwentroundandround,withwhitefaceslikethefacesofthedead,andbodiesrobedinwinding-sheets。Iscreamedoutwiththeterrorofit;andsomepersontookmebythearmandputmeoutsidethedoor。Thedarknessdidmegood:itwascomfortinganddelicious——likeacoolhandlaidonahothead。Iwentwalkingonthroughit,withoutknowingwhere;composingmymindwiththebeliefthatI
hadlostmyway,andthatIshouldfindmyselfmilesdistantfromhomewhenmorningdawned。AftersometimeIgottoowearytogoon;andIsatmedowntorestonadoor-step。Idozedabit,andwokeup。WhenIgotonmyfeettogoonagain,Ihappenedtoturnmyheadtowardthedoorofthehouse。Thenumberonitwasthesamenumberanasours。Ilookedagain。Andbehold,itwasourstepsIhadbeenrestingon。Thedoorwasourdoor。
“AllmydoubtsandallmystrugglesdroppedoutofmymindwhenI
madethatdiscovery。Therewasnomistakingwhatthisperpetualcomingbacktothehousemeant。ResistitasImight,itwastobe。
“Iopenedthestreetdoorandwentupstairs,andheardhimsleepinghisheavysleep,exactlyasIhadheardhimwhenIwentout。Isatdownonmybedandtookoffmybonnet,quitequietinmyself,becauseIknewitwastobe。Idampedthetowel,andputitready,andtookaturnintheroom。
“Itwasjustthedawnofday。Thesparrowswerechirpingamongthetreesinthesquarehardby。
“Idrewupmyblind;thefaintlightspoketomeasifinwords,’Doitnow,beforeIgetbrighter,andshowtoomuch。’
“Ilistened。Thefriendlysilencehadawordformetoo:’Doitnow,andtrustthesecrettoMe。’
“Iwaitedtillthechurchclockchimedbeforestrikingthehour。
Atthefirststroke——withouttouchingthelockofhisdoor,withoutsettingfootinhisroom——Ihadthetoweloverhisface。
Beforethelaststrokehehadceasedstruggling。Whenthehumofthebellthroughthemorningsilencewasstillanddead,_he_wasstillanddeadwithit。
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