Inoddedandwenton。
Iwentontoourchamber,forthereI
thoughtthatIshouldfindOtomie。
Shesatinitalone,coldandbeautifulasthoughshehadbeenfashionedinmarble。
’Ihaveburiedhimwiththebonesofhisbrethrenandhisforefathers,’shesaid,answeringthequestionthatmyeyesasked。
’Itseemedbestthatyoushouldseehimnomore,lestyourheartshouldbreak。’
’Itiswell,’Ianswered;’butmyheartisbrokenalready。’
’Isthemurdererdead?’shesaidpresentlyintheverywordsofDiaz。
’Heisdead。’
’How?’
Itoldherinfewwords。
’Youshouldhaveslainhimyourself;ourson’sbloodisnotavenged。’
’Ishouldhaveslainhim,butinthathourIdidnotseekvengeance,Iwatcheditfallfromheaven,andwascontent。
Perchanceitisbestso。
Theseekingofvengeancehasbroughtallmysorrowsuponme;vengeancebelongstoGodandnottoman,asI
havelearnedtoolate。’
’Idonotthinkso,’saidOtomie,andthelookuponherfacewasthatlookwhichIhadseenwhenshesmotetheTlascalan,whenshetauntedMarina,andwhenshedanceduponthepyramid,theleaderofthesacrifice。
’HadIbeeninyourplace,Iwouldhavekilledhimbyinches。
WhenIhaddonewithhim,thenthedevilsmightbegin,notbefore。
Butitisofnoaccount;everythingisdonewith,allaredead,andmyheartwiththem。
Noweat,foryouareweary。’
SoIate,andafterwardsIcastmyselfuponthebedandslept。
InthedarknessIheardthevoiceofOtomiethatsaid,’Awake,I
wouldspeakwithyou,’andtherewasthatabouthervoicewhichstirredmefrommyheavysleep。
’Speakon,’Isaid。
’Whereareyou,Otomie?’
’Seatedatyourside。
Icannotrest,soIamseatedhere。
Listen。
Many,manyyearsagowemet,whenyouwerebroughtbyGuatemocfromTobasco。
Ah!welldoIremembermyfirstsightofyou,theTeule,inthecourtofmyfatherMontezuma,atChapoltepec。
IlovedyouthenasIhavelovedyoueversince。
AtleastIhavenevergoneastrayafterstrangegods,’andshelaughedbitterly。
’Whydoyoutalkofthesethings,Otomie?’Iasked。
’Becauseitismyfancytodoso。
Cannotyousparemeonehourfromyoursleep,whohavesparedyousomany?
Yourememberhowyouscornedme——oh!IthoughtIshouldhavediedofshamewhen,afterI
hadcausedmyselftobegiventoyouaswife,thewifeofTezcat,youtoldmeofthemaidacrosstheseas,thatLilymaidwhosetokenisstillsetuponyourfinger。
ButIlivedthroughitandIlovedyouthebetterforyourhonesty,andthenyouknowtherest。
IwonyoubecauseIwasbraveandlayatyoursideuponthestoneofsacrifice,whereyoukissedmeandtoldmethatyoulovedme。
Butyouneverlovedme,nottruly,allthewhileyouwerethinkingoftheLilymaid。
Iknewitthen,asIknowitnow,thoughItriedtodeceivemyself。
Iwasbeautifulinthosedaysandthisissomethingwithaman。
Iwasfaithfulandthatismore,andonceortwiceyouthoughtthatyoulovedme。
NowIwishthatthoseTeuleshadcomeanhourlater,andwehaddiedtogetherthereuponthestone,thatisIwishitformyownsake,notforyours。
Thenweescapedandthegreatstrugglecame。
ItoldyouthenthatI
understooditall。
Youhadkissedmeonthestoneofsacrifice,butinthatmomentyouwereasonedead;whenyoucamebacktolife,itwasotherwise。
Butfortunetookthegameoutofyourhandsandyoumarriedme,andsworeanoathtome,andthisoathyouhavekeptfaithfully。
Youmarriedmebutyoudidnotknowwhomyoumarried;youthoughtmebeautiful,andsweet,andtrue,andallthesethingsIwas,butyoudidnotunderstandthatIwasfarapartfromyou,thatIwasstillasavageasmyforefathershadbeen。
YouthoughtthatIhadlearnedyourways,perchanceevenyouthoughtthatIreverencedyourGod,asforyoursakeIhavestriventodo,butallthewhileIhavefollowedthewaysofmyownpeopleandIcouldnotquiteforgetmyowngods,orattheleasttheywouldnotsufferme,theirservant,toescapethem。
ForyearsandyearsIputthemfromme,butatlasttheywereavengedandmyheartmasteredme,orrathertheymasteredme,forIknewnothingofwhatIdidsomefewnightssince,whenIcelebratedthesacrificetoHuitzelandyousawmeattheancientrites。
’AlltheseyearsyouhadbeentruetomeandIhadborneyouchildrenwhomyouloved;butyoulovedthemfortheirownsake,notformine,indeed,atheartyouhatedtheIndianbloodthatwasmixedintheirveinswithyours。
Mealsoyoulovedinacertainfashionandthishalfloveofyoursdrovemewellnighmad;suchasitwas,itdiedwhenyousawmedistraughtandcelebratingtheritesofmyforefathersontheteocalliyonder,andyouknewmeforwhatIam,asavage。
Andnowthechildrenwholinkedustogetheraredead——onebyonetheydiedinthiswayandinthat,forthecursewhichfollowsmyblooddescendeduponthem——andyourloveformeisdeadwiththem。
