`BecauseyouaresosuperiortohimIneveryway，andthere’ssomethingsobold——andreckless——abouthim——so，Idon’tknowhow——butI
　　alwaysfeelawishtogetoutofhisway，whenIseehimapproach。’
　　`Youaretimid’Milicent，butthat’snofaultofhis。’
　　`Andthenhislook，’continuedshe。`Peoplesayhe’shandsome，andofcourseheis，butIdon’tlikethatkindofbeauty；andIwonderthatyoushould。’
　　`Whyso，pray？’
　　`Well，youknow，Ithinkthere’snothingnobleorloftyinhisappearance。’
　　`Infact，youwonderthatIcanlikeanyonesounlikethestiltedheroesofromance？Well！givememyfleshandbloodlover，andI’llleavealltheSirHerbertsandValentinestoyou——Ifyoucanfindthem。’
　　`Idon’twantthem，’saidshe。`I’llbesatIsfiedwithfleshandbloodtoo——onlythespiritmustshinethroughandpredominate。Butdon’tyouthinkMrHuntingdon’sfaceistoored？’
　　`No！’criedI，indignantly。`Itisnotredatall。Thereisjustapleasantglow——ahealthyfreshnessinhiscomplexion，thewarm，pinkytintofthewholeharmonizingwiththedeepercolourofthecheeks，exactlyasitoughttodo。Ihateamantoberedandwhite，likeapainteddoll——orallsicklywhite，orsmokyblack，orcadaverousyellow！’
　　`Well，tastesdiffer——butIlikepaleordark，’repliedshe。`But，totellyouthetruth，Helen，Ihadbeendeludingmyselfwiththehopethatyouwouldonedaybemysister。IexpectedWalterwouldbeintroducedtoyounextseason；andIthoughtyouwouldlikehim，andwascertainhewouldlikeyou；andIflatteredmyselfIshouldthushavethefelicityofseeingthetwopersonsIlikebestintheworld——exceptmamma——unitedinone。Hemayn’tbeexactlywhatyouwouldcallhandsome，buthe’sfarmoredistinguishedlooking，andnicerandbetterthanMrHuntingdon；——andI’msureyouwouldsayso，ifyouknew’
　　`Impossible，Milicent！Youthinkso，becauseyou’rehissister；
　　and，onthataccount，I’llforgiveyou；butnobodyelseshouldsodisparageArthurHuntingdontomewithimpunity。’
　　MissWilmotexpressedherfeelingsonthesubject，almostasopenly。
　　`Andso，Helen，’saidshe，cominguptomewithasmileofnoamiableimport，`youaretobeMrsHuntingdon，Isuppose？’
　　`Yes，’repliedI。`Don’tyouenvyme？’
　　`Oh，dear，no！’sheexclaimed。`IshallprobablybeLadyLowboroughsomeday，andthenyouknow，dear，IshallbeInacapacitytoenquire，“Don’tyouenvyme？”’
　　`Henceforth，Ishallenvynoone，’returnedI。
　　`Indeed！Areyousohappythen？’saidshe，thoughtfully；andsomethingverylikeacloudofdisappointmentshadowedherface。`Anddoesheloveyou——Imean，doesheidolizeyouasmuchasyoudohim？’sheadded，fixinghereyesuponmewithill-disguisedanxietyforthereply。
　　`Idon’twanttobeidolized，’Ianswered，`butIamwellassuredthathelovesmemorethananybodyelseintheworld——asIdohim。’
　　`Exactly，’saidshe，withanod。`Iwish——’，shepaused。
　　`Whatdoyouwish？’askedI，annoyedatthevindictiveexpressionofhercountenance，`Iwish，’returnedshe，withashortlaugh，`thatalltheattractivepointsanddesirablequalificationsofthetwogentlemenwere`unitedInone——thatLordLowboroughhadHuntingdon’shandsomefaceandgoodtemper，andallhiswit，andmirth，andcharm，orelsethatHuntingdonhadLowborough’spedigree，andtitle，anddelightfuloldfamilyseat，andIhadhim；andyoumighthavetheotherandwelcome。’
