byMarkTwain
CONTENTS：
WHATPAULBOURGETTHINKSOFUS
ALITTLENOTETOM。PAULBOURGET
WHATPAULBOURGETTHINKSOFUS
HereportstheAmericanjokecorrectly。InBostontheyask，Howmuchdoesheknow？inNewYork，Howmuchisheworth？inPhiladelphia，Whowerehisparents？Andwhenanalienobserverturnshistelescopeuponus——advertisedlyinourownspecialinterest——anaturalapprehensionmovesustoask，Whatisthediameterofhisreflector？
ItakeagreatinterestinM。Bourget’schapters，forIknowbythenewspapersthatthereareseveralAmericanswhoareexpectingtogetawholeeducationoutofthem；severalwhoforesaw，andalsoforetold，thatourlongnightwasover，andalightalmostdivineabouttobreakupontheland。
"Hisutterancesconcerningusareboundtobeweightyandwelltimed。"
"Hegivesusanobject—lessonwhichshouldbethoughtfullyandprofitablystudied。"
Thesewell—consideredandimportantverdictswereofanaturetorestorepublicconfidence，whichhadbeendisquietedbyquestioningsastowhethersoyoungateacherwouldbequalifiedtotakesolargeaclassas70，000，000，distributedoversoextensiveaschoolhouseasAmerica，andpullitthroughwithoutassistance。
Iwasevendisquietedmyself，althoughIamofacold，calmtemperament，andnoteasilydisturbed。Ifearedformycountry。AndIwasnotwhollytranquilizedbytheverdictsrenderedasabove。Itseemedtomethattherewasstillroomfordoubt。Infact，inlookingthegroundoverI
becamemoredisturbedthanIwasbefore。Manyworryingquestionscameupinmymind。Twowereprominent。Wherehadtheteachergottenhisequipment？Whatwashismethod？
HehadgottenhisequipmentinFrance。
Thenastohismethod！IsawbyhisownintimationsthathewasanObserver，andhadaSystemthatusedbynaturalistsandotherscientists。
Thenaturalistcollectsmanybugsandreptilesandbutterfliesandstudiestheirwaysalongtimepatiently。Bythismeansheispresentlyabletogroupthesecreaturesintofamiliesandsubdivisionsoffamiliesbyniceshadingsofdifferencesobservableintheircharacters。Thenhelabelsallthoseshadedbugsandthingswithnicelydescriptivegroupnames，andisnowhappy，forhisgreatworkiscompleted，andasaresultheintimatelyknowseverybugandshadeofabugthere，insideandout。
Itmaybetrue，butapersonwhowasnotanaturalistwouldfeelsaferaboutitifhehadtheopinionofthebug。IthinkitisapleasantSystem，butsubjecttoerror。
TheObserverofPeopleshastobeaClassifier，aGrouper，aDeducer，aGeneralizer，aPsychologizer；and，firstandlast，aThinker。Hehastobeallthese，andwhenheisathome，observinghisownfolk，heisoftenabletoprovecompetency。Buthistoryhasshownthatwhenheisabroadobservingunfamiliarpeoplesthechancesareheavilyagainsthim。Heisthenanaturalistobservingabug，withnomorethananaturalist’schanceofbeingabletotellthebuganythingnewaboutitself，andnomorethananaturalist’schanceofbeingabletoteachitanynewwayswhichitwillprefertoitsown。
Toreturntothatfirstquestion。M。Bourget，asteacher，wouldsimplybeFranceteachingAmerica。Itseemedtomethattheoutlookwasdark——
almostEgyptian，infact。Whatwouldthenewteacher，representingFrance，teachus？Railroading？No。Franceknowsnothingvaluableaboutrailroading。Steamshipping？No。Francehasnosuperioritiesoverusinthatmatter。Steamboating？No。FrenchsteamboatingisstillofFulton’sdate——1809。Postalservice？No。Franceisabacknumberthere。Telegraphy？No，wetaughtherthatourselves。Journalism？No。
Magazining？No，thatisourownspecialty。Government？No；Liberty，Equality，Fraternity，Nobility，Democracy，Adulterythesystemistoovariegatedforourclimate。Religion？No，notvariegatedenoughforourclimate。Morals？No，wecannotrobthepoortoenrichourselves。
Novel—writing？No。M。Bourgetandtheothersknowonlyoneplan，andwhenthatisexpurgatedthereisnothingleftofthebook。
