SentimentalandOtherwiseIfearthegentlemantowhomMissAmelia’sletterswereaddressedwasratheranobduratecritic。SuchanumberofnotesfollowedLieutenantOsborneaboutthecountry，thathebecamealmostashamedofthejokesofhismess-roomcompanionsregardingthem，andorderedhisservantnevertodeliverthemexceptathisprivateapartment。
　　Hewasseenlightinghiscigarwithone，tothehorrorofCaptainDobbin，who，itismybelief，wouldhavegivenabank-noteforthedocument。
　　ForsometimeGeorgestrovetokeeptheliaisonasecret。Therewasawomaninthecase，thatheadmitted。
　　“Andnotthefirsteither。”saidEnsignSpooneytoEnsignStubble。”ThatOsborne’sadevilofafellow。Therewasajudge’sdaughteratDemerarawentalmostmadabouthim；thentherewasthatbeautifulquadroongirl，MissPye，atSt。Vincent’s，youknow；andsincehe’sbeenhome，theysayhe’saregularDonGiovanni，byJove。”
　　StubbleandSpooneythoughtthattobea“regularDonGiovanni，byJove“wasoneofthefinestqualitiesamancouldpossess，andOsborne’sreputationwasprodigiousamongsttheyoungmenoftheregiment。Hewasfamousinfield-sports，famousatasong，famousonparade；freewithhismoney，whichwasbountifullysuppliedbyhisfather。Hiscoatswerebettermadethananyman’sintheregiment，andhehadmoreofthem。Hewasadoredbythemen。Hecoulddrinkmorethananyofficerofthewholemess，includingoldHeavytop，thecolonel。HecouldsparbetterthanKnuckles，theprivatewhowouldhavebeenacorporalbutforhisdrunkenness，andwhohadbeenintheprize-ring；andwasthebestbatterandbowler，outandout，oftheregimentalclub。
　　Herodehisownhorse，GreasedLightning，andwontheGarrisoncupatQuebecraces。TherewereotherpeoplebesidesAmeliawhoworshippedhim。StubbleandSpooneythoughthimasortofApollo；DobbintookhimtobeanAdmirableCrichton；andMrs。MajorO’Dowdacknowledgedhewasanelegantyoungfellow，andputherinmindofFitzjurldFogarty，LordCastlefogarty’ssecondson。
　　Well，StubbleandSpooneyandtherestindulgedinmostromanticconjecturesregardingthisfemalecorrespondentofOsborne’s——opiningthatitwasaDuchessinLondonwhowasinlovewithhim——orthatitwasaGeneral’sdaughter，whowasengagedtosomebodyelse，andmadlyattachedtohim——orthatitwasaMemberofParliament’slady，whoproposedfourhorsesandanelopement——orthatitwassomeothervictimofapassiondelightfullyexciting，romantic，anddisgracefultoallparties，onnoneofwhichconjectureswouldOsbornethrowtheleastlight，leavinghisyoungadmirersandfriendstoinventandarrangetheirwholehistory。
　　AndtherealstateofthecasewouldneverhavebeenknownatallintheregimentbutforCaptainDobbin’sindiscretion。TheCaptainwaseatinghisbreakfastonedayinthemess-room，whileCackle，theassistant-surgeon，andthetwoabove-namedworthieswerespeculatinguponOsborne’sintrigue——StubbleholdingoutthattheladywasaDuchessaboutQueenCharlotte’scourt，andCacklevowingshewasanopera-singeroftheworstreputation。
　　AtthisideaDobbinbecamesomoved，thatthoughhismouthwasfullofeggsandbread-and-butteratthetime，andthoughheoughtnottohavespokenatall，yethecouldn’thelpblurtingout，“Cackle，you’reastupidfool。
　　You’realwaystalkingnonsenseandscandal。OsborneisnotgoingtorunoffwithaDuchessorruinamilliner。
