ThenGodfreytoldherthattherewassomethingelse,andindeedallaboutthebusiness。
“Well,thereyouare,andthere’snothingtobesaid,oratleastsomuchthatitcomestothesamething,“remarkedMrs。Parsons,inareflectivetone,whenhehadfinishedhisstory。“ButwhatIwanttoknow,“shewenton,“iswhythesekindofthingshappen。Youtwo——I
meanyouandMissIsobel——arejustfittedtoeachother,appointedtogetherbyNature,sotospeak,andfondasacoupleofdovesuponaperch。Sowhyshouldn’tyoutakeeachotherandhavedone?Whatistheretocomebetweenayoungmanandayoungwomansuchasyouare?“
“Idon’tknow,“groanedGodfrey。
“No,nordon’tI;andyetsomethingdoescomebetween。What’sthemeaningofitall?Whydothingsalwaysgocussedinthis’ereworld?
Isthereadevilaboutwhatmanagesit,orisitjustchance?Whyshouldn’tpeoplehavewhattheywantandwhenit’swanted,insteadofbeingforcedtowaituntilperhapsitisn’t,orcan’tbeenjoyed,oroftenenoughtoloseitaltogether?Youcan’tanswer,andnorcan’tI;
onlyattimesIdothink,notwithstandingallmyChristianteachingsandhundredsandhundredsofyourfather’ssermons,thatthedevil,he’stop-doghere。Andasforthatthereforeignwomanwhoseletteryou’vereadtome,she’shishousemaid。NotbutwhatI’msureitwillallcomerightatlast,“sheadded,withanattemptatcheerfulness。
“Ihopeso,“repliedGodfrey,withoutconviction,andwenttobed。
Presentlyhedescendedfromhisroomagain,bearingapill-boxinwhichwasenclosedacertainringthatyearsbeforehehadboughtatLucerne,aringsetwithtwoheartsofturquoise。
“Ipromisednottowrite,“hesaid,“butyoumightaddressthistoher。She’llknowwhatitis,forItoldheraboutit。“
“Yes,“saidMrs。Parsons,“theyoungladyshallhavethatboxofpills。Beingupset,itmaydohergood。“
InduecourseIsobeldidhaveit;alsotheboxcamebackaddressedtoMrs。Parsons。Initwasanotherring,asimplebandofancientgold——
asamatteroffact,itwasRoman,abetrothalringoftwothousandyearsago。Rounditwasascrapofpaperonwhichwaswritten:
“Thiswasdugupinagrave。Mygreat-grandmothergaveittomygreat-grandfatherwhentheybecameengagedaboutahundredyearsago,andheworeitallhislife,asinabygoneagesomeoneelsehaddone。Nowthegreat-granddaughtergivesittoanother。Lethimwearitallhislife,whateverhappenstoher,ortohim。Thenletitgotothegraveagain,perhapstobewornbyothersfarcenturieshence。“
Godfreyunderstoodandsetitonthethirdfingerofhislefthand,whereitremainednightandday,andyearbyyear。
Sothatmatterended,andafterwardscamesilenceanddarknesswhichenduredfortenyearsormore。Fromhisfatherheheardnothing,noronhispartdidheeverwritetohimagain。IndeedthefirstnewsconcerninghimwhichreachedGodfreywasthatofhisdeathwhichhappenedsomesevenyearslater,apparentlyafterabriefillness。
Evenofthishewouldnothavelearned,sincenoonetookthetroubletoputitinanypaperthathesaw,haditnotchancedthattheRev。
Mr。Knightdiedintestate,andthatthereforehissmallbelongingsdescendedtoGodfreyashisnaturalheir。Withthemwereanumberofpapers,amongwhichintheafterdaysGodfreyfoundtheveryletterthatIsobelwrotetohimwhichhisfather“posted“inhisdesk。
Forhissontherewasnoword,acircumstancethatshowedtheimplacabilityofthisman’scharacter。NotwithstandinghiscontinualprofessionofthehighestChristianprincipleshecouldneverforgetorforgive,andthisalthoughitwashewhowasinfault。ForwhatwronghadGodfreydonetohiminlovingawomanwhomhedidnotchancetolike?Sohediedsilent,bearinghisresentmenttothegrave。AndyetsomeoddsenseofjusticepreventedhimfromrobbingGodfreyofhislittleinheritance,somethingundertwothousandpounds,thatcameonapolicyofinsuranceandcertainsavings,asumwhichinafteryearswhenmoneywasplentifulwithhimGodfreyappointedtotherepairandbeautifyingoftheAbbeyChurchatMonk’sAcre。
Strangelyenough,althoughfromhischildhoodtheyhadbeenalwaysestranged,Godfreyfeltthisconductofhisfatherverymuchindeed。
Itseemeddreadfultohimthatheshouldvanishthusintothedarkness,takinghiswrathwithhim;andoftenhewonderedifitstillanimatedhimthere。Alsohewonderedwhatcouldbethepossiblepurposeofitall,andindeedwhyhisfatherwassofashionedthathecouldgrowvenomousoversuchamatter。Toallofwhichquestionsnoanswercame,althoughonesuggesteditselftohim——namely,thathewasthevictimofsomehereditarytaint,andthereforenotinfacttoblame。
InthecaseofIsobelthedarknesswasequallydense,forbothofthemkepttheirword,andwiththesingleexceptionoftheepisodeoftheexchangeofrings,neitherattemptedtocommunicatewiththeotherdirectlyorindirectly。FromMrs。ParsonsheheardthatHawk’sHallwasshutup,andthatSirJohnandhisdaughterlivedmostlyinLondonorataplacethattheformerhadboughtinScotland。OnceindeedMrs。
Parsonsdidwrite,orgotsomeoneelsetowrite,tohimthatshehadseenIsobeldrivepastherinthestreet,andthatshelookedwell,thoughrather“sternandquiet-like。“
ThatwasallthenewsGodfreyhadofIsobelduringthosetenyears,sinceshewasnotapersonwhoadvertisedhermovementsinthepapers,althoughforhersakehebecameagreatstudentofsocietygossip。
Alsohereadwithcareallannouncementsofengagementsandmarriagesin/TheTimes/,andthedeaths,too,forthematterofthat,buthappilyquitewithoutresult。Indeedinviewofherdeclarationheoughttohavebeen,and,infact,was,ashamedofhisresearch;butthen,whocouldbequitesureofanythinginthisworld?
