’Enough,John;quiteenough,’hecried,’Icanreaditinthycountenance。Honestyiswrittenthere,andcourageandsimplicity。ButIfearthat,inthistownofLondon,thouartapttobetakeninbypeopleofnoprinciple。Ahme!Ahme!Theworldisbad,andIamtoooldtoimproveit。’
Thenfindinghimsogoodandkind,andanxioustoimprovetheage,Itoldhimalmosteverything;howmuchIpaidthefellmonger,andallthethingsIhadbeentosee;andhowIlongedtogetaway,beforethecornwasripening;yethowdespiteofthesedesiresIfeltmyselfboundtowalkupanddown,beingunderathingcalled’recognisance。’Inshort,Itoldhimeverything;
exceptthenatureofmysummonswhichIhadnorighttotell,andthatIwasoutofmoney。
Mytalewastoldinalittlearchway,apartfromotherlawyers;andtheotherlawyersseemedtometoshiftthemselves,andtolookaskew,likesheepthroughahurdle,whentherestarefeeding。
’What!GoodGod!’mylawyercried,smitinghisbreastindignantlywitharollofsomethinglearned;’inwhatcountrydowelive?Underwhatlawsarewegoverned?
Nocasebeforethecourtwhatever;noprimarydeposition,sofaraswearefurnished;notevenaKing’swritissued——andherewehaveafineyoungmandraggedfromhishomeandadoringmother,duringtheheightofagriculture,athisowncostandcharges!I
haveheardofmanygrievances;butthistheveryworstofall。NothingshortofaRoyalCommissioncouldbewarrantyforit。Thisisnotonlyillegal,sir,butmostgravelyunconstitutional。’
’Ihadnottoldyou,worthysir,’Iansweredhim,inalowertone,’ifIcouldhavethoughtthatyoursenseofrightwouldbemovedsopainfully。ButnowImustbegtoleaveyou,sir——forIseethatthedooragainisopen。Ibegyou,worshipfulsir,toaccept——’
Uponthisheputforthhishandandsaid,’Nay,nay,myson,nottwo,nottwo:’yetlookingaway,thathemightnotscareme。
’Toaccept,kindsir,myverybestthanks,andmostrespectfulremembrances。’Andwiththat,Ilaidmyhandinhis。’Andif,sir,anycircumstancesofbusinessorofpleasureshouldbringyoutoourpartoftheworld,ItrustyouwillnotforgetthatmymotherandmyselfifeverIgethomeagainwilldoourbesttomakeyoucomfortablewithourpoorhospitality。’
WiththisIwashastingawayfromhim,butheheldmyhandandlookedroundatme。Andhespokewithoutcordiality。
’Youngman,ageneralinvitationisnoentryformyfeebook。Ihavespentagoodhourofbusiness-timeinmasteringthycase,andstatingmyopinionofit。Andbeingamemberofthebar,calledsix-and-thirtyyearsagonebythehonourablesocietyoftheInnerTemple,myfeeisatmyowndiscretion;albeitanhonorarium。Forthehonouroftheprofession,andmypositioninit,I
oughttochargetheeatleastfiveguineas,althoughI
wouldhaveacceptedone,offeredwithgoodwillanddelicacy。NowIwillenterittwo,myson,andhalfacrownformyclerk’sfee。’
Sayingthis,hedrewforthfromhisdeep,bluebag,aredbookhavingclaspstoit,andendorsedingoldletters’Fee-book’;andbeforeIcouldspeakbeingfrightenedsohehadenteredonapageofit,’ToconsiderationofeaseasstatedbyJohnRidd,andadvisingthereupon,twoguineas。’
’Butsir,goodsir,’Istammeredforth,nothavingtwoguineasleftintheworld,yetgrievingtoconfessit,’IknewnotthatIwastopay,learnedsir。Ineverthoughtofitinthatway。’
’WoundsofGod!Inwhatwaythoughtyouthatalawyerlistenedtoyourrigmarole?’
’Ithoughtthatyoulistenedfromkindness,sir,andcompassionofmygrievouscase,andasortoflikingforme。’
’Alawyerlikethee,youngcurmudgeon!Alawyeraffordtofeelcompassiongratis!Eitherthouartaverydeepknave,orthegreenestofallgreenhorns。Well,I
suppose,Imustlettheeoffforoneguinea,andtheclerk’sfee。Abadbusiness,ashockingbusiness!’