　　MissSedleyisoneofthemostcharmingyoungwomenthateverlived。He’sbeenengagedtohereversolong；
　　andthemanwhocallshernameshadbetternotdosoinmyhearing。”Withwhich，turningexceedinglyred，Dobbinceasedspeaking，andalmostchokedhimselfwithacupoftea。Thestorywasovertheregimentinhalf-an-
　　hour；andthatveryeveningMrs。MajorO’DowdwroteofftohersisterGlorvinaatO’DowdstownnottohurryfromDublin——youngOsbornebeingprematurelyengagedalready。
　　ShecomplimentedtheLieutenantinanappropriatespeechoveraglassofwhisky-toddythatevening，andhewenthomeperfectlyfurioustoquarrelwithDobbinwhohaddeclinedMrs。MajorO’Dowd’sparty，andsatinhisownroomplayingtheflute，and，Ibelieve，writingpoetryinaverymelancholymanner——toquarrelwithDobbinforbetrayinghissecret。
　　“Whothedeuceaskedyoutotalkaboutmyaffairs？”
　　Osborneshoutedindignantly。”WhythedevilisalltheregimenttoknowthatIamgoingtobemarried？Whyisthattattlingoldharridan，PeggyO’Dowd，tomakefreewithmynameatherd——dsupper-table，andadvertisemyengagementoverthethreekingdoms？Afterall，whatrighthaveyoutosayIamengaged，ortomeddleinmybusinessatall，Dobbin？”
　　“Itseemstome。”CaptainDobbinbegan。
　　“Seemsbehanged，Dobbin。”hisjuniorinterruptedhim。”Iamunderobligationstoyou，Iknowit，ad——ddealtoowelltoo；butIwon’tbealwayssermonisedbyyoubecauseyou’refiveyearsmysenior。I’mhangedifI’llstandyourairsofsuperiorityandinfernalpityandpatronage。Pityandpatronage！IshouldliketoknowinwhatI’myourinferior？”
　　“Areyouengaged？”CaptainDobbininterposed。
　　“Whatthedevil’sthattoyouoranyonehereifIam？”
　　“Areyouashamedofit？”Dobbinresumed。
　　“Whatrighthaveyoutoaskmethatquestion，sir？I
　　shouldliketoknow。”Georgesaid。
　　“GoodGod，youdon’tmeantosayyouwanttobreakoff？”askedDobbin，startingup。
　　“Inotherwords，youaskmeifI’mamanofhonour。”
　　saidOsborne，fiercely；“isthatwhatyoumean？You’veadoptedsuchatoneregardingmelatelythatI’m——
　　ifI’llbearitanymore。”
　　“WhathaveIdone？I’vetoldyouyouwereneglectingasweetgirl，George。I’vetoldyouthatwhenyougototownyououghttogotoher，andnottothegambling-
　　housesaboutSt。James’s。”
　　“Youwantyourmoneyback，Isuppose。”saidGeorge，withasneer。
　　“OfcourseIdo——Ialwaysdid，didn’tI？”saysDobbin。
　　“Youspeaklikeagenerousfellow。”
　　“No，hangit，William，Ibegyourpardon“——hereGeorgeinterposedinafitofremorse；“youhavebeenmyfriendinahundredways，Heavenknows。You’vegotmeoutofascoreofscrapes。WhenCrawleyoftheGuardswonthatsumofmoneyofmeIshouldhavebeendonebutforyou：IknowIshould。Butyoushouldn’tdealsohardlywithme；youshouldn’tbealwayscatechisingme。
　　IamveryfondofAmelia；Iadoreher，andthatsortofthing。Don’tlookangry。She’sfaultless；Iknowsheis。
　　Butyouseethere’snofuninwinningathingunlessyouplayforit。Hangit：theregiment’sjustbackfromtheWestIndies，Imusthavealittlefling，andthenwhenI’mmarriedI’llreform；Iwilluponmyhonour，now。And——I
　　say——Dob——don’tbeangrywithme，andI’llgiveyouahundrednextmonth，whenIknowmyfatherwillstandsomethinghandsome；andI’llaskHeavytopforleave，andI’llgototown，andseeAmeliato-morrow——therenow，willthatsatisfyyou？”
　　“Itisimpossibletobelongangrywithyou，George。”
