MynewpicturesarrivedlastweekontheGascogne。ThePuvisdeChavannesisevenmorebeautifulthanIthoughtitinParis。Apaledream-maidensitsbyapaledream-cowandastreamofanemicwaterflowsatherfeet。TheConstant,youwillremember,Igotbecauseyouadmiredit。Itishereinallitsfloridsplendour,thewholedominatedbyaglowingsensuosity。Thedraperyofthefemalefigureisaswonderfulasyousaid;thefabricallbarbaricpearlandgold,paintedwithaneasy,effortlessvoluptuousness,andthatwhite,gleaminglineofAfricancoastinthebackgroundrecallsmemoriesofyouveryprecioustome。ButitisuselesstodenythatConstantirritatesme。ThoughIcannotprovethechargeagainsthim,hisbrilliancyalwaysmakesmesuspecthimofcheapness。
HereMargaretstoppedandglancedattheremainingpagesofthisstrangelove-letter。Theyseemedtobefilledchieflywithdiscussionsofpicturesandbooks,andwithaslowsmileshelaidthemby。
Sheroseandbeganundressing。Beforeshelaydownshewenttoopenthewindow。Withherhandonthesill,shehesitated,feelingsuddenlyasthoughsomedangerwerelurkingoutside,someinordinatedesirewaitingtospringuponherinthedarkness。Shestoodthereforalongtime,gazingattheinfinitesweepofthesky。
“Oh,itisallsolittle,solittlethere,“shemurmured。
“Wheneverythingelseissodwarfed,whyshouldoneexpectlovetobegreat?Whyshouldonetrytoreadhighlycolouredsuggestionsintoalifelikethat?IfonlyIcouldfindonethinginitallthatmatteredgreatly,onethingthatwouldwarmmewhenIamalone!Willlifenevergivemethatonegreatmoment?“
Assheraisedthewindow,sheheardasoundintheplumbushesoutside。Itwasonlythehouse-dogrousedfromhissleep,butMargaretstartedviolentlyandtrembledsothatshecaughtthefootofthebedforsupport。Againshefeltherselfpursuedbysomeoverwhelminglonging,somedesperatenecessityforherself,liketheoutstretchingofhelpless,unseenarmsinthedarkness,andtheairseemedheavywithsighsofyearning。Shefledtoherbedwiththewords,“IloveyoumorethanChristwhodiedforme!“ringinginherears。
AboutmidnightthedanceatLockhart’swasatitsheight。
Eventheoldmenwhohadcometo“lookon“caughtthespiritofrevelryandstampedthefloorwiththevigorofoldSilenus。ErictooktheviolinfromtheFrenchmen,andMinnaOlesonsatattheorgan,andthemusicgrewmoreandmorecharacteristic——rude,halfmournfulmusic,madeupofthefolksongsoftheNorth,thatthevillagerssingthroughthelongnightinhamletsbythesea,whentheyarethinkingofthesun,andthespring,andthefishermensolongaway。ToMargaretsomeofitsoundedlikeGrieg’sPeerGyntmusic。Shefoundsomethingirresistiblyinfectiousinthemirthofthesepeoplewhoweresoseldommerry,andshefeltalmostoneofthem。Somethingseemedstrugglingforfreedominthemtonight,somethingofthejoyouschildhoodofthenationswhichexilehadnotkilled。Thegirlswereallboisterouswithdelight。Pleasurecametothembutrarely,andwhenitcame,theycaughtatitwildlyandcrusheditsflutteringwingsintheirstrongbrownfingers。Theyhadahardlifeenough,mostofthem。
Torridsummersandfreezingwinters,labouranddrudgeryandignorance,weretheportionoftheirgirlhood;ashortwooing,ahasty,lovelessmarriage,unlimitedmaternity,thanklesssons,prematureageandugliness,werethedoweroftheirwomanhood。Butwhatmatter?Tonighttherewashotliquorintheglassandhotbloodintheheart;tonighttheydanced。
TonightEricHermannsonhadrenewedhisyouth。Hewasnolongerthebig,silentNorwegianwhohadsatatMargaret’sfeetandlookedhopelesslyintohereyes。Tonighthewasaman,withaman’srightsandaman’spower。TonighthewasSiegfriedindeed。
Hishairwasyellowastheheavywheatintheripeofsummer,andhiseyesflashedlikethebluewaterbetweentheicepacksinthenorthseas。HewasnotafraidofMargarettonight,andwhenhedancedwithherheheldherfirmly。Shewastiredanddraggedonhisarmalittle,butthestrengthofthemanwaslikeanall-
pervadingfluid,stealingthroughherveins,awakeningunderherheartsomenameless,unsuspectedexistencethathadslumberedtherealltheseyearsandthatwentoutthroughherthrobbingfingertipstohisthatanswered。Shewonderedifthehoydenishbloodofsomelawlessancestor,longasleep,werecallingoutinhertonight,somedropofahotterfluidthatthecenturieshadfailedtocool,andwhy,ifthiscursewereinher,ithadnotspokenbefore。Butwasitacurse,thisawakening,thiswealthbeforeundiscovered,thismusicsetfree?Forthefirsttimeinherlifeherheartheldsomethingstrongerthanherself,wasnotthisworthwhile?Thensheceasedtowonder。Shelostsightofthelightsandthefacesandthemusicwasdrownedbythebeatingofherownarteries。Shesawonlytheblueeyesthatflashedaboveher,feltonlythewarmthofthatthrobbinghandwhichheldhersandwhichthebloodofhisheartfed。Dimly,asinadream,shesawthedroopingshoulders,highwhiteforeheadandtight,cynicalmouthofthemanshewastomarryinDecember。Foranhourshehadbeencrowdingbackthememoryofthatfacewithallherstrength。