　　Thankyou，dearAnnabella，Iambettersatisfiedwiththingsastheyare，formyownpart；andforyou，Iwishyouwereaswellcontentwithyourintended，asIamwithmine，’saidI；anditwastrueenough；
　　for，thoughvexedatfirstathe，unamiablespirit，herfranknesstouchedme，andthecontrastbetweenoursituationswassuch，thatIcouldwellaffordtopityherandwishherwell。
　　MrHuntingdon’sacquaintancesappeartobenobetterpleasedwithourapproachingunionthanmine。Thismorning’spostbroughthimlettersfromseveralofhisfriends，duringtheperusalofwhich，atthebreakfast。table，heexcitedtheattentionofthecompanybythesingularvarietyofhisgrimaces。Buthecrushedthemallintohispocket，withaprivatelaugh，andsaidnothingtillthemealwasconcluded。Then，whilethecompanywerehangingoverthefireorloiteringthroughtheroom，previoustosettlingtotheirvariousmorning’savocations，hecameandleantoverthebackofmychair，withhisfaceincontactwithmycurls，andcommencingwithaquietlittlekiss，pouredforththefollowingcomplaintsintomyear——
　　`Helen，youwitch，doyouknowthatyou’veentaileduponmethecursesofallmyfriends？Iwrote`tothemtheothersday，totellthemofmyhappyprospects，andnow，insteadofabundleofcongratulations，I’vegotapocketfulofbitterexecrationsandreproaches。There’snotonekindwishforme，oronegoodwordforyouamongthemall。Theysaythere’llbenomorefunnow，nomoremerrydaysandgloriousnights——andallmyfault——Iamthefirsttobreakupthejovialband，andothers，inpuredespair，willfollowmyexample。Iwastheverylifeandpropofthecommunity，theydomethehonourtosay，andIhaveshamefullybetrayedmytrust——’
　　`Youmayjointhemagain，Ifyoulike，’saidI，somewhatpiquedatthesorrowfultoneofhisdiscourse。`Ishouldbesorrytostandbetweenanyman——orbodyofmen——andsomuchhappiness；andperhapsIcanmanagetodowithoutyou，aswellasyourpoordesertedfriends，’
　　`Blessyou！no，’murmuredhe，`It’s“allforloveortheworldwelllost。”withme。Letthemgoto——wheretheybelong，tospeakpolitely，ButIfyousawbowtheyabuseme，Helen，youwouldlovemeallthemore，forhavingventuredsomuchforyoursake。’
　　HepulledoutIriscrumpledletters，Ithoughthewasgoingtoshowthemtome，andtoldhimIdidnotwishtoseethem。
　　`I’mnotgoingtoshowthemtoyou，love，’saidhe。`They’rehardlyfitforalady’seyes——themostpartofthem。Butlookhere。ThisisGrimsby’sscrawl——onlythreelines，thesulkydog！Hedoesn’tsaymuch，tobesure，buthisverysilenceimpliesmorethanalltheothers’words，andthelesshesays，themorehethinks——G——d——nhim！——Ibegyourpardon，dearest——andthisisHargrave’smissive，Heisparticularlygrievedatme，because，forsooth，hehadfalleninlovewithyoufromhissister’sreports，andmeanttohavemarriedyouhimself，assoonashehadsownhiswildoats。’
　　`I’mvastlyobligedtohim，’observedI。
　　`AndsoamI，’saidhe。`Andlookatthis。ThisisHattersley’s——everystuffedfullofrailingaccusations，bittercurses，andlamentablecomplaints，endingupwithswearingthathe’llgetmarriedhimselfinrevenge：
　　he’llthrowhimselfawayonthefirstoldmaidthatchoosestosethercapathim，——asIfIcaredwhathedidwithhimself。’
