day，month，year，2。30A。M……forthesakeofouroldfriendshipIaskyoutoputsomeworkinthewayofMr。JamesSo-and-so，inwhom，etc。，etc……Iwasevenreadytowriteinthatstrainabouthim。Ifhehadnotenlistedmysympathieshehaddonebetterforhimself——hehadgonetotheveryfountandoriginofthatsentiment，hehadreachedthesecretsensibilityofmyegoism。Iamconcealingnothingfromyou，becausewereItodosomyactionwouldappearmoreunintelligiblethananyman’sactionhastherighttobe，and——inthesecondplace——to-morrowyoushallforgetmysincerityalongwiththeotherlessonsofthepast。
　　Inthistransaction，tospeakgrosslyandprecisely，Iwastheirreproachableman；butthesubtleintentionsofmyimmortalityweredefeatedbythemoralsimplicityofthecriminal。Nodoubthewasselfish，too，buthisselfishnesshadahigherorigin，amoreloftyaim。Idiscoveredthat，saywhatIwould，hewaseagertogothroughtheceremonyofexecution；andIdidn’tsaymuch，forIfeltthatinargumenthisyouthwouldtellagainstmeheavily：
　　hebelievedwhereIhadalreadyceasedtodoubt。Therewassomethingfineinthewildnessofhisunexpressed，hardlyformulatedhope。“Clearout!
　　Couldn’tthinkofit，“hesaid，withashakeofthehead。“ImakeyouanofferforwhichIneitherdemandnorexpectanysortofgratitude，“Isaid；
　　“youshallrepaythemoneywhenconvenient，and……““Awfullygoodofyou，“hemutteredwithoutlookingup。Iwatchedhimnarrowly：thefuturemusthaveappearedhorriblyuncertaintohim；buthedidnotfalter，asthoughindeedtherehadbeennothingwrongwithhisheart。Ifeltangry——notforthefirsttimethatnight。“Thewholewretchedbusiness，“Isaid，“isbitterenough，Ishouldthink，foramanofyourkind……““Itis，itis，“hewhisperedtwice，withhiseyesfixedonthefloor。Itwasheartrending。
　　Hetoweredabovethelight，andIcouldseethedownonhischeek，thecolourmantlingwarmunderthesmoothskinofhisface。Believemeornot，Isayitwasoutrageouslyheartrending。Itprovokedmetobrutality。“Yes，“
　　Isaid；“andallowmetoconfessthatIamtotallyunabletoimaginewhatadvantageyoucanexpectfromthislickingofthedregs。““Advantage!“
　　hemurmuredoutofhisstillness。“IamdashedifIdo，“Isaid，enraged。
　　“I’vebeentryingtotellyouallthereisinit，“hewenton，slowly，asifmeditatingsomethingunanswerable。“Butafterall，itismytrouble。“Iopenedmymouthtoretort，anddiscoveredsuddenlythatI’dlostallconfidenceinmyself；anditwasasifhe，too，hadgivenmeup，forhemumbledlikeamanthinkinghalfaloud。“Wentaway……wentintohospitals……Notoneofthemwouldfaceit……They!……“Hemovedhishandslightlytoimplydisdain。“ButI’vegottogetoverthisthing，andImustn’tshirkanyofitor……Iwon’tshirkanyofit。“Hewassilent。Hegazedasthoughhehadbeenhaunted。Hisunconsciousfacereflectedthepassingexpressionsofscorn，ofdespair，ofresolution——reflectedtheminturn，asamagicmirrorwouldreflecttheglidingpassageofunearthlyshapes。Helivedsurroundedbydeceitfulghosts，byaustereshades。“Oh!