　　saidthegood-naturedCaptain；“andasforthemoney，oldboy，youknowifIwantedityou’dshareyourlastshillingwithme。”
　　“ThatIwould，byJove，Dobbin。”Georgesaid，withthegreatestgenerosity，thoughbythewayheneverhadanymoneytospare。
　　“OnlyIwishyouhadsownthosewildoatsofyours，George。IfyoucouldhaveseenpoorlittleMissEmmy’sfacewhensheaskedmeaboutyoutheotherday，youwouldhavepitchedthosebilliard-ballstothedeuce。Goandcomforther，yourascal。Goandwriteheralongletter。Dosomethingtomakeherhappy；averylittlewill。”
　　“Ibelieveshe’sd——dfondofme。”theLieutenantsaid，withaself-satisfiedair；andwentofftofinishtheeveningwithsomejollyfellowsinthemess-room。
　　Ameliameanwhile，inRussellSquare，waslookingatthemoon，whichwasshininguponthatpeacefulspot，aswellasuponthesquareoftheChathambarracks，whereLieutenantOsbornewasquartered，andthinkingtoherselfhowherherowasemployed。Perhapsheisvisitingthesentries，thoughtshe；perhapsheisbivouacking；
　　perhapsheisattendingthecouchofawoundedcomrade，orstudyingtheartofwarupinhisowndesolatechamber。
　　Andherkindthoughtsspedawayasiftheywereangelsandhadwings，andflyingdowntherivertoChathamandRochester，strovetopeepintothebarrackswhereGeorgewas……Allthingsconsidered，Ithinkitwasaswellthegateswereshut，andthesentryallowednoonetopass；sothatthepoorlittlewhite-robedangelcouldnothearthesongsthoseyoungfellowswereroaringoverthewhisky-punch。
　　ThedayafterthelittleconversationatChathambarracks，youngOsborne，toshowthathewouldbeasgoodashisword，preparedtogototown，therebyincurringCaptainDobbin’sapplause。”Ishouldhavelikedtomakeheralittlepresent。”Osbornesaidtohisfriendinconfidence。”onlyIamquiteoutofcashuntilmyfathertipsup。”ButDobbinwouldnotallowthisgoodnatureandgenerositytobebalked，andsoaccommodatedMr。Osbornewithafewpoundnotes，whichthelattertookafteralittlefaintscruple。
　　AndIdaresayhewouldhaveboughtsomethingveryhandsomeforAmelia；only，gettingoffthecoachinFleetStreet，hewasattractedbyahandsomeshirt-pininajeweller’swindow，whichhecouldnotresist；andhavingpaidforthat，hadverylittlemoneytospareforindulginginanyfurtherexerciseofkindness。Nevermind：youmaybesureitwasnothispresentsAmeliawanted。WhenhecametoRussellSquare，herfacelightedupasifhehadbeensunshine。Thelittlecares，fears，tears，timidmisgivings，sleeplessfanciesofIdon’tknowhowmanydaysandnights，wereforgotten，underonemoment’sinfluenceofthatfamiliar，irresistiblesmile。Hebeamedonherfromthedrawing-roomdoor——magnificent，withambrosialwhiskers，likeagod。Sambo，whosefaceasheannouncedCaptainOsbinhavingconferredabrevetrankonthatyoungofficerblazedwithasympatheticgrin，sawthelittlegirlstart，andflush，andjumpupfromherwatching-placeinthewindow；andSamboretreated：andassoonasthedoorwasshut，shewentflutteringtoLieutenantGeorgeOsborne’sheartasifitwastheonlynaturalhomeforhertonestlein。Oh，thoupoorpantinglittlesoul！Theveryfinesttreeinthewholeforest，withthestraighteststem，andthestrongestarms，andthethickestfoliage，whereinyouchoosetobuildandcoo，maybemarked，forwhatyouknow，andmaybedownwithacrasherelong。Whatanold，oldsimilethatis，betweenmanandtimber！
