首页 >出版文学> JEAN VALJEAN>第9章

第9章

  Youcanimaginewhetherthissurprisedme,whenIthoughtthatI
  hadthatsameJeanValjeanhere。Iwritetotheexaminingjudge;
  hesendsforme;Champmathieuisconductedtome——"
  [4]Anex—convict。
  "Well?"interposedM。Madeleine。
  Javertreplied,hisfaceincorruptible,andasmelancholyasever:——
  "Mr。Mayor,thetruthisthetruth。Iamsorry;butthatmanisJeanValjean。Irecognizedhimalso。"
  M。Madeleineresumedin,averylowvoice:——
  "Youaresure?"
  Javertbegantolaugh,withthatmournfullaughwhichcomesfromprofoundconviction。
  "O!Sure!"
  Hestoodtherethoughtfullyforamoment,mechanicallytakingpinchesofpowderedwoodforblottinginkfromthewoodenbowlwhichstoodonthetable,andheadded:——
  "AndevennowthatIhaveseentherealJeanValjean,IdonotseehowIcouldhavethoughtotherwise。Ibegyourpardon,Mr。Mayor。"
  Javert,asheaddressedthesegraveandsupplicatingwordstotheman,whosixweeksbeforehadhumiliatedhiminthepresenceofthewholestation—house,andbadehim"leavetheroom,"——Javert,thathaughtyman,wasunconsciouslyfullofsimplicityanddignity,——M。Madeleinemadenootherreplytohisprayerthantheabruptquestion:——
  "Andwhatdoesthismansay?"
  "Ah!Indeed,Mr。Mayor,it’sabadbusiness。IfheisJeanValjean,hehashispreviousconvictionagainsthim。Toclimbawall,tobreakabranch,topurloinapples,isamischievoustrickinachild;
  foramanitisamisdemeanor;foraconvictitisacrime。
  Robbingandhousebreaking——itisallthere。Itisnolongeraquestionofcorrectionalpolice;itisamatterfortheCourtofAssizes。
  Itisnolongeramatterofafewdaysinprison;itisthegalleysforlife。Andthen,thereistheaffairwiththelittleSavoyard,whowillreturn,Ihope。Thedeuce!thereisplentytodisputeinthematter,istherenot?Yes,foranyonebutJeanValjean。
  ButJeanValjeanisaslydog。ThatisthewayIrecognizedhim。
  Anyothermanwouldhavefeltthatthingsweregettinghotforhim;
  hewouldstruggle,hewouldcryout——thekettlesingsbeforethefire;
  hewouldnotbeJeanValjean,etcetera。Buthehasnottheappearanceofunderstanding;hesays,`IamChampmathieu,andIwon’tdepartfromthat!’Hehasanastonishedair,hepretendstobestupid;
  itisfarbetter。Oh!therogueisclever!Butitmakesnodifference。
  Theproofsarethere。Hehasbeenrecognizedbyfourpersons;
  theoldscampwillbecondemned。ThecasehasbeentakentotheAssizesatArras。Ishallgotheretogivemytestimony。Ihavebeensummoned。"
  M。Madeleinehadturnedtohisdeskagain,andtakenuphisdocket,andwasturningovertheleavestranquilly,readingandwritingbyturns,likeabusyman。HeturnedtoJavert:——
  "Thatwilldo,Javert。Intruth,allthesedetailsinterestmebutlittle。Wearewastingourtime,andwehavepressingbusinessonhand。Javert,youwillbetakeyourselfatoncetothehouseofthewomanBuseaupied,whosellsherbsatthecorneroftheRueSaint—Saulve。YouwilltellherthatshemustenterhercomplaintagainstcarterPierreChesnelong。Themanisabrute,whocamenearcrushingthiswomanandherchild。Hemustbepunished。YouwillthengotoM。Charcellay,RueMontre—de—Champigny。Hecomplainedthatthereisagutterontheadjoininghousewhichdischargesrain—wateronhispremises,andisunderminingthefoundationsofhishouse。
  Afterthat,youwillverifytheinfractionsofpoliceregulationswhichhavebeenreportedtomeintheRueGuibourg,atWidowDoris’s,andRueduGarraud—Blanc,atMadameReneeleBosse’s,andyouwillpreparedocuments。ButIamgivingyouagreatdealofwork。
  Areyounottobeabsent?DidyounottellmethatyouweregoingtoArrasonthatmatterinaweekortendays?"
  "Soonerthanthat,Mr。Mayor。"
  "Onwhatday,then?"
  "Why,IthoughtthatIhadsaidtoMonsieurleMairethatthecasewastobetriedto—morrow,andthatIamtosetoutbydiligenceto—night。"
  M。Madeleinemadeanimperceptiblemovement。
  "Andhowlongwillthecaselast?"
  "Oneday,atthemost。Thejudgmentwillbepronouncedto—morroweveningatlatest。ButIshallnotwaitforthesentence,whichiscertain;
  Ishallreturnhereassoonasmydepositionhasbeentaken。"
  "Thatiswell,"saidM。Madeleine。
  AndhedismissedJavertwithawaveofthehand。
  Javertdidnotwithdraw。
  "Excuseme,Mr。Mayor,"saidhe。
  "Whatisitnow?"demandedM。Madeleine。
  "Mr。Mayor,thereisstillsomethingofwhichImustremindyou。"
  "Whatisit?"
  "ThatImustbedismissed。"
  M。Madeleinerose。
  "Javert,youareamanofhonor,andIesteemyou。Youexaggerateyourfault。Moreover,thisisanoffencewhichconcernsme。
  Javert,youdeservepromotioninsteadofdegradation。Iwishyoutoretainyourpost。"
  JavertgazedatM。Madeleinewithhiscandideyes,inwhosedepthshisnotveryenlightenedbutpureandrigidconscienceseemedvisible,andsaidinatranquilvoice:——
  "Mr。Mayor,Icannotgrantyouthat。"
  "Irepeat,"repliedM。Madeleine,"thatthematterconcernsme。"
  ButJavert,heedinghisownthoughtonly,continued:——
  "Sofarasexaggerationisconcerned,Iamnotexaggerating。ThisisthewayIreason:Ihavesuspectedyouunjustly。Thatisnothing。
  Itisourrighttocherishsuspicion,althoughsuspiciondirectedaboveourselvesisanabuse。Butwithoutproofs,inafitofrage,withtheobjectofwreakingmyvengeance,Ihavedenouncedyouasaconvict,you,arespectableman,amayor,amagistrate!
  Thatisserious,veryserious。Ihaveinsultedauthorityinyourperson,I,anagentoftheauthorities!IfoneofmysubordinateshaddonewhatIhavedone,Ishouldhavedeclaredhimunworthyoftheservice,andhaveexpelledhim。Well?Stop,Mr。Mayor;onewordmore。
  Ihaveoftenbeensevereinthecourseofmylifetowardsothers。
  Thatisjust。Ihavedonewell。Now,ifIwerenotseveretowardsmyself,allthejusticethatIhavedonewouldbecomeinjustice。
  OughtItosparemyselfmorethanothers?No!What!Ishouldbegoodfornothingbuttochastiseothers,andnotmyself!Why,Ishouldbeablackguard!Thosewhosay,`ThatblackguardofaJavert!’
  wouldbeintheright。Mr。Mayor,Idonotdesirethatyoushouldtreatmekindly;yourkindnessrousedsufficientbadbloodinmewhenitwasdirectedtoothers。Iwantnoneofitformyself。
  Thekindnesswhichconsistsinupholdingawomanofthetownagainstacitizen,thepoliceagentagainstthemayor,themanwhoisdownagainstthemanwhoisupintheworld,iswhatIcallfalsekindness。
  Thatisthesortofkindnesswhichdisorganizessociety。GoodGod!