Ialoneremainalive,amonumentofpastdays,andIdiealso。
’Nay,besilent;listentome,formytimeisshort。
Whenyoubademecallyou“husband“nolonger,thenIknewthatitwasfinished。
Iobeyyou,Iputyoufromme,youarenomoremyhusband,andsoonIshallceasetobeyourwife;still,Teule,Iprayyoulistentome。
Nowitseemstoyouinyoursorrow,thatyourdaysaredoneandthatthereisnohappinessleftforyou。
Thisisnotso。
Youarestillbutamaninthebeginningofmiddleage,andyouareyetstrong。
Youwillescapefromthisruinedland,andwhenyoushakethedustofitoffyourfeetitscurseshallfallfromyou;youwillreturntoyourownplace,andthereyouwillfindonewhohasawaitedyourcomingformanyyears。
Therethesavagewomanwhomyoumatedwith,theprincessofafallenhouse,willbecomebutafantasticmemorytoyou,andallthesestrangeeventfulyearswillbeasamidnightdream。
Onlyyourloveforthedeadchildrenwillalwaysremain,theseyoumustalwayslovebydayandbynight,andthedesireofthem,thatdesireforthedeadthanwhichthereisnothingmoreterrible,shallfollowyoutoyourgrave,andIamgladthatitshouldbeso,forIwastheirmotherandsomethoughtofmemustgowiththem。
ThisalonetheLilymaidhaslefttome,andthereonlyIshallprevailagainsther,for,Teule,nochildofhersshalllivetorobyourheartofthememoryofthoseIgaveyou。
’Oh!Ihavewatchedyoubydayandbynight:Ihaveseenthelonginginyoureyesforafacewhichyouhavelostandforthelandofyouryouth。
Behappy,youshallgainboth,forthestruggleisendedandtheLilymaidhasbeentoostrongforme。
I
growweakandIhavelittlemoretosay。
Wepart,andperhapsforever,forwhatistherebetweenussavethesoulsofthosedeadsonsofours?
Sinceyoudesiremenomore,thatImaymakeourseveranceperfect,nowinthehourofmydeathIrenounceyourgodsandIseekmyown,thoughIthinkthatIloveyoursandhatethoseofmypeople。
Isthereanycommunionbetweenthem?
Wepart,andperchanceforever,yetIprayofyoutothinkofmekindly,forI
havelovedyouandIloveyou;Iwasthemotherofyourchildren,whombeingChristian,youwillmeetagain。
Iloveyounowandforalways。
Iamgladtohavelivedbecauseyoukissedmeonthestoneofsacrifice,andafterwardsIboreyousons。
Theyareyoursandnotmine;itseemstomenowthatIonlycaredforthembecausetheywereyours,andtheylovedyouandnotme。
Takethem——taketheirspiritsasyouhavetakeneverything。
Yousworethatdeathaloneshouldseverus,andyouhavekeptyouroathintheletterandinthethought。
ButnowIgototheHousesoftheSuntoseekmyownpeople,andtoyou,Teule,withwhomIhavelivedmanyyearsandseenmuchsorrow,butwhomIwillnolongercallhusband,sinceyouforbademesotodo,Isay,makenomockofmetotheLilymaid。
Speakofmetoheraslittleasyoumay——behappyand——
farewell!’
Nowasshespokeevermorefaintly,andIlistenedbewildered,thelightofdawngrewslowlyinthechamber。
ItgatheredonthewhiteshapeofOtomieseatedinachairhardbythebed,andIsawthatherarmshungdownandthatherheadwasrestingonthebackofthechair。
NowIsprangupandpeeredintoherface。
Itwaswhiteandcold,andIcouldfeelnobreathuponherlips。
Iseizedherhand,thatalsowascold。
Ispokeintoherear,Ikissedherbrow,butshedidnotmovenoranswer。
Thelightgrewquickly,andnowIsawall。
Otomiewasdead,andbyherownact。
Thiswasthemannerofherdeath。
ShehaddrunkofapoisonofwhichtheIndianshavethesecret,apoisonthatworksslowlyandwithoutpain,leavingtheminduncloudedtotheend。
Itwaswhileherlifewasfadingfromherthatshehadspokentomethussadlyandbitterly。
Isatuponthebedandgazedather。
Ididnotweep,formytearsweredone,andasIhavesaid,whateverImightfeelnothingcouldbreakmycalmanymore。
AndasIgazedagreattendernessandsorrowtookholdofme,andIlovedOtomiebetternowthatshewasdeadbeforemethaneverIhaddoneinherlifedays,andthisissayingmuch。
Irememberedherinthegloryofheryouthasshewasinthecourtofherroyalfather,Irememberedthelookwhichshehadgivenmewhenshesteppedtomysideuponthestoneofsacrifice,andthatotherlookwhenshedefiedCuitlahuatheemperor,whowouldhaveslainme。
OncemoreIseemedtohearhercryofbittersorrowassheuncoveredthebodyofthedeadbabeourfirstborn,andtoseeherswordinhandstandingovertheTlascalan。
ManythingscamebacktomeinthatsadhourofdawnwhileI
watchedbythecorpseofOtomie。
Therewastruthinherwords,I
hadneverforgottenmyfirstloveandoftenIdesiredtoseeherface。
ButitwasnottruetosaythatIhadnoloveforOtomie。
第65章