IwishIcouldthinkwhatheisgoingtoteachus。CanitbeDeportment？
ButheexperimentedinthatatNewportandfailedtogivesatisfaction，excepttoafew。Thosefewarepleased。Theyareenjoyingtheirjoyaswellastheycan。Theyconfesstheirhappinesstotheinterviewer。Theyfeelprettystriped，buttheyrememberwithreverentrecognitionthattheyhadsugarbetweenthecuts。True，sugarwithsandinit，butsugar。
Andtrue，theyhadsometroubletotellwhichwassugarandwhichwassand，becausethesugaritselflookedjustlikethesand，andalsohadagravellytaste；still，theyknewthatthesugarwasthere，andwouldhavebeenverygoodsugarindeedifithadbeenscreened。Yes，theyarepleased；notnoisilyso，butpleased；invaded，orstreaked，asonemaysay，withlittlerecurrentshiversofjoy——subduedjoy，sotospeak，nottheoverdonekind。Andtheycommunetogether，these，andmassageeachotherwithcomfortingsayings，inasweetspiritofresignationandthankfulness，mixingtheseelementsinthesameproportionsasthesugarandthesand，asamemorial，andsaying，theonetotheother，andtotheinterviewer："Itwassevere——yes，itwasbitterlysevere；butoh，howtrueitwas；anditwilldoussomuchgood！"
Ifitisn’tDeportment，whatisleft？ItwasatthispointthatIseemedtogetontherighttrackatlast。M。Bourgetwouldteachustoknowourselves；thatwasit：hewouldrevealustoourselves。Thatwouldbeaneducation。Hewouldexplainustoourselves。Thenweshouldunderstandourselves；andafterthatbeabletogoonmoreintelligently。
Itseemedadoubtfulscheme。Hecouldexplainustohimself——thatwouldbeeasy。Thatwouldbethesameasthenaturalistexplainingthebugtohimself。Buttoexplainthebugtothebug——thatisquiteadifferentmatter。Thebugmaynotknowhimselfperfectly，butheknowshimselfbetterthanthenaturalistcanknowhim，atanyrate。
Aforeignercanphotographtheexteriorsofanation，butIthinkthatthatisasfarashecanget。Ithinkthatnoforeignercanreportitsinterior——itssoul，itslife，itsspeech，itsthought。Ithinkthataknowledgeofthesethingsisacquirableinonlyoneway；nottwoorfourorsix——absorption；yearsandyearsofunconsciousabsorption；yearsandyearsofintercoursewiththelifeconcerned；oflivingit，indeed；
sharingpersonallyinitsshamesandprides，itsjoysandgriefs，itslovesandhates，itsprosperitiesandreverses，itsshowsandshabbinesses，itsdeeppatriotisms，itswhirlwindsofpoliticalpassion，itsadorations——offlag，andheroicdead，andthegloryofthenationalname。Observation？Ofwhatrealvalueisit？Onelearnspeoplesthroughtheheart，nottheeyesortheintellect。
Thereisonlyoneexpertwhoisqualifiedtoexaminethesoulsandthelifeofapeopleandmakeavaluablereport——thenativenovelist。Thisexpertissorarethatthemostpopulouscountrycanneverhavefifteenconspicuouslyandconfessedlycompetentonesinstockatonetime。Thisnativespecialistisnotqualifiedtobeginworkuntilhehasbeenabsorbingduringtwenty—fiveyears。Howmuchofhiscompetencyisderivedfromconscious"observation"？Theamountissoslightthatitcountsfornexttonothingintheequipment。Almostthewholecapitalofthenovelististheslowaccumulationofunconsciousobservation——
absorption。Thenativeexpert’sintentionalobservationofmanners，speech，character，andwaysoflifecanhavevalue，forthenativeknowswhattheymeanwithouthavingtocipheroutthemeaning。ButIshouldbeastonishedtoseeaforeignergetattherightmeanings，catchtheelusiveshadesofthesesubtlethings。Eventhenativenovelistbecomesaforeigner，withaforeigner’slimitations，whenhestepsfromtheStatewhoselifeisfamiliartohimintoaStatewhoselifehehasnotlived。
BretHartegothisCaliforniaandhisCaliforniansbyunconsciousabsorption，andputbothofthemintohistalesalive。ButwhenhecamefromthePacifictotheAtlanticandtriedtodoNewportlifefromstudy—