  itisveryeasytobekind;thedifficultyliesinbeingjust。
  Come!ifyouhadbeenwhatIthoughtyou,Ishouldnothavebeenkindtoyou,notI!Youwouldhaveseen!Mr。Mayor,ImusttreatmyselfasIwouldtreatanyotherman。WhenIhavesubduedmalefactors,whenIhaveproceededwithvigoragainstrascals,Ihaveoftensaidtomyself,`Ifyouflinch,ifIevercatchyouinfault,youmayrestatyourease!’Ihaveflinched,Ihavecaughtmyselfinafault。
  Somuchtheworse!Come,discharged,cashiered,expelled!Thatiswell。
  Ihavearms。Iwilltillthesoil;itmakesnodifferencetome。
  Mr。Mayor,thegoodoftheservicedemandsanexample。IsimplyrequirethedischargeofInspectorJavert。"
  Allthiswasutteredinaproud,humble,despairing,yetconvincedtone,whichlentindescribablegrandeurtothissingular,honestman。
  "Weshallsee,"saidM。Madeleine。
  Andheofferedhimhishand。
  Javertrecoiled,andsaidinawildvoice:——
  "Excuseme,Mr。Mayor,butthismustnotbe。Amayordoesnotofferhishandtoapolicespy。"
  Headdedbetweenhisteeth:——
  "Apolicespy,yes;fromthemomentwhenIhavemisusedthepolice。
  Iamnomorethanapolicespy。"
  Thenhebowedprofoundly,anddirectedhisstepstowardsthedoor。
  Therehewheeledround,andwitheyesstilldowncast:——
  "Mr。Mayor,"hesaid,"IshallcontinuetoserveuntilIamsuperseded。"
  Hewithdrew。M。Madeleineremainedthoughtfullylisteningtothefirm,surestep,whichdiedawayonthepavementofthecorridor。
  BOOKSEVENTH。——THECHAMPMATHIEUAFFAIR
  CHAPTERI
  SISTERSIMPLICE
  TheincidentsthereaderisabouttoperusewerenotallknownatM。surM。Butthesmallportionofthemwhichbecameknownleftsuchamemoryinthattownthataseriousgapwouldexistinthisbookifwedidnotnarratethemintheirmostminutedetails。
  Amongthesedetailsthereaderwillencountertwoorthreeimprobablecircumstances,whichwepreserveoutofrespectforthetruth。
  OntheafternoonfollowingthevisitofJavert,M。MadeleinewenttoseeFantineaccordingtohiswont。
  BeforeenteringFantine’sroom,hehadSisterSimplicesummoned。
  Thetwonunswhoperformedtheservicesofnurseintheinfirmary,Lazaristeladies,likeallsistersofcharity,borethenamesofSisterPerpetueandSisterSimplice。
  SisterPerpetuewasanordinaryvillager,asisterofcharityinacoarsestyle,whohadenteredtheserviceofGodasoneentersanyotherservice。Shewasanunasotherwomenarecooks。
  Thistypeisnotsoveryrare。Themonasticordersgladlyacceptthisheavypeasantearthenware,whichiseasilyfashionedintoaCapuchinoranUrsuline。Theserusticsareutilizedfortheroughworkofdevotion。ThetransitionfromadrovertoaCarmeliteisnotintheleastviolent;theoneturnsintotheotherwithoutmucheffort;
  thefundofignorancecommontothevillageandthecloisterisapreparationreadyathand,andplacesthebooratonceonthesamefootingasthemonk:alittlemoreamplitudeinthesmock,anditbecomesafrock。SisterPerpetuewasarobustnunfromMarinesnearPontoise,whochatteredherpatois,droned,grumbled,sugaredthepotionaccordingtothebigotryorthehypocrisyoftheinvalid,treatedherpatientsabruptly,roughly,wascrabbedwiththedying,almostflungGodintheirfaces,stonedtheirdeathagonywithprayersmumbledinarage;wasbold,honest,andruddy。
  SisterSimplicewaswhite,withawaxenpallor。BesideSisterPerpetue,shewasthetaperbesidethecandle。VincentdePaulhasdivinelytracedthefeaturesoftheSisterofCharityintheseadmirablewords,inwhichheminglesasmuchfreedomasservitude:"Theyshallhavefortheirconventonlythehouseofthesick;forcellonlyahiredroom;
  forchapelonlytheirparishchurch;forcloisteronlythestreetsofthetownandthewardsofthehospitals;forenclosureonlyobedience;
  forgratingsonlythefearofGod;forveilonlymodesty。"ThisidealwasrealizedinthelivingpersonofSisterSimplice:shehadneverbeenyoung,anditseemedasthoughshewouldnevergrowold。
  NoonecouldhavetoldSisterSimplice’sage。Shewasaperson——
  wedarenotsayawoman——whowasgentle,austere,well—bred,cold,andwhohadneverlied。Shewassogentlethatsheappearedfragile;
  butshewasmoresolidthangranite。Shetouchedtheunhappywithfingersthatwerecharminglypureandfine。Therewas,sotospeak,silenceinherspeech;shesaidjustwhatwasnecessary,andshepossessedatoneofvoicewhichwouldhaveequallyedifiedaconfessionalorenchantedadrawing—room。Thisdelicacyaccommodateditselftothesergegown,findinginthisharshcontactacontinualreminderofheavenandofGod。Letusemphasizeonedetail。
  Nevertohavelied,nevertohavesaid,foranyinterestwhatever,eveninindifference,anysinglethingwhichwasnotthetruth,thesacredtruth,wasSisterSimplice’sdistinctivetrait;
  itwastheaccentofhervirtue。Shewasalmostrenownedinthecongregationforthisimperturbableveracity。TheAbbeSicardspeaksofSisterSimpliceinalettertothedeaf—muteMassieu。
  Howeverpureandsincerewemaybe,weallbearuponourcandorthecrackofthelittle,innocentlie。Shedidnot。Littlelie,innocentlie——doessuchathingexist?Tolieistheabsoluteformofevil。Toliealittleisnotpossible:hewholies,liesthewholelie。Tolieistheveryfaceofthedemon。Satanhastwonames;heiscalledSatanandLying。Thatiswhatshethought;
  andasshethought,soshedid。Theresultwasthewhitenesswhichwehavementioned——awhitenesswhichcoveredevenherlipsandhereyeswithradiance。Hersmilewaswhite,herglancewaswhite。
  Therewasnotasinglespider’sweb,notagrainofdust,ontheglasswindowofthatconscience。OnenteringtheorderofSaintVincentdePaul,shehadtakenthenameofSimplicebyspecialchoice。
  SimpliceofSicily,asweknow,isthesaintwhopreferredtoallowbothherbreaststobetornoffratherthantosaythatshehadbeenbornatSegestawhenshehadbeenbornatSyracuse——
  aliewhichwouldhavesavedher。Thispatronsaintsuitedthissoul。
  SisterSimplice,onherentranceintotheorder,hadhadtwofaultswhichshehadgraduallycorrected:shehadatastefordainties,andshelikedtoreceiveletters。SheneverreadanythingbutabookofprayersprintedinLatin,incoarsetype。
  ShedidnotunderstandLatin,butsheunderstoodthebook。
  ThispiouswomanhadconceivedanaffectionforFantine,probablyfeelingalatentvirtuethere,andshehaddevotedherselfalmostexclusivelytohercare。
  M。MadeleinetookSisterSimpliceapartandrecommendedFantinetoherinasingulartone,whichthesisterrecalledlateron。
  Onleavingthesister,heapproachedFantine。
  FantineawaitedM。Madeleine’sappearanceeverydayasoneawaitsarayofwarmthandjoy。Shesaidtothesisters,"IonlylivewhenMonsieurleMaireishere。"
  Shehadagreatdealoffeverthatday。AssoonasshesawM。Madeleinesheaskedhim:——
  "AndCosette?"
