首页 >出版文学> Vanity Fair>第53章

第53章

  S。Whydon’tyouspeak,John?ShallIsayTuesdayfortnight?
  Whydon’tyouanswer?GoodGod,John,whathashappened?”
  JohnSedleysprangupoutofhischairtomeethiswife,whorantohim。Heseizedherinhisarms,andsaidwithahastyvoice,“We’reruined,Mary。We’vegottheworldtobeginoveragain,dear。It’sbestthatyoushouldknowall,andatonce。”Ashespoke,hetrembledineverylimb,andalmostfell。Hethoughtthenewswouldhaveoverpoweredhiswife——hiswife,towhomhehadneversaidahardword。Butitwashethatwasthemostmoved,suddenastheshockwastoher。Whenhesankbackintohisseat,itwasthewifethattooktheofficeofconsoler。Shetookhistremblinghand,andkissedit,andputitroundherneck:shecalledhimherJohn——herdearJohn——heroldman——herkindoldman;shepouredoutahundredwordsofincoherentloveandtenderness;herfaithfulvoiceandsimplecaresseswroughtthissadheartuptoaninexpressibledelightandanguish,andcheeredandsolacedhisover-burdenedsoul。
  Onlyonceinthecourseofthelongnightastheysatetogether,andpoorSedleyopenedhispent-upsoul,andtoldthestoryofhislossesandembarrassments——thetreasonofsomeofhisoldestfriends,themanlykindnessofsome,fromwhomhenevercouldhaveexpectedit——inageneralconfession——onlyoncedidthefaithfulwifegivewaytoemotion。
  “MyGod,myGod,itwillbreakEmmy’sheart。”shesaid。
  Thefatherhadforgottenthepoorgirl。Shewaslying,awakeandunhappy,overhead。Inthemidstoffriends,home,andkindparents,shewasalone。Tohowmanypeoplecananyonetellall?Whowillbeopenwherethereisnosympathy,orhascalltospeaktothosewhonevercanunderstand?OurgentleAmeliawasthussolitary。Shehadnoconfidante,sotospeak,eversinceshehadanythingtoconfide。Shecouldnottelltheoldmotherherdoubtsandcares;thewould-besistersseemedeverydaymorestrangetoher。Andshehadmisgivingsandfearswhichshedarednotacknowledgetoherself,thoughshewasalwayssecretlybroodingoverthem。
  HerhearttriedtopersistinassertingthatGeorgeOsbornewasworthyandfaithfultoher,thoughsheknewotherwise。Howmanyathinghadshesaid,andgotnoechofromhim。Howmanysuspicionsofselfishnessandindifferencehadshetoencounterandobstinatelyovercome。Towhomcouldthepoorlittlemartyrtellthesedailystrugglesandtortures?Herherohimselfonlyhalfunderstoodher。Shedidnotdaretoownthatthemanshelovedwasherinferior;ortofeelthatshehadgivenherheartawaytoosoon。Givenonce,thepurebashfulmaidenwastoomodest,tootender,tootrustful,tooweak,toomuchwomantorecallit。WeareTurkswiththeaffectionsofourwomen;andhavemadethemsubscribetoourdoctrinetoo。Welettheirbodiesgoabroadliberallyenough,withsmilesandringletsandpinkbonnetstodisguisetheminsteadofveilsandyakmaks。Buttheirsoulsmustbeseenbyonlyoneman,andtheyobeynotunwillingly,andconsenttoremainathomeasourslaves——ministeringtousanddoingdrudgeryforus。
  Soimprisonedandtorturedwasthisgentlelittleheart,wheninthemonthofMarch,AnnoDomini1815,NapoleonlandedatCannes,andLouisXVIIIfled,andallEuropewasinalarm,andthefundsfell,andoldJohnSedleywasruined。
  Wearenotgoingtofollowtheworthyoldstockbrokerthroughthoselastpangsandagoniesofruinthroughwhichhepassedbeforehiscommercialdemisebefell。
  TheydeclaredhimattheStockExchange;hewasabsentfromhishouseofbusiness:hisbillswereprotested:
  hisactofbankruptcyformal。ThehouseandfurnitureofRussellSquarewereseizedandsoldup,andheandhisfamilywerethrustaway,aswehaveseen,tohidetheirheadswheretheymight。
  JohnSedleyhadnotthehearttoreviewthedomesticestablishmentwhohaveappearednowandanoninourpagesandofwhomhewasnowforcedbypovertytotakeleave。Thewagesofthoseworthypeopleweredischargedwiththatpunctualitywhichmenfrequentlyshowwhoonlyoweingreatsums——theyweresorrytoleavegoodplaces——buttheydidnotbreaktheirheartsatpartingfromtheiradoredmasterandmistress。Amelia’smaidwasprofuseincondolences,butwentoffquiteresignedtobetterherselfinagenteelerquarterofthetown。BlackSambo,withtheinfatuationofhisprofession,determinedonsettingupapublic-house。HonestoldMrs。Blenkinsopindeed,whohadseenthebirthofJosandAmelia,andthewooingofJohnSedleyandhiswife,wasforstayingbythemwithoutwages,havingamassedaconsiderablesumintheirservice:andsheaccompaniedthefallenpeopleintotheirnewandhumbleplaceofrefuge,whereshetendedthemandgrumbledagainstthemforawhile。