SirJohn,heknew,wasliving,becausefromtimetotimehesawhisnameinlistsofsubscriptionsofasortthatappearunderroyalpatronageandarelargelyadvertised。
Sobetweenthesetwoswungaveilofdarkness,although,hadhebutknownit,thiswasnotnearlysoimpenetrabletoIsobelastohimself。
Somehow——possiblyArthurThorburnhadfriendswithwhomhecorrespondedinEnglandwhoknewIsobel——sheacquiredinformationastoeverydetailofhiscareer。Indeedwhenhecametolearneverythinghewasabsolutelyamazedattheparticularswithwhichshewasacquainted,whereoftherewerecertainthathewouldhavepreferredtohavekepttohimself。Butshehadthemall,withdatesandsurroundingcircumstancesandtherest;thousandsofmilesofoceanhadbeennobartohersearchinggaze。
Forhisparthewasnotwithoutconsolations,since,strangelyenough,heneverfeltasifshewerelosttohim,orindeedfaraway;itwasalwaysasthoughshewereinthenextroom,oratanyrateinthenextstreet。Thereareindividualsofsensitivemind,andhewasoneofthem,whoknowwellenoughwhensuchatotallosshasoccurred。Ithasbeenwellsaidthatthedeadareneverreallydeadtousuntiltheyareforgotten,andthesameappliestotheliving。Whiletheyrememberus,theyareneversoveryfaraway,andwhatismorewe,orsomeofus,arequiteawareiftheyhaveceasedtoremember,forthenthedoorisshutandthedoorwaybuiltupandourheartstellusthatthishasbeendone。
InGodfrey’scasewithIsobel,notonlydidthedoorwayremainedunfilled——thedooritselfwasalwaysajar。Althoughseasdividedthemandoverthesenowhispercame,yethefeltherthoughtleapingtohimacrosstheworld。Especiallydidthishappenatnightwhenhelaidhimselfdowntosleep,perhapsbecausethenhismindwasmostreceptive,andsincetheirhoursofgoingtorestmusthavebeendifferent,hebeinginIndiaandsheinEngland,shecouldscarcelyhavebeenreflectingonhimashefondlybelieved,atthemomentwhenshe,too,enteredintotheworldcalledsleep。
Therefore,eitheritwasallimaginationorhecaughtherwakingthoughts,orperhapsthosethathauntedheruponthisborderlandweredelayeduntilhissubtlerbeingcouldinterpretthem。Whoknows?Atleast,unlesssomethinghadhappenedtodisturbhim,thosenightswererarewhenashewasshuttinghiseyes,GodfreydidnotseemtobesensibleofIsobel’spresence。Atanyrate,heknewthatshehadnotforgotten;heknewthatsomewhereinthevastworldshewaseverthinkingofhimwithmoreintensitythanshethoughtofanyothermanorthing。Andduringallthoselonelyyearsthisknowledgeorbeliefwashisgreatestcomfort。
NotthatGodfrey’slifeinIndiawasinanywayunhappy。Onthecontraryitwasafullandactivelife。Heworkedhardathisprofessionandsucceededinittoalimitedextent,andhehadhisfriends,especiallyhisgreatfriendArthurThorburn,whoalwaysclungtohim。Hehadhisflirtationsalso;beingamanofsusceptibilitywhowaspopularwithwomen,howcouldtheybeavoided?ForaboveallthingsGodfreywasaman,notahermitorasaintoran?sthete,butjustamanwithmoregiftsofasortthanhavesomeothers。Helivedthelifeoftherest,hehunted,heshottigers,doingthosethingsthattheAnglo-Indianofficerdoes,butallthesamehestudied。
Whetheritwereofhistradeofsoldiering,orofthenatives,orofEasternthoughtandlaw,hewasalwayslearningsomething,tillatlastheknewagreatdeal,oftenhewonderedtowhatend。
Andyet,withallhisfriendsandacquaintances,inawayheremainedaverylonelyman,asthosewhoarealittleoutoftheordinaryoftendo。Inthecommongroovewerubagainsttheothermarblesrunningdownit,butonceweleapoveritsedge,thenwherearewe?Wecannotwanderoffintospacebecauseoftheattractionoftheearththatissoneartous,andyetwearealoneintheairuntilwithabumpwemeetournativeground。Thereforeforthemostofusthegrooveismuchbetter。Andyetsomewholeaveithavebeencarriedelsewhere,ifonlyforalittlewhile,likeSt。Paulintothethirdheaven。
第45章