　　`Well，’saidI，`Ifyoudogiveupyourintimacywiththesemen，Idon’tthinkyouwillhavemuchcausetoregretthelossoftheirsociety；
　　forit’smybelieftheyneverdidyoumuchgood。’
　　`Maybenot；butwe’damerrytimeofit，too，thoughmingledwithsorrowandpain，asLowboroughknowstohiscost——Ha，ha！’andwhilehewaslaughingattherecollectionofLowborough’stroubles，myunclecameandclappedhimontheshoulder。
　　`Come，mylad！’saidhe。`Areyoutoobusymakinglovetomyniecetomakewarwiththepheasants？——FirstofOctober，remember！——Sunshinesout——rainceasedevenBoarham’snotafraidtoventureinhiswaterproofboots；andWilmotandIaregoingtobeatyouall。Ideclare，weold’unsarethekeenestsportsmenofthelot！’
　　`I’llshowyouwhatIcandotoday，however，’saidmycompanion。
　　`I’llmurderyourbirdsbywholesale，justforkeepingmeawayfrombettercompanythaneitheryouorthem。’
　　Andsosayinghedeparted；andIsawnomoreofhimtilldinner。
　　Itseemedawearytime：IwonderwhatIshalldowithouthim。
　　Itisverytruethatthethreeeldergentlemenhadprovedthemselvesmuchkeenersportsmenthanthetwoyoungerones；forbothLordLowboroughandArthurHuntingdonhave，oflate，almostdailyneglectedtheshootingexcursionstoaccompanyusinourvariousridesandrambles，Butthesemerrytimesarefastdrawingtoaclose。Inlessthanafortnightthepartybreaksup，muchtomysorrow，foreverydayIenjoyitmoreandmore——nowthatMessrsBoarhamandWilmothaveceasedtoteaseme，andmyaunthasceasedtolectureme，andIhaveceasedtobejealousofAnnabella——andeventodislikeher——andnowthatMrHuntingdonisbecomemyArthur，andImayenjoyIrissocietywithoutrestraint——WhatshallIdowithouthim，Irepeat？
　　TheTenantofWildfellHall：Chapter22CHAPTER22TraitsofFriendshipOCTOBER5th——Mycupofsweetsisnotunmingled：itisdashedwithabitternessthatIcannothidefrommyself，disguiseitasIwill。Imaytrytopersuademyselfthatthesweetnessoverpowersit；Imaycallitapleasantaromaticflavour；but，saywhatIwill，itisstillthere，andIcannotbuttasteit。IcannotshutmyeyestoArthur’sfaults；andthemoreIlovehimthemoretheytroubleme。Hisveryheart，thatItrustedso，is，Ifear，lesswarmandgenerousthanIthoughtit。Atleast，hegavemeaspecimenofhischaracterto-day，thatseemedtomeritahardernamethanthoughtlessness。
　　HeandLordLowboroughwereaccompanyingAnnabellaandmeinalong，delightfulride；hewasridingbymyside，asusual，andAnnabellaandLordLowboroughwerealittlebeforeus，thelatterbendingtowardshiscompanionasifintenderandconfidentialdiscourse。
　　`Thosetwowillgetthestartofus，Helen，ifwedon’tlooksharp，’
　　observedHuntingdon。`They’llmakeamatchofit，assureascanbe。ThatLowborough’sfairlybesotted。Buthe’llfindhimselfinafixwhenhe’sgother，Idoubt。’
　　`Andshe’llfindherselfinafixwhenshe’sgothim，’
　　saidI，`ifwhatIhaveheardofhimistrue。’
　　`Notabitofit。Sheknowswhatshe’sabout；buthe，poorfool，deludeshimselfwiththenotionthatshe’llmakehimagoodwife，andbecauseshehasamusedhimwithsomerodomontadeaboutdespisingrankandwealthinmattersofloveandmarriage，heflattershimselfthatshe’sdevotedlyattachedtohim；thatshewillnotrefusehimforhispoverty，anddoesnotcourthimforhisrank，butloveshimforhimselfalone。