  Herepliedwithasmile:——
  "Soon。"
  M。MadeleinewasthesameasusualwithFantine。Onlyheremainedanhourinsteadofhalfanhour,toFantine’sgreatdelight。
  Heurgedeveryonerepeatedlynottoallowtheinvalidtowantforanything。Itwasnoticedthattherewasamomentwhenhiscountenancebecameverysombre。Butthiswasexplainedwhenitbecameknownthatthedoctorhadbentdowntohisearandsaidtohim,"Sheislosinggroundfast。"
  Thenhereturnedtothetown—hall,andtheclerkobservedhimattentivelyexaminingaroadmapofFrancewhichhunginhisstudy。
  Hewroteafewfiguresonabitofpaperwithapencil。
  CHAPTERII
  THEPERSPICACITYOFMASTERSCAUFFLAIRE
  Fromthetown—hallhebetookhimselftotheextremityofthetown,toaFlemingnamedMasterScaufflaer,FrenchScaufflaire,wholetout"horsesandcabrioletsasdesired。"
  InordertoreachthisScaufflaire,theshortestwaywastotakethelittle—frequentedstreetinwhichwassituatedtheparsonageoftheparishinwhichM。Madeleineresided。Thecurewas,itwassaid,aworthy,respectable,andsensibleman。AtthemomentwhenM。Madeleinearrivedinfrontoftheparsonagetherewasbutonepasser—byinthestreet,andthispersonnoticedthis:Afterthemayorhadpassedthepriest’shousehehalted,stoodmotionless,thenturnedabout,andretracedhisstepstothedooroftheparsonage,whichhadanironknocker。Helaidhishandquicklyontheknockerandliftedit;thenhepausedagainandstoppedshort,asthoughinthought,andafterthelapseofafewseconds,insteadofallowingtheknockertofallabruptly,heplaceditgently,andresumedhiswaywithasortofhastewhichhadnotbeenapparentpreviously。
  M。MadeleinefoundMasterScaufflaireathome,engagedinstitchingaharnessover。
  "MasterScaufflaire,"heinquired,"haveyouagoodhorse?"
  "Mr。Mayor,"saidtheFleming,"allmyhorsesaregood。Whatdoyoumeanbyagoodhorse?"
  "Imeanahorsewhichcantraveltwentyleaguesinaday。"
  "Thedeuce!"saidtheFleming。"Twentyleagues!"
  "Yes。"
  "Hitchedtoacabriolet?"
  "Yes。"
  "Andhowlongcanherestattheendofhisjourney?"
  "Hemustbeabletosetoutagainonthenextdayifnecessary。"
  "Totraversethesameroad?"
  "Yes。"
  "Thedeuce!thedeuce!Anditistwentyleagues?"
  M。Madeleinedrewfromhispocketthepaperonwhichhehadpencilledsomefigures。HeshowedittotheFleming。Thefigureswere5,6,81/2。
  "Yousee,"hesaid,"total,nineteenandahalf;aswellsaytwentyleagues。"
  "Mr。Mayor,"returnedtheFleming,"Ihavejustwhatyouwant。
  Mylittlewhitehorse——youmayhaveseenhimpassoccasionally;
  heisasmallbeastfromLowerBoulonnais。Heisfulloffire。
  Theywantedtomakeasaddle—horseofhimatfirst。Bah!Hereared,hekicked,helaideverybodyflatontheground。Hewasthoughttobevicious,andnooneknewwhattodowithhim。Iboughthim。
  Iharnessedhimtoacarriage。Thatiswhathewanted,sir;heisasgentleasagirl;hegoeslikethewind。Ah!indeedhemustnotbemounted。Itdoesnotsuithisideastobeasaddle—horse。Everyonehashisambition。`Draw?Yes。Carry?No。’Wemustsupposethatiswhathesaidtohimself。"
  "Andhewillaccomplishthetrip?"
  "Yourtwentyleaguesallatafulltrot,andinlessthaneighthours。
  Butherearetheconditions。"
  "Statethem。"
  "Inthefirstplace。youwillgivehimhalfanhour’sbreathingspellmidwayoftheroad;hewilleat;andsomeonemustbebywhileheiseatingtopreventthestableboyoftheinnfromstealinghisoats;forIhavenoticedthatininnstheoatsaremoreoftendrunkbythestablementhaneatenbythehorses。"
  "Someonewillbeby。"
  "Inthesecondplace——isthecabrioletforMonsieurleMaire?"
  "Yes。"
  "DoesMonsieurleMaireknowhowtodrive?"
  "Yes。"
  "Well,MonsieurleMairewilltravelaloneandwithoutbaggage,inordernottooverloadthehorse?"
  "Agreed。"
  "ButasMonsieurleMairewillhavenoonewithhim,hewillbeobligedtotakethetroublehimselfofseeingthattheoatsarenotstolen。"
  "Thatisunderstood。"
  "Iamtohavethirtyfrancsaday。Thedaysofresttobepaidforalso——notafarthingless;andthebeast’sfoodtobeatMonsieurleMaire’sexpense。"
  M。Madeleinedrewthreenapoleonsfromhispurseandlaidthemonthetable。
  "Hereisthepayfortwodaysinadvance。"
  "Fourthly,forsuchajourneyacabrioletwouldbetooheavy,andwouldfatiguethehorse。MonsieurleMairemustconsenttotravelinalittletilburythatIown。"
  "Iconsenttothat。"
  "Itislight,butithasnocover。"
  "Thatmakesnodifferencetome。"
  "HasMonsieurleMairereflectedthatweareinthemiddleofwinter?"
  M。Madeleinedidnotreply。TheFlemingresumed:——
  "Thatitisverycold?"
  M。Madeleinepreservedsilence。
  MasterScaufflairecontinued:——
  "Thatitmayrain?"
  M。Madeleineraisedhisheadandsaid:——
  "Thetilburyandthehorsewillbeinfrontofmydoorto—morrowmorningathalf—pastfouro’clock。"
  "Ofcourse,MonsieurleMaire,"repliedScaufflaire;then,scratchingaspeckinthewoodofthetablewithhisthumb—nail,heresumedwiththatcarelessairwhichtheFlemingsunderstandsowellhowtominglewiththeirshrewdness:——
  "ButthisiswhatIamthinkingofnow:MonsieurleMairehasnottoldmewhereheisgoing。WhereisMonsieurleMairegoing?"
  Hehadbeenthinkingofnothingelsesincethebeginningoftheconversation,buthedidnotknowwhyhehadnotdaredtoputthequestion。
  "Areyourhorse’sforelegsgood?"saidM。Madeleine。
  "Yes,MonsieurleMaire。Youmustholdhiminalittlewhengoingdownhill。Aretheremanydescendsbetweenhereandtheplacewhitheryouaregoing?"
  "Donotforgettobeatmydooratpreciselyhalf—pastfouro’clockto—morrowmorning,"repliedM。Madeleine;andhetookhisdeparture。
  TheFlemingremained"utterlystupid,"ashehimselfsaidsometimeafterwards。
  Themayorhadbeengonetwoorthreeminuteswhenthedooropenedagain;
  itwasthemayoroncemore。
  Hestillworethesameimpassiveandpreoccupiedair。
  "MonsieurScaufflaire,"saidhe,"atwhatsumdoyouestimatethevalueofthehorseandtilburywhichyouaretolettome,——
  theonebearingtheother?"
  "Theonedraggingtheother,MonsieurleMaire,"saidtheFleming,withabroadsmile。
  "Sobeit。Well?"
  "DoesMonsieurleMairewishtopurchasethemorme?"
