首页 >出版文学> Vanity Fair>第93章

第93章

  saysone。”Beoff。”saysanotherfiercely。Three-and-sixpencehasbeenspentinvain——thescreensretiretoMissClapp’sbedroom,whopersistsinthinkingthemlovely。
  Shewritesoutalittlecardinherneatesthand,andafterlongthoughtandlabourofcomposition,inwhichthepublicisinformedthat“ALadywhohassometimeatherdisposal,wishestoundertaketheeducationofsomelittlegirls,whomshewouldinstructinEnglish,inFrench,inGeography,inHistory,andinMusic——addressA。O。,atMr。Brown’s“;andsheconfidesthecardtothegentlemanoftheFineArtRepository,whoconsentstoallowittolieuponthecounter,whereitgrowsdingyandfly-blown。Ameliapassesthedoorwistfullymanyatime,inhopesthatMr。Brownwillhavesomenewstogiveher,butheneverbeckonsherin。Whenshegoestomakelittlepurchases,thereisnonewsforher。Poorsimplelady,tenderandweak——howareyoutobattlewiththestrugglingviolentworld?
  Shegrowsdailymorecare-wornandsad,fixinguponherchildalarmedeyes,whereofthelittleboycannotinterprettheexpression。Shestartsupofanightandpeepsintohisroomstealthily,toseethatheissleepingandnotstolenaway。Shesleepsbutlittlenow。A
  constantthoughtandterrorishauntingher。Howsheweepsandpraysinthelongsilentnights——howshetriestohidefromherselfthethoughtwhichwillreturntoher,thatsheoughttopartwiththeboy,thatsheistheonlybarrierbetweenhimandprosperity。Shecan’t,shecan’t。
  Notnow,atleast。Someotherday。Oh!itistoohardtothinkofandtobear。
  Athoughtcomesoverherwhichmakesherblushandturnfromherself——herparentsmightkeeptheannuity——thecuratewouldmarryherandgiveahometoherandtheboy。ButGeorge’spictureanddearestmemoryaretheretorebukeher。Shameandlovesaynotothesacrifice。Sheshrinksfromitasfromsomethingunholy,andsuchthoughtsneverfoundaresting-placeinthatpureandgentlebosom。
  Thecombat,whichwedescribeinasentenceortwo,lastedformanyweeksinpoorAmelia’sheart,duringwhichshehadnoconfidante;indeed,shecouldneverhaveone,asshewouldnotallowtoherselfthepossibilityofyielding,thoughshewasgivingwaydailybeforetheenemywithwhomshehadtobattle。Onetruthafteranotherwasmarshallingitselfsilentlyagainstherandkeepingitsground。Povertyandmiseryforall,wantanddegradationforherparents,injusticetotheboy——
  onebyonetheoutworksofthelittlecitadelweretaken,inwhichthepoorsoulpassionatelyguardedheronlyloveandtreasure。
  Atthebeginningofthestruggle,shehadwrittenoffaletteroftendersupplicationtoherbrotheratCalcutta,imploringhimnottowithdrawthesupportwhichhehadgrantedtotheirparentsandpaintingintermsofartlesspathostheirlonelyandhaplesscondition。Shedidnotknowthetruthofthematter。ThepaymentofJos’sannuitywasstillregular,butitwasamoney-lenderintheCitywhowasreceivingit:oldSedleyhadsolditforasumofmoneywherewithtoprosecutehisbootlessschemes。Emmywascalculatingeagerlythetimethatwouldelapsebeforetheletterwouldarriveandbeanswered。Shehadwrittendownthedateinherpocket-
  bookofthedaywhenshedispatchedit。Toherson’sguardian,thegoodMajoratMadras,shehadnotcommunicatedanyofhergriefsandperplexities。Shehadnotwrittentohimsinceshewrotetocongratulatehimonhisapproachingmarriage。Shethoughtwithsickeningdespondency,thatthatfriend——theonlyone,theonewhohadfeltsucharegardforher——wasfallenaway。
  Oneday,whenthingshadcometoaverybadpass——whenthecreditorswerepressing,themotherinhystericgrief,thefatherinmorethanusualgloom,theinmatesofthefamilyavoidingeachother,eachsecretlyoppressedwithhisprivateunhappinessandnotionofwrong——thefatheranddaughterhappenedtobeleftalonetogether,andAmeliathoughttocomfortherfatherbytellinghimwhatshehaddone。ShehadwrittentoJoseph——ananswermustcomeinthreeorfourmonths。
  Hewasalwaysgenerous,thoughcareless。Hecouldnotrefuse,whenheknewhowstraitenedwerethecircumstancesofhisparents。
  Thenthepooroldgentlemanrevealedthewholetruthtoher——thathissonwasstillpayingtheannuity,whichhisownimprudencehadflungaway。Hehadnotdaredtotellitsooner。HethoughtAmelia’sghastlyandterrifiedlook,when,withatrembling,miserablevoicehemadetheconfession,conveyedreproachestohimforhisconcealment。”Ah!”saidhewithquiveringlipsandturningaway,“youdespiseyouroldfathernow!”