  OfallSedley’sopponentsinhisdebateswithhiscreditorswhichnowensued,andharassedthefeelingsofthehumiliatedoldgentlemansoseverely,thatinsixweeksheoldenedmorethanhehaddoneforfifteenyearsbefore——
  themostdeterminedandobstinateseemedtobeJohnOsborne,hisoldfriendandneighbour——JohnOsborne,whomhehadsetupinlife——whowasunderahundredobligationstohim——andwhosesonwastomarrySedley’sdaughter。AnyoneofthesecircumstanceswouldaccountforthebitternessofOsborne’sopposition。
  Whenonemanhasbeenunderveryremarkableobligationstoanother,withwhomhesubsequentlyquarrels,acommonsenseofdecency,asitwere,makesoftheformeramuchsevererenemythanamerestrangerwouldbe。Toaccountforyourownhard-heartednessandingratitudeinsuchacase,youareboundtoprovetheotherparty’scrime。Itisnotthatyouareselfish,brutal,andangryatthefailureofaspeculation——no,no——itisthatyourpartnerhasledyouintoitbythebasesttreacheryandwiththemostsinistermotives。Fromameresenseofconsistency,apersecutorisboundtoshowthatthefallenmanisavillain——otherwisehe,thepersecutor,isawretchhimself。
  Andasageneralrule,whichmaymakeallcreditorswhoareinclinedtobesevereprettycomfortableintheirminds,nomenembarrassedarealtogetherhonest,verylikely。Theyconcealsomething;theyexaggeratechancesofgoodluck;hideawaytherealstateofaffairs;saythatthingsareflourishingwhentheyarehopeless,keepasmilingfaceadrearysmileitisuponthevergeofbankruptcy——arereadytolayholdofanypretextfordelayorofanymoney,soastostaveofftheinevitableruinafewdayslonger。”Downwithsuchdishonesty。”
  saysthecreditorintriumph,andrevileshissinkingenemy。”Youfool,whydoyoucatchatastraw?”calmgoodsensesaystothemanthatisdrowning。”Youvillain,whydoyoushrinkfromplungingintotheirretrievableGazette?”saysprosperitytothepoordevilbattlinginthatblackgulf。Whohasnotremarkedthereadinesswithwhichtheclosestoffriendsandhonestestofmensuspectandaccuseeachotherofcheatingwhentheyfalloutonmoneymatters?Everybodydoesit。Everybodyisright,Isuppose,andtheworldisarogue。
  ThenOsbornehadtheintolerablesenseofformerbenefitstogoadandirritatehim:thesearealwaysacauseofhostilityaggravated。Finally,hehadtobreakoffthematchbetweenSedley’sdaughterandhisson;andasithadgoneveryfarindeed,andasthepoorgirl’shappinessandperhapscharacterwerecompromised,itwasnecessarytoshowthestrongestreasonsfortherupture,andforJohnOsbornetoproveJohnSedleytobeaverybadcharacterindeed。
  Atthemeetingsofcreditors,then,hecomportedhimselfwithasavagenessandscorntowardsSedley,whichalmostsucceededinbreakingtheheartofthatruinedbankruptman。OnGeorge’sintercoursewithAmeliaheputaninstantveto——menacingtheyouthwithmaledictionsifhebrokehiscommands,andvilipendingthepoorinnocentgirlasthebasestandmostartfulofvixens。
  Oneofthegreatconditionsofangerandhatredis,thatyoumusttellandbelieveliesagainstthehatedobject,inorder,aswesaid,tobeconsistent。
  Whenthegreatcrashcame——theannouncementofruin,andthedeparturefromRussellSquare,andthedeclarationthatallwasoverbetweenherandGeorge——alloverbetweenherandlove,herandhappiness,herandfaithintheworld——abrutalletterfromJohnOsbornetoldherinafewcurtlinesthatherfather’sconducthadbeenofsuchanaturethatallengagementsbetweenthefamilieswereatanend——whenthefinalawardcame,itdidnotshockhersomuchasherparents,ashermotherratherexpectedforJohnSedleyhimselfwasentirelyprostrateintheruinsofhisownaffairsandshatteredhonour。Ameliatookthenewsverypalelyandcalmly。
  Itwasonlytheconfirmationofthedarkpresageswhichhadlonggonebefore。Itwasthemerereadingofthesentence——ofthecrimeshehadlongagobeenguilty——thecrimeoflovingwrongly,tooviolently,againstreason。
  Shetoldnomoreofherthoughtsnowthanshehadbefore。Sheseemedscarcelymoreunhappynowwhenconvincedallhopewasover,thanbeforewhenshefeltbutdarednotconfessthatitwasgone。Soshechangedfromthelargehousetothesmallonewithoutanymarkordifference;remainedinherlittleroomforthemostpart;