  "No;butIwishtoguaranteeyouinanycase。Youshallgivemebackthesumatmyreturn。Atwhatvaluedoyouestimateyourhorseandcabriolet?"
  "Fivehundredfrancs,MonsieurleMaire。"
  "Hereitis。"
  M。Madeleinelaidabank—billonthetable,thenlefttheroom;
  andthistimehedidnotreturn。
  MasterScaufflaireexperiencedafrightfulregretthathehadnotsaidathousandfrancs。Besidesthehorseandtilburytogetherwereworthbutahundredcrowns。
  TheFlemingcalledhiswife,andrelatedtheaffairtoher。
  "WherethedevilcouldMonsieurleMairebegoing?"Theyheldcounseltogether。"HeisgoingtoParis,"saidthewife。"Idon’tbelieveit,"saidthehusband。
  M。Madeleinehadforgottenthepaperwiththefiguresonit,anditlayonthechimney—piece。TheFlemingpickeditupandstudiedit。
  "Five,six,eightandahalf?Thatmustdesignatethepostingrelays。"
  Heturnedtohiswife:——
  "Ihavefoundout。"
  "What?"
  "ItisfiveleaguesfromheretoHesdin,sixfromHesdintoSaint—Pol,eightandahalffromSaint—PoltoArras。HeisgoingtoArras。"
  Meanwhile,M。Madeleinehadreturnedhome。HehadtakenthelongestwaytoreturnfromMasterScaufflaire’s,asthoughtheparsonagedoorhadbeenatemptationforhim,andhehadwishedtoavoidit。Heascendedtohisroom,andthereheshuthimselfup,whichwasaverysimpleact,sincehelikedtogotobedearly。Nevertheless,theportressofthefactory,whowas,atthesametime,M。Madeleine’sonlyservant,noticedthatthelatter’slightwasextinguishedathalf—pasteight,andshementionedittothecashierwhenhecamehome,adding:——
  "IsMonsieurleMaireill?Ithoughthehadarathersingularair。"
  ThiscashieroccupiedaroomsituateddirectlyunderM。Madeleine’schamber。Hepaidnoheedtotheportress’swords,butwenttobedandtosleep。Towardsmidnighthewokeupwithastart;
  inhissleephehadheardanoiseabovehishead。Helistened;
  itwasafootsteppacingbackandforth,asthoughsomeonewerewalkingintheroomabovehim。Helistenedmoreattentively,andrecognizedM。Madeleine’sstep。Thisstruckhimasstrange;
  usually,therewasnonoiseinM。Madeleine’schamberuntilheroseinthemorning。Amomentlaterthecashierheardanoisewhichresembledthatofacupboardbeingopened,andthenshutagain;
  thenapieceoffurniturewasdisarranged;thenapauseensued;
  thenthestepbeganagain。Thecashiersatupinbed,quiteawakenow,andstaring;andthroughhiswindow—paneshesawthereddishgleamofalightedwindowreflectedontheoppositewall;
  fromthedirectionoftherays,itcouldonlycomefromthewindowofM。Madeleine’schamber。Thereflectionwavered,asthoughitcameratherfromafirewhichhadbeenlightedthanfromacandle。
  Theshadowofthewindow—framewasnotshown,whichindicatedthatthewindowwaswideopen。Thefactthatthiswindowwasopeninsuchcoldweatherwassurprising。Thecashierfellasleepagain。
  Anhourortwolaterhewakedagain。Thesamestepwasstillpassingslowlyandregularlybackandforthoverhead。
  Thereflectionwasstillvisibleonthewall,butnowitwaspaleandpeaceful,likethereflectionofalamporofacandle。
  Thewindowwasstillopen。
  ThisiswhathadtakenplaceinM。Madeleine’sroom。
  CHAPTERIII
  ATEMPESTINASKULL
  Thereaderhas,nodoubt,alreadydivinedthatM。MadeleineisnootherthanJeanValjean。
  Wehavealreadygazedintothedepthsofthisconscience;
  themomenthasnowcomewhenwemusttakeanotherlookintoit。
  Wedosonotwithoutemotionandtrepidation。Thereisnothingmoreterribleinexistencethanthissortofcontemplation。
  Theeyeofthespiritcannowherefindmoredazzlingbrillianceandmoreshadowthaninman;itcanfixitselfonnootherthingwhichismoreformidable,morecomplicated,moremysterious,andmoreinfinite。Thereisaspectaclemoregrandthanthesea;
  itisheaven:thereisaspectaclemoregrandthanheaven;itistheinmostrecessesofthesoul。
  Tomakethepoemofthehumanconscience,wereitonlywithreferencetoasingleman,wereitonlyinconnectionwiththebasestofmen,wouldbetoblendallepicsintoonesuperioranddefinitiveepic。
  Conscienceisthechaosofchimeras,oflusts,andoftemptations;
  thefurnaceofdreams;thelairofideasofwhichweareashamed;
  itisthepandemoniumofsophisms;itisthebattlefieldofthepassions。
  Penetrate,atcertainhours,pastthelividfaceofahumanbeingwhoisengagedinreflection,andlookbehind,gazeintothatsoul,gazeintothatobscurity。There,beneaththatexternalsilence,battlesofgiants,likethoserecordedinHomer,areinprogress;
  skirmishesofdragonsandhydrasandswarmsofphantoms,asinMilton;
  visionarycircles,asinDante。Whatasolemnthingisthisinfinitywhicheverymanbearswithinhim,andwhichhemeasureswithdespairagainstthecapricesofhisbrainandtheactionsofhislife!
