`Itappearsheaddressedhimselfinthefirstinstancetotheprincipalshipping-master。ArchieRuthvelhadjustcomein,and,ashisstorygoes,wasabouttobeginhisarduousdaybygivingadressing-downtohischiefclerk。Someofyoumighthaveknownhim——anobliginglittlePortuguesehalf-castewithamiserableskinnyneck,andalwaysonthehoptogetsomethingfromtheshipmastersinthewayofeatables——apieceofsaltpork,abagofbiscuits,afewpotatoes,orwhatnot。Onevoyage,Irecollect,Itippedhimalivesheepoutoftheremnantofmysea-stock:notthatIwantedhimtodoanythingforme——hecouldn’t,youknow——butbecausehischildlikebeliefinthesacredrighttoperquisitesquitetouchedmyheart。Itwassostrongastobealmostbeautiful。Therace——thetworacesrather——andtheclimate……However,nevermind。IknowwhereIhaveafriendforlife。
`Well,Ruthvelsayshewasgivinghimaseverelecture——onofficialmorality,Isuppose——whenheheardakindofsubduedcommotionathisback,andturninghisheadhesaw,inhisownwords,somethingroundandenormous,resemblingasixteen-hundredweightsugar-hogsheadwrappedinstripedflannelette,up-endedinthemiddleofthelargefloorspaceintheoffice。Hedeclareshewassotakenabackthatforquiteanappreciabletimehedidnotrealizethethingwasalive,andsatstillwonderingforwhatpurposeandbywhatmeansthatobjecthadbeentransportedinfrontofhisdesk。Thearchwayfromtheante-roomwascrowdedwithpunkah-pullers,sweepers,policepeons,thecoxswainandcrewoftheharboursteam-launch,allcraningtheirnecksandalmostclimbingoneachother’sbacks。Quiteariot。Bythattimethefellowhadmanagedtotugandjerkhishatclearofhishead,andadvancedwithslightbowsatRuthvel,whotoldmethesightwassodiscomposingthatforsometimehelistenedquiteunabletomakeoutwhatthatapparitionwanted。Itspokeinavoiceharshandlugubriousbutintrepid,andlittlebylittleitdawneduponArchiethatthiswasadevelopmentofthePatnacase。Hesaysthatassoonasheunderstoodwhoitwasbeforehimhefeltquiteunwell——Archieissosympatheticandeasilyupset——butpulledhimselftogetherandshouted:“Stop!Ican’tlistentoyou。YoumustgototheMasterAttendant。Ican’tpossiblylistentoyou。CaptainElliotisthemanyouwanttosee。Thisway,thisway。“Hejumpedup,ranroundthatlongcounter,pulled,shoved:theotherlethim,surprisedbutobedientatfirst,andonlyatthedooroftheprivateofficesomesortofanimalinstinctmadehimhangbackandsnortlikeafrightenedbullock。“Lockhere!what’sup?Letgo!Lookhere!“Archieflungopenthedoorwithoutknocking。“ThemasterofthePatna,sir,“heshouts。“Goin,captain。“
Hesawtheoldmanlifthisheadfromsomewritingssosharpthathisnose-nippersfelloff,bangedthedoorto,andfledtohisdesk,wherehehadsomepaperswaitingforhissignature:buthesaystherowthatburstoutintherewassoawfulthathecouldn’tcollecthissensessufficientlytorememberthespellingofhisownname。Archie’sthemostsensitiveshipping-masterinthetwohemispheres。Hedeclareshefeltasthoughhehadthrownamantoahungrylion。Nodoubtthenoisewasgreat。Ihearditdownbelow,andIhaveeveryreasontobelieveitwasheardclearacrosstheEsplanadeasfarastheband-stand。OldfatherElliothadagreatstockofwordsandcouldshout——anddidn’tmindwhoheshoutedateither。HewouldhaveshoutedattheViceroyhimself。Asheusedtotellme:“IamashighasIcanget;mypensionissafe。I’veafewpoundslaidby,andiftheydon’tlikemynotionsofdutyIwouldjustassoongohomeasnot。Iamanoldman,andIhavealwaysspokenmymind。AllIcarefornowistoseemygirlsmarriedbeforeIdie。“Hewasalittlecrazyonthatpoint。Histhreedaughterswereawfullynice,thoughtheyresembledhimamazingly,andonthemorningshewokeupwithagloomyviewoftheirmatrimonialprospectstheofficewouldreaditinhiseyeandtremble,because,theysaid,hewassuretohavesomebodyforbreakfast。However,thatmorninghedidnoteattherenegade,but,ifImaybeallowedtocarryonthemetaphor,chewedhimupverysmall,sotospeak,and——ah!ejectedhimagain。
