Onemorninghepullsoffhisdiamondring,andwritesupon
theglassofthesashinmychamberthisline——
’YouIlove,andyoualone。’
Ireadit,andaskedhimtolendmehisring,withwhichIwrote
underit,thus——
’Andsoinlovesayseveryone。’
Hetakeshisringagain,andwritesanotherlinethus——
’Virtuealoneisanestate。’
Iborroweditagain,andIwroteunderit——
’Butmoney’svirtue,goldisfate。’
Hecolouredasredasfiretoseemeturnsoquickuponhim,
andinakindofaragetoldmehewouldconquerme,and
writesagainthus——
’Iscornyourgold,andyetIlove。’
Iventuredalluponthelastcastofpoetry,asyou’llsee,forI
wroteboldlyunderhislast——
’I’mpoor:
let’sseehowkindyou’llprove。’
Thiswasasadtruthtome;whetherhebelievedmeorno,I
couldnottell;Isupposedthenthathedidnot。
However,he
flewtome,tookmeinhisarms,and,kissingmeveryeagerly,
andwiththegreatestpassionimaginable,heheldmefasttill
hecalledforapenandink,andthentoldmehecouldnotwait
thetediouswritingontheglass,but,pullingoutapieceof
paper,hebeganandwroteagain——
’Bemine,withallyourpoverty。’
Itookhispen,andfollowedhimimmediately,thus——
’YetsecretlyyouhopeIlie。’
Hetoldmethatwasunkind,becauseitwasnotjust,andthat
Iputhimuponcontradictingme,whichdidnotconsistwith
goodmanners,anymorethanwithhisaffection;andtherefore,
sinceIhadinsensiblydrawnhimintothispoeticalscribble,he
beggedIwouldnotobligehimtobreakitoff;sohewrites
again——
’Letlovealonebeourdebate。’
Iwroteagain——
’Shelovesenoughthatdoesnothate。’
Thishetookforafavour,andsolaiddownthecudgels,that
istosay,thepen;Isay,hetookifforafavour,andamighty
oneitwas,ifhehadknownall。
However,hetookitasImeant
it,thatis,tolethimthinkIwasinclinedtogoonwithhim,as
indeedIhadallthereasonintheworldtodo,forhewasthe
best-humoured,merrysortofafellowthatIevermetwith,
andIoftenreflectedonmyselfhowdoublycriminalitwasto
deceivesuchaman;butthatnecessity,whichpressedmeto
asettlementsuitabletomycondition,wasmyauthorityforit;
andcertainlyhisaffectiontome,andthegoodnessofhistemper,
howevertheymightargueagainstusinghimill,yettheystrongly
arguedtomethathewouldbettertakethedisappointment
thansomefiery-temperedwretch,whomighthavenothingto
recommendhimbutthosepassionswhichwouldserveonlyto
makeawomanmiserableallherdays。
Besides,thoughIjestedwithhimashesupposeditso
oftenaboutmypoverty,yet,whenhefoundittobetrue,he
hadforeclosedallmannerofobjection,seeing,whetherhe
wasinjestorinearnest,hehaddeclaredhetookmewithout
anyregardtomyportion,and,whetherIwasinjestorin
earnest,Ihaddeclaredmyselftobeverypoor;sothat,ina
word,Ihadhimfastbothways;andthoughhemightsay
afterwardshewascheated,yethecouldneversaythatIhad
cheatedhim。
Hepursuedmecloseafterthis,andasIsawtherewasnoneed
tofearlosinghim,Iplayedtheindifferentpartwithhimlonger
thanprudencemightotherwisehavedictatedtome。
ButI
consideredhowmuchthiscautionandindifferencewouldgive
metheadvantageoverhim,whenIshouldcometobeunder
thenecessityofowningmyowncircumstancestohim;andI
manageditthemorewarily,becauseIfoundheinferredfrom
thence,asindeedheoughttodo,thatIeitherhadthemore
moneyorthemorejudgment,andwouldnotventureatall。
Itookthefreedomoneday,afterwehadtalkedprettyclose
tothesubject,totellhimthatitwastrueIhadreceivedthe
complimentofaloverfromhim,namely,thathewouldtake
mewithoutinquiringintomyfortune,andIwouldmakehim
asuitablereturninthis,viz。thatIwouldmakeaslittleinquiry
intohisasconsistedwithreason,butIhopedhewouldallow
metoaskafewquestions,whichhewouldanswerornotas
hethoughtfit;andthatIwouldnotbeoffendedifhedidnot
answermeatall;oneofthesequestionsrelatedtoourmanner
ofliving,andtheplacewhere,becauseIhadheardhehada
greatplantationinVirginia,andthathehadtalkedofgoing
tolivethere,andItoldhimIdidnotcaretobetransported。
Hebeganfromthisdiscoursetoletmevoluntarilyintoall
hisaffairs,andtotellmeinafrank,openwayallhis
circumstances,bywhichIfoundhewasverywelltopassin
theworld;butthatgreatpartofhisestateconsistedofthree
plantations,whichhehadinVirginia,whichbroughthimina
verygoodincome,generallyspeaking,tothetuneof#300,a
year,butthatifhewastoliveuponthem,wouldbringhimin
fourtimesasmuch。
’Verywell,’thoughtI;’youshallcarry