  Alighierionedaymetwithasinister—lookingdoor,beforewhichhehesitated。Hereisonebeforeus,uponwhosethresholdwehesitate。
  Letusenter,nevertheless。
  WehavebutlittletoaddtowhatthereaderalreadyknowsofwhathadhappenedtoJeanValjeanaftertheadventurewithLittleGervais。
  Fromthatmomentforthhewas,aswehaveseen,atotallydifferentman。
  WhattheBishophadwishedtomakeofhim,thathecarriedout。
  Itwasmorethanatransformation;itwasatransfiguration。
  Hesucceededindisappearing,soldtheBishop’ssilver,reservingonlythecandlesticksasasouvenir,creptfromtowntotown,traversedFrance,cametoM。surM。,conceivedtheideawhichwehavementioned,accomplishedwhatwehaverelated,succeededinrenderinghimselfsafefromseizureandinaccessible,and,thenceforth,establishedatM。surM。,happyinfeelinghisconsciencesaddenedbythepastandthefirsthalfofhisexistencebeliedbythelast,helivedinpeace,reassuredandhopeful,havinghenceforthonlytwothoughts,——toconcealhisnameandtosanctifyhislife;toescapemenandtoreturntoGod。
  Thesetwothoughtsweresocloselyintertwinedinhismindthattheyformedbutasingleonethere;bothwereequallyabsorbingandimperativeandruledhisslightestactions。Ingeneral,theyconspiredtoregulatetheconductofhislife;theyturnedhimtowardsthegloom;theyrenderedhimkindlyandsimple;
  theycounselledhimtothesamethings。Sometimes,however,theyconflicted。Inthatcase,asthereaderwillremember,themanwhomallthecountryofM。surM。calledM。Madeleinedidnothesitatetosacrificethefirsttothesecond——hissecuritytohisvirtue。Thus,inspiteofallhisreserveandallhisprudence,hehadpreservedtheBishop’scandlesticks,wornmourningforhim,summonedandinterrogatedallthelittleSavoyardswhopassedthatway,collectedinformationregardingthefamiliesatFaverolles,andsavedoldFauchelevent’slife,despitethedisquietinginsinuationsofJavert。Itseemed,aswehavealreadyremarked,asthoughhethought,followingtheexampleofallthosewhohavebeenwise,holy,andjust,thathisfirstdutywasnottowardshimself。
  Atthesametime,itmustbeconfessed,nothingjustlikethishadyetpresenteditself。
  Neverhadthetwoideaswhichgovernedtheunhappymanwhosesufferingswearenarrating,engagedinsoseriousastruggle。
  HeunderstoodthisconfusedlybutprofoundlyattheveryfirstwordspronouncedbyJavert,whenthelatterenteredhisstudy。Atthemomentwhenthatname,whichhehadburiedbeneathsomanylayers,wassostrangelyarticulated,hewasstruckwithstupor,andasthoughintoxicatedwiththesinistereccentricityofhisdestiny;
  andthroughthisstuporhefeltthatshudderwhichprecedesgreatshocks。Hebentlikeanoakattheapproachofastorm,likeasoldierattheapproachofanassault。Hefeltshadowsfilledwiththundersandlightningsdescendinguponhishead。
  AshelistenedtoJavert,thefirstthoughtwhichoccurredtohimwastogo,torunanddenouncehimself,totakethatChampmathieuoutofprisonandplacehimselfthere;thiswasaspainfulandaspoignantasanincisioninthelivingflesh。Thenitpassedaway,andhesaidtohimself,"Wewillsee!Wewillsee!"Herepressedthisfirst,generousinstinct,andrecoiledbeforeheroism。
  Itwouldbebeautiful,nodoubt,aftertheBishop’sholywords,aftersomanyyearsofrepentanceandabnegation,inthemidstofapenitenceadmirablybegun,ifthismanhadnotflinchedforaninstant,eveninthepresenceofsoterribleaconjecture,buthadcontinuedtowalkwiththesamesteptowardsthisyawningprecipice,atthebottomofwhichlayheaven;thatwouldhavebeenbeautiful;
  butitwasnotthus。Wemustrenderanaccountofthethingswhichwentoninthissoul,andwecanonlytellwhattherewasthere。
  Hewascarriedaway,atfirst,bytheinstinctofself—preservation;
  heralliedallhisideasinhaste,stifledhisemotions,tookintoconsiderationJavert’spresence,thatgreatdanger,postponedalldecisionwiththefirmnessofterror,shookoffthoughtastowhathehadtodo,andresumedhiscalmnessasawarriorpicksuphisbuckler。
  Heremainedinthisstateduringtherestoftheday,awhirlwindwithin,aprofoundtranquillitywithout。Hetookno"preservativemeasures,"
  astheymaybecalled。Everythingwasstillconfused,andjostlingtogetherinhisbrain。Histroublewassogreatthathecouldnotperceivetheformofasingleideadistinctly,andhecouldhavetoldnothingabouthimself,exceptthathehadreceivedagreatblow。
  HerepairedtoFantine’sbedofsuffering,asusual,andprolongedhisvisit,throughakindlyinstinct,tellinghimselfthathemustbehavethus,andrecommendherwelltothesisters,incaseheshouldbeobligedtobeabsenthimself。HehadavaguefeelingthathemightbeobligedtogotoArras;andwithouthavingtheleastintheworldmadeuphismindtothistrip,hesaidtohimselfthatbeing,ashewas,beyondtheshadowofanysuspicion,therecouldbenothingoutofthewayinbeingawitnesstowhatwastotakeplace,andheengagedthetilburyfromScaufflaireinordertobepreparedinanyevent。
  Hedinedwithagooddealofappetite。
  Onreturningtohisroom,hecommunedwithhimself。
  Heexaminedthesituation,andfounditunprecedented;
  sounprecedentedthatinthemidstofhisreveryherosefromhischair,movedbysomeinexplicableimpulseofanxiety,andboltedhisdoor。Hefearedlestsomethingmoreshouldenter。
  Hewasbarricadinghimselfagainstpossibilities。
  Amomentlaterheextinguishedhislight;itembarrassedhim。
  ltseemedtohimasthoughhemightbeseen。
  Bywhom?
  Alas!Thatonwhichhedesiredtoclosethedoorhadalreadyentered;
  thatwhichhedesiredtoblindwasstaringhimintheface,——
  hisconscience。
  Hisconscience;thatistosay,God。
  Nevertheless,hedeludedhimselfatfirst;hehadafeelingofsecurityandofsolitude;theboltoncedrawn,hethoughthimselfimpregnable;
  thecandleextinguished,hefelthimselfinvisible。Thenhetookpossessionofhimself:hesethiselbowsonthetable,leanedhisheadonhishand,andbegantomeditateinthedark。
  "WheredoIstand?AmnotIdreaming?WhathaveIheard?IsitreallytruethatIhaveseenthatJavert,andthathespoketomeinthatmanner?WhocanthatChampmathieube?Soheresemblesme!
  Isitpossible?WhenIreflectthatyesterdayIwassotranquil,andsofarfromsuspectinganything!WhatwasIdoingyesterdayatthishour?Whatisthereinthisincident?Whatwilltheendbe?
  Whatistobedone?"
  Thiswasthetormentinwhichhefoundhimself。Hisbrainhadlostitspowerofretainingideas;theypassedlikewaves,andheclutchedhisbrowinbothhandstoarrestthem。
  Nothingbutanguishextricateditselffromthistumultwhichoverwhelmedhiswillandhisreason,andfromwhichhesoughttodrawproofandresolution。
  Hisheadwasburning。Hewenttothewindowandthrewitwideopen。
  Therewerenostarsinthesky。Hereturnedandseatedhimselfatthetable。
  Thefirsthourpassedinthismanner。
  Gradually,however,vagueoutlinesbegantotakeformandtofixthemselvesinhismeditation,andhewasabletocatchaglimpsewithprecisionofthereality,——notthewholesituation,butsomeofthedetails。Hebeganbyrecognizingthefactthat,criticalandextraordinaryaswasthissituation,hewascompletelymasterofit。
  Thisonlycausedanincreaseofhisstupor。
  Independentlyofthesevereandreligiousaimwhichhehadassignedtohisactions,allthathehadmadeuptothatdayhadbeennothingbutaholeinwhichtoburyhisname。Thatwhichhehadalwaysfearedmostofallinhishoursofself—communion,duringhissleeplessnights,wastoeverhearthatnamepronounced;
  hehadsaidtohimself,thatthatwouldbetheendofallthingsforhim;thatonthedaywhenthatnamemadeitsreappearanceitwouldcausehisnewlifetovanishfromabouthim,and——whoknows?——
  perhapsevenhisnewsoulwithinhim,also。Heshudderedattheverythoughtthatthiswaspossible。Assuredly,ifanyonehadsaidtohimatsuchmomentsthatthehourwouldcomewhenthatnamewouldringinhisears,whenthehideouswords,JeanValjean,wouldsuddenlyemergefromthedarknessandriseinfrontofhim,whenthatformidablelight,capableofdissipatingthemysteryinwhichhehadenvelopedhimself,wouldsuddenlyblazeforthabovehishead,andthatthatnamewouldnotmenacehim,thatthatlightwouldbutproduceanobscuritymoredense,thatthisrentveilwouldbutincreasethemystery,thatthisearthquakewouldsolidifyhisedifice,thatthisprodigiousincidentwouldhavenootherresult,sofarashewasconcerned,ifsoitseemedgoodtohim,thanthatofrenderinghisexistenceatonceclearerandmoreimpenetrable,andthat,outofhisconfrontationwiththephantomofJeanValjean,thegoodandworthycitizenMonsieurMadeleinewouldemergemorehonored,morepeaceful,andmorerespectedthanever——ifanyonehadtoldhimthat,hewouldhavetossedhisheadandregardedthewordsasthoseofamadman。Well,allthiswaspreciselywhathadjustcometopass;allthataccumulationofimpossibilitieswasafact,andGodhadpermittedthesewildfanciestobecomerealthings!