`ThusinaveryfewmomentsIsawhismonstrousbulkdescendinhasteandstandstillontheoutersteps。Hehadstoppedclosetomeforthepurposeofprofoundmeditation:hislargepurplecheeksquivered。Hewasbitinghisthumb,andafterawhilenoticedmewithasidelongvexedlook。
Theotherthreechapsthathadlandedwithhimmadealittlegroupwaitingatsomedistance。Therewasasallow-faced,meanlittlechapwithhisarminasling,andalongindividualinablueflannelcoat,asdryasachipandnostouterthanabroomstick,withdroopinggreymoustaches,wholookedabouthimwithanairofjauntyimbecility。Thethirdwasanupstanding,broad-shoulderedyouth,withhishandsinhispockets,turninghisbackontheothertwowhoappearedtobetalkingtogetherearnestly。HestaredacrosstheemptyEsplanade。Aramshacklegharry,alldustandvenetianblinds,pulledupshortoppositethegroup,andthedriver,throwinguphisrightfootoverhisknee,gavehimselfuptothecriticalexaminationofhistoes。Theyoungchap,makingnomovement,notevenstirringhishead,juststaredintothesunshine。ThiswasmyfirstviewofJim。Helookedasunconcernedandunapproachableasonlytheyoungcanlook。Therehestood,clean-limbed,clean-faced,firmonhisfeet,aspromisingaboyasthesunevershoneon;and,lookingathim,knowingallheknewandalittlemoretoo,IwasangryasthoughIhaddetectedhimtryingtogetsomethingoutofmebyfalsepretences。Hehadnobusinesstolooksosound。
Ithoughttomyself——Well,ifthissortcangowronglikethat……andIfeltasthoughIcouldflingdownmyhatanddanceonitfromsheermortification,asIoncesawtheskipperofanItalianbarquedobecausehisdufferofamategotintoamesswithhisanchorswhenmakingaflyingmoorinaroadsteadfullofships。Iaskedmyself,seeinghimthereapparentlysomuchatease——Ishesilly?ishecallous?Heseemedreadytostartwhistlingatune。Andnote,Ididnotcarearapaboutthebehaviouroftheothertwo。Theirpersonssomehowfittedthetalethatwaspublicproperty,andwasgoingtobethesubjectofanofficialinquiry。“Thatoldmadrogueupstairscalledmeahound,“saidthecaptainofthePatna。Ican’ttellwhetherherecognizedme——Iratherthinkhedid;butatanyrateourglancesmet。Heglared——Ismiled;houndwastheverymildestepithetthathadreachedmethroughtheopenwindow。“Didhe?“Isaidfromsomestrangeinabilitytoholdmytongue。Henodded,bithisthumbagain,sworeunderhisbreath:thenliftinghisheadandlookingatmewithsullenandpassionateimpudence——“Bah!thePacificisbig,myfriendt。YoudamnedEnglishmencandoyourworst;Iknowwherethere’splentyroomforamanlikeme:
IamwellaguaindtinApia,inHonolulu,in……“Hepausedreflectively,whilewithouteffortIcoulddepicttomyselfthesortofpeoplehewas“aguaindt“withinthoseplaces。Iwon’tmakeasecretofitthatIhadbeen“aguaindt“withnotafewofthatsortmyself。Therearetimeswhenamanmustactasthoughlifewereequallysweetinanycompany。I’veknownsuchatime,and,what’smore,Ishan’tnowpretendtopullalongfaceovermynecessity,becauseagoodmanyofthatbadcompanyfromwantofmoral——moral——whatshallIsay?——posture,orfromsomeotherequallyprofoundcause,weretwiceasinstructiveandtwentytimesmoreamusingthantheusualrespectablethiefofcommerceyoufellowsasktositatyourtablewithoutanyrealnecessity——fromhabit,fromcowardice,fromgoodnature,fromahundredsneakingandinadequatereasons。
