Rather,hewasasnow-whitedove,thoughnonebutIrealisedthefact。Andnowhehasbeenwithdrawnfromthe’grievousbondageofPharaoh。’OnlyIamleft。Verily,aftermypassing,shallmysoultormentandvomitspittleuponhisadversaries!“
“Haveyouknownmuchsorrow?“
Thedeacondidnotreplyatonce。Whenhedidsohesaiddully:
“Allofushaveknownmuchsorrow。Insomecaseswehaveknownmorethanwasrightfullyourdue。Icertainly,haveknownmuch。
Butgotosleep,foronlyinsleepdowerecoverwhatisours。“
Andheaddedashetrippedoverhisownfeet,andlurchedheavilyagainstme:
“Ihavealongingtosingsomething。YetIfeelthatIhadbestnot,forsongatsuchanhourawakensfolk,andstartsthembawling……ButbeyondallthingswouldIgladlysing。“
Withwhichhebuzzedintomyear:
“TowhomshallIsingofmygrief?
Towhomresortforrelief?
TotheOneinwhoseha-a-and——“
Atthispointthesharpbristlesofhisbeardsotickledmyneckastocausemetoedgefurtheraway。
“Youdonotlikeme?“hequeried。“Thengotosleep,andtothedeviltoo!“
“Itwasyourbeardthatwasticklingme。“
“Indeed?OughtItohaveshavedforyourbenefitbeforeIcame?“
Hereflectedawhile——thensubsidedontothefloorwithasniffandanangryexclamationof:
“Read,you,whilstIsleep。Andseetoitthatyoudonotmakeoffwiththebook,foritbelongstothechurch,andisveryvaluable。Yes。Iknowyouhard-ups!Whydoyougoroamingaboutasyoudo——whatisityouhopetogainbyyourtramping?……
However,trampasmuchasyoulike。Yes,beoff,andtellpeoplethatadeaconhascomebymisfortune,andisinneedofsomegoodpersontotakepityuponhisplight……DiomidKubasovmynameis——thatofamanlostbeyondrecall。“
Withwhichhefellasleep。Openingthebookatrandom,Ireadthewords:
“Alandunapportionedthatshallproduceanourisherofhumanity,abeingthatshallputforththebountyofhishandtofeedeverycreature。“
“Anourisherofhumanity。“Beforemyeyesthat“nourisher“layoutspread,anourisheroverlaidwithdryandfragrantherbage。
AndasIgazed,inthehazeofavision,uponthatnourisher’sdarkandenigmaticalface,Isawalsothethousandsofmenwhohaveseamedthisearthwithfurrows,totheendthatdeadthingsshouldbecomethingsoflife。Andinparticular,thereuprosebeforemeapicturestrangeindeed。InthatpictureIsawmarchingoverthesteppe,wheretheexpanselaybareandvoid——yes,marchingincirclesthatincreasinglyembracedawideningarea——agigantic,thousand-handedbeinginwhosetrainthedeadsteppegathereduntoitselfvitality,andbecameswathedinjuicy,wavingverdure,andstuddedwithtownsandvillages。Andever,asthebeingrecededfurtherandfurtherintothedistance,couldI
seehimsowingwithtirelesshandsthatwhichhadinitlife,andwaspartofhimself,andhumanas,withthoughtsintentuponthebenefitingofhumanity,hesummonedallmentoputforththemysteriousforcethatisinthem,andthustoconquerdeath,andeternallyandinvinciblytoconvert,deadthingsintothingsoflife,whiletraversingincompanytheroadofdeathtowardsthatwhichhasnoknowledgeofdeath,andensuringthat,inswallowingupmankind,thejawsofdeathshouldnotcloseupondeath’svictims。
Andthiscausedmyhearttobeatwithemotionsthepulsingwingsofwhichatoncegladdenedme,andcooledmyfervour……Andhowgreatly,atthatmoment,didIfeeltheneedofsomeoneabletorespondtomyquestionswithoutpassion,yetwithtruth,andinthelanguageofsimplicity!Forbesidemetherelaybutamandeadandamandrunken,whilewithoutthethresholdtherewasstationedonewhohadfaroutlivedherspanofyears。Nomatter,however。Ifnottoday,thentomorrow,shouldIfindafellow-
creaturewithwhommysoulmightcommune。
MentallyIleftthehut,andpassedontothesteppe,thatI
mightcontemplatethencethelittledwellinginwhichalone,thoughlostamidtheearth’simmensity,thewindowswerenotblindandblackasinitsfellowhuts,butshowed,burningovertheheadofadeadhumanbeing,thefirewhichhumanityhadconqueredforhumanity’sbenefit。
Andthatheartwhichhadceasedtobeatinthedeadman——hadeverythingconceivedinlifebythatheartfounddueexpressioninaworldpoverty,strickenofheart-conceivedideas?Iknewthatthemanjustpassedawayhadbeenbutaplainandinsignificantmortal,yetasIreflecteduponeventhelittlethathehaddone,hislabourloomedbeforemeasgreaterthanprowessoflargermagnitude。Yes,tomymindthererecurredtheimmature,batteredearsofcornlyingintherutsofthesteppetrack,theswallowstraversingtheblueskyabovethegolden,brocadedgrain,thekitehoveringinthevoidoverthelandscape’svastperiphery。
Andalongwiththesethoughts,therestruckuponmyearsawhistlingofpinionsastheshadowofabirdflittedacrossthebrilliant,dew-bespangledgreenoftheforecourt,andfivecockscrowedinsuccession,andaflockofgeeseannouncedthefactoftheirawakening,andacowlowed,andthegateofthecattle-pencreaked。
AndwiththatIfelltothinkinghowIshouldlikereallytogooutontothesteppe,andtheretofallasleepunderawarm,drybank。
Asforthedeacon,hewasstillslumberingatmyfeet——slumberingwithhisbreast,thebreastofaprize-fighter,turneduppermost,andhisfine,goldenshockofhairfallinglikeanimbusaroundhishead,andhot,fat,flushedredfeaturesandgapingmouthandceaselesslytwitchingmoustache。Inpassing,Ihadnoticedthathishandswerelong,andthattheyweresetuponshovel-shapedwrists。
NextIfoundmyselfimaginingthesceneasthepowerfulfigureofthismanembracedawoman。Probablyherfacewouldbecomelosttosightinhisbeard,untilnothingofherfeaturesremainedvisible。Then,whenthebeardbegantotickleher,shewouldthrowbackherhead,andlaugh。Andthechildrenthatsuchamanmighthavebegotten!