  Hisreverycontinuedtogrowclearer。Hecamemoreandmoretoanunderstandingofhisposition。
  Itseemedtohimthathehadbutjustwakedupfromsomeinexplicabledream,andthathefoundhimselfslippingdownadeclivityinthemiddleofthenight,erect,shivering,holdingbackallinvain,ontheverybrinkoftheabyss。Hedistinctlyperceivedinthedarknessastranger,amanunknowntohim,whomdestinyhadmistakenforhim,andwhomshewasthrustingintothegulfinhisstead;
  inorderthatthegulfmightcloseoncemore,itwasnecessarythatsomeone,himselforthatotherman,shouldfallintoit:
  hehadonlyletthingstaketheircourse。
  Thelightbecamecomplete,andheacknowledgedthistohimself:
  Thathisplacewasemptyinthegalleys;thatdowhathewould,itwasstillawaitinghim;thatthetheftfromlittleGervaishadledhimbacktoit;thatthisvacantplacewouldawaithim,anddrawhimonuntilhefilledit;thatthiswasinevitableandfatal;andthenhesaidtohimself,"that,atthismoment,behadasubstitute;
  thatitappearedthatacertainChampmathieuhadthatillluck,andthat,asregardshimself,beingpresentinthegalleysinthepersonofthatChampmathieu,presentinsocietyunderthenameofM。Madeleine,hehadnothingmoretofear,providedthathedidnotpreventmenfromsealingovertheheadofthatChampmathieuthisstoneofinfamywhich,likethestoneofthesepulchre,fallsonce,nevertoriseagain。"
  Allthiswassostrangeandsoviolent,thattheresuddenlytookplaceinhimthatindescribablemovement,whichnomanfeelsmorethantwoorthreetimesinthecourseofhislife,asortofconvulsionoftheconsciencewhichstirsupallthatthereisdoubtfulintheheart,whichiscomposedofirony,ofjoy,andofdespair,andwhichmaybecalledanoutburstofinwardlaughter。
  Hehastilyrelightedhiscandle。
  "Well,whatthen?"hesaidtohimself;"whatamIafraidof?
  Whatisthereinallthatformetothinkabout?Iamsafe;
  allisover。Ihadbutonepartlyopendoorthroughwhichmypastmightinvademylife,andbeholdthatdooriswalledupforever!
  ThatJavert,whohasbeenannoyingmesolong;thatterribleinstinctwhichseemedtohavedivinedme,whichhaddivinedme——
  goodGod!andwhichfollowedmeeverywhere;thatfrightfulhunting—dog,alwaysmakingapointatme,isthrownoffthescent,engagedelsewhere,absolutelyturnedfromthetrail:henceforthheissatisfied;hewillleavemeinpeace;hehashisJeanValjean。
  Whoknows?itisevenprobablethathewillwishtoleavetown!
  Andallthishasbeenbroughtaboutwithoutanyaidfromme,andI
  countfornothinginit!Ah!butwhereisthemisfortuneinthis?
  Uponmyhonor,peoplewouldthink,toseeme,thatsomecatastrophehadhappenedtome!Afterall,ifitdoesbringharmtosomeone,thatisnotmyfaultintheleast:itisProvidencewhichhasdoneitall;itisbecauseitwishesitsotobe,evidently。HaveI
  therighttodisarrangewhatithasarranged?WhatdoIasknow?
  WhyshouldImeddle?Itdoesnotconcernme;what!Iamnotsatisfied:
  butwhatmoredoIwant?ThegoaltowhichIhaveaspiredforsomanyyears,thedreamofmynights,theobjectofmyprayerstoHeaven,——security,——Ihavenowattained;itisGodwhowillsit;
  IcandonothingagainstthewillofGod,andwhydoesGodwillit?
  InorderthatImaycontinuewhatIhavebegun,thatImaydogood,thatImayonedaybeagrandandencouragingexample,thatitmaybesaidatlast,thatalittlehappinesshasbeenattachedtothepenancewhichIhaveundergone,andtothatvirtuetowhichI
  havereturned。Really,IdonotunderstandwhyIwasafraid,alittlewhileago,toenterthehouseofthatgoodcure,andtoaskhisadvice;thisisevidentlywhathewouldhavesaidtome:
  Itissettled;letthingstaketheircourse;letthegoodGoddoashelikes!"
  Thusdidheaddresshimselfinthedepthsofhisownconscience,bendingoverwhatmaybecalledhisownabyss;herosefromhischair,andbegantopacetheroom:"Come,"saidhe,"letusthinknomoreaboutit;myresolveistaken!"buthefeltnojoy。
  Quitethereverse。
  Onecannomorepreventthoughtfromrecurringtoanideathanonecantheseafromreturningtotheshore:thesailorcallsitthetide;
  theguiltymancallsitremorse;Godupheavesthesoulashedoestheocean。
  Aftertheexpirationofafewmoments,dowhathewould,heresumedthegloomydialogueinwhichitwashewhospokeandhewholistened,sayingthatwhichhewouldhavepreferredtoignore,andlistenedtothatwhichhewouldhavepreferrednottohear,yieldingtothatmysteriouspowerwhichsaidtohim:"Think!"asitsaidtoanothercondemnedman,twothousandyearsago,"Marchon!"
  Beforeproceedingfurther,andinordertomakeourselvesfullyunderstood,letusinsistupononenecessaryobservation。
  Itiscertainthatpeopledotalktothemselves;thereisnolivingbeingwhohasnotdoneit。Itmayevenbesaidthatthewordisneveramoremagnificentmysterythanwhenitgoesfromthoughttoconsciencewithinaman,andwhenitreturnsfromconsciencetothought;itisinthissenseonlythatthewordssooftenemployedinthischapter,hesaid,heexclaimed,mustbeunderstood;
  onespeakstoone’sself,talkstoone’sself,exclaimstoone’sselfwithoutbreakingtheexternalsilence;thereisagreattumult;
  everythingaboutustalksexceptthemouth。Therealitiesofthesoularenonethelessrealitiesbecausetheyarenotvisibleandpalpable。
  Soheaskedhimselfwherehestood。Heinterrogatedhimselfuponthat"settledresolve。"Heconfessedtohimselfthatallthathehadjustarrangedinhismindwasmonstrous,that"toletthingstaketheircourse,toletthegoodGoddoasheliked,"wassimplyhorrible;toallowthiserroroffateandofmentobecarriedout,nottohinderit,tolendhimselftoitthroughhissilence,todonothing,inshort,wastodoeverything!thatthiswashypocriticalbasenessinthelastdegree!thatitwasabase,cowardly,sneaking,abject,hideouscrime!
  Forthefirsttimeineightyears,thewretchedmanhadjusttastedthebittersavorofanevilthoughtandofanevilaction。
  Hespititoutwithdisgust。
  Hecontinuedtoquestionhimself。Heaskedhimselfseverelywhathehadmeantbythis,"Myobjectisattained!"Hedeclaredtohimselfthathislifereallyhadanobject;butwhatobject?
  Toconcealhisname?Todeceivethepolice?Wasitforsopettyathingthathehaddoneallthathehaddone?Hadhenotanotherandagrandobject,whichwasthetrueone——tosave,nothisperson,buthissoul;tobecomehonestandgoodoncemore;tobeajustman?
  Wasitnotthataboveall,thatalone,whichhehadalwaysdesired,whichtheBishophadenjoineduponhim——toshutthedooronhispast?