methitherassoonasyouplease,thoughIwon’ttellyouso
beforehand。’
Ijestedwithhimextremelyaboutthefigurehewouldmake
inVirginia;butIfoundhewoulddoanythingIdesired,though
hedidnotseemgladtohavemeundervaluehisplantations,
soIturnedmytale。
ItoldhimIhadgoodreasonnottogo
theretolive,becauseifhisplantationswereworthsomuch
there,Ihadnotafortunesuitabletoagentlemanof#1200a
year,ashesaidhisestatewouldbe。
Herepliedgenerously,hedidnotaskwhatmyfortunewas;
hehadtoldmefromthebeginninghewouldnot,andhewould
beasgoodashisword;butwhateveritwas,heassuredmehe
wouldneverdesiremetogotoVirginiawithhim,orgothither
himselfwithoutme,unlessIwasperfectlywilling,andmade
itmychoice。
Allthis,youmaybesure,wasasIwished,andindeednothing
couldhavehappenedmoreperfectlyagreeable。
Icarriediton
asfarasthiswithasortofindifferencythatheoftenwondered
at,morethanatfirst,butwhichwastheonlysupportofhis
courtship;andImentionittherathertointimateagaintothe
ladiesthatnothingbutwantofcourageforsuchanindifferency
makesoursexsocheap,andpreparesthemtobeill-usedas
theyare;wouldtheyventurethelossofapretendingfopnow
andthen,whocarriesithighuponthepointofhisownmerit,
theywouldcertainlybelessslighted,andcourtedmore。
Had
Idiscoveredreallyandtrulywhatmygreatfortunewas,and
thatinallIhadnotfull#500whenheexpected#1500,yetI
hadhookedhimsofast,andplayedhimsolong,thatIwas
satisfiedhewouldhavehadmeinmyworstcircumstances;
andindeeditwaslessasurprisetohimwhenhelearnedthe
truththanitwouldhavebeen,becausehavingnottheleast
blametolayonme,whohadcarrieditwithanairofindifference
tothelast,hewouldnotsayoneword,exceptthatindeedhe
thoughtithadbeenmore,butthatifithadbeenlesshedid
notrepenthisbargain;onlythatheshouldnotbeableto
maintainmesowellasheintended。
Inshort,weweremarried,andveryhappilymarriedonmy
side,Iassureyou,astotheman;forhewasthebest-humoured
manthateverywomanhad,buthiscircumstanceswerenotso
goodasIimagined,as,ontheotherhand,hehadnotbettered
himselfbymarryingsomuchasheexpected。
Whenweweremarried,Iwasshrewdlyputtoittobringhim
thatlittlestockIhad,andtolethimseeitwasnomore;but
therewasanecessityforit,soItookmyopportunityoneday
whenwewerealone,toenterintoashortdialoguewithhim
aboutit。
’Mydear,’saidI,’wehavebeenmarriedafortnight;
isitnottimetoletyouknowwhetheryouhavegotawife
withsomethingorwithnothing?’
’Yourowntimeforthat,
mydear,’sayshe;’IamsatisfiedthatIhavegotthewifeI
love;Ihavenottroubledyoumuch,’sayshe,’withmyinquiry
afterit。’
’That’strue,’saysI,’butIhaveagreatdifficultyuponme
aboutit,whichIscarceknowhowtomanage。’
’What’sthat,mdear?’sayshe。
’Why,’saysI,’’tisalittleharduponme,and’tisharderupon
you。
IamtoldthatCaptain——’meaningmyfriend’shusband
’hastoldyouIhadagreatdealmoremoneythanIever
pretendedtohave,andIamsureIneveremployedhimtodoso。’
’Well,’sayshe,’Captain——mayhavetoldmeso,butwhat
then?
Ifyouhavenotsomuch,thatmaylieathisdoor,but
younevertoldmewhatyouhad,soIhavenoreasontoblame
youifyouhavenothingatall。’
’That’sissojust,’saidI,’andsogenerous,thatitmakesmy
havingbutalittleadoubleafflictiontome。’
’Thelessyouhave,mydear,’sayshe,’theworseforusboth;
butIhopeyourafflictionyouspeakofisnotcausedforfear
Ishouldbeunkindtoyou,forwantofaportion。
No,no,if
youhavenothing,tellmeplainly,andatonce;Imayperhaps
tellthecaptainhehascheatedme,butIcanneversayyou
havecheatedme,fordidyounotgiveitunderyourhandthat
youwerepoor?
andsoIoughttoexpectyoutobe。’
’Well,’saidI,’mydear,IamgladIhavenotbeenconcerned
indeceivingyoubeforemarriage。
IfIdeceiveyousince,’tis
ne’ertheworse;thatIampooristootrue,butnotsopooras
tohavenothingneither’;soIpulledoutsomebankbills,and
gavehimabout#160。
’There’ssomething,mydear,’saidI,
’andnotquiteallneither。’
Ihadbroughthimsoneartoexpectingnothing,bywhatIhad
saidbefore,thatthemoney,thoughthesumwassmallinitself,
wasdoublywelcometohim;heowneditwasmorethanhe
lookedfor,andthathedidnotquestionbymydiscourseto
him,butthatmyfineclothes,goldwatch,andadiamondring
ortwo,hadbeenallmyfortune。
Ilethimpleasehimselfwiththat#160twoorthreedays,and
then,havingbeenabroadthatday,andasifIhad
beentofetch
第17章