AbideinLondon,MasterRidd,andhewillmakethyfortune。Hisjokeuponthynameprovesthat。AndI
prayyouremember,MasterRidd,thattheSpanksaresixteeninfamily。’
ButIwouldnottakethebagfromhim,regardingitasasortofbribetopaymesuchalumpofmoney,withoutsomuchasaskinghowgreathadbeenmyexpenses。
ThereforeIonlytoldhimthatifhewouldkindlykeepthecashformeuntilthemorrow,Iwouldspendtherestofthedayincountingwhichalwaysissoreworkwithmehowmuchithadstoodmeinboardandlodging,sinceMasterStickleshadrenderedmeup;foruntilthattimehehadbornemyexpenses。InthemorningI
wouldgiveMr。Spankamemorandum,dulysigned,andattestedbymylandlord,includingthebreakfastofthatday,andinexchangeforthisIwouldtaketheexactamountfromtheyellowbag,andbeverythankfulforit。
’Ifthatisthywayofusingopportunity,’saidSpank,lookingatmewithsomecontempt,’thouwiltneverthriveinthesetimes,mylad。EventheLordChiefJusticecanbelittlehelptothee;unlessthouknowestbetterthanthathowtohelpthyself’
Itmatterednottome。Theword’approver’stuckinmygorge,asusedbytheLordChiefJustice;forwelookeduponanapproverasaverylowthingindeed。Iwouldratherpayforeverybreakfast,andeveneverydinner,eatenbymesincehereIcame,thantakemoneyasanapprover。AndindeedIwasmuchdisappointedatbeingtakeninthatlight,havingunderstoodthatIwassentforasatrustysubject,andhumblefriendofHisMajesty。
InthemorningImetMr。Spankwaitingformeattheentrance,andverydesiroustoseeme。Ishowedhimmybill,madeoutinfaircopy,andhelaughedatit,andsaid,’Takeittwiceover,MasterRidd;onceforthineownsake,andonceforHisMajesty’s;asallhisloyaltradesmendo,whentheycangetany。HisMajestyknowsandisproudofit,foritshowstheirloveofhiscountenance;andhesays,“bisdatquicitodat,“thenhowcanIgrumbleatgivingtwice,whenIgivesoslowly?’
’Nay,Iwilltakeitbutonce,’Isaid;’ifHisMajestylovestoberobbed,heneednotlackofhisdesire,whiletheSpanksaresixteeninfamily。’
Theclerksmiledcheerfullyatthis,beingproudofhischildren’sability;andthenhavingpaidmyaccount,hewhispered,——
’Heisallalonethismorning,John,andinraregoodhumour。HehathbeenpromisedthehandlingofpoorMasterAlgernonSidney,andhesayshewillsoonmakerepublicofhim;forhisstateshallshortlybeheadless。Heischucklingoverhisjoke,likeapigwithanut;andthatalwaysmakeshimpleasant。JohnRidd,mylord!’Withthatheswungupthecurtainbravely,andaccordingtospecialorders,Istood,facetoface,andalonewithJudgeJeffreys。
Hislordshipwasbusywithsomeletters,anddidnotlookupforaminuteortwo,althoughheknewthatI
wasthere。MeanwhileIstoodwaitingtomakemybow;
afraidtobeginuponhim,andwonderingathisgreatbull-head。Thenheclosedhisletters,well-pleasedwiththeirimport,andfixedhisboldbroadstareonme,asifIwereanoysteropened,andhewouldknowhowfreshIwas。
’Mayitpleaseyourworship,’Isaid,’hereIamaccordingtoorder,awaitingyourgoodpleasure。’
’Thouartmadetoweight,John,morethanorder。Howmuchdostthoutipthescalesto?’
’Onlytwelvescorepounds,mylord,whenIbeinwrestlingtrim。AndsureImusthavelostweighthere,frettingsolonginLondon。’
’Ha,ha!Muchfretisthereinthee!HathHisMajestyseenthee?’