Allthisonlymadeitthemorepainfulanddisagreeabletometoreflectthatthebreastofahumanbeingofsuchatypeshouldbebearingaburdenofsorrow。Surelynaughtbutjoyshouldhavebeenpresenttherein!
Meanwhile,theoldwoman’sgentlefacewasstillpeeringatmethroughthedoorway,andpresentlythefirstbeamofsunlightcameglancingthroughthewindow-space。Abovetherivulet’ssilkyglimmer,atransparentmistlaysteaming,whiletreesandherbagealikewerepassingthroughthatcuriouslyinertstagewhenatanymomentsoonefanciedtheymightgivethemselvesashake,andburstintosong,andinkeysintelligibletothesoulalone,setforththewondrousmysteryoftheirexistence。
“Whatagoodmanheis!“theoldwomanwhisperedplaintivelyasshegazedatthedeacon’sgiganticframe。Whereafter,asthoughreadingaloudfromabookinvisibletomysight,sheproceededquietlyandsimplytorelatethestoryofhiswife。
“Yousee,“shewenton“hisladycommittedacertainsinwithacertainman;andfolkremarkedthis,and,aftersettingthehusbandontothecouple,deridedhim——yes,him,ourDemid!——forthereasonthathepersistedinforgivingthewomanherfault。Atlengththejeersmadehertaketoherroomandhimtoliquor,andfortwoyearspasthehasbeendrinking,andsoonisgoingtobedeprivedofhisoffice。Onewhoscarcelydrankatall,mypoorhusband,usedtosay:’Ah,Demid,yieldnottothesefolk,butliveyourownlife,andlettheirsbetheirs,andyours,yours。’“
Withthewords,tearswelledfromtheoldwoman’sdim,smalleyes,andbecamemergedwiththefoldsandwrinklesonhergrief-
stainedcheeks。Andinthepresenceofthatlittlehead,aheadshakinglikeadeadleafintheautumntime,andofthosekindlyfeaturessowornwithageandsorrow,myeyesfell,andIfeltsmittenwithshametofindthat,onsearchingmysoulforatleastawordofconsolationtooffertothepoorfellow-mortalbeforeme,Icoulddiscovernonethatseemedsuitable。
ButatlengththererecurredtomymindsomestrangewordswhichIhadencounteredinIknownotwhatantiquevolume——wordswhichran:
“LetnottheservantsoftheGodslamentbut,rather,rejoice,inthatweepingandlamentationgrieveboththeGodsandmankind。“
Thereafter,Imutteredconfusedly:
“ItistimethatIwasgoing。“
“What?“washerhastyexclamation,anexclamationutteredasthoughthewordshadaffrightedher。Whereafter,withquiveringlips,shebeganhesitantlyanduncertainlytofumbleinherbodice。
“No,Ihavenoneedofmoney,“Iinterposed。“Only,ifyoushouldbesowilling,givemeapieceofbread。“
“Youhavenoneedofmoney?“shere-echoeddubiously。
“No,none。Forthatmatter,ofwhatusecoulditbetome?“
“Well,well!“shesaidafterathoughtfulpause。“Thenbeitasyouwish,and——andIthankyou。“
Thesun,asheroseandascendedtowardstheblueofthefirmament,wasspreadingovertheearthabraggart,peacock-liketailofbeams。Andashedidso,Iwinkedathim,forbyexperienceIknewthatsometwohourslaterhissmileswouldbescorchingmewithfire。YetforthetimebeingheandIhadnofaulttofindwithoneanother。Wherefore,IsetmyselftosearchforabankwhenceImightsingtohim,astotheLordofLife:
0hThouofintangiblesubstance,Revealnowthatsubstancetome!
EnwrapmewithinthegreatvestmentOflightwhichencompassethThee!
ThatwithThyuprising,mysubstanceMayComeall-prevailingtobe!
“Letusliveourlivesuntoourselves。Lettheirsbetheirs,andours,ours。“
End
第63章