Now,ifthismanhadcontinuedkindandsoft,aswhenheheardmystory,Iwouldhavepawnedmyclothestopayhim,ratherthanleaveadebtbehind,althoughcontractedunwittingly。Butwhenheusedharshlanguageso,knowingthatIdidnotdeserveit,Ibegantodoubtwithinmyselfwhetherhedeservedmymoney。
ThereforeIansweredhimwithsomereadiness,suchascomessometimestome,althoughIamsoslow。
’Sir,Iamnocurmudgeon:ifayoungmanhadcalledmeso,itwouldnothavebeenwellwithhim。Thismoneyshallbepaid,ifdue,albeitIhadnodesiretoincurthedebt。YouhaveadvisedmethattheCourtisliableformyexpenses,sofarastheybereasonable。Ifthisbeareasonableexpense,comewithmenowtoLordJusticeJeffreys,andreceivefromhimthetwoguineas,oritmaybefive,forthecounselyouhavegivenmetodenyhisjurisdiction。’Withthesewords,Itookhisarmtoleadhim,forthedoorwasopenstill。
’InthenameofGod,boy,letmego。Worthysir,prayletmego。Mywifeissick,andmydaughterdying——inthenameofGod,sir,letmego。’
’Nay,nay,’Isaid,havingfastholdofhim,’Icannotlettheegounpaid,sir。Rightisright;andthoushalthaveit。’
’RuiniswhatIshallhave,boy,ifyoudragmebeforethatdevil。Hewillstrikemefromthebaratonce,andstarveme,andallmyfamily。Here,lad,goodlad,takethesetwoguineas。Thouhastdespoiledthespoiler。NeveragainwillItrustmineeyesforknowledgeofagreenhorn。’
HeslippedtwoguineasintothehandwhichIhadhookedthroughhiselbow,andspokeinanurgentwhisperagain,forthepeoplecamecrowdingaroundus——’ForGod’ssakeletmego,boy;anothermomentwillbetoolate。’
’Learnedsir,’Iansweredhim,’twiceyouspoke,unlessIerr,ofthenecessityofaclerk’sfee,asathingtobelamented。’
’Tobesure,tobesure,myson。YouhaveaclerkasmuchasIhave。Thereitis。NowIpraythee,taketothestudyofthelaw。Possessionisninepointsofit,whichthouhastofme。Self-possessionisthetenth,andthatthouhastmorethantheothernine。’
Beingflatteredbythis,andbythefeelingofthetwoguineasandhalf-crown,IdroppedmyholduponCounsellorKitchforhewasnolessamanthanthat,andhewasoutofsightinasecondoftime,wig,bluebag,andfamily。AndbeforeIhadtimetomakeupmymindwhatIshoulddowithhismoneyforofcourseI
meantnottokeepitthecrieroftheCourtastheytoldmecameout,andwantedtoknowwhoIwas。I
toldhim,asshortlyasIcould,thatmybusinesslaywithHisMajesty’sbench,andwasveryconfidential;
uponwhichhetookmeinsidewithwarning,andshowedmetoanunder-clerk,whoshowedmetoahigherone,andthehigherclerktotheheadone。
WhenthisgentlemanunderstoodallaboutmybusinesswhichItoldhimwithoutcomplainthefrownedatmeveryheavily,asifIhaddonehimaninjury。
’JohnRidd,’heaskedmewithasternglance,’isityourdeliberatedesiretobebroughtintothepresenceoftheLordChiefJustice?’
’Surely,sir,ithasbeenmydesireforthelasttwomonthsandmore。’
’Then,John,thoushaltbe。Butmindonething,notawordofthylongdetention,orthoumaystgetintotrouble。’
’How,sir?Forbeingdetainedagainstmyownwish?’I
askedhim;butheturnedaway,asifthatmatterwerenotworthhisarguing,as,indeed,Isupposeitwasnot,andledmethroughalittlepassagetoadoorwithacurtainacrossit。
’Now,ifmyLordcross-questionyou,’thegentlemanwhisperedtome,’answerhimstraightouttruthatonce,forhewillhaveitoutofthee。Andmind,helovesnottobecontradicted,neithercanhebearahang-doglook。Takelittleheedoftheothertwo;butnoteeverywordofthemiddleone;andnevermakehimspeaktwice。’
Ithankedhimforhisgoodadvice,ashemovedthecurtainandthrustmein,butinsteadofenteringwithdrew,andleftmetobearthebruntofit。
Thechamberwasnotverylarge,thoughloftytomyeyes,anddark,withwoodenpanelsroundit。Atthefurtherendweresomeraisedseats,suchasIhaveseeninchurches,linedwithvelvet,andhavingbroadelbows,andacanopyoverthemiddleseat。Therewereonlythreemensittinghere,oneinthecentre,andoneoneachside;andallthreeweredoneupwonderfullywithfur,androbesofstate,andcurlsofthickgrayhorsehair,crimpedandgathered,andplaiteddowntotheirshoulders。Eachmanhadanoakdeskbeforehim,setatalittledistance,andspreadwithpensandpapers。Insteadofwriting,however,theyseemedtobelaughingandtalking,orrathertheoneinthemiddleseemedtobetellingsomegoodstory,whichtheothersreceivedwithapproval。Byreasonoftheirgreatperukesitwashardtotellhowoldtheywere;buttheonewhowasspeakingseemedtheyoungest,althoughhewasthechiefofthem。Athick-set,burly,andbulkyman,withablotchybroadface,andgreatsquarejaws,andfierceeyesfullofblazes;hewasonetobedreadedbygentlesouls,andtobeabhorredbythenoble。
Betweenmeandthethreelordjudges,somefewlawyersweregatheringupbagsandpapersandpensandsoforth,fromanarrowtableinthemiddleoftheroom,asifacasehadbeendisposedof,andnootherwerecalledon。ButbeforeIhadtimetolookroundtwice,thestoutfiercemanespiedme,andshoutedoutwithaflashingstare’——
’Hownow,countryman,whoartthou?’
