Thesethingsweredoneyesterday：Ihavegiventwowholedaystothepreparationforourdeparture，thatFrederickmayhavemoretimetopreparetherooms，andRacheltopackupthethings——forthelattertaskmustbedonewiththeutmostcautionandsecresy，andthereisnoonebutmetoassisther：Icanhelptogetthearticlestogether，butIdonotunderstandtheartofstowingthemintotheboxes，soastotakeupthesmallestpossiblespace；andthereareherownthingstodo，aswellasmineandArthur’s。Icanillaffordtoleaveanythingbehind，sinceIhavenomoney，exceptafewguineasinmypurse；——andbesides，asRachelobserved，whateverIleftwouldmostlikelybecomethepropertyofMissMyers，andIshouldnotrelishthat。
　　ButwhattroubleIhavehadthroughoutthesetwodaysstrugglingtoappearcalmandcollected——tomeethimandherasusual，whenIwasobligedtomeetthem，andforcingmyselftoleavemylittleArthurinherhandsforhourstogether！ButItrustthesetrialsareovernow：Ihavelaidhiminmybedforbettersecurity，andnevermore，Itrust，shallhisinnocentlipsbedefiledbytheircontaminatingkisses，orhisyoungearspollutedbytheirwords。Butshallweescapeinsafety？Oh，thatthemorningwerecome，andwewereonourwayatleast！Thisevening，whenIhadgivenRachelalltheassistanceIcould，andhadnothingleftmebuttowait，andwishandtremble，Ibecamesogreatlyagitated，thatI
　　knewnotwhattodo。Iwentdowntodinner，butIcouldnotforcemyselftoeat。Mr。Huntingdonremarkedthecircumstance。
　　`What’stodowithyounow？’saidhe，whentheremovalofthesecondcoursegavehimtimetolookabouthim。
　　`Iamnotwell，’Ireplied：`IthinkImustliedownalittleyouwon’tmissmemuch？’
　　`Nottheleast；ifyouleaveyourchair，it’lldojustaswell——betteratrifle，’hemutteredasIlefttheroom，`forIcanfancysomebodyelsefillsit。’
　　`Somebodyelsemayfillitto-morrow，’Ithought——butdidnotsay。`There！I’veseenthelastofyou，Ihope，’ImutteredasIclosedthedooruponhim。
　　Rachelurgedmetoseekrepose，atonce，torecruitmystrengthforto-morrow’sjourney，aswemustbegonebeforethedawn，butinmypresentstateofnervousexcitement，thatwasentirelyoutofthequestion。
　　Itwasequallyoutofthequestiontosit，orwanderaboutmyroom，countingthehoursandtheminutesbetweenmeandtheappointedtimeofaction，strainingmyearsandtremblingateverysoundlestsomeoneshoulddiscoverandbetrayusafterall。Itookupabookandtriedtoread。Myeyeswanderedoverthepages，butitwasimpossibletobindmythoughtstotheircontents。
　　Whynothaverecoursetotheoldexpedient，andaddthislasteventtomychronicle？Iopeneditspagesoncemore，andwrotetheaboveaccount——withdifficulty，atfirst，butgraduallymymindbecamemorecalmandsteady。
　　Thusseveralhourshavepastaway：thetimeisdrawingnear；——andnowmyeyesfeelheavy，andmyframeexhausted：IwillcommendmycausetoGod，andthenliedownandgainanhourortwoofsleep；andthen！——
　　LittleArthursleepssoundly。Allthehouseisstill：therecanbenoonewatching。TheboxeswereallcordedbyBenson，andquietlyconveyeddownthebackstairsafterdusk，andsentawayinacarttotheM——coach-office。
　　ThenameuponthecardswasMrs。Graham，whichappellationImeanhenceforthtoadopt。Mymother’smaidennamewasGraham，andthereforeIfancyIhavesomeclaimtoit，andpreferittoanyother，exceptmyown，whichIdarenotresume。
　　TheTenantofWildfellHall：Chapter44CHAPTERXLIVTHERETREATOctober24th——ThankHeaven，Iamfreeandsafeatlast！——Earlywerose，swiftlyandquietlydressed，slowlyandstealthilydescendedtothehall，whereBensonstoodreadywithalighttoopenthedoorandfastenitafterus。Wewereobligedtoletonemanintooursecretonaccountoftheboxes，&；c。Alltheservantswerebuttoowellacquaintedwiththeirmaster’sconduct，andeitherBensonorJohnwouldhavebeenwillingtoserveme，butastheformerwasmorestaidandelderly，andacronyofRachel’sbesides，Iofcoursedirectedhertomakechoiceofhimasherassistantandconfidantontheoccasion，asfarasnecessitydemanded。Ionlyhopehemaynotbebroughtintotroublethereby，andonlywishIcouldrewardhimfortheperilousservicehewassoreadytoundertake。Islippedtwoguineasintohishand，bywayofremembrance，ashestoodinthedoor-way，holdingthecandletolightourdeparture，withatearinhishonestgreyeyeandahostofgoodwishesdepictedonhissolemncountenance。Alas！Icouldoffernomore：Ihadbarelysufficientremainingfortheprobableexpensesofthejourney。
