“Veryreadyareyoutoweep,butIshouldlikefirsttoheartheexactcircumstancesofthelad’sdeath。“
Thusinvited,thewomanwipedhereyeswiththesleeveofherbodice,lickedherlips,heavedaprolongedsigh,andfelltoregardingAntipa’sred,hardbittenfacewiththecheerful,unabashedglanceofapersonwhoisundertheinfluenceofliquor。Fromunderherwhitehead-bandtherehadfallenoverhertemplesandherrightcheekafewwispsofgoldenhair;andindeed,asshedrewherselfup,andtossedherheadandbosom,andsmoothedoutandstretchedthecreasesinherbodice,shelookedlessthanheryears。Everyonenowfelltoeyeingherinanattentivesilence,thoughnot,itwouldseem,withoutatouchofenvy。
Abruptly,sternly,theoldmaninquired:
“Didtheladevercomplainofill-health?“
“No,never,“Felitzatareplied。“Neveroncedidhespeakofit——neveronce。“
“Andhehadnotbeenbeaten?“
“Oh,howcanyouaskmesuchathing,andespeciallyseeingthat,that——?“
“IdidnotsaybeatenbyYOU。“
“Well,Icannotanswerforanyoneelse,butatleasthadhenomarkonhisbody,seeingthatwhenIliftedthesmockIcouldfindnothingsaveforscratchesonlegsandback。“
Hertonenowhadinitanewring,aringofincreasedassurance,andwhenshehadfinishedsheclosedherbrighteyeslanguidlybeforeheavingasoft,asitwere,voluptuous,and,withal,veryaudiblesigh。
Someoneheremurmured:
“SheDIDusetobeathim。“
“What?“
“Atalleventssheusedtolosehertemperwithhim。“
Thisledtotheputtingofafurtherdozenorsoofleadingquestions;whereafterAntipa,forawhile,preservedasuggestivesilence,andthecrowdtooremainedsilent,asthoughithadsuddenlybeenlulledtoslumber。Onlyatlonglast,andwithaclearingofhisthroat,didAntipasay:
“Friends,wemustsupposethatGod,ofHisinfiniteMercy,hasvouchsafedtoushereaspecialvisitation,inthat,asallofushaveperceived,aladbereftofwit,thesameradiantladwhomallofushaveknown,hashereabidedintheclosestofcommunionwiththeBlessedDispenseroflifeonearth。“
ThenImovedaway,foruponmyhearttherewaspressingaburdenofunendurablesorrow,andIwasyearning,oh,soterribly,toseeNilushkaoncemore。
ThebackportionofFelitzata’scotstoodalittlesunkenintotheground,sothatthefrontportionhaditscoldwindowpanesandraisedsashtiltedatrifletowardstheremoteheavens。I
bentmyhead,andenteredbytheopendoor。NearthethresholdNilushkawaslyingonanarrowchestagainstthewall。Thefoldsofadark-redpillowoffustianundertheheadsetofftoperfectionthepalebluetintofhisround,innocentfaceunderitscoronaofgoldencurls;andthoughtheeyeswereclosed,andthelipspressedtightlytogether,hestillseemedtobesmilinginhisoldquiet,butjoyous,way。Ingeneral,thetall,thinfigureonthemattressofdarkfelt,withitsbarelegs,anditsslenderhandsandwristsfoldedacrossthebreast,remindedmelessofanangelthanofacertainimageoftheHolyChildwithwhichablackenedoldikonhadrenderedmefamiliarfrommyboyhoodupwards。
Everythingamidthepurplegloomwasstill。Eventheflieswereforbearingtobuzz。Onlyfromthestreetwastheregratingthroughtheshadedwindowthestrong,roguishvoiceofFelitzataasittracedthestrange,lugubriousword-pattern:
Withmybosompressedtothewarm,greyearth,Tothee,greyearth,tothee,0hmymotherofold,Ibeseechthee,Iwhoamamotherlikethee,Andamotherinpain,toenfoldinthyarmsThismyson,thismydeadson,thismyruby,Thismydropofmyheart’sblood,thismy——
SuddenlyIcaughtsightofAntipastandinginthedoorway。Hewaswipinghiseyeswiththebackofhishand。Presentlyinagruffandunsteadyvoicehesaid:
“Itisallveryfineforyoutoweep,goodwoman,butthepresentisnottherightmomenttosingsuchversesasthose——theyweremeant,rather,tobesunginagraveyardatthesideofatomb。Well,tellmeeverythingwithoutreserve。
ImportantisitthatIshouldknowEVERYTHING。“
Whereafter,havingcrossedhimselfwithafalteringhand,hecarefullyscrutinisedthecorpse,andatlastlethiseyeshaltuponthelad’ssweetfeatures。Thenhemutteredsadly:
“Howextraordinarilyhehasgrown!Yes,deathhasindeedenlargedhim!Ah,well,sobeit!SoonItooshallhavetobestretchingmyselfout。Ohthatitwerenow!“
Thenwithcautiousmovementsofhisdeformedfingershestraightenedthefoldsofthelad’ssmock,anddrewitoverthelegs。Whereafterhepressedhisflushedlipstothehemofthegarment。
SaidItohimatthatmoment:
“Whatisitthatyouhavebeenwantingofhim?Whyisitthatyouhavebeentryingtoteachhimstrangewords?“
Straighteninghimself,andglancingatmewithdimeyes,Antiparepeated:
“WhatisitthatIhavebeenwantingofhim?“Totherepetitionheaddedwithmanifestsincerity,thoughalsowithaself-depreciatorymovementofthehead:
“Totellthetruth,IscarcelyknowWHATitisthatIhavebeenwantingofhim。ByGodIdonot。Yet,asonespeakingthetruthinthepresenceofdeath,IsaythatneverduringmylonglifetimehadIsodesiredaughtelse……Yes,Ihavewaitedandwaitedforfortunetorevealittome;andeverhasfortuneremainedmuteandtongueless。Foolishwasitofmetohaveexpectedotherwise,tohaveexpected,forinstance,thatsomedaytheremightoccursomethingmarvellous,somethingunlooked-for。“
Withashortlaugh,heindicatedthecorpsewithhiseyes,andcontinuedmorefirmly:
“Yes,bootlesswasittohaveexpectedanythingfromsuchasourceasthat。Never,despiteone’swishes,wasanythingpossibleofacquisitionthence……Thisisusuallythecase。
Felitzata,asacleverwomanindeedalbeitonecoldofheart,wasforhavinghersonaccountedaGod’sfool,andtherebygainingsomeprovisionagainstheroldage。“
“Butyouyourselfwerethepersonwhosuggestedthat?Youyourselfwishedit?“
“I?“
Presently。thrustinghishandsuphissleeves,headdeddullyandbrokenly:
“Yes,IDIDwishit。Whynot,indeed,seeingthatatleastitwouldhavebroughtcomforttothepoorpeopleofthisplace?
SometimesIfeelverysorryforthemwiththeirbitter,troublouslives——liveswhichmaybethelivesofroguesandvillains,yetareliveswhichhaveproducedamongstusapravednik,“[A“justperson,“ahumanbeingwithoutsin]。
Alltheeveningskywasnowaflame。Upontheeartherefellthemournfullament:
Whensnowhasveiledtheearthinwhite,Thesnowyplainthewildwolvestread。
TheywailforthecheeringwarmthofspringAsIbewailthebairnthat’sdead。
Vologonovlistenedforamoment。Thenhesaidfirmly:
“Thesearemereaccessesofimpulsewhichcomeuponher。Andthatisonlywhatmightbeexpected。Evenasinsongorinvicethereisnoholdingher,soremorse,whenithasfasteneduponsuchawoman’sheart,willknownobounds。Imaytellyouthatononeoccasiontwoyoungmerchantstookher,strippedherstarknaked,anddroveherintheircarriagedownZhitnaiaStreet,withthemselvessittingontheseatsofthevehicle,andFelitzatastandinguprightbetweenthem——yes,inastateofnudity!Thereaftertheybeatheralmosttodeath。“
AsIsteppedoutintothedark,narrowvestibule,Antipa,whowasfollowingme,muttered:
“Suchalamentasherscouldcomeonlyofgenuinegrief。“
WefoundFelitzatainfrontofthehut,withherbackcoveringthewindow。There,withhandspressedtoherbosom,andherskirtallawry,shewasstrainingherdishevelledheadtowardstheheavens,whiletheeveningbreeze,stirringherfineauburnhair,scattereditpromiscuouslyoverherflushed,sharply-definedfeaturesandwildlyprotrudingeyes。Abizarre,pitiable,andextraordinaryfiguredidshecutasshewailedinathroatyvoicewhichconstantlygatheredstrength:
0hwindsofice,windscruelandrude,Pressonmyhearttillitsthrobbingsfail!
Arrestthecurrentofmyblood!
Turnthesehotmeltingtearstohail!
Beforehertherewaspostedaknotofwomen,compassionatecontemplatorsofthesinger’sdistracted,grief-wroughtfeatures。Throughtheravine’sdarkopeningIcouldseethesunsinkingbelowthesuburbbeforeplungingintothemarshyforestandhavinghisdiskpiercedbysharp,blacktipsofpinetrees。
Alreadyeverythingaroundhimwasred。Already,seemingly,hehadbeenwounded,andwasbleedingtodeath。
第23章