’Yes,mylord,twiceoreventhrice;andhemadesomejestconcerningme。’
’Averybadone,Idoubtnot。Hishumourisnotsodaintyasmine,butapttobecoarseandunmannerly。
NowJohn,orJack,bythelookofthee,thouartmoreusedtobecalled。’
’Yes,yourworship,whenIamwitholdMollyandBettyMuxworthy。’
’Peace,thouforwardvarlet!Thereisadealtoomuchofthee。Weshallhavetotryshortcommonswiththee,andthouartaverylongcommon。Ha,ha!WhereisthatrogueSpank?Spankmusthearthatby-and-by。
Itisbeyondthygreatthickhead,Jack。’
’Notso,mylord;Ihavebeenatschool,andhadverybadjokesmadeuponme。’
’Ha,ha!Ithathhittheehard。Andfaith,itwouldbehardtomissthee,evenwithharpoon。Andthoulookestliketoblubber,now。Capital,infaith!Ihavetheeoneveryside,Jack,andthysidesaremanifold;
many-foldedatanyrate。Thoushalthavedoubleexpenses,Jack,forthewitthouhastprovokedinme。’
’Heavygoodslackheavypayment,isaproverbdownourway,mylord。’
’Ah,Ihurtthee,Ihurtthee,Jack。Theharpoonhathnotickleforthee。Now,JackWhale,havinghauledtheehard,wewillproceedtoexaminethee。’Hereallhismannerwaschanged,andhelookedwithhisheavybrowsbentuponme,asifhehadneverlaughedinhislife,andwouldallownoneelsetodoso。
’Iamreadytoanswer,mylord,’Ireplied,’ifheasksmenoughtbeyondmyknowledge,orbeyondmyhonour。’
’Hadstbetteranswermeeverything,lump。Whathastthoutodowithhonour?Nowisthereinthyneighbourhoodacertainnestofrobbers,miscreants,andoutlaws,whomallmenfeartohandle?’
’Yes,mylord。Atleast,Ibelievesomeofthemberobbers,andallofthemareoutlaws。’
’Andwhatisyourhighsheriffabout,thathedothnothangthemall?Orsendthemupformetohang,withoutmoretodoaboutthem?’
’Ireckonthatheisafraid,mylord;itisnotsafetomeddlewiththem。Theyareofgoodbirth,andreckless;andtheirplaceisverystrong。’
’Goodbirth!WhatwasLordRussellof,LordEssex,andthisSidney?’Tisthesurestheirshiptotheblocktobethechipofagoodone。Whatisthenameofthispestilentrace,andhowmanyofthemarethere?’
’TheyaretheDoonesofBagworthyforest,mayitpleaseyourworship。Andwereckontherebeaboutfortyofthem,besidethewomenandchildren。’
’FortyDoones,allfortythieves!andwomenandchildren!ThunderofGod!Howlonghavetheybeentherethen?’
’Theymayhavebeentherethirtyyears,mylord;andindeedtheymayhavebeenforty。Beforethegreatwarbrokeouttheycame,longerbackthanIcanremember。’
’Ay,longbeforethouwastborn,John。Good,thouspeakestplainly。Woebetidealiar,whensoIgetholdofhim。YewantmeontheWesternCircuit;byGod,andyeshallhaveme,whenLondontraitorsarespunandswung。ThereisafamilycalledDeWhichehalselivingverynighthee,John?’
Thishesaidinasuddenmanner,asiftotakemeoffmyguard,andfixedhisgreatthickeyesonme。AndintruthIwasmuchastonished。
’Yes,mylord,thereis。Atleast,notsoveryfarfromus。BarondeWhichehalse,ofLeyManor。’
’Baron,ha!oftheExchequer——eh,lad?AndtakethduesinsteadofHisMajesty。Somewhatwhichhaltsthereoughttocomealittlefurther,Itrow。Itshallbeseento,aswellasthewitchwhichmakesitsotohalt。RiotousknavesinWestEngland,drunkenoutlaws,youshalldance,ifeverIplaypipeforyou。JohnRidd,IwillcometoOareparish,androutouttheOareofBabylon。’
’Althoughyourworshipissolearned,’Iansweredseeingthatnowhewasbeginningtomakethingsuneasy;
’yourworship,thoughbeingChiefJustice,doeslittlejusticetous。Wearedownrightgoodandloyalfolk;
andIhavenotseen,sincehereIcametothisgreattownofLondon,anywhomaybetterus,orevencomeanighus,inhonesty,andgoodness,anddutytoourneighbours。Forweareveryquietfolk,notpratingourownvirtues——’
’Enough,goodJohn,enough!Knowestthounotthatmodestyisthemaidenhoodofvirtue,lostevenbyherownapproval?NowhastthoueverheardorthoughtthatDeWhichehalseisinleaguewiththeDoonesofBagworthy?’
Sayingthesewordsratherslowly,heskeweredhisgreateyesintomine,sothatIcouldnotthinkatall,neitherlookathim,noryetaway。Theideawassonewtomethatitsetmywitsallwandering;andlookingintome,hesawthatIwasgropingforthetruth。
’JohnRidd,thineeyesareenoughforme。Iseethouhastneverdreamedofit。NowhastthoueverseenamanwhosenameisThomasFaggus?’