　　nonsense，mydearfellow，“Ibegan。Hehadamovementofimpatience。“Youdon’tseemtounderstand，“hesaidincisively；thenlookingatmewithoutawink，“Imayhavejumped，butIdon’trunaway。““Imeantnooffence，“
　　Isaid；andaddedstupidly，“Bettermenthanyouhavefounditexpedienttorun，attimes。“Hecolouredallover，whileinmyconfusionIhalf-chokedmyselfwithmyowntongue。“Perhapsso，“hesaidatlast；“Iamnotgoodenough；Ican’taffordit。Iamboundtofightthisthingdown——Iamfightingitnow。“Igotoutofmychairandfeltstiffallover。Thesilencewasembarrassing，andtoputanendtoitIimaginednothingbetterbuttoremark，“Ihadnoideaitwassolate，“inanairytone……“Idaresayyouhavehadenoughofthis，“hesaid，brusquely：“andtotellyouthetruth“——hebegantolookroundforhishat——“sohaveI。“
　　`Well!hehadrefusedthisuniqueoffer。Hehadstruckasidemyhelpinghand；hewasreadytogonow，andbeyondthebalustradethenightseemedtowaitforhimverystill，asthoughhehadbeenmarkeddownforitsprey。
　　Iheardhisvoice。“Ah!hereitis。“Hehadfoundhishat。Forafewsecondswehunginthewind。“Whatwillyoudoafter——after……？“Iaskedverylow。“Gotothedogsaslikelyasnot，“heansweredinagruffmutter。
　　Ihadrecoveredmywitsinameasure，andjudgedbesttotakeitlightly。
　　“Prayremember，“Isaid，“thatIshouldlikeverymuchtoseeyouagainbeforeyougo。““Idon’tknowwhat’stopreventyou。Thedamnedthingwon’tmakemeinvisible，“hesaidwithintensebitterness——“nosuchluck。“Andthenatthemomentoftakingleavehetreatedmetoaghastlymuddleofdubiousstammersandmovements，toanawfuldisplayofhesitations。Godforgivehim——me!HehadtakenitintohisfancifulheadthatIwaslikelytomakesomedifficultyastoshakinghands。Itwastooawfulforwords。
　　IbelieveIshoutedsuddenlyathimasyouwouldbellowtoamanyousawabouttowalkoveracliff；Irememberourvoicesbeingraised，theappearanceofamiserablegrinonhisface，acrushingclutchonmyhand，anervouslaugh。Thecandlesplutteredout，andthethingwasoveratlast，withagroanthatfloateduptomeinthedark。Hegothimselfawaysomehow。
　　Thenightswallowedhisform。Hewasahorriblebungler。Horrible。Iheardthequickcrunch-crunchofthegravelunderhisboots。Hewasrunning。
　　Absolutelyrunning，withnowheretogoto。Andhewasnotyetfour-and-twenty。’
　　LordJim：Chapter14CHAPTERXIV`ISLEPTlittle，hurriedovermybreakfast，andafteraslighthesitationgaveupmyearlymorningvisittomyship。Itwasreallyverywrongofme，because，thoughmychiefmatewasanexcellentmanallround，hewasthevictimofsuchblackimaginingsthatifhedidnotgetaletterfromhiswifeattheexpectedtimehewouldgoquitedistractedwithrageandjealousy，loseallgriponthework，quarrelwithallhands，andeitherweepinhiscabinordevelopsuchaferocityoftemperasallbutdrovethecrewtothevergeofmutiny。Thethinghadalwaysseemedinexplicabletome：theyhadbeenmarriedthirteenyears；Ihadaglimpseofheronce，and，honestly，Icouldn’tconceiveamanabandonedenoughtoplungeintosinforthesakeofsuchanunattractiveperson。Idon’tknowwhetherIhavenotdonewrongbyrefrainingfromputtingthatviewbeforepoorSelvin：themanmadealittlehellonearthforhimself，andIalsosufferedindirectly，butsomesortof，nodoubt，falsedelicacypreventedme。Themaritalrelationsofseamenwouldmakeaninterestingsubject，andIcouldtellyouinstances……However，thisisnottheplace，notthetime，andweareconcernedwithJim——whowasunmarried。
