首页 >出版文学> Lord Jim>第30章

第30章

  Iasked。“Well,Icouldn’tfightthewholepopulation,andIwasn’tcomingtothemasifIwereafraidofmylife,“hesaid,withjustafainthintofhisstubbornsulkinessintheglancehegaveme。Irefrainedfrompointingouttohimthattheycouldnothaveknownthechamberswereactuallyempty。
  Hehadtosatisfyhimselfinhisownway……“Anyhowitwasn’t,“herepeated,good-humouredly,“andsoIjuststoodstillandaskedthemwhatwasthematter。Thatseemedtostrikethemdumb。Isawsomeofthesethievesgoingoffwithmybox。Thatlong-leggedoldscoundrelKassimI’llshowhimtoyouto-morrowranoutfussingtomeabouttheRajahwantingtoseeme。Isaid,`Allright’;I,too,wantedtoseetheRajah,andIsimplywalkedinthroughthegateand——and——hereIam。“Helaughed,andthenwithunexpectedemphasis,“Anddoyouknowwhat’sthebestinit?“heasked。
  “I’lltellyou。It’stheknowledgethathadIbeenwipedoutitisthisplacethatwouldhavebeentheloser。“
  `HespokethustomebeforehishouseonthateveningI’vementioned——afterwehadwatchedthemoonfloatawayabovethechasmbetweenthehillslikeanascendingspiritoutofagrave;itssheendescended,coldandpale,liketheghostofdeadsunlight。Thereissomethinghauntinginthelightofthemoon;ithasallthedispassionatenessofadisembodiedsoul,andsomethingofitsinconceivablemystery。Itistooursunshine,which——saywhatyoulike——isallwehavetoliveby,whattheechoistothesound:
  misleadingandconfusingwhetherthenotebemockingorsad。Itrobsallformsofmatter——which,afterall,isourdomain——oftheirsubstance,andgivesasinisterrealitytoshadowsalone。Andtheshadowswereveryrealaroundus,butJimbymysidelookedverystalwart,asthoughnothing——noteventheoccultpowerofmoonlight——couldrobhimofhisrealityinmyeyes。Perhaps,indeed,nothingcouldtouchhimsincehehadsurvivedtheassaultofthedarkpowers。Allwassilent,allwasstill;evenontheriverthemoonbeamssleptasonapool。Itwasthemomentofhighwater,amomentofimmobilitythataccentuatedtheutterisolationofthislostcorneroftheearth。Thehousescrowdingalongthewideshiningsweepwithoutrippleorglitter,steppingintothewaterinalineofjostling,vague,grey,silveryformsmingledwithblackmassesofshadow,werelikeaspectralherdofshapelesscreaturespressingforwardtodrinkinaspectralandlifelessstream。Hereandtherearedgleamtwinkledwithinthebamboowalls,warm,likealivingspark,significantofhumanaffections,ofshelter,ofrepose。
  `Heconfessedtomethatheoftenwatchedthesetinywarmgleamsgooutonebyone,thathelovedtoseepeoplegotosleepunderhiseyes,confidentinthesecurityofto-morrow。“Peacefulhere,eh?“heasked。
  Hewasnoteloquent,buttherewasadeepmeaninginthewordsthatfollowed。
  “Lookatthesehouses;there’snotonewhereIamnottrusted。Jove!I
  toldyouIwouldhangon。Askanyman,woman,orchild……“Hepaused。
  “Well,Iamallrightanyhow。“
  `Iobservedquicklythathehadfoundthatoutintheend。Ihadbeensureofit,Iadded。Heshookhishead。“Wereyou?“Hepressedmyarmlightlyabovetheelbow。“Well,then——youwereright。“
  `Therewaselationandpride,therewasawealmost,inthatlowexclamation。
  “Jove!“hecried,“onlythinkwhatitistome。’Againhepressedmyarm。
  “AndyouaskedmewhetherIthoughtofleaving。GoodGod!I!Wanttoleave!
  EspeciallynowafterwhatyoutoldmeofMr。Stein’s……Leave!Why!
  That’swhatIwasafraidof。Itwouldhavebeen——itwouldhavebeenharderthandying。No——onmyword。Don’tlaugh。Imustfeel——everyday,everytimeIopenmyeyes——thatIamtrusted——thatnobodyhasaright——don’tyouknow?Leave!Forwhere?Whatfor?Togetwhat?’