　　`Butisnothecourtingherforherfortune？’
　　`No，nothe。Thatwasthefirstattraction，certainly；butnow，hehasquitelostsightofit：itneverentershiscalculations，exceptmerelyasanessentialwithoutwhich，forthelady’sownsake，hecouldnotthinkofmarryingher。No；he’sfairlyinlove。Hethoughthenevercouldbeagain，buthe’sinforitoncemore。Hewastohavebeenmarriedbefore，sometwoorthreeyearsago；buthelosthisbridebylosinghisfortune。HegotintoabadwayamongusinLondon：hehadanunfortunatetasteforgambling；andsurelythefellowwasbornunderanunluckystar，forhealwayslostthricewherehegainedonce。That’samodeofselftormentIneverwasmuchaddictedto；whenIspendmymoneyIliketoenjoythefullvalueofit：Iseenofuninwastingitonthievesandblacklegs；
　　andasforgainingmoney，hithertoIhavealwayshadsufficient；
　　it’stimeenoughtobeclutchingformore，Ithink，whenyoubegintoseetheendofwhatyouhave。ButIhavesometimesfrequentedthegaminghousesjusttowatchtheongoingsofthosemadvotariesofchance——averyinterestingstudy，Iassureyou，Helen，andsometimesverydiverting：I’vehadmanyalaughattheboobiesandbedlamites。Lowboroughwasquiteinfatuated——notwillingly，butofnecessity，——hewasalwaysresolvingtogiveitup，andalwaysbreakinghisresolutions。Everyventurewasthe`justoncemore’：
　　ifhegainedalittle，hehopedtogainalittlemorenexttime，andifhelost，itwouldnotdotoleaveoffatthatjuncture；hemustgoontillhehadretrievedthatlastmisfortune，atleast：badluckcouldnotlastforever；andeveryluckyhitwaslookeduponasthedawnofbettertimes，tillexperienceprovedthecontrary。Atlengthhegrewdesperate，andweweredailyonthelook-outforacaseoffelo-de-se——nogreatmatter，someofuswhispered，ashisexistencehadceasedtobeanacquisitiontoourclub。Atlast，however，hecametoacheck。Hemadealargestakewhichhedeterminedshouldbethelast，whetherbelostorwon。Hehadoftensodeterminedbefore，tobesure，andasoftenbrokenhisdetermination；
　　andsoitwasthistime。Helost；andwhilehisantagonistsmilingysweptawaythestakes，he，turningchalkywhite，drewbackinsilenceandwipedhisforehead。Iwaspresentatthetime；andwhilehestoodwithfoldedarmsandeyesfixedontheground，Iknewwellenoughwhatwaspassinginhismind。
　　`Isittobethelast，Lowborough？’saidI，steppinguptohim。
　　`ThelastbutONE，’heanswered，withagrimsmile；andthen，rushingbacktothetable，hestruckhishanduponit，andraisinghisvoicehighabovealltheconfusionofjinglingcoinsandmutteredoathsandcursesintheroom，hesworeadeepandsolemnoaththat，comewhatwould，THIStrialshouldbethelast，andimprecatedunspeakablecursesonhishead，ifeverheshouldshuffleacardorrattleadiceboxagain。Hethendoubledhisformerstake，andchallengedanyonepresenttoplayagainsthim。Grimsbyinstantlypresentedhimself。Lowboroughglaredfiercelyathim，forGrimsbywasalmostascelebratedforhisluckashewasforhisill-fortune。However，theyfelltowork。ButGrimsbyhadmuchskillandlittlescruple，andwhetherhetookadvantageoftheother’strembling，blindedeagernesstodealunfairlybyhim，Icannotundertaketosay；butLowboroughlostagain，andfelldeadsick。