  Buthewasnotshuttingit!greatGod!hewasre—openingitbycommittinganinfamousaction!Hewasbecomingathiefoncemore,andthemostodiousofthieves!Hewasrobbinganotherofhisexistence,hislife,hispeace,hisplaceinthesunshine。
  Hewasbecominganassassin。Hewasmurdering,morallymurdering,awretchedman。Hewasinflictingonhimthatfrightfullivingdeath,thatdeathbeneaththeopensky,whichiscalledthegalleys。
  Ontheotherhand,tosurrenderhimselftosavethatman,struckdownwithsomelancholyanerror,toresumehisownname,tobecomeoncemore,outofduty,theconvictJeanValjean,thatwas,intruth,toachievehisresurrection,andtocloseforeverthathellwhencehehadjustemerged;tofallbackthereinappearancewastoescapefromitinreality。Thismustbedone!Hehaddonenothingifhedidnotdoallthis;hiswholelifewasuseless;
  allhispenitencewaswasted。Therewasnolongeranyneedofsaying,"Whatistheuse?"HefeltthattheBishopwasthere,thattheBishopwaspresentallthemorebecausehewasdead,thattheBishopwasgazingfixedlyathim,thathenceforthMayorMadeleine,withallhisvirtues,wouldbeabominabletohim,andthattheconvictJeanValjeanwouldbepureandadmirableinhissight;
  thatmenbeheldhismask,butthattheBishopsawhisface;
  thatmensawhislife,butthattheBishopbeheldhisconscience。
  SohemustgotoArras,deliverthefalseJeanValjean,anddenouncetherealone。Alas!thatwasthegreatestofsacrifices,themostpoignantofvictories,thelaststeptotake;butitmustbedone。
  Sadfate!hewouldenterintosanctityonlyintheeyesofGodwhenhereturnedtoinfamyintheeyesofmen。
  "Well,saidhe,"letusdecideuponthis;letusdoourduty;letussavethisman。"Heutteredthesewordsaloud,withoutperceivingthathewasspeakingaloud。
  Hetookhisbooks,verifiedthem,andputtheminorder。
  Heflunginthefireabundleofbillswhichhehadagainstpettyandembarrassedtradesmen。Hewroteandsealedaletter,andontheenvelopeitmighthavebeenread,hadtherebeenanyoneinhischamberatthemoment,ToMonsieurLaffitte,Banker,Rued’Artois,Paris。Hedrewfromhissecretaryapocket—bookwhichcontainedseveralbank—notesandthepassportofwhichhehadmadeusethatsameyearwhenhewenttotheelections。
  Anyonewhohadseenhimduringtheexecutionofthesevariousacts,intowhichthereenteredsuchgravethought,wouldhavehadnosuspicionofwhatwasgoingonwithinhim。Onlyoccasionallydidhislipsmove;atothertimesheraisedhisheadandfixedhisgazeuponsomepointofthewall,asthoughthereexistedatthatpointsomethingwhichhewishedtoelucidateorinterrogate。
  WhenhehadfinishedthelettertoM。Laffitte,heputitintohispocket,togetherwiththepocket—book,andbeganhiswalkoncemore。
  Hisreveryhadnotswervedfromitscourse。Hecontinuedtoseehisdutyclearly,writteninluminousletters,whichflamedbeforehiseyesandchangeditsplaceashealteredthedirectionofhisglance:——
  "Go!Tellyourname!Denounceyourself!"
  Inthesamewayhebeheld,asthoughtheyhadpassedbeforehiminvisibleforms,thetwoideaswhichhad,uptothattime,formedthedoubleruleofhissoul,——theconcealmentofhisname,thesanctificationofhislife。Forthefirsttimetheyappearedtohimasabsolutelydistinct,andheperceivedthedistancewhichseparatedthem。Herecognizedthefactthatoneoftheseideaswas,necessarily,good,whiletheothermightbecomebad;
  thatthefirstwasself—devotion,andthattheotherwaspersonality;
  thattheonesaid,myneighbor,andthattheothersaid,myself;
  thatoneemanatedfromthelight,andtheotherfromdarkness。
  Theywereantagonistic。Hesawtheminconflict。Inproportionashemeditated,theygrewbeforetheeyesofhisspirit。
  Theyhadnowattainedcolossalstatures,anditseemedtohimthathebeheldwithinhimself,inthatinfinityofwhichwewererecentlyspeaking,inthemidstofthedarknessandthelights,agoddessandagiantcontending。
  Hewasfilledwithterror;butitseemedtohimthatthegoodthoughtwasgettingtheupperhand。
  Hefeltthathewasonthebrinkoftheseconddecisivecrisisofhisconscienceandofhisdestiny;thattheBishophadmarkedthefirstphaseofhisnewlife,andthatChampmathieumarkedthesecond。
  Afterthegrandcrisis,thegrandtest。
  Butthefever,allayedforaninstant,graduallyresumedpossessionofhim。Athousandthoughtstraversedhismind,buttheycontinuedtofortifyhiminhisresolution。
  Onemomenthesaidtohimselfthathewas,perhaps,takingthemattertookeenly;that,afterall,thisChampmathieuwasnotinteresting,andthathehadactuallybeenguiltyoftheft。
  Heansweredhimself:"Ifthismanhas,indeed,stolenafewapples,thatmeansamonthinprison。Itisalongwayfromthattothegalleys。
  Andwhoknows?Didhesteal?Hasitbeenproved?ThenameofJeanValjeanoverwhelmshim,andseemstodispensewithproofs。
  DonottheattorneysfortheCrownalwaysproceedinthismanner?
  Heissupposedtobeathiefbecauseheisknowntobeaconvict。"
  Inanotherinstantthethoughthadoccurredtohimthat,whenhedenouncedhimself,theheroismofhisdeedmight,perhaps,betakenintoconsideration,andhishonestlifeforthelastsevenyears,andwhathehaddoneforthedistrict,andthattheywouldhavemercyonhim。
  Butthissuppositionvanishedveryquickly,andhesmiledbitterlyasherememberedthatthetheftofthefortysousfromlittleGervaisputhiminthepositionofamanguiltyofasecondoffenceafterconviction,thatthisaffairwouldcertainlycomeup,and,accordingtotheprecisetermsofthelaw,wouldrenderhimliabletopenalservitudeforlife。
  Heturnedasidefromallillusions,detachedhimselfmoreandmorefromearth,andsoughtstrengthandconsolationelsewhere。
  Hetoldhimselfthathemustdohisduty;thatperhapsheshouldnotbemoreunhappyafterdoinghisdutythanafterhavingavoidedit;
  thatifheallowedthingstotaketheirowncourse,ifheremainedatM。surM。,hisconsideration,hisgoodname,hisgoodworks,thedeferenceandvenerationpaidtohim,hischarity,hiswealth,hispopularity,hisvirtue,wouldbeseasonedwithacrime。
  Andwhatwouldbethetasteofalltheseholythingswhenboundupwiththishideousthing?while,ifheaccomplishedhissacrifice,acelestialideawouldbemingledwiththegalleys,thepost,theironnecklet,thegreencap,unceasingtoil,andpitilessshame。
  Atlengthhetoldhimselfthatitmustbeso,thathisdestinywasthusallotted,thathehadnotauthoritytoalterthearrangementsmadeonhigh,that,inanycase,hemustmakehischoice:virtuewithoutandabominationwithin,orholinesswithinandinfamywithout。
  Thestirringupoftheselugubriousideasdidnotcausehiscouragetofail,buthisbraingrowweary。Hebegantothinkofotherthings,ofindifferentmatters,inspiteofhimself。
  Theveinsinhistemplesthrobbedviolently;hestillpacedtoandfro;
  midnightsoundedfirstfromtheparishchurch,thenfromthetown—hall;
  hecountedthetwelvestrokesofthetwoclocks,andcomparedthesoundsofthetwobells;herecalledinthisconnectionthefactthat,afewdayspreviously,hehadseeninanironmonger’sshopanancientclockforsale,uponwhichwaswrittenthename,Antoine—AlbindeRomainville。
  Hewascold;helightedasmallfire;itdidnotoccurtohimtoclosethewindow。
  Inthemeantimehehadrelapsedintohisstupor;hewasobligedtomakeatolerablyvigorousefforttorecallwhathadbeenthesubjectofhisthoughtsbeforemidnighthadstruck;hefinallysucceededindoingthis。
  "Ah!yes,"hesaidtohimself,"Ihadresolvedtoinformagainstmyself。"
  Andthen,allofasudden,hethoughtofFantine。
  "Hold!"saidhe,"andwhataboutthatpoorwoman?"