’Yes,sir,manyandmanyatime。Heismyownworthycousin;andIfearhethathathintentions’——hereI
stopped,havingnorighttheretospeakaboutourAnnie。
’TomFaggusisagoodman,’hesaid;andhisgreatsquarefacehadasmilewhichshowedmehehadmetmycousin;’MasterFaggushathmademistakesastothetitletoproperty,aslawyersoftentimesmaydo;buttakehimallforall,heisathoroughlystraightforwardman;presentshisbill,andhasitpaid,andmakesnochargefordrawingit。
Nevertheless,wemusttaxhiscosts,asofanyothersolicitor。’
’Tobesure,tobesure,mylord!’wasallthatIcouldsay,notunderstandingwhatallthismeant。
’Ifearhewillcometothegallows,’saidtheLordChiefJustice,sinkinghisvoicebelowtheechoes;
’tellhimthisfromme,Jack。Heshallneverbecondemnedbeforeme;butIcannotbeeverywhere,andsomeofourJusticesmaykeepshortmemoryofhisdinners。Tellhimtochangehisname,turnparson,ordosomethingelse,tomakeitwrongtohanghim。
Parsonisthebestthing,hehathsuchcommandoffeatures,andhemighttakehistithesonhorseback。
Nowafewmorethings,JohnRidd;andforthepresentI
havedonewiththee。’
Allmyheartleapedupatthis,togetawayfromLondonso:andyetIcouldhardlytrusttoit。
’IsthereanysoundroundyourwayofdisaffectiontoHisMajesty,HismostgraciousMajesty?’
’No,mylord:nosignwhatever。Weprayforhiminchurchperhaps,andwetalkabouthimafterwards,hopingitmaydohimgood,asitisintended。Butafterthatwehavenaughttosay,notknowingmuchabouthim——atleasttillIgethomeagain。’
’Thatisasitshouldbe,John。Andthelessyousaythebetter。ButIhaveheardofthingsinTaunton,andevennearertoyouinDulverton,andevennigherstilluponExmoor;thingswhichareofthepillorykind,andevenmoreofthegallows。Iseethatyouknownaughtofthem。Nevertheless,itwillnotbelongbeforeallEnglandhearsofthem。Now,John,Ihavetakenalikingtothee,fornevermantoldmethetruth,withoutfearorfavour,morethoroughlyandtrulythanthouhastdone。Keepthouclearofthis,myson。Itwillcometonothing;yetmanyshallswinghighforit。EvenIcouldnotsavethee,JohnRidd,ifthouwertmixedinthisaffair。KeepfromtheDoones,keepfromDeWhichehalse,keepfromeverythingwhichleadsbeyondthesightofthyknowledge。Imeanttousetheeasmytool;butIseethouarttoohonestandsimple。Iwillsendasharperdown;butneverletmefindthee,John,eitheratoolfortheotherside,oratubeformywordstopassthrough。’
HeretheLordJusticegavemesuchaglarethatI
wishedmyselfwellridofhim,thoughthankfulforhiswarnings;andseeinghowhehadmadeuponmealongabidingmarkoffear,hesmiledagaininajocularmanner,andsaid,——
’Now,gettheegone,Jack。Ishallrememberthee;andItrow,thouwilt’stnotformanyadayforgetme。’
’Mylord,Iwasneversogladtogo;forthehaymustbein,andthericksunthatched,andnoneofthemcanmakesparslikeme,andtwomentotwisteveryhay-rope,andmotherthinkingitallright,andlisteningrightandlefttolies,andcheatedateverypigshekills,andeventheskinsofthesheeptogo——’
’JohnRidd,Ithoughtnonecouldcomenighyourfolkinhonesty,andgoodness,anddutytotheirneighbours!’
’Sureenough,mylord;butbyourfolk,Imeanourselves,notthemennorwomenneither——’
’Thatwilldo,John。Gothyway。Notmen,norwomenneither,arebetterthantheyneedbe。’
Iwishedtosetthismatterright;buthisworshipwouldnothearme,andonlydrovemeoutofcourt,sayingthatmenwerethievesandliars,nomoreinoneplacethananother,butallalikeallovertheworld,andwomennotfarbehindthem。ItwasnotformetodisputethispointthoughIwasnotyetpersuadedofit,bothbecausemylordwasaJudge,andmustknowmoreaboutit,andalsothatbeingamanmyselfImightseemtobedefendingmyselfinanunbecomingmanner。
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