“Letusstop,thisisenough,“shewhispered。Hisonlyanswerwastotightenthearmbehindher。Shesighedandletthatmasterfulstrengthbearherwhereitwould。Sheforgotthatthismanwaslittlemorethanasavage,thattheywouldpartatdawn。
Thebloodhasnomemories,noreflections,noregretsforthepast,noconsiderationofthefuture。
“Letusgooutwhereitiscooler,“shesaidwhenthemusicstopped;thinking,Iamgrowingfainthere,Ishallbeallrightintheopenair。Theysteppedoutintothecool,blueairofthenight。
Sincetheolderfolkhadbegundancing,theyoungNorwegianshadbeenslippingoutincouplestoclimbthewindmilltowerintothecooleratmosphere,asistheircustom。
“Youliketogoup?“askedEric,closetoherear。
Sheturnedandlookedathimwithsuppressedamusement。“Howhighisit?“
“Fortyfeet,about。Inotletyoufall。“Therewasanoteofirresistiblepleadinginhisvoice,andshefeltthathetremendouslywishedhertogo。Well,whynot?Thiswasanightoftheunusual,whenshewasnotherselfatall,butwaslivinganunreality。Tomorrow,yes,inafewhours,therewouldbetheVestibuleLimitedandtheworld。
“Well,ifyou’lltakegoodcareofme。Iusedtobeabletoclimb,whenIwasalittlegirl。“
Onceatthetopandseatedontheplatform,theyweresilent。
Margaretwonderedifshewouldnothungerforthatsceneallherlife,throughalltheroutineofthedaystocome。AbovethemstretchedthegreatWesternsky,serenelyblue,eveninthenight,withitsbig,burningstars,neversocoldanddeadandfarawayasindenseratmospheres。Themoonwouldnotbeupfortwentyminutesyet,andallaboutthehorizon,thatwidehorizon,whichseemedtoreacharoundtheworld,lingeredapalewhitelight,asofauniversaldawn。Thewearywindbroughtuptothemtheheavyodoursofthecornfields。Themusicofthedancesoundedfaintlyfrombelow。Ericleanedonhiselbowbesideher,hislegsswingingdownontheladder。HisgreatshoulderslookedmorethaneverlikethoseofthestoneDoryphorus,whostandsinhisperfect,reposefulstrengthintheLouvre,andhadoftenmadeherwonderifsuchmendiedforeverwiththeyouthofGreece。
“Howsweetthecornsmellsatnight,“saidMargaretnervously。
“Yes,liketheflowersthatgrowinparadise,Ithink。“
Shewassomewhatstartledbythisreply,andmorestartledwhenthistaciturnmanspokeagain。
“Yougoawaytomorrow?“
“Yes,wehavestayedlongerthanwethoughttonow。“
“Younotcomebackanymore?“
“No,Iexpectnot。Yousee,itisalongtriphalfwayacrossthecontinent。“
“Yousoonforgetaboutthiscountry,Iguess。“Itseemedtohimnowalittlethingtolosehissoulforthiswoman,butthatsheshouldutterlyforgetthisnightintowhichhethrewallhislifeandallhiseternity,thatwasabitterthought。
“No,Eric,Iwillnotforget。Youhaveallbeentookindtomeforthat。Andyouwon’tbesorryyoudancedthisonenight,willyou?“
“Ineverbesorry。Ihavenotbeensohappybefore。Inotbesohappyagain,ever。Youwillbehappymanynightsyet,Ionlythisone。Iwilldreamsometimes,maybe。“
Themightyresignationofhistonealarmedandtouchedher。
Itwasaswhensomegreatanimalcomposesitselffordeath,aswhenagreatshipgoesdownatsea。
Shesighed,butdidnotanswerhim。Hedrewalittlecloserandlookedintohereyes。
“Youarenotalwayshappy,too?“heasked。
“No,notalways,Eric;notveryoften,Ithink。“
“Youhaveatrouble?“
“Yes,butIcannotputitintowords。PerhapsifIcoulddothat,Icouldcureit。“
Heclaspedhishandstogetheroverhisheart,aschildrendowhentheypray,andsaidfalteringly,“IfIownalltheworld,Igivehimyou。“
Margaretfeltasuddenmoistureinhereyes,andlaidherhandonhis。
“Thankyou,Eric;Ibelieveyouwould。ButperhapseventhenIshouldnotbehappy。PerhapsIhavetoomuchofitalready。“
Shedidnottakeherhandawayfromhim;shedidnotdare。
Shesatstillandwaitedforthetraditionsinwhichshehadalwaysbelievedtospeakandsaveher。Buttheyweredumb。Shebelongedtoanultra-refinedcivilizationwhichtriestocheatnaturewithelegantsophistries。Cheatnature?Bah!Onegenerationmaydoit,perhapstwo,butthethird——Canweeverriseabovenatureorsinkbelowher?DidshenotturnonJerusalemasuponSodom,uponSt。AnthonyinhisdesertasuponNeroinhisseraglio?Doesshenotalwayscryinbrutaltriumph:“Iamherestill,atthebottomofthings,warmingtherootsoflife;youcannotstarvemenortamemenorthwartme;Imadetheworld,Iruleit,andIamitsdestiny。“