　　Ifhisimaginativeconscienceorhispride；ifalltheextravagantghostsandaustereshadesthatwerethedisastrousfamiliarsofhisyouthwouldnotlethimrunawayfromtheblock，I，whoofcoursecan’tbesuspectedofsuchfamiliars，wasirresistiblyimpelledtogoandseehisheadrolloff。Iwendedmywaytowardsthecourt。Ididn’thopetobeverymuchimpressedoredified，orinterestedorevenfrightened——though，aslongasthereisanylifebeforeone，ajollygoodfrightnowandthenisasalutarydiscipline。ButneitherdidIexpecttobesoawfullydepressed。Thebitternessofhispunishmentwasinitschillandmeanatmosphere。Therealsignificanceofcrimeisinitsbeingabreachoffaithwiththecommunityofmankind，andfromthatpointofviewhewasnomeantraitor，buthisexecutionwasahole-and-corneraffair。Therewasnohighscaffolding，noscarletclothdidtheyhavescarletclothonTowerHill？Theyshouldhavehad，noawestrickenmultitudetobehorrifiedathisguiltandbemovedtotearsathisfate——noairofsombreretribution。Therewas，asIwalkedalong，theclearsunshine，abrilliancetoopassionatetobeconsoling，thestreetswerefullofjumbledbitsofcolourlikeadamagedkaleidoscope：yellow，green，blue，dazzlingwhite，thebrownnudityofanundrapedshoulder，abullock-cartwitharedcanopy，acompanyofnativeinfantryinadrabbodywithdarkheadsmarchingindustylacedboots，anativepolicemaninasombreuniformofscantycutandbeltedinpatentleather，wholookedupatmewithorientallypitifuleyesasthoughhismigratingspiritweresufferingexceedinglyfromthatunforeseen——whatd’yecall’em？——avatar——incarnation。Undertheshadeofalonelytreeinthecourtyard，thevillagersconnectedwiththeassaultcasesatinapicturesquegroup，lookinglikeachromo-lithographofacampinabookofEasterntravel。Onemissedtheobligatorythreadofsmokeintheforegroundandthepack-animalsgrazing。Ablankyellowwallrosebehindovertoppingthetree，reflectingtheglare。Thecourt-roomwassombre，seemedmorevast。Highupinthedimspacethepunkahswereswayingtoandfro，toandfro。Hereandthereadrapedfigure，dwarfedbythebarewalls，remainedwithoutstirringamongsttherowsofemptybenches，asifabsorbedinpiousmeditation。Theplaintiff，whohadbeenbeaten，anobesechocolate-colouredmanwithshavedhead，onefatbreastbareandabrightyellowcaste-markabovethebridgeofhisnose，satinpompousimmobility：onlyhiseyesglittered，rollinginthegloom，andthenostrilsdilatedandcollapsedviolentlyashebreathed。Brierlydroppedintohisseatlookingdoneup，asthoughhehadspentthenightinsprintingonacinder-track。Thepioussailing-shipskipperappearedexcitedandmadeuneasymovements，asifrestrainingwithdifficultyanimpulsetostandupandexhortusearnestlytoprayerandrepentance。Theheadofthemagistrate，delicatelypaleundertheneatlyarrangedhair，resembledtheheadofahopelessinvalidafterhehadbeenwashedandbrushedandproppedupinbed。Hemovedasidethevaseofflowers——abunchofpurplewithafewpinkblossomsonlongstalks——andseizinginbothhandsalongsheetofbluishpaper，ranhiseyeoverit，proppedhisforearmsontheedgeofthedeskandbegantoreadaloudinaneven，distinct，andcarelessvoice。
　　`ByJove!Forallmyfoolishnessaboutscaffoldsandheadsrollingoff——I
　　assureyouitwasinfinitelyworsethanabeheading。Aheavysenseoffinalitybroodedoverallthis，unrelievedbythehopeofrestandsafetyfollowingthefalloftheaxe。Theseproceedingshadallthecoldvengefulnessofadeathsentence，hadallthecrueltyofasentenceofexile。ThisishowIlookedatitthatmorning——andevennowIseemtoseeanundeniablevestigeoftruthinthatexaggeratedviewofacommonoccurrence。YoumayimaginehowstronglyIfeltthisatthetime。PerhapsitisforthatreasonthatIcouldnotbringmyselftoadmitthefinality。Thethingwasalwayswithme，Iwasalwayseagertotakeopiniononit，asthoughithadnotbeenpracticallysettled：individualopinion——internationalopinion——byJove!