consciousobservation——hisfailurewasabsolutelymonumental。Newportisadisastrousplacefortheunacclimatedobserver，evidently。
Toreturntonovel—building。Doesthenativenovelisttrytogeneralizethenation？No，helaysplainlybeforeyouthewaysandspeechandlifeofafewpeoplegroupedinacertainplace——hisownplace——andthatisonebook。Intimeheandhisbrethrenwillreporttoyouthelifeandthepeopleofthewholenation——thelifeofagroupinaNewEnglandvillage；inaNewYorkvillage；inaTexanvillage；inanOregonvillage；
invillagesinfiftyStatesandTerritories；thenthefarm—lifeinfiftyStatesandTerritories；ahundredpatchesoflifeandgroupsofpeopleinadozenwidelyseparatedcities。AndtheIndianswillbeattendedto；
andthecowboys；andthegoldandsilverminers；andthenegroes；andtheIdiotsandCongressmen；andtheIrish，theGermans，theItalians，theSwedes，theFrench，theChinamen，theGreasers；andtheCatholics，theMethodists，thePresbyterians，theCongregationalists，theBaptists，theSpiritualists，theMormons，theShakers，theQuakers，theJews，theCampbellites，theinfidels，theChristianScientists，theMind—Curists，theFaith—Curists，thetrain—robbers，theWhiteCaps，theMoonshiners。
Andwhenathousandablenovelshavebeenwritten，thereyouhavethesoulofthepeople，thelifeofthepeople，thespeechofthepeople；andnotanywhereelsecanthesebehad。Andtheshadingsofcharacter，manners，feelings，ambitions，willbeinfinite。
"’Thenatureofapeople’isalwaysofasimilarshadeinitsvicesanditsvirtues，initsfrivolitiesandinitslabor。
’Itisthisphysiognomywhichitisnecessarytodiscover’，andeverydocumentisgood，fromthehallofacasinotothechurch，fromthefoiblesofafashionablewomantothesuggestionsofarevolutionaryleader。Iamthereforequitesurethatthis’Americansoul’，theprincipalinterestandthegreatobjectofmyvoyage，appearsbehindtherecordsofNewportforthosewhochoosetoseeit。"——M。PaulBourget。
[Theitalics（’’）aremine。Itisalargecontractwhichhehasundertaken。"Records"isaprettypoorwordthere，butIthinktheuseofitisduetohastytranslation。Intheoriginalthewordis’fastes’。
IthinkM。Bourgetmeanttosuggestthatheexpectedtofindthegreat"Americansoul"secretedbehindtheostentatiousofNewport；andthathewasgoingtogetitoutandexamineit，andgeneralizeit，andpsychologizeit，andmakeitrevealtohimitshiddenvastmystery："thenatureofthepeople"oftheUnitedStatesofAmerica。Wehavebeenaccusedofbeinganationaddictedtoinventingwildschemes。Itrustthatweshallbeallowedtoretiretosecondplacenow。
Thereisn’tasinglehumancharacteristicthatcanbesafelylabeled"American。"Thereisn’tasinglehumanambition，orreligioustrend，ordriftofthought，orpeculiarityofeducation，orcodeofprinciples，orbreedoffolly，orstyleofconversation，orpreferenceforaparticularsubjectfordiscussion，orformoflegsortrunkorheadorfaceorexpressionorcomplexion，orgait，ordress，ormanners，ordisposition，oranyotherhumandetail，insideoroutside，thatcanrationallybegeneralizedas"American。"
Wheneveryouhavefoundwhatseemstobean"American"peculiarity，youhaveonlytocrossafrontierortwo，orgodownorupinthesocialscale，andyouperceivethatithasdisappeared。AndyoucancrosstheAtlanticandfinditagain。TheremaybeaNewportreligiousdrift，orsportingdrift，orconversationalstyleorcomplexion，orcutofface，butthereareentireempiresinAmerica，north，south，east，andwest，whereyoucouldnotfindyourduplicates。Itisthesamewitheverythingelsewhichonemightproposetocall"American。"M。BourgetthinkshehasfoundtheAmericanCoquette。Ifhehadreallyfoundherhewouldalsohavefound，Iamsure，thatshewasnotnew，thatsheexistsinotherlandsinthesameforms，andwiththesamefrivolousheartandthesamewaysandimpulses。IthinkthisbecauseIhaveseenourcoquette；