  “Oh,papalitisnotthat。”Ameliacriedout,fallingonhisneckandkissinghimmanytimes。”Youarealwaysgoodandkind。Youdiditforthebest。Itisnotforthemoney——itis——myGod!myGod!havemercyuponme,andgivemestrengthtobearthistrial“;andshekissedhimagainwildlyandwentaway。
  Stillthefatherdidnotknowwhatthatexplanationmeant,andtheburstofanguishwithwhichthepoorgirllefthim。Itwasthatshewasconquered。Thesentencewaspassed。Thechildmustgofromher——toothers——toforgether。Herheartandhertreasure——herjoy,hope,love,worship——herGod,almost!Shemustgivehimup,andthen——andthenshewouldgotoGeorge,andtheywouldwatchoverthechildandwaitforhimuntilhecametotheminHeaven。
  Sheputonherbonnet,scarcelyknowingwhatshedid,andwentouttowalkinthelanesbywhichGeorgeusedtocomebackfromschool,andwhereshewasinthehabitofgoingonhisreturntomeettheboy。ItwasMay,ahalf-holiday。Theleaveswereallcomingout,theweatherwasbrilliant;theboycamerunningtoherflushedwithhealth,singing,hisbundleofschool-bookshangingbyathong。Therehewas。Bothherarmswereroundhim。No,itwasimpossible。Theycouldnotbegoingtopart。”Whatisthematter,Mother?”saidhe;
  “youlookverypale。”
  “Nothing,mychild。”shesaidandstoopeddownandkissedhim。
  ThatnightAmeliamadetheboyreadthestoryofSamueltoher,andhowHannah,hismother,havingweanedhim,broughthimtoElitheHighPriesttoministerbeforetheLord。AndhereadthesongofgratitudewhichHannahsang,andwhichsays,whoitiswhomakethpoorandmakethrich,andbringethlowandexalteth——howthepoorshallberaisedupoutofthedust,andhow,inhisownmight,nomanshallbestrong。
  ThenhereadhowSamuel’smothermadehimalittlecoatandbroughtittohimfromyeartoyearwhenshecameuptooffertheyearlysacrifice。Andthen,inhersweetsimpleway,George’smothermadecommentariestotheboyuponthisaffectingstory。HowHannah,thoughshelovedhersonsomuch,yetgavehimupbecauseofhervow。Andhowshemustalwayshavethoughtofhimasshesatathome,faraway,makingthelittlecoat;andSamuel,shewassure,neverforgothismother;
  andhowhappyshemusthavebeenasthetimecameandtheyearspassawayveryquickwhensheshouldseeherboyandhowgoodandwisehehadgrown。Thislittlesermonshespokewithagentlesolemnvoice,anddryeyes,untilshecametotheaccountoftheirmeeting——thenthediscoursebrokeoffsuddenly,thetenderheartoverflowed,andtakingtheboytoherbreast,sherockedhiminherarmsandweptsilentlyoverhiminasaintedagonyoftears。
  Hermindbeingmadeup,thewidowbegantotakesuchmeasuresasseemedrighttoherforadvancingtheendwhichsheproposed。Oneday,MissOsborne,inRussellSquareAmeliahadnotwrittenthenameornumberofthehousefortenyears——heryouth,herearlystorycamebacktoherasshewrotethesuperscriptiononedayMissOsbornegotaletterfromAmeliawhichmadeherblushverymuchandlooktowardsherfather,sittinggloominginhisplaceattheotherendofthetable。
  Insimpleterms,Ameliatoldherthereasonswhichhadinducedhertochangehermindrespectingherboy。
  Herfatherhadmetwithfreshmisfortuneswhichhadentirelyruinedhim。HerownpittancewassosmallthatitwouldbarelyenablehertosupportherparentsandwouldnotsufficetogiveGeorgetheadvantageswhichwerehisdue。Greatashersufferingswouldbeatpartingwithhimshewould,byGod’shelp,endurethemfortheboy’ssake。Sheknewthatthosetowhomhewasgoingwoulddoallintheirpowertomakehimhappy。Shedescribedhisdisposition,suchasshefanciedit——quickandimpatientofcontrolorharshness,easilytobemovedbyloveandkindness。Inapostscript,shestipulatedthatsheshouldhaveawrittenagreement,thatsheshouldseethechildasoftenasshewished——shecouldnotpartwithhimunderanyotherterms。
  “What?Mrs。Pridehascomedown,hasshe?”oldOsbornesaid,whenwithatremulouseagervoiceMissOsbornereadhimtheletter。”Reg’larstarvedout,hey?