　　ThatFrenchman’s，forinstance。Hisowncountry’spronouncementwasutteredinthepassionlessanddefinitephraseologyamachinewoulduse，ifmachinescouldspeak。Theheadofthemagistratewashalfhiddenbythepaper，hisbrowwaslikealabaster。
　　`Therewereseveralquestionsbeforethecourt。Thefirstastowhethertheshipwasineveryrespectfitandseaworthyforthevoyage。Thecourtfoundshewasnot。Thenextpoint，Iremember，was，whetheruptothetimeoftheaccidenttheshiphadbeennavigatedwithproperandseamanlikecare。TheysaidYestothat，goodnessknowswhy，andthentheydeclaredthattherewasnoevidencetoshowtheexactcauseoftheaccident。Afloatingderelict，probably。ImyselfrememberthataNorwegianbarqueboundoutwithacargoofpitch-pinehadbeengivenupasmissingaboutthattime，anditwasjustthesortofcraftthatwouldcapsizeinasquallandfloatbottomupformonths——akindofmaritimeghoulontheprowltokillshipsinthedark。SuchwanderingcorpsesarecommonenoughintheNorthAtlantic，whichishauntedbyalltheterrorsofthesea——fogs，icebergs，deadshipsbentuponmischief，andlongsinistergalesthatfastenupononelikeavampiretillallthethestrengthandthespiritandevenhopearegone，andonefeelsliketheemptyshellofaman。Butthere——inthoseseas——theincidentwasrareenoughtoresembleaspecialarrangementofamalevolentprovidence，which，unlessithadforitsobjectthekillingofadonkey-manandthebringingofworsethandeathuponJim，appearedanutterlyaimlesspieceofdevilry。Thisviewoccurringtometookoffmyattention。ForatimeIwasawareofthemagistrate’svoiceasasoundmerely；butinamomentitshapeditselfintodistinctwords……“inutterdisregardoftheirplainduty，“itsaid。Thenextsentenceescapedmesomehow，andthen……“abandoninginthemomentofdangerthelivesandpropertyconfidedtotheircharge“……wentonthevoiceevenly，andstopped。Apairofeyesunderthewhiteforeheadshotdarklyaglanceabovetheedgeofthepaper。IlookedforJimhurriedly，asthoughIhadexpectedhimtodisappear。
　　Hewasverystill——buthewasthere。Hesatpinkandfairandextremelyattentive。“Therefore，……“beganthevoiceemphatically。Hestaredwithpartedlips，hanginguponthewordsofthemanbehindthedesk。Thesecameoutintothestillnesswaftedonthewindmadebythepunkahs，andI，watchingfortheireffectuponhim，caughtonlyfragmentsofofficiallanguage……“TheCourt……GustavSo-and-somaster……nativeofGermany……JamesSo-and-so……mate……certificatescancelled。“Asilencefell。Themagistratehaddroppedthepaper，andleaningsidewaysonthearmofhischair，begantotalkwithBrierlyeasily。Peoplestartedtomoveout；otherswerepushingin，andIalsomadeforthedoor。OutsideIstoodstill，andwhenJimpassedonhiswaytothegate，Icaughtathisarmanddetainedhim。Thelookhegavediscomposedme，asthoughI