Ihaveseenherinlife；betterstill，Ihaveseenherinournovels，andseenhertwininforeignnovels。IwishM。Bourgethadseenours。
Hethoughthesawher。AndsoheappliedhisSystemtoher。ShewasaSpecies。Sohegatheredanumberofsamplesofwhatseemedtobeher，andputthemunderhisglass，anddividedthemintogroupswhichhecalls"types，"andlabeledtheminhisusualscientificwaywith"formulas"——
briefsharpdescriptiveflashesthatmakeapersonblink，sometimes，theyaresosuddenandvivid。Asaruletheyareprettyfar—fetched，butthatisnotanimportantmatter；theysurprise，theycompeladmiration，andI
noticebysomeofthecommentswhichhiseffortshavecalledforththattheydeceivetheunwary。Hereareafewofthecoquettevariantswhichhehasgroupedandlabeled：
THECOLLECTOR。
THEEQUILIBREE。
THEPROFESSIONALBEAUTY。
THEBLUFFER。
THEGIRL—BOY。
Ifhehadstoppedwithdescribingthesecharactersweshouldhavebeenobligedtobelievethattheyexist；thattheyexist，andthathehasseenthemandspokenwiththem。Buthedidnotstopthere；hewentfurtherandfurnishedtouslight—throwingsamplesoftheirbehavior，andalsolight—throwingsamplesoftheirspeeches。Heenteredthosethingsinhisnote—bookwithoutsuspicion，hetakesthemoutanddeliversthemtotheworldwithacandorandsimplicitywhichshowthathebelievedthemgenuine。Theythrowaltogethertoomuchlight。Theyrevealtothenativetheoriginofhisfind。Isupposeheknowshowhecametomakethatnovelandcaptivatingdiscovery，bythistime。Ifhedoesnot，anyAmericancantellhim——anyAmericantowhomhewillshowhisanecdotes。
Itwas"putup"onhim，aswesay。Itwasajest——tobeplain，itwasaseriesoffrauds。Tomyminditwasapoorsortofjest，witlessandcontemptible。Theplayersofithavetheirreward，suchasitis；theyhaveexhibitedthefactthatwhatevertheymaybetheyarenotladies。
M。Bourgetdidnotdiscoveratypeofcoquette；hemerelydiscoveredatypeofpracticaljoker。Onemaysaythetypeofpracticaljoker，forthesepeopleareexactlyalikeallovertheworld。Theirequipmentisalwaysthesame：avulgarmind，apuerilewit，acrueldispositionasarule，andalwaysthespiritoftreachery。
InhisChapterIV。M。Bourgethastwoorthreecolumnsgravelydevotedtothecollatingandexaminingandpsychologizingofthesesorrylittlefrauds。Oneisnotmovedtolaugh。Thereisnothingfunnyinthesituation；itisonlypathetic。Thestrangergavethosepeoplehisconfidence，andtheydishonorablytreatedhiminreturn。
ButonemustbeallowedtosuspectthatM。Bourgetwasalittletoblamehimself。Evenapracticaljokerhassomelittlejudgment。Hehastoexercisesomedegreeofsagacityinselectinghispreyifhewouldsavehimselffromgettingintotrouble。InmytimeIhaveseldomseensuchdaringthingsmarketedatanypriceastheseconsciencelessfolkhaveworkedoffatparonthisconfidingobserver。Itcompelstheconvictionthattherewassomethingabouthimthatbredinthosespeculatorsaquiteunusualsenseofsafety，andencouragedthemtostraintheirpowersinhisbehalf。Theyseemtohavesatisfiedthemselvesthatallhewantedwas"significant"facts，andthathewasnotaccustomedtoexaminethesourcewhencetheyproceeded。Itisplainthattherewasasortofconspiracyagainsthimalmostfromthestart——aconspiracytofreighthimupwithallthestrangeextravagancesthosepeople’sdecayedbrainscouldinvent。
Thelengthstowhichtheywentarenexttoincredible。Theytoldhimthingswhichsurelywouldhaveexcitedanyoneelse’ssuspicion，buttheydidnotexcitehis。Considerthis：
"ThereisnotinalltheUnitedStatesanentirelynudestatue。"
Ifanangelshouldcomedownandsaysuchathingaboutheaven，areasonablycautiousobserverwouldtakethatangel’snumberandinquirealittlefurtherbeforeheaddedittohiscatch。Whatdoesthepresentobserverdo？Addsit。Addsitatonce。Addsit，andlabelsitwiththisinnocentcomment：