　　Whattremblingjoyitwaswhenthelittlewicketclosedbehindus，asweissuedfromthepark！Then，foronemoment，Ipaused，toinhaleonedraughtofthatcool，bracingair，andventureonelookbackuponthehouse。Allwasdarkandstill；nolightglimmeredinthewindows；nowreathofsmokeobscuredthestarsthatsparkledaboveitinthefrostysky。AsIbadefarewellforevertothatplace，thesceneofsomuchguiltandmisery，IfeltgladthatIhadnotleftitbefore，fornowtherewasnodoubtabouttheproprietyofsuchastep——noshadowofremorseforhimIleftbehind：therewasnothingtodisturbmyjoybutthefearofdetection；
　　andeverystepremovedusfartherfromthechanceofthat。
　　WehadleftGrassdalemanymilesbehindusbeforetheround，redsunarosetowelcomeourdeliverance，andifanyinhabitantofitsvicinityhadchancedtoseeusthen，aswebowledalongonthetopofthecoach，Iscarcelythinktheywouldhavesuspectedouridentity。AsIintendtobetakenforawidowIthoughtitadvisabletoentermynewabodeinmourning：
　　Iwasthereforeattiredinaplainblacksilkdressandmantle，ablackveilwhichIkeptcarefullyovermyfaceforthefirsttwentyorthirtymilesofthejourney，andablacksilkbonnet，whichIhadbeenconstrainedtoborrowofRachelforwantofsuchanarticlemyself——itwasnotinthenewestfashion，ofcourse；butnonetheworseforthat，underpresentcircumstances。
　　Arthurwascladinhisplainestclothes，andwrappedinacoarsewoollenshawl；andRachelwasmuffledinagreycloakandhoodthathadseenbetterdays，andgavehermoretheappearanceofanordinary，thoughdecentoldwoman，thanofalady’smaid。
　　Oh，whatdelightitwastobethusseatedaloft，rumblingalongthebroad，sunshinyroad，withthefreshmorningbreezeinmyface，surroundedbyanunknowncountryallsmiling——cheerfully，gloriously，smilingintheyellowlustreofthoseearlybeams，——withmydarlingchildinmyarms，almostashappyasmyselfandmyfaithfulfriendbesideme；aprisonanddespairbehindme，recedingfarther，fartherbackateveryclatterofthehorses’feet，——andlibertyandhopebefore！IcouldhardlyrefrainfrompraisingGodaloudformydeliverance，orastonishingmyfellowpassengersbysomesurprisingout-burstofhilarity。
　　Butthejourneywasaverylongone，andwewereallwearyenoughbeforethecloseofit。ItwasfarintothenightwhenwereachedthetownofL，andstillweweresevenmilesfromourjourney’send；andtherewasnomorecoaching——oranyconveyancetobehad，exceptacommoncart——andthatwiththegreatestdifficulty，forhalfthetownwasinbed。Andadrearyridewehadofitthatlaststageofthejourney，coldandwearyaswewere；sittingonourboxes，withnothingtoclingto，nothingtoleanagainst，slowlydraggedandcruellyshakenovertherough，hillyroads。
　　ButArthurwasasleepinRachel’slap，andbetweenuswemanagedprettywelltoshieldhimfromthecoldnightair。
　　Atlastwebegantoascendaterriblysteepandstonylanewhich，inspiteofthedarkness，Rachelsaidsherememberedwell：shehadoftenwalkedtherewithmeinherarms，andlittlethoughttocomeagainsomanyyearsafter，undersuchcircumstancesasthepresent。Arthurbeingnowawakenedbythejoltingandthestoppages，weallgotoutandwalked。Wehadnotfartogo；butwhatifFrederickshouldnothavereceivedmyletter？
　　orifheshouldnothavehadtimetopreparetheroomsforourreception；
　　andweshouldfindthemalldark，damp，andcomfortless；destituteoffood，fire，andfurniture，afterallourtoil？
　　Atlengththegrim，darkpileappearedbeforeus。Thelaneconductedusroundbythebackway。Weenteredthedesolatecourt，andinbreathlessanxietysurveyedtheruinousmass。Wasitallblacknessanddesolation？