’Mayitpleaseyourworship,’Iansweredhimloudly,’I
amJohnRidd,ofOareparish,intheshireofSomerset,broughttothisLondon,sometwomonthsbackbyaspecialmessenger,whosenameisJeremyStickles;andthenboundovertobeathandandready,whencalledupontogiveevidence,inamatterunknowntome,buttouchingthepeaceofourlordtheKing,andthewell-beingofhissubjects。ThreetimesIhavemetourlordtheKing,buthehathsaidnothingabouthispeace,andonlyheldittowardsme,andeveryday,saveSunday,IhavewalkedupanddownthegreathallofWestminster,allthebusinesspartoftheday,expectingtobecalledupon,yetnoonehathcalleduponme。AndnowIdesiretoaskyourworship,whetherImaygohomeagain?’
’Well,done,John,’repliedhislordship,whileIwaspantingwithallthisspeech;’Iwillgobailforthee,John,thouhastnevermadesuchalongspeechbefore;
andthouartaspunkyBriton,orthoucouldstnothavemadeitnow。Irememberthematterwell,andImyselfwillattendtoit,althoughitarosebeforemytime’——
hewasbutnewlyChiefJustice——’butIcannottakeitnow,John。Thereisnofearoflosingthee,John,anymorethantheTowerofLondon。IgrieveforHisMajesty’sexchequer,afterkeepingtheetwomonthsormore。’
’Nay,mylord,Icraveyourpardon。Mymotherhathbeenkeepingme。NotagroathaveIreceived。’
’Spank,isitso?’hislordshipcried,inavoicethatshookthecobwebs,andthefrownonhisbrowshooktheheartsofmen,andmineasmuchastherestofthem,——
’Spank,isHisMajestycometothis,thathestarveshisownapprovers?’
’Mylord,mylord,’whisperedMr。Spank,thechief-officerofevidence,’thethinghathbeenoverlooked,mylord,amongsuchgravemattersoftreason。’
’Iwilloverlookthyhead,foulSpank,onaspikefromTempleBar,ifeverIhearofthelikeagain。Vilevarlet,whatartthoupaidfor?Thouhastswindledthemoneythyself,foulSpank;Iknowthee,thoughthouartnewtome。BitteristhedayfortheethateverIcameacrossthee。Answermenot——onewordmoreandIwillhavetheeonahurdle。’Andheswunghimselftoandfroonhisbench,withbothhandsonhisknees;andeverymanwaitedtoletitpass,knowingbetterthantospeaktohim。
’JohnRidd,’saidtheLordChiefJustice,atlastrecoveringasortofdignity,yetdaringSpankfromthecornersofhiseyestodosomuchaslookathim,’thouhastbeenshamefullyused,JohnRidd。Answermenotboy;notaword;butgotoMasterSpank,andletmeknowhowhebehavestothee;’herehemadeaglanceatSpank,whichwasworthatleasttenpoundstome;’bethouhereagainto-morrow,andbeforeanyothercaseistaken,Iwillseejusticedonetothee。Nowbeoffboy;thynameisRidd,andwearewellridofthee。’
Iwasonlytoogladtogo,afterallthistempest;asyoumaywellsuppose。ForifeverIsawaman’seyesbecometwoholesforthedeviltoglarefrom,Isawitthatday;andtheeyeswerethoseoftheLordChiefJusticeJeffreys。
Mr。Spankwasinthelobbybeforeme,andbeforeIhadrecoveredmyself——forIwasvexedwithmyownterror——hecameupsidlingandfawningtome,withaheavybagofyellowleather。
’GoodMasterRidd,takeitall,takeitall,andsayagoodwordformetohislordship。Hehathtakenastrangefancytothee;andthoumustmakethemostofit。Weneversawmanmeethimeyetoeyeso,andyetnotcontradicthim,andthatisjustwhatheloveth。
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