"Thissmallfactisstrangelysignificant。"
Itdoesseemtomethatthiskindofobservingisdefective。
Hereisanothercuriositywhichsomeliberalpersonmadehimapresentof。Ishouldthinkitoughttohavedisturbedthedeepslumberofhissuspicionalittle，butitdidn’t。Itwasanotefromafog—hornforstrenuousness，itseemstome，butthedoomedvoyagerdidnotcatchit。
Ifhehadbutcaughtit，itwouldhavesavedhimfromseveraldisasters：
"IftheAmericanknowsthatyouaretravelingtotakenotes，heisinterestedinit，andatthesametimerejoicesinit，asinatribute。"
Again，thisisdefectiveobservation。Itishumantoliketobepraised；
onecanevennoticeitintheFrench。Butitisnothumantoliketoberidiculed，evenwhenitcomesintheformofa"tribute。"Ithinkalittlepsychologizingoughttohavecomeinthere。Somethinglikethis：
Adogdoesnotliketoberidiculed，aredskindoesnotliketoberidiculed，anegrodoesnotliketoberidiculed，aChinamandoesnotliketoberidiculed；letusdeducefromthesesignificantfactsthisformula：theAmerican’sgradebeinghigherthanthese，andthechain—ofargumentstretchingunbrokenallthewayuptohim，thereisroomforsuspicionthatthepersonwhosaidtheAmericanlikestoberidiculed，andregardsitasatribute，isnotacapableobserver。
Ifeelpersuadedthatinthematterofpsychologizing，aprofessionalistooapttoyieldtothefascinationsoftheloftierregionsofthatgreatart，totheneglectofitslowlierwalks。Everynowandthen，athalf—
hourintervals，M。Bourgetcollectsahatfulofairyinaccuraciesanddissolvestheminapanfulofassortedabstractions，andrunsthechargeintoamouldandturnsyououtacompactprinciplewhichwillexplainanAmericangirl，oranAmericanwoman，orwhynewpeopleyearnforoldthings，oranyotherimpossibleriddlewhichapersonwantsanswered。
Itseemstobeconcededthatthereareafewhumanpeculiaritiesthatcanbegeneralizedandlocatedhereandthereintheworldandnamedbythenameofthenationwheretheyarefound。Iwonderwhattheyare。
Perhapsoneofthemistemperament。OnespeaksofFrenchvivacityandGermangravityandEnglishstubbornness。ThereisnoAmericantemperament。Thenearestthatonecancomeatitistosaytherearetwo——thecomposedNorthernandtheimpetuousSouthern；andbotharefoundinothercountries。Morals？Purityofwomenmayfairlybecalleduniversalwithus，butthatisthecaseinsomeothercountries。Wehavenomonopolyofit；itcannotbenamedAmerican。Ithinkthatthereisbutasinglespecialtywithus，onlyonethingthatcanbecalledbythewidename"American。"Thatisthenationaldevotiontoice—water。AllGermansdrinkbeer，buttheBritishnationdrinksbeer，too；soneitherofthosepeoplesisthebeer—drinkingnation。Isupposewedostandaloneinhavingadrinkthatnobodylikesbutourselves。WhenwehavebeenamonthinEuropeweloseourcravingforit，andwefinallytellthehotelfolkthattheyneedn’tprovideitanymore。Yetwehardlytouchournativeshoreagain，winterorsummer，beforeweareeagerforit。Thereasonsforthisstateofthingshavenotbeenpsychologizedyet。Idropthehintandsaynomore。
Itismybeliefthattherearesome"national"traitsandthingsscatteredabouttheworldthataremeresuperstitions，fraudsthathavelivedsolongthattheyhavethesolidlookoffacts。OneofthemisthedogmathattheFrencharetheonlychastepeopleintheworld。EversinceIarrivedinFrancethislasttimeIhavebeenaccumulatingdoubtsaboutthat；andbeforeIleavethissunnylandagainIwillgatherinafewrandomstatisticsandpsychologizetheplausibilitiesoutofit。IfpeoplearetocomeovertoAmericaandfindfaultwithourgirlsandourwomen，andpsychologizeeverylittlethingtheydo，andtrytoteachthemhowtobehave，andhowtocultivatethemselvesuptowhereonecannottellthemfromtheFrenchmodel，Iintendtofindoutwhetherthosemissionariesarequalifiedornot。Anationoughtalwaystoexamineintothisdetailbeforeengagingtheteacherforgood。ThislastonehasletfallaremarkwhichrenewedthosedoubtsofminewhenIreadit：