　　Inthemeanwhile，Georgekissedherverykindlyonherforeheadandglisteningeyes，andwasverygraciousandgood；andshethoughthisdiamondshirt-pinwhichshehadnotknownhimtowearbeforetheprettiestornamenteverseen。
　　Theobservantreader，whohasmarkedouryoungLieutenant’spreviousbehaviour，andhaspreservedourreportofthebriefconversationwhichhehasjusthadwithCaptainDobbin，haspossiblycometocertainconclusionsregardingthecharacterofMr。Osborne。SomecynicalFrenchmanhassaidthattherearetwopartiestoalove-transaction：theonewholovesandtheotherwhocondescendstobesotreated。Perhapstheloveisoccasionallyontheman’sside；perhapsonthelady’s。
　　Perhapssomeinfatuatedswainhaserethismistakeninsensibilityformodesty，dulnessformaidenreserve，merevacuityforsweetbashfulness，andagoose，inaword，foraswan。Perhapssomebelovedfemalesubscriberhasarrayedanassinthesplendourandgloryofherimagination；admiredhisdulnessasmanlysimplicity；
　　worshippedhisselfishnessasmanlysuperiority；treatedhisstupidityasmajesticgravity，andusedhimasthebrilliantfairyTitaniadidacertainweaveratAthens。IthinkIhaveseensuchcomediesoferrorsgoingonintheworld。Butthisiscertain，thatAmeliabelievedherlovertobeoneofthemostgallantandbrilliantmenintheempire：anditispossibleLieutenantOsbornethoughtsotoo。
　　Hewasalittlewild：howmanyyoungmenare；anddon’tgirlslikearakebetterthanamilksop？Hehadn’tsownhiswildoatsasyet，buthewouldsoon：andquitthearmynowthatpeacewasproclaimed；theCorsicanmonsterlockedupatElba；promotionbyconsequenceover；andnochanceleftforthedisplayofhisundoubtedmilitarytalentsandvalour：andhisallowance，withAmelia’ssettlement，wouldenablethemtotakeasnugplaceinthecountrysomewhere，inagoodsportingneighbourhood；andhewouldhuntalittle，andfarmalittle；andtheywouldbeveryhappy。Asforremaininginthearmyasamarriedman，thatwasimpossible。
　　FancyMrs。GeorgeOsborneinlodgingsinacountytown；or，worsestill，intheEastorWestIndies，withasocietyofofficers，andpatronizedbyMrs。MajorO’Dowd！
　　AmeliadiedwithlaughingatOsborne’sstoriesaboutMrs。MajorO’Dowd。Helovedhermuchtoofondlytosubjecthertothathorridwomanandhervulgarities，andtheroughtreatmentofasoldier’swife。Hedidn’tcareforhimself——nothe；buthisdearlittlegirlshouldtaketheplaceinsocietytowhich，ashiswife，shewasentitled：andtotheseproposalsyoumaybesuresheacceded，asshewouldtoanyotherfromthesameauthor。
　　Holdingthiskindofconversation，andbuildingnumberlesscastlesintheairwhichAmeliaadornedwithallsortsofflower-gardens，rusticwalks，countrychurches，Sundayschools，andthelike；whileGeorgehadhismind’seyedirectedtothestables，thekennel，andthecellar，thisyoungpairpassedawayacoupleofhoursverypleasantly；andastheLieutenanthadonlythatsingledayintown，andagreatdealofmostimportantbusinesstotransact，itwasproposedthatMissEmmyshoulddinewithherfuturesisters-in-law。Thisinvitationwasacceptedjoyfully。Heconductedhertohissisters；wherehelefthertalkingandprattlinginawaythatastonishedthoseladies，whothoughtthatGeorgemightmakesomethingofher；andhethenwentofftotransacthisbusiness。