“`YouEnglishmenareallrogues,“wentonmypatrioticFlensborgorStettinAustralian,Ireallydon’trecollectnowwhatdecentlittleportontheshoresoftheBalticwasdefiledbybeingthenestofthatpreciousbird。“Whatareyoutoshout?Eh?Youtellme?Youarenobetterthanotherpeople,andthatoldrougehemakeGottamfusswithme。“Histhickcarcasstrembledonitslegsthatwerelikeapairofpillars;ittrembledfromheadtofoot。“That’swhatyouEnglishalwaysmake——makeatam’fuss——foranylittlething,becauseIwasnotborninyourtam’country。Takeawaymycertificate。Takeit。Idon’twantthecertificate。Amanlikemedon’twantyourverfluchtecertificate。Ishpitonit。“Hespat。“IvillanAmericancitizenbegome,“hecried,frettingandfumingandshufflinghisfeetasiftofreehisanklesfromsomeinvisibleandmysteriousgraspthatwouldnotlethimgetawayfromthatspot。Hemadehimselfsowarmthatthetopofhisbulletheadpositivelysmoked。Nothingmysteriouspreventedmefromgoingaway:curiosityisthemostobviousofsentiments,anditheldmetheretoseetheeffectofafullinformationuponthatyoungfellowwho,handsinpockets,andturninghisbackuponthesidewalk,gazedacrossthegrass-plotsoftheEsplanadeattheyellowporticooftheMalabarHotelwiththeairofamanabouttogoforawalkassoonashisfriendisready。
That’showhelooked,anditwasodious。Iwaitedtoseehimover-whelmed,confounded,piercedthroughandthrough,squirminglikeanimpaledbeetle——andIwashalfafraidtoseeittoo——ifyouunderstandwhatImean。Nothingmoreawfulthantowatchamanwhohasbeenfoundout,notinacrimebutinamorethancriminalweakness。Thecommonestsortoffortitudepreventsusfrombecomingcriminalsinalegalsense;itisfromweaknessunknown,butperhapssuspected,asinsomepartsoftheworldyoususpectadeadlysnakeineverybush——fromweaknessthatmayliehidden,watchedorunwatched,prayedagainstormanfullyscorned,repressedormaybeignoredmorethanhalfalifetime,notoneofusissafe。Wearesnaredintodoingthingsforwhichwegetcallednames,andthingsforwhichwegethanged,andyetthespiritmaywellsurvive——survivethecondemnations,survivethehalter,byJove!Andtherearethings——theylooksmallenoughsometimestoo——bywhichsomeofusaretotallyandcompletelyundone。Iwatchedtheyoungsterthere。Ilikedhisappearance;Iknewhisappearance;hecamefromtherightplace;hewasoneofus。Hestoodthereforalltheparentageofhiskind,formenandwomenbynomeanscleveroramusing,butwhoseveryexistenceisbaseduponhonestfaith,andupontheinstinctofcourage。
Idon’tmeanmilitarycourage,orcivilcourage,oranyspecialkindofcourage。Imeanjustthatinbornabilitytolooktemptationsstraightintheface——areadinessunintellectualenough,goodnessknows,butwithoutpose——apowerofresistance,don’tyousee,ungraciousifyoulike,butpriceless——anunthinkingandblessedstiffnessbeforetheoutwardandinwardterrors,beforethemightofnature,andtheseductivecorruptionofmen——backedbyafaithinvulnerabletothestrengthoffacts,tothecontagionofexample,tothesolicitationofideas。Hangideas!Theyaretramps,vagabonds,knockingattheback-doorofyourmind,eachtakingalittleofyoursubstance,eachcarryingawaysomecrumbofthatbeliefinafewsimplenotionsyoumustclingtoifyouwanttolivedecentlyandwouldliketodieeasy!