"InourhighParisianexistence，forinstance，wefindappliedtoartsandluxury，andtodebauchery，allthepowersandalltheweaknessesoftheFrenchsoul。"
Yousee，itamountstoatradewiththeFrenchsoul；aprofession；
ascience；theseriousbusinessoflife，sotospeak，inourhighParisianexistence。Idonotquitelikethelookofit。Iquestionifitcanbetaughtwithprofitinourcountry，except，ofcourse，tothosepathetic，neglectedmindsthatarewaitingtheresoyearninglyfortheeducationwhichM。BourgetisgoingtofurnishthemfromtheserenesummitsofourhighParisianlife。
Ispokeamomentagooftheexistenceofsomesuperstitionsthathavebeenparadingtheworldasfactsthislongtime。Forinstance，considertheDollar。Theworldseemstothinkthattheloveofmoneyis"American"；andthatthemaddesiretogetsuddenlyrichis"American。"
Ibelievethatbothofthesethingsaremerelyandbroadlyhuman，notAmericanmonopoliesatall。Theloveofmoneyisnaturaltoallnations，formoneyisagoodandstrongfriend。Ithinkthatthislovehasexistedeverywhere，eversincetheBiblecalledittherootofallevil。
IthinkthatthereasonwhyweAmericansseemtobesoaddictedtotryingtogetrichsuddenlyismerelybecausetheopportunitytomakepromisingeffortsinthatdirectionhasoffereditselftouswithafrequencyoutofallproportiontotheEuropeanexperience。Foreightyyearsthisopportunityhasbeenofferingitselfinonenewtownorregionafteranotherstraightwestward，stepbystep，allthewayfromtheAtlanticcoasttothePacific。Whenamechaniccouldbuytentownlotsontolerablylongcreditfortenmonths’savingsoutofhiswages，andreasonablyexpecttoselltheminacoupleofyearsfortentimeswhathegaveforthem，itwashumanforhimtotrytheventure，andhediditnomatterwhathisnationalitywas。HewouldhavedoneitinEuropeorChinaifhehadhadthesamechance。
Intheflushtimesinthesilverregionsacookoranyotherhumbleworkerstoodaverygoodchancetogetrichoutofatrifleofmoneyriskedinastockdeal；andthatpersonpromptlytookthatrisk，nomatterwhathisorhernationalitymightbe。Iwasthere，andsawit。
ButtheseopportunitieshavenotbeenplentyinourSouthernStates；sothereyouhaveaprodigiousregionwheretherushforsuddenwealthisalmostanunknownthing——andhasbeen，fromthebeginning。
EuropehasofferedfewopportunitiesforpoorTom，Dick，andHarry；butwhenshehasofferedone，therehasbeennonoticeabledifferencebetweenEuropeaneagernessandAmerican。EnglandsawthisinthewilddaysoftheRailroadKing；Francesawitin1720——timeofLawandtheMississippiBubble。IamsureIhaveneverseeninthegoldandsilverminesanymadness，fury，frenzytogetsuddenlyrichwhichwasevenremotelycomparabletothatwhichragedinFranceintheBubbleday。IfIhadacyclopaediahereIcouldturntothatmemorablecase，andsatisfynearlyanybodythatthehungerforthesuddendollarisnomore"American"thanitisFrench。AndifIcouldfurnishanAmericanopportunitytostaidGermany，IthinkIcouldwakeheruplikeahouseafire。
ButImustreturntotheGeneralizations，Psychologizings，Deductions。
WhenM。Bourgetisexploitingthesearts，itisthenthatheispeculiarlyandparticularlyhimself。Hiswaysarewhollyoriginalwhenheencountersatraitoracustomwhichisnewtohim。Anotherpersonwouldmerelyexaminethefind，verifyit，estimateitsvalue，andletitgo；butthatisnotsufficientforM。Bourget：healwayswantstoknowwhythatthingexists，hewantstoknowhowitcametohappen；andhewillnotletgoofituntilhehasfoundout。Andineveryinstancehewillfindthatreasonwherenoonebuthimselfwouldhavethoughtoflookingforit。Hedoesnotseemtocareforareasonthatisnotpicturesquelylocated；onemightalmostsaypicturesquelyandimpossiblylocated。
