Ididallamancoulddotoreclaimher。Quiteuseless!ShehadneverreallyreturnedtheloveIfeltforher:Ihadnoinfluence;
Icoulddonothing。Mymother,hearingofthislastworsetrouble,resolvedtotrywhatherinfluencecoulddo。Illasshewas,I
foundheronedaydressedtogoout。
“Iamnotlongforthisworld,Francis,“shesaid。“Ishallnotfeeleasyonmydeathbed,unlessIhavedonemybesttothelasttomakeyouhappy。Imeantoputmyownfearsandmyownfeelingsoutofthequestion,andgowithyoutoyourwife,andtrywhatIcandotoreclaimher。Takemehomewithyou,Francis。LetmedoallIcantohelpmyson,beforeitistoolate。“
HowcouldIdisobeyher?Wetooktherailwaytothetown:itwasonlyhalfanhour’sride。Byoneo’clockintheafternoonwereachedmyhouse。Itwasourdinnerhour,andAliciawasinthekitchen。Iwasabletotakemymotherquietlyintotheparlorandthentopreparemywifeforthevisit。Shehaddrunkbutlittleatthatearlyhour;and,luckily,thedevilinherwastamedforthetime。
Shefollowedmeintotheparlor,andthemeetingpassedoffbetterthanIhadventuredtoforecast;withthisonedrawback,thatmymother——thoughshetriedhardtocontrolherself——shrankfromlookingmywifeinthefacewhenshespoketoher。ItwasarelieftomewhenAliciabegantopreparethetablefordinner。
Shelaidthecloth,broughtinthebreadtray,andcutsomeslicesforusfromtheloaf。Thenshereturnedtothekitchen。Atthatmoment,whileIwasstillanxiouslywatchingmymother,IwasstartledbyseeingthesameghastlychangepassoverherfacewhichhadaltereditinthemorningwhenAliciaandshefirstmet。
BeforeIcouldsayaword,shestartedupwithalookofhorror。
“Takemeback!——home,homeagain,Francis!Comewithme,andnevergobackmore!“
Iwasafraidtoaskforanexplanation;Icouldonlysignhertobesilent,andhelpherquicklytothedoor。Aswepassedthebreadtrayonthetable,shestoppedandpointedtoit。
“Didyouseewhatyourwifecutyourbreadwith?“sheasked。
“No,mother;Iwasnotnoticing。Whatwasit?“
“Look!“
Ididlook。Anewclaspknife,withabuckhornhandle,laywiththeloafinthebreadtray。Istretchedoutmyhandtopossessmyselfofit。Atthesamemoment,therewasanoiseinthekitchen,andmymothercaughtmebythearm。
“TheknifeoftheDream!Francis,I’mfaintwithfear——takemeawaybeforeshecomesback!“
Icouldn’tspeaktocomfortoreventoanswerher。SuperiorasI
wastosuperstition,thediscoveryoftheknifestaggeredme。Insilence,Ihelpedmymotheroutofthehouse;andtookherhome。
Iheldoutmyhandtosaygood-by。Shetriedtostopme。
“Don’tgoback,Francis!don’tgoback!“
“Imustgettheknife,mother。Imustgobackbythenexttrain。“
Iheldtothatresolution。BythenexttrainIwentback。
Mywifehad,ofcourse,discoveredoursecretdeparturefromthehouse。Shehadbeendrinking。Shewasinafuryofpassion。Thedinnerinthekitchenwasflungunderthegrate;theclothwasofftheparlortable。Wherewastheknife?
Iwasfoolishenoughtoaskforit。Sherefusedtogiveittome。
Inthecourseofthedisputebetweenuswhichfollowed,I
discoveredthattherewasahorriblestoryattachedtotheknife。
Ithadbeenusedinamurder——yearssince——andhadbeensoskillfullyhiddenthattheauthoritieshadbeenunabletoproduceitatthetrial。Byhelpofsomeofherdisreputablefriends,mywifehadbeenabletopurchasethisrelicofabygonecrime。Herpervertednaturesetsomehorridunacknowledgedvalueontheknife。
Seeingtherewasnohopeofgettingitbyfairmeans,Ideterminedtosearchforit,laterintheday,insecret。Thesearchwasunsuccessful。Nightcameon,andIleftthehousetowalkaboutthestreets。YouwillunderstandwhatabrokenmanIwasbythistime,whenItellyouIwasafraidtosleepinthesameroomwithher!