  pinedsilently;anddiedawaydaybyday。Idonotmeantosaythatallfemalesareso。MydearMissBullock,I
  donotthinkyourheartwouldbreakinthisway。Youareastrong-mindedyoungwomanwithproperprinciples。
  Idonotventuretosaythatminewould;ithassuffered,and,itmustbeconfessed,survived。Buttherearesomesoulsthusgentlyconstituted,thusfrail,anddelicate,andtender。
  WheneveroldJohnSedleythoughtoftheaffairbetweenGeorgeandAmelia,oralludedtoit,itwaswithbitternessalmostasgreatasMr。Osbornehimselfhadshown。HecursedOsborneandhisfamilyasheartless,wicked,andungrateful。Nopoweronearth,heswore,wouldinducehimtomarryhisdaughtertothesonofsuchavillain,andheorderedEmmytobanishGeorgefromhermind,andtoreturnallthepresentsandletterswhichshehadeverhadfromhim。
  Shepromisedacquiescence,andtriedtoobey。Sheputupthetwoorthreetrinkets:and,asfortheletters,shedrewthemoutoftheplace。whereshekeptthem;andreadthemover——asifshedidnotknowthembyheartalready:butshecouldnotpartwiththem。Thateffortwastoomuchforher;sheplacedthembackinherbosomagain——asyouhaveseenawomannurseachildthatisdead。YoungAmeliafeltthatshewoulddieorlosehersensesoutright,iftornawayfromthislastconsolation。
  Howsheusedtoblushandlightenupwhenthoseletterscame!Howsheusedtotripawaywithabeatingheart,sothatshemightreadunseen!Iftheywerecold,yethowperverselythisfondlittlesoulinterpretedthemintowarmth。Iftheywereshortorselfish,whatexcusesshefoundforthewriter!
  Itwasoverthesefewworthlesspapersthatshebroodedandbrooded。Shelivedinherpastlife——everyletterseemedtorecallsomecircumstanceofit。Howwellsherememberedthemall!Hislooksandtones,hisdress,whathesaidandhow——theserelicsandremembrancesofdeadaffectionwereallthatwereleftherintheworld。
  Andthebusinessofherlife,was——towatchthecorpseofLove。
  Todeathshelookedwithinexpressiblelonging。Then,shethought,Ishallalwaysbeabletofollowhim。IamnotpraisingherconductorsettingherupasamodelforMissBullocktoimitate。MissB。knowshowtoregulateherfeelingsbetterthanthispoorlittlecreature。MissB。
  wouldneverhavecommittedherselfasthatimprudentAmeliahaddone;pledgedherloveirretrievably;
  confessedherheartaway,andgotbacknothing——onlyabrittlepromisewhichwassnaptandworthlessinamoment。Alongengagementisapartnershipwhichonepartyisfreetokeeportobreak,butwhichinvolvesallthecapitaloftheother。
  Becautiousthen,youngladies;bewaryhowyouengage。Beshyoflovingfrankly;nevertellallyoufeel,orabetterwaystill,feelverylittle。Seetheconsequencesofbeingprematurelyhonestandconfiding,andmistrustyourselvesandeverybody。GetyourselvesmarriedastheydoinFrance,wherethelawyersarethebridesmaidsandconfidantes。Atanyrate,neverhaveanyfeelingswhichmaymakeyouuncomfortable,ormakeanypromiseswhichyoucannotatanyrequiredmomentcommandandwithdraw。Thatisthewaytogeton,andberespected,andhaveavirtuouscharacterinVanityFair。
  IfAmeliacouldhaveheardthecommentsregardingherwhichweremadeinthecirclefromwhichherfather’sruinhadjustdrivenher,shewouldhaveseenwhatherowncrimeswere,andhowentirelyhercharacterwasjeopardised。SuchcriminalimprudenceMrs。Smithneverknewof;suchhorridfamiliaritiesMrs。Brownhadalwayscondemned,andtheendmightbeawarningtoHER
  daughters。”CaptainOsborne,ofcourse,couldnotmarryabankrupt’sdaughter。”theMissesDobbinsaid。”Itwasquiteenoughtohavebeenswindledbythefather。AsforthatlittleAmelia,herfollyhadreallypassedall——“
  “Allwhat?”CaptainDobbinroaredout。”Haven’ttheybeenengagedeversincetheywerechildren?Wasn’titasgoodasamarriage?Dareanysoulonearthbreatheawordagainstthesweetest,thepurest,thetenderest,themostangelicalofyoungwomen?”
  “La,William,don’tbesohighty-tightywithUS。We’renotmen。Wecan’tfightyou。”MissJanesaid。”We’vesaidnothingagainstMissSedley:butthatherconductthroughoutwasMOSTIMPRUDENT,nottocallitbyanyworsename;andthatherparentsarepeoplewhocertainlymerittheirmisfortunes。”
  “Hadn’tyoubetter,nowthatMissSedleyisfree,proposeforheryourself,William?”MissAnnaskedsarcastically。”Itwouldbeamosteligiblefamilyconnection。He!he!”