HefoundoutthatinAmericamendonottrytohuntdownyoungmarriedwomen。Atonce，asusual，hewantedtoknowwhy。Anyonecouldhavetoldhim。Hecouldhavedivineditbythelightsthrownbythenovelsofthecountry。Butno，hepreferredtofindoutforhimself。Hehasatrustfulnessasregardsmenandfactswhichisfineandunusual；heisnotparticularaboutthesourceofafact，heisnotparticularaboutthecharacterandstandingofthefactitself；butwhenitcomestopoundingoutthereasonfortheexistenceofthefact，hewilltrustnoonebuthimself。
Inthepresentinstanceherewashisfact：Americanyoungmarriedwomenarenotpursuedbythecorruptor；andherewasthequestion：Whatisitthatprotectsher？
Itseemsquiteunlikelythatthatproblemcouldhaveoffereddifficultiestoanybutatrainedphilosopher。NearlyanypersonwouldhavesaidtoM。Bourget："Oh，thatisverysimple。ItisveryseldominAmericathatamarriageismadeonacommercialbasis；ourmarriages，fromthebeginning，havebeenmadeforlove；andwhereloveisthereisnoroomforthecorruptor。"
Now，itisinterestingtoseetheformidablewayinwhichM。Bourgetwentatthatpoor，humblelittlething。Hemoveduponitincolumn——threecolumns——andwithartillery。
"Tworeasonsofaverydifferentkindexplain"——thatfact。
AndnowthatIhavegotsofar，Iamalmostafraidtosaywhathistworeasonsare，lestIbechargedwithinventingthem。ButIwillnotretreatnow；Iwillcondensethemandprintthem，givingmywordthatI
amhonestandnottryingtodeceiveanyone。
1。YoungmarriedwomenareprotectedfromtheapproachesoftheseducerinNewEnglandandvicinitybythedilutedremainsofaprudencecreatedbyaPuritanlawoftwohundredyearsago，whichforawhilepunishedadulterywithdeath。
2。AndyoungmarriedwomenoftheotherfortyorfiftyStatesareprotectedbylawswhichaffordextraordinaryfacilitiesfordivorce。
IfIhavenotlostmymindIhaveaccuratelyconveyedthosetwoVesuvianirruptionsofphilosophy。ButthereadercanconsultChapterIV。of’Outre—Mer’，anddecideforhimself。LetusexaminethisparalyzingDeductionorExplanationbythelightofafewsanefacts。
1。Thisuniversalityof"protection"hasexistedinourcountryfromthebeginning；beforethedeathpenaltyexistedinNewEngland，andduringallthegenerationsthathavedraggedbysinceitwasannulled。
2。Extraordinaryfacilitiesfordivorceareofsuchrecentcreationthatanymiddle—agedAmericancanrememberatimewhensuchthingshadnotyetbeenthoughtof。
Letussupposethatthefirsteasydivorcelawwentintoeffectfortyyearsago，andgotnoisedaroundandfairlystartedinbusinessthirty—
fiveyearsago，whenwehad，say，25，000，000ofwhitepopulation。Letussupposethatamong5，000，000ofthemtheyoungmarriedwomenwere"protected"bythesurvivingshudderofthatancientPuritanscare——whatisM。Bourgetgoingtodoaboutthosewholivedamongthe20，000，000？
Theywerecleanintheirmorals，theywerepure，yettherewasnoeasydivorcelawtoprotectthem。
AwhileagoIsaidthatM。Bourget’smethodoftruth—seeking——huntingforitinout—of—the—wayplaces——wasnew；butthatwasanerror。IrememberthatwhenLeverrierdiscoveredtheMilkyWay，heandtheotherastronomersbegantotheorizeaboutitinsubstantiallythesamefashionwhichM。BourgetemploysinhisseasoningsaboutAmericansocialfactsandtheirorigin。LeverrieradvancedthehypothesisthattheMilkyWaywascausedbygaseousprotoplasmicemanationsfromthefieldofWaterloo，which，ascendingtoanaltitudedeterminablebytheirownspecificgravity，becameluminousthroughthedevelopmentandexposure——bythenaturalprocessesofanimaldecay——ofthephosphoruscontainedinthem。
ThistheorywaswarmlycomplimentedbyPtolemy，who，however，aftermuchthoughtandresearch，decidedthathecouldnotacceptitasfinal。HisowntheorywasthattheMilkyWaywasanemigrationoflightningbugs；