`ThishasnothingtodowithJim,directly;onlyhewasoutwardlysotypicalofthatgood,stupidkindweliketofeelmarchingrightandleftofusinlife,ofthekindthatisnotdisturbedbythevagariesofintelligenceandtheperversionsof——ofnerves,letussay。Hewasthekindoffellowyouwould,onthestrengthofhislooks,leaveinchargeofthedeck——figurativelyandprofessionallyspeaking。IsayIwould,andIoughttoknow。Haven’tIturnedoutyoungstersenoughinmytime,fortheserviceoftheRedRag,tothecraftofthesea,tothecraftwhosewholesecretcouldbeexpressedinoneshortsentence,andyetmustbedrivenafresheverydayintoyoungheadstillitbecomesthecomponentpartofeverywakingthought——tillitispresentineverydreamoftheiryoungsleep!Theseahasbeengoodtome,butwhenIrememberalltheseboysthatpassedthroughmyhands,somegrownupnowandsomedrownedbythistime,butallgoodstuffforthesea,Idon’tthinkIhavedonebadlybyiteither。WereItogohometo-morrow,Ibetthatbeforetwodayspassedovermyheadsomesunburntyoungchiefmatewouldovertakemeatsomedockgatewayorother,andafreshdeepvoicespeakingabovemyhatwouldask:“Don’tyourememberme,sir?Why!littleSo-and-so。Suchandsuchaship。Itwasmyfirstvoyage。“
AndIwouldrememberabewilderedlittleshaver,nohigherthanthebackofthischair,withamotherandperhapsabigsisteronthequay,veryquietbuttooupsettowavetheirhandkerchiefsattheshipthatglidesoutgentlybetweenthepier-heads:orperhapssomedecentmiddle-agedfatherwhohadcomeearlywithhisboytoseehimoff,andstaysallthemorningbecauseheisinterestedinthewindlassapparently,andstaystoolong,andhasgottoscrambleashoreatlastwithnotimeatalltosaygood-bye。
Themudpilotonthepoopsingsouttomeinadrawl:“Holdherwiththechecklineforamoment,MisterMate。There’sagentlemanwantstogetshore……Upwithyou,sir。NearlygotcarriedofftoTalcahuano,didn’tyou?Now’syourtime;easydoesit……Allright。Slackawayagainforwardthere。’Thetugs,smokinglikethepitofperdition,getholdandchurntheoldriverintofury;thegentlemanashoreisdustinghisknees——thebenevolentstewardhasshiedhisumbrellaafterhim。Allveryproper。Hehasofferedhisbitofsacrificetothesea,andnowhemaygohomepretendinghethinksnothingofit;andthelittlewillingvictimshallbeverysea-sickbeforenextmorning。Byandby,whenhehaslearnedallthelittlemysteriesandtheonegreatsecretofthecraft,heshallbefittoliveordieastheseamaydecree;andthemanwhohadtakenahandinthisfoolgame,inwhichtheseawinseverytoss,willbepleasedtohavehisbackslappedbyaheavyyounghand,andtohearacheerysea-puppyvioce:“Doyourememberme,sir?ThelittleSo-and-so。“
`Itellyouthisisgood;ittellsyouthatonceinyourlifeatleastyouhadgonetherightwaytowork。Ihavebeenthusslapped,andIhavewinced,fortheslapwasheavy,andIhaveglowedalldaylongandgonetobedfeelinglesslonelyintheworldbyvirtueofthatheartythump。
第5章