Threeweekspassed。Stillsherefusedtogiveuptheknife;andstillthatfearofsleepinginthesameroomwithherpossessedme。
Iwalkedaboutatnight,ordozedintheparlor,orsatwatchingbymymother’sbedside。Beforetheendofthefirstweekinthenewmonth,theworstmisfortuneofallbefellme——mymotherdied。Itwantedthenbutashorttimetomybirthday。Shehadlongedtolivetillthatday。Iwaspresentatherdeath。Herlastwordsinthisworldwereaddressedtome。“Don’tgoback,myson——don’tgoback!“
Iwasobligedtogoback,ifitwasonlytowatchmywife。Inthelastdaysofmymother’sillnessshehadspitefullyaddedastingtomygriefbydeclaringshewouldassertherrighttoattendthefuneral。InspiteofallthatIcoulddoorsay,sheheldtoherword。Onthedayappointedfortheburialsheforcedherself,inflamedandshamelesswithdrink,intomypresence,andsworeshewouldwalkinthefuneralprocessiontomymother’sgrave。
Thislastinsult——afterallIhadgonethroughalready——wasmorethanIcouldendure。Itmaddenedme。Trytomakeallowancesforamanbesidehimself。Istruckher。
Theinstanttheblowwasdealt,Irepentedit。Shecroucheddown,silent,inacorneroftheroom,andeyedmesteadily。Itwasalookthatcooledmyhotbloodinaninstant。Therewasnotimenowtothinkofmakingatonement。Icouldonlyrisktheworst,andmakesureofhertillthefuneralwasover。Ilockedherintoherbedroom。
WhenIcameback,afterlayingmymotherinthegrave,Ifoundhersittingbythebedside,verymuchalteredinlookandbearing,withabundleonherlap。Shefacedmequietly;shespokewithacuriousstillnessinhervoice——strangelyandunnaturallycomposedinlookandmanner。
“Nomanhaseverstruckmeyet,“shesaid。“Myhusbandshallhavenosecondopportunity。Setthedooropen,andletmego。“
Shepassedme,andlefttheroom。Isawherwalkawayupthestreet。Wasshegoneforgood?
AllthatnightIwatchedandwaited。Nofootstepcamenearthehouse。Thenextnight,overcomewithfatigue,Ilaydownonthebedinmyclothes,withthedoorlocked,thekeyonthetable,andthecandleburning。Myslumberwasnotdisturbed。Thethirdnight,thefourth,thefifth,thesixth,passed,andnothinghappened。Ilaydownontheseventhnight,stillsuspiciousofsomethinghappening;stillinmyclothes;stillwiththedoorlocked,thekeyonthetable,andthecandleburning。
Myrestwasdisturbed。Iawoketwice,withoutanysensationofuneasiness。Thethirdtime,thathorridshiveringofthenightatthelonelyinn,thatawfulsinkingpainattheheart,camebackagain,androusedmeinaninstant。Myeyesturnedtotheleft-
handsideofthebed。Andtherestood,lookingatme——
TheDreamWomanagain?No!Mywife。Thelivingwoman,withthefaceoftheDream——intheattitudeoftheDream——thefairarmup;
theknifeclaspedinthedelicatewhitehand。
Ispranguponherontheinstant;butnotquicklyenoughtostopherfromhidingtheknife。Withoutawordfromme,withoutacryfromher,Ipinionedherinachair。WithonehandIfeltuphersleeve;andthere,wheretheDreamWomanhadhiddentheknife,mywifehadhiddenit——theknifewiththebuckhornhandle,thatlookedlikenew。
WhatIfeltwhenImadethatdiscoveryIcouldnotrealizeatthetime,andIcan’tdescribenow。Itookonesteadylookatherwiththeknifeinmyhand。“Youmeanttokillme?“Isaid。
“Yes,“sheanswered;“Imeanttokillyou。“Shecrossedherarmsoverherbosom,andstaredmecoollyintheface。“Ishalldoityet,“shesaid。“Withthatknife。“
Idon’tknowwhatpossessedme——IsweartoyouIamnocoward;andyetIactedlikeacoward。Thehorrorsgotholdofme。Icouldn’tlookather——Icouldn’tspeaktoher。Ileftherwiththeknifeinmyhand,andwentoutintothenight。
Therewasableakwindabroad,andthesmellofrainwasintheair。ThechurchclockschimedthequarterasIwalkedbeyondthelasthouseinthetown。IaskedthefirstpolicemanImetwhathourthatwas,ofwhichthequarterpasthadjuststruck。
Themanlookedathiswatch,andanswered,“Twoo’clock。“Twointhemorning。Whatdayofthemonthwasthisdaythathadjustbegun?Ireckoneditupfromthedateofmymother’sfuneral。Thehorridparallelbetweenthedreamandtherealitywascomplete——itwasmybirthday!
HadIescapedthemortalperilwhichthedreamforetold?orhadI
onlyreceivedasecondwarning?AsthatdoubtcrossedmymindI
stoppedonmywayoutofthetown。Theairhadrevivedme——Ifeltinsomedegreelikemyownselfagain。Afteralittlethinking,I
begantoseeplainlythemistakeIhadmadeinleavingmywifefreetogowhereshelikedandtodoasshepleased。
Iturnedinstantly,andmademywaybacktothehouse。Itwasstilldark。Ihadleftthecandleburninginthebedchamber。WhenIlookeduptothewindowoftheroomnow,therewasnolightinit。Iadvancedtothehousedoor。Ongoingaway,Irememberedtohaveclosedit;ontryingitnow,Ifounditopen。
Iwaitedoutside,neverlosingsightofthehousetilldaylight。
ThenIventuredindoors——listened,andheardnothing——lookedintothekitchen,scullery,parlor,andfoundnothing——wentupatlastintothebedroom。Itwasempty。
Apicklocklayonthefloor,whichtoldmehowshehadgainedentranceinthenight。AndthatwastheonetraceIcouldfindoftheDreamWoman。
第39章