  `IhadtoldhimindeeditwasthemainobjectofmyvisitthatitwasStein’sintentiontopresenthimatoncewiththehouseandthestockoftradinggoods,oncertaineasyconditionswhichwouldmakethetransactionperfectlyregularandvalid。Hebegantosnortandplungeatfirst。“Confoundyourdelicacy!“Ishouted。“Itisn’tSteinatall。It’sgivingyouwhatyouhadmadeforyourself。AndinanycasekeepyourremarksforM’Neil——whenyoumeethimintheotherworld。Ihopeitwon’thappensoon……“Hehadtogiveintomyarguments,becauseallhisconquests,thetrust,thefame,thefriendships,thelove——allthesethingsthatmadehimmasterhadmadehimacaptive,too。Helookedwithanowner’seyeatthepeaceoftheevening,attheriver,atthehouses,attheeverlastinglifeoftheforests,atthelifeoftheoldmankind,atthesecretsoftheland,attheprideofhisownheart:butitwastheythatpossessedhimandmadehimtheirowntotheinnermostthought,totheslighteststirofblood,tohislastbreath。
  `Itwassomethingtobeproudof。I,too,waspround——forhim,ifnotsocertainofthefabulousvalueofthebargain。Itwaswonderful。ItwasnotsomuchofhisfearlessnessthatIthought。ItisstrangehowlittleaccountItookofit:asifithadbeensomethingtooconventionaltobeattherootofthematter。No。Iwasmorestruckbytheothergiftshehaddisplayed。Hehadprovedhisgraspoftheunfamiliarsituation,hisintellectualalertnessinthatfieldofthought。Therewashisreadiness,too!Amazing。Andallthishadcometohiminamannerlikekeenscenttoawell-bredhound。Hewasnoteloquent,buttherewasadignityinthisconstitutionalreticence,therewasahighseriousnessinhisstammerings。
  Hehadstillhisoldtrickofstubbornblushing。Nowandthen,though,aword,asentence,wouldescapehimthatshowedhowdeeplyhowsolemnly,hefeltaboutthatworkwhichhadgivenhimthecertitudeofrehabilitation。
  Thatiswhyheseemedtolovethelandandthepeoplewithasortoffierceegoism,withacontemptuoustenderness。’
  iswhereIwasprisonerforthreedays,“hemurmuredtomeitwasontheoccasionofourvisittotheRajah,whileweweremakingourwayslowlythroughakindofawestruckriotofdependantsacrossTunkuAllang’scourtyard。“Filthyplace,isn’tit?AndIcouldn’tgetanythingtoeateither,unlessImadearowaboutit,andthenitwasonlyasmallplateofriceandafriedfishnotmuchbiggerthanastickleback——confoundthem!Jove!I’vebeenhungryprowlinginsidethisstinkingenclosurewithsomeofthesevagabondsshovingtheirmugsrightundermynose。I
  hadgivenupthatfamousrevolverofyoursatthefirstdemand。Gladtogetridoftheballything。Looklikeafoolwalkingaboutwithanemptyshooting-ironinmyhand。“Atthatmomentwecameintothepresence,andhebecameunflinchinglygraveandcomplimentarywithhislatecaptor。Oh!
  magnificent!IwanttolaughwhenIthinkofit。ButIwasimpressed,too。
  TheolddisreputableTunkuAllangcouldnothelpshowinghisfearhewasnohero,forallthetalesofhishotyouthhewasfondoftelling;andatthesametimetherewasawistfulconfidenceinhismannertowardshislateprisoner。Note!Evenwherehewouldbemosthatedhewasstilltrusted。
  Jim——asfarasIcouldfollowtheconversation——wasimprovingtheoccasionbythedeliveryofalecture。SomepoorvillagershadbeenwaylaidandrobbedwhileontheirwaytoDoramin’shousewithafewpiecesofgumorbeeswaxwhichtheywishedtoexchangeforrice。“ItwasDoraminwhowasathief,“burstouttheRajah。Ashakingfuryseemedtoenterthatoldfrailbody。Hewrithedweirdlyonhismat,gesticulatingwithhishandsandfeet,tossingthetangledstringsofhismop——animpotentincarnationofrage。Therewerestaringeyesanddroppingjawsallaroundus。Jimbegantospeak。Resolutely,coolly,andforsometimeheenlargeduponthetextthatnomanshouldbepreventedfromgettinghisfoodandhischildren’sfoodhonestly。Theothersatlikeatailorathisboard,onepalmoneachknee,hisheadlow,andfixingJimthroughthegreyhairthatfelloverhisveryeyes。WhenJimhaddonetherewasagreatstillness。Nobodyseemedtobreatheeven;noonemadeasoundtilltheoldRajahsighedfaintly,andlookingup,withatossofhishead,saidquickly,“Youhear,mypeople!