andhesupportedandreinforcedthistheorembythewell—knownfactthatthelocustsdolikethatinEgypt。
GiordanoBrunoalsowasoutspokeninhispraisesofLeverrier’simportantcontributiontoastronomicalscience，andwasatfirstinclinedtoregarditasconclusive；butlater，conceivingittobeerroneous，hepronouncedagainstit，andadvancedthehypothesisthattheMilkyWaywasadetachmentorcorpsofstarswhichbecamearrestedandheldin’suspensosuspensorum’byrefractionofgravitationwhileonthemarchtojointheirseveralconstellations；apropositionforwhichhewasafterwardsburnedatthestakeinJacksonville，Illinois。
Thesewereallbrilliantandpicturesquetheories，andeachwasreceivedwithenthusiasmbythescientificworld；butwhenaNewEnglandfarmer，whowasnotathinker，butonlyaplainsortofpersonwhotriedtoaccountforlargefactsinsimpleways，cameoutwiththeopinionthattheMilkyWaywasjustcommon，ordinarystars，andwasputwhereitwasbecauseGod"wantedtohevitso，"theadmirableideafellperfectlyflat。
Asaliteraryartist，M。Bourgetisasfreshandstrikingasheisasascientificone。Hesays，"Aboveall，Idonotbelievemuchinanecdotes。"
Why？"Inhistorytheyareallfalse"——asufficientlybroadstatement——
"inliteraturealllibelous"——alsoasufficientlysweepingstatement，comingfromacriticwhonotesthatweareapeoplewhoarepeculiarlyextravagantinourlanguage——"andwhenitisamatterofsociallife，almostallbiased。"Itseemstoamounttostultification，almost。HehasbuilttwoorthreebreedsofAmericancoquettesoutofanecdotes——
mainly"biased"ones，Isuppose；and，astheyoccur"inliterature，"
furnishedbyhispen，theymustbe"alllibelous。"Ordidhemeannotinliteratureoranecdotesaboutliteratureorliterarypeople？Iamnotabletoanswerthat。Perhapstheoriginalwouldbeclearer，butIhaveonlythetranslationofthisinstallmentbyme。Ithinktheremarkhadanintention；alsothatthisintentionwasbookedforthetrip；butthateitherinthehurryoftheremark’sdepartureitgotleft，orintheconfusionofchangingcarsatthetranslator’sfrontieritgotside—
tracked。
"ButontheotherhandIbelieveinstatistics；andthoseondivorcesappeartometobemostconclusive。"Andhesetshimselfthetaskofexplaining——inacoupleofcolumns——theprocessbywhichEasy—Divorceconceived，invented，originated，developed，andperfectedanempire—
embracingconditionofsexualpurityintheStates。IN40YEARS。No，hedoesn’tstatetheinterval。Withallhispassionforstatisticsheforgottoaskhowlongittooktoproducethisgiganticmiracle。
Ihavefollowedhispleasantbutdevioustrailthroughthosecolumns，butIwasnotabletogetholdofhisargumentandfindoutwhatitwas。
Iwasnotevenabletofindoutwhereitleftoff。Itseemedtograduallydissolveandflowoffintoothermatters。Ifolloweditwithinterest，forIwasanxioustolearnhoweasy—divorceeradicatedadulteryinAmerica，butIwasdisappointed；Ihavenoideayethowitdidit。
Ionlyknowitdidn’t。Butthatisnotvaluable；Iknewitbefore。
Well，humoristhegreatthing，thesavingthing，afterall。Theminuteitcropsup，allourhardnessesyield，allourirritationsandresentmentsflitaway，andasunnyspirittakestheirplace。Andso，whenM。Bourgetsaidthatbrightthingaboutourgrandfathers，Ibrokeallup。IrememberexplodingitsAmericancountermineonce，underthatgrandhero，Napoleon。HewasonlyFirstConsulthen，andIwasConsul—
General——fortheUnitedStates，ofcourse；butwewereveryintimate，notwithstandingthedifferenceinrank，forIwaivedthat。Onedaysomethingofferedtheopening，andhesaid：
"Well，General，IsupposelifecannevergetentirelydulltoanAmerican，becausewheneverhecan’tstrikeupanyotherwaytoputinhistimehecanalwaysgetawaywithafewyearstryingtofindoutwhohisgrandfatherwas！"