　　No；onefaintredglimmercheeredusfromawindowwherethelatticewasingoodrepair。Thedoorwasfastened，butafterdueknockingandwaiting，andsomeparleyingwithavoicefromanupperwindow，wewereadmitted，byanoldwomanwhohadbeencommissionedtoairandkeepthehousetillourarrival，——intoatolerablysnuglittleapartment，formerlythesculleryofthemansion，whichFrederickhadnowfittedupasakitchen。Heresheprocuredusalight，rousedthefiretoacheerfulblaze，andsoonpreparedasimplerepastforourrefreshment；whilewedisencumberedourselvesofourtravellinggear，andtookahastysurveyofournewabode。Besidesthekitchenthereweretwobedrooms，agoodsizedparlour，andanothersmallerone，whichIdestinedformystudio，allwellairedandseeminglyingoodrepair，butonlypartlyfurnishedwithafewoldarticles，chieflyofponderousblackoak——theveritableonesthathadbeentherebefore，andwhichhadbeenkeptasantiquarianrelicsinmybrother’spresentresidence，andnowinallhaste，transportedbackagain。
　　TheoldwomanbroughtmysupperandArthur’sintotheparlour，andtoldme，withalldueformality，that`ThemasterdesiredhiscomplimentstoMrs。Graham，andhehadpreparedtheroomsaswellashecoulduponsoshortanotice，buthewoulddohimselfthepleasureofcallinguponherto-morrow，toreceiveherfurthercommands。’
　　Iwasgladtoascendthestern-lookingstonestaircase，andliedowninthegloomyold-fashionedbed，besidemylittleArthur。Hewasasleepinaminute；but，wearyasIwas，myexcitedfeelingsandrestlesscogitationskeptmeawaketilldawnbegantostrugglewiththedarkness；butsleepwassweetandrefreshingwhenitcame，andthewakingwasdelightfulbeyondexpression。ItwaslittleArthurthatrousedme，withhisgentlekisses：——hewashere，then——safelyclaspedinmyarms，andmanyleaguesawayfromhisunworthyfather！——Broaddaylightilluminedtheapartment，forthesunwashighinheaven，thoughobscuredbyrollingmassesofautumnalvapour。
　　Thescene，indeed，wasnotremarkablycheerfulinitself，eitherwithinorwithout。Thelargebareroomwithitsgrimoldfurniture，thenarrow，latticedwindows，revealingthedull，greyskyaboveandthedesolatewildernessbelow，wherethedarkstonewallsandirongate，therankgrowthofgrassandweeds，andthehardyever-greensofpreternaturalforms，aloneremainedtotellthattherehadbeenonceagarden，——andthebleakandbarrenfieldsbeyondmighthavestruckmeasgloomyenoughatanothertime，butnow，eachseparateobjectseemedtoechobackmyownexhilaratingsenseofhopeandfreedom：indefinitedreamsofthefarpastandbrightanticipationsofthefutureseemedtogreetmeateveryturn。Ishouldrejoicewithmoresecurity，tobesure，hadthebroadsearolledbetweenmypresentandmyformerhomes，butsurelyinthislonelyspotImightremainunknown；andthen，Ihadmybrotherheretocheermysolitudewithhisoccasionalvisits。
　　Hecamethatmorning；andIhavehadseveralinterviewswithhimsince；butheisobligedtobeverycautiouswhenandhowhecomes：notevenhisservants，orhisbestfriendsmustknowofhisvisitstoWildfell——exceptonsuchoccasionsasalandlordmightbeexpectedtocalluponastrangertenant——lestsuspicionshouldbeexcitedagainstme，whetherofthetruthorofsomeslanderousfalsehood。
　　Ihavenowbeenherenearlyafortnight，andbutforonedisturbingcare，thehauntingdreadofdiscovery，Iamcomfortablysettledinmynewhome：Frederickhassuppliedmewithallrequisitefurnitureandpaintingmaterials：Rachelhassoldmostofmyclothesforme，inadistanttown，andprocuredmeawardrobemoresuitabletomypresentposition：Ihaveasecondhandpiano，andatolerablywell-stockedbookcaseinmyparlour；
　　andmyotherroomhasassumedquiteaprofessional，business-likeappearancealready。Iamworkinghardtorepaymybrotherforallhisexpensesonmyaccount；notthatthereistheslightestnecessityforanythingofthekind，butitpleasesmetodoso：Ishallhavesomuchmorepleasureinmylabour，myearnings，myfrugalfare，andhouseholdeconomy，whenIknowthatIampayingmywayhonestly，andthatwhatlittleIpossessislegitimatelyallmyown；andthatnoonesuffersformyfolly——inapecuniarywayatleast——IshallmakehimtakethelastpennyIowehim，ifIcanpossiblyeffectitwithoutoffendinghimtoodeeply。Ihaveafewpicturesalreadydone，forItoldRacheltopackupallIhad；andsheexecutedhercommissionbuttoowell，foramongtherest，sheputupaportraitofMr。HuntingdonthatIhadpaintedinthefirstyearofmymarriage。Itstruckmewithdismay，atthemoment，whenItookitfromtheboxandbeheldthoseeyesfixeduponmeintheirmockingmirth，asifexulting，still，inhispowertocontrolmyfate，andderidingmyeffortstoescape。