  Nomoreoftheselittlegames。“Thisdecreewasreceivedinprofoundsilence。
  Aratherheavyman,evidentlyinapositionofconfidence,withintelligenteyes,abony,broad,verydarkface,andacheerilyofficiousmannerI
  learnedlateronhewastheexecutioner,presentedtoustwocupsofcoffeeonabrasstray,whichhetookfromthehandsofaninferiorattendant。
  “Youneedn’tdrink,“mutteredJimveryrapidly。Ididn’tperceivethemeaningatfirst,andonlylookedathim。Hetookagoodsipandsatcomposedly,holdingthesaucerinhislefthand。InamomentIfeltexcessivelyannoyed。
  “Whythedevil,“Iwhispered,smilingathimamiably,“doyouexposemetosuchastupidrisk?“Idrank,ofcourse,therewasnothingforit,whilehegavenosign,andalmostimmediatelyafterwardswetookourleave。Whileweweregoingdownthecourtyardtoourboat,escortedbytheintelligentandcheeryexecutioner,Jimsaidhewasverysorry。Itwasthebarestchance,ofcourse。Personallyhethoughtnothingofpoison。Theremotestchance。
  Hewas——heassuredme——consideredtobeinfinitelymoreusefulthandangerous,andso……“ButtheRajahisafraidofyouabominably。Anybodycanseethat,“Iargued,with,Iown,acertainpeevishness,andallthetimewatchinganxiouslyforthefirsttwistofsomesortofghastlycolic。Iwasawfullydisgusted。“IfIamtodoanygoodhereandpreservemyposition,“hesaid,takinghisseatbymysideintheboat,“Imuststandtherisk:Itakeitonceeverymonth,atleast。Manypeopletrustmetodothat——forthem。
  Afraidofme!That’sjustit。MostlikelyheisafraidofmebecauseI
  amnotafraidofhiscoffee。“Thenshowingmeaplaceonthenorthfrontofthestockadewherethepointedtopsofseveralstakeswerebroken,“ThisiswhereIleapedoveronmythirddayinPatusan。Theyhaven’tputnewstakesthereyet。Goodleap,eh?“Amomentlaterwepassedthemouthofamuddycreek。“Thisismysecondleap。Ihadabitofarunandtookthisoneflying,butfellshort。ThoughtIwouldleavemyskinthere。Lostmyshoesstruggling。AndallthetimeIwasthinkingtomyselfhowbeastlyitwouldbetogetajabwithaballylongspearwhilestickinginthemudlikethis。IrememberhowsickIfeltwrigglinginthatslime。Imeanreallysick——asifIhadbittensomethingrotten。“
  `That’showitwas——andtheopportunityranbyhisside,leapedoverthegap,flounderedinthemud……stillveiled。Theunexpectednessofhiscomingwastheonlything,youunderstand,thatsavedhimfrombeingatoncedispatchedwithkrisesandflungintotheriver。Theyhadhim,butitwaslikegettingholdofanapparition,awraith,aportent。Whatdiditmean?Whattodowithit?Wasittoolatetoconciliatehim?Hadn’thebetterbekilledwithoutmoredelay?Butwhatwouldhappenthen?WretchedoldAllangwentnearlymadwithapprehensionandthroughthedifficultyofmakinguphismind。Severaltimesthecouncilwasbrokenup,andtheadvisersmadeabreakhelter-skelterforthedoorandoutontotheveranda。
  One——itissaid——evenjumpeddowntotheground——fifteenfeet,Ishouldjudge——andbrokehisleg。TheroyalgovernorofPatusanhadbizarremannerisms,andoneofthemwastointroduceboastfulrhapsodiesintoeveryarduousdiscussion,when,gettinggraduallyexcited,hewouldendbyflyingoffhisperchwithakrisinhishand。But,barringsuchinterruptions,thedeliberationsuponJim’sfatewentonnightandday。
  `Meanwhilehewanderedaboutthecourtyard,shunnedbysome,glaredatbyothers,butwatchedbyall,andpracticallyatthemercyofthefirstcasualragamuffinwithachopper,inthere。Hetookpossessionofasmalltumble-downshedtosleepin;theeffluviaoffilthandrottenmatterincommodedhimgreatly:itseemshehadnotlosthisappetitethough,because——hetoldme——hehadbeenhungryalltheblessedtime。Nowandagain“somefussyass“deputedfromthecouncil-roomwouldcomeoutrunningtohim,andinhoneyedtoneswouldadministeramazinginterrogatories:“WeretheDutchcomingtotakethecountry?Wouldthewhitemanliketogobackdowntheriver?Whatwastheobjectofcomingtosuchamiserablecountry?TheRajahwantedtoknowwhetherthewhitemancouldrepairawatch?TheydidactuallybringouttohimanickelclockofNewEnglandmake,andoutofsheerunbearableboredomhebusiedhimselfintryingtogetthealarumtowork。Itwasapparentlywhenthusoccupiedinhisshedthatthetrueperceptionofhisextremeperildawneduponhim。Hehaddroppedthething——hesays——“likeahotpotato,“
  andwalkedouthastily,withouttheslightestideaofwhathewould,orindeedcoulddo。Heonlyknewthatthepositionwasintolerable。Hestrolledaimlesslybeyondasortoframshacklelittlegranaryonposts,andhiseyesfellonthebrokenstakesofthepalisade;andthen——hesays——atonce,withoutanymentalprocessasitwere,withoutanystirofemotion,hesetabouthisescapeasifexecutingaplanmaturedforamonth。Hewalkedoffcarelesslytogivehimselfagoodrun,andwhenhefacedabouttherewassomedignitary,withtwospearmeninattendance,closeathiselbowreadywithaquestion。Hestartedoff“fromunderhisverynose,“wentover“likeabird,“andlandedontheothersidewithafallthatjarredallhisbonesandseemedtosplithishead。Hepickedhimselfupinstantly。