Weweredistinguishedundertherosebythenoticeofotherandgreatermen。ThereweredayswhenJimworeanairofunusualcapacityandresolve，spokewithmorebrevitylikeonepressedfortime，andtookoftenonhistonguesuchphrasesas“Longhursttoldmesothismorning。”or“IhaditstraightfromLonghursthimself。”Itwasnowonder，Iusedtothink，thatPinkertonwascalledtocouncilwithsuchTitans；forthecreature’squicknessandresourcewerebeyondpraise。Intheearlydayswhenheconsultedmewithoutreserve，pacingtheroom，projecting，ciphering，extendinghypotheticalinterests，treblingimaginarycapital，his“engine“torenewanexcellentoldwordlabouringfullsteamahead，Icouldneverdecidewhethermysenseofrespectorentertainmentwerethestronger。
　　Butthesegoodhoursweredestinedtocurtailment。
　　“Yes，it’ssmartenough。”Ionceobserved。“But，Pinkerton，doyouthinkit’shonest？”
　　“Youdon’tthinkit’shonest！”hewailed。“Odearme，thateverI
　　shouldhaveheardsuchanexpressiononyourlips！”
　　Atsightofhisdistress，IplagiarisedunblushinglyfromMyner。
　　“YouseemtothinkhonestyassimpleasBlindMan’sBuff。”
　　saidI。“It’samoredelicateaffairthanthat：delicateasanyart。”
　　“Owell！atthatrate！”heexclaimed，withcompleterelief。
　　“That’scasuistry。”
　　“Iamperfectlycertainofonething：thatwhatyouproposeisdishonest。”Ireturned。
　　“Well，saynomoreaboutit。That’ssettled。”hereplied。
　　Thus，almostataword，mypointwascarried。Butthetroublewasthatsuchdifferencescontinuedtorecur，untilwebegantoregardeachotherwithalarm。IftherewereonethingPinkertonvaluedhimselfupon，itwashishonesty；iftherewereonethingheclungto，itwasmygoodopinion；andwhenbothwereinvolved，aswasthecaseinthesecommercialcruces，themanwasontherack。Myownposition，ifyouconsiderhowmuchI
　　owedhim，howhatefulisthetradeoffault-finder，andthatyetI
　　livedandfattenedonthesequestionableoperations，wasperhapsequallydistressing。IfIhadbeenmoresterlingormorecombativethingsmighthavegoneextremelyfar。But，intruth，Iwasjustbaseenoughtoprofitbywhatwasnotforcedonmyattention，ratherthanseekscenes：Pinkertonquitecunningenoughtoavailhimselfofmyweakness；anditwasarelieftobothwhenhebegantoinvolvehisproceedingsinadecentmystery。
　　Ourlastdispute，whichhadamostunlooked-forconsequence，turnedontherefittingofcondemnedships。Hehadboughtamiserablehulk，andcame，rubbinghishands，toinformmeshewasalreadyontheslip，underanewname，toberepaired。
　　WhenfirstIhadheardofthisindustryIsupposeIscarcelycomprehended；butmuchdiscussionhadsharpenedmyfaculties，andnowmybrowbecameheavy。
　　“Icanbenopartytothat，Pinkerton。”saidI。
　　Heleapedlikeamanshot。“Whatnext？”hecried。“Whatailsyou，anyway？Youseemtometodislikeeverythingthat’sprofitable。”
　　“ThisshiphasbeencondemnedbyLloyd’sagent。”saidI。
　　“ButItellyouit’sadeal。Theship’sinsplendidcondition；
　　there’snexttonothingwrongwithherbutthegarboardstreakandthesternpost。ItellyouLloyd’sisaringlikeeverybodyelse；onlyit’sanEnglishring，andthat’swhatdeceivesyou。IfitwasAmerican，youwouldbecryingitdownallday。It’sAnglomania，commonAnglomania。”hecried，withgrowingirritation。
　　“Iwillnotmakemoneybyriskingmen’slives。”wasmyultimatum。
　　“GreatCaesar！isn’tallspeculationarisk？Isn’tthefairestkindofshipowningtoriskmen’slives？Andmining——how’sthatforrisk？Andlookattheelevatorbusiness——there’sdanger，ifyoulike！Didn’tItakemyriskwhenIboughther？Shemighthavebeentoofargone；andwherewouldIhavebeen？Loudon。”hecried，“Itellyouthetruth：you’retoofullofrefinementforthisworld！”
　　“Icondemnyououtofyourownlips。”Ireplied。“’Thefairestkindofshipowning，’saysyou。Ifyouplease，letusonlydothefairestkindofbusiness。”
　　Theshottold；theIrrepressiblewassilenced；andIprofitedbythechancetopourinabroadsideofanothersort。Hewasallsunkinmoney-getting，Ipointedout；heneverdreamedofanythingbutdollars。Wherewereallhisgenerous，progressivesentiments？Wherewashisculture？Iasked。AndwherewastheAmericanType？
　　“It’strue，Loudon。”hecried，stridingupanddowntheroom，andwildlyscouringathishair。“You’reperfectlyright。I’mbecomingmaterialised。O，whatathingtohavetosay，whataconfessiontomake！Materialised！Me！Loudon，thismustgoonnolonger。You’vebeenaloyalfriendtomeoncemore；givemeyourhand！——you’vesavedmeagain。Imustdosomethingtorousethespiritualside；somethingdesperate；studysomething，somethingdryandtough。Whatshallitbe？Theology？
　　Algebra？What’sAlgebra？”
　　“It’sdryandtoughenough。”saidI；“asquared2abbsquared。”
　　“It’sstimulating，though？”heinquired。
　　ItoldhimIbelievedso，andthatitwasconsideredfortifyingtoTypes。
　　“Thenthat’sthethingforme。I’llstudyAlgebra