  Ha,ha!Iknewshewould。”Hetriedtokeephisdignityandtoreadhispaperasusual——buthecouldnotfollowit。Hechuckledandsworetohimselfbehindthesheet。
  Atlastheflungitdownand,scowlingathisdaughter,ashiswontwas,wentoutoftheroomintohisstudyadjoining,fromwhencehepresentlyreturnedwithakey。HeflungittoMissOsborne。
  “Gettheroomovermine——hisroomthatwas——ready。”
  hesaid。”Yes,sir。”hisdaughterrepliedinatremble。
  ItwasGeorge’sroom。Ithadnotbeenopenedformorethantenyears。Someofhisclothes,papers,handkerchiefs,whipsandcaps,fishing-rodsandsportinggear,werestillthere。AnArmylistof1814,withhisnamewrittenonthecover;alittledictionaryhewaswonttouseinwriting;andtheBiblehismotherhadgivenhim,wereonthemantelpiece,withapairofspursandadriedinkstandcoveredwiththedustoftenyears。Ah!
  sincethatinkwaswet,whatdaysandpeoplehadpassedaway!Thewriting-book,stillonthetable,wasblottedwithhishand。
  MissOsbornewasmuchaffectedwhenshefirstenteredthisroomwiththeservantsunderher。Shesankquitepaleonthelittlebed。”Thisisblessednews,m’am——indeed,m’am。”thehousekeepersaid;“andthegoodoldtimesisreturning,m’am。Thedearlittlefeller,tobesure,m’am;howhappyhewillbe!ButsomefolksinMayFair,m’am,willowehimagrudge,m’am“;andsheclickedbacktheboltwhichheldthewindow-sashandlettheairintothechamber。
  “Youhadbettersendthatwomansomemoney。”Mr。
  Osbornesaid,beforehewentout。”Sheshan’twantfornothing。Sendherahundredpound。”
  “AndI’llgoandseeherto-morrow?”MissOsborneasked。
  “That’syourlookout。Shedon’tcomeinhere,mind。
  No,by——,notforallthemoneyinLondon。Butshemustn’twantnow。Solookout,andgetthingsright。”WithwhichbriefspeechesMr。OsbornetookleaveofhisdaughterandwentonhisaccustomedwayintotheCity。
  “Here,Papa,issomemoney。”Ameliasaidthatnight,kissingtheoldman,herfather,andputtingabillforahundredpoundsintohishands。”And——and,Mamma,don’tbeharshwithGeorgy。He——heisnotgoingtostopwithuslong。”Shecouldsaynothingmore,andwalkedawaysilentlytoherroom。Letuscloseituponherprayersandhersorrow。Ithinkwehadbestspeaklittleaboutsomuchloveandgrief。
  MissOsbornecamethenextday,accordingtothepromisecontainedinhernote,andsawAmelia。Themeetingbetweenthemwasfriendly。AlookandafewwordsfromMissOsborneshowedthepoorwidowthat,withregardtothiswomanatleast,thereneedbenofearlestsheshouldtakethefirstplaceinherson’saffection。
  Shewascold,sensible,notunkind。Themotherhadnotbeensowellpleased,perhaps,hadtherivalbeenbetterlooking,younger,moreaffectionate,warmer-
  hearted。MissOsborne,ontheotherhand,thoughtofoldtimesandmemoriesandcouldnotbutbetouchedwiththepoormother’spitifulsituation。Shewasconquered,andlayingdownherarms,asitwere,shehumblysubmitted。Thatdaytheyarrangedtogetherthepreliminariesofthetreatyofcapitulation。
  Georgewaskeptfromschoolthenextday,andsawhisaunt。Amelialeftthemalonetogetherandwenttoherroom。Shewastryingtheseparation——asthatpoorgentleLadyJaneGreyfelttheedgeoftheaxethatwastocomedownandseverherslenderlife。Dayswerepassedinparleys,visits,preparations。ThewidowbrokethemattertoGeorgywithgreatcaution;shelookedtoseehimverymuchaffectedbytheintelligence。Hewasratherelatedthanotherwise,andthepoorwomanturnedsadlyaway。Hebraggedaboutthenewsthatdaytotheboysatschool;toldthemhowhewasgoingtolivewithhisgrandpapahisfather’sfather,nottheonewhocomesheresometimes;andthathewouldbeveryrich,andhaveacarriage,andapony,andgotoamuchfinerschool,andwhenhewasrichhewouldbuyLeader’spencil-caseandpaythetart-woman。Theboywastheimageofhisfather,ashisfondmotherthought。
  IndeedIhavenoheart,onaccountofourdearAmelia’ssake,togothroughthestoryofGeorge’slastdaysathome。