  Hereafreshcrisisdeclareditself。
  Fantine,byappearingthusabruptlyinhisrevery,producedtheeffectofanunexpectedrayoflight;itseemedtohimasthougheverythingabouthimwereundergoingachangeofaspect:heexclaimed:——
  "Ah!butIhavehithertoconsiderednoonebutmyself;itisproperformetoholdmytongueortodenouncemyself,toconcealmypersonortosavemysoul,tobeadespicableandrespectedmagistrate,oraninfamousandvenerableconvict;itisI,itisalwaysI
  andnothingbutI:but,goodGod!allthisisegotism;thesearediverseformsofegotism,butitisegotismallthesame。
  WhatifIweretothinkalittleaboutothers?Thehighestholinessistothinkofothers;come,letusexaminethematter。
  The_I_excepted,the_I_effaced,the_I_forgotten,whatwouldbetheresultofallthis?WhatifIdenouncemyself?Iamarrested;
  thisChampmathieuisreleased;Iamputbackinthegalleys;thatiswell——
  andwhatthen?Whatisgoingonhere?Ah!hereisacountry,atown,herearefactories,anindustry,workers,bothmenandwomen,agedgrandsires,children,poorpeople!AllthisIhavecreated;
  alltheseIprovidewiththeirliving;everywherewherethereisasmokingchimney,itisIwhohaveplacedthebrandonthehearthandmeatinthepot;Ihavecreatedease,circulation,credit;
  beforemetherewasnothing;Ihaveelevated,vivified,informedwithlife,fecundated,stimulated,enrichedthewholecountry—side;
  lackingme,thesoulislacking;Itakemyselfoff,everythingdies:
  andthiswoman,whohassufferedsomuch,whopossessessomanymeritsinspiteofherfall;thecauseofallwhosemiseryIhaveunwittinglybeen!AndthatchildwhomImeanttogoinsearchof,whomIhavepromisedtohermother;doInotalsoowesomethingtothiswoman,inreparationfortheevilwhichIhavedoneher?
  IfIdisappear,whathappens?Themotherdies;thechildbecomeswhatitcan;thatiswhatwilltakeplace,ifIdenouncemyself。
  IfIdonotdenouncemyself?come,letusseehowitwillbeifIdonotdenouncemyself。"
  Afterputtingthisquestiontohimself,hepaused;heseemedtoundergoamomentaryhesitationandtrepidation;butitdidnotlastlong,andheansweredhimselfcalmly:——
  "Well,thismanisgoingtothegalleys;itistrue,butwhatthedeuce!hehasstolen!Thereisnouseinmysayingthathehasnotbeenguiltyoftheft,forhehas!Iremainhere;Igoon:
  intenyearsIshallhavemadetenmillions;Iscatterthemoverthecountry;Ihavenothingofmyown;whatisthattome?
  ItisnotformyselfthatIamdoingit;theprosperityofallgoesonaugmenting;industriesarearousedandanimated;
  factoriesandshopsaremultiplied;families,ahundredfamilies,athousandfamilies,arehappy;thedistrictbecomespopulated;
  villagesspringupwheretherewereonlyfarmsbefore;
  farmsrisewheretherewasnothing;wretchednessdisappears,andwithwretchednessdebauchery,prostitution,theft,murder;
  allvicesdisappear,allcrimes:andthispoormotherrearsherchild;
  andbeholdawholecountryrichandhonest!Ah!Iwasafool!
  Iwasabsurd!whatwasthatIwassayingaboutdenouncingmyself?
  Ireallymustpayattentionandnotbeprecipitateaboutanything。
  What!becauseitwouldhavepleasedmetoplaythegrandandgenerous;
  thisismelodrama,afterall;becauseIshouldhavethoughtofnoonebutmyself,theidea!forthesakeofsavingfromapunishment,atrifleexaggerated,perhaps,butjustatbottom,nooneknowswhom,athief,agood—for—nothing,evidently,awholecountry—sidemustperish!apoorwomanmustdieinthehospital!apoorlittlegirlmustdieinthestreet!likedogs;ah,thisisabominable!
  Andwithoutthemotherevenhavingseenherchildoncemore,almostwithoutthechild’shavingknownhermother;andallthatforthesakeofanoldwretchofanapple—thiefwho,mostassuredly,hasdeservedthegalleysforsomethingelse,ifnotforthat;
  finescruples,indeed,whichsaveaguiltymanandsacrificetheinnocent,whichsaveanoldvagabondwhohasonlyafewyearstoliveatmost,andwhowillnotbemoreunhappyinthegalleysthaninhishovel,andwhichsacrificeawholepopulation,mothers,wives,children。
  ThispoorlittleCosettewhohasnooneintheworldbutme,andwhois,nodoubt,bluewithcoldatthismomentinthedenofthoseThenardiers;thosepeoplesarerascals;andIwasgoingtoneglectmydutytowardsallthesepoorcreatures;andIwasgoingofftodenouncemyself;andIwasabouttocommitthatunspeakablefolly!
  Letusputitattheworst:supposethatthereisawrongactiononmypartinthis,andthatmyconsciencewillreproachmeforitsomeday,toaccept,forthegoodofothers,thesereproacheswhichweighonlyonmyself;thisevilactionwhichcompromisesmysoulalone;inthatliesself—sacrifice;inthatalonethereisvirtue。"
  Heroseandresumedhismarch;thistime,heseemedtobecontent。
  Diamondsarefoundonlyinthedarkplacesoftheearth;
  truthsarefoundonlyinthedepthsofthought。Itseemedtohim,that,afterhavingdescendedintothesedepths,afterhavinglonggropedamongthedarkestoftheseshadows,hehadatlastfoundoneofthesediamonds,oneofthesetruths,andthathenowhelditinhishand,andhewasdazzledashegazeduponit。
  "Yes,"hethought,"thisisright;Iamontherightroad;Ihavethesolution;Imustendbyholdingfasttosomething;myresolveistaken;letthingstaketheircourse;letusnolongervacillate;
  letusnolongerhangback;thisisfortheinterestofall,notformyown;IamMadeleine,andMadeleineIremain。WoetothemanwhoisJeanValjean!Iamnolongerhe;Idonotknowthatman;
  Inolongerknowanything;itturnsoutthatsomeoneisJeanValjeanatthepresentmoment;lethimlookoutforhimself;
  thatdoesnotconcernme;itisafatalnamewhichwasfloatingabroadinthenight;ifithaltsanddescendsonahead,somuchtheworseforthathead。"
  Helookedintothelittlemirrorwhichhungabovehischimney—piece,andsaid:——
  "Hold!ithasrelievedmetocometoadecision;Iamquiteanothermannow。"
  Heproceededafewpacesfurther,thenhestoppedshort。
  "Come!"hesaid,"ImustnotflinchbeforeanyoftheconsequencesoftheresolutionwhichIhaveonceadopted;therearestillthreadswhichattachmetothatJeanValjean;theymustbebroken;
  inthisveryroomthereareobjectswhichwouldbetrayme,dumbthingswhichwouldbearwitnessagainstme;itissettled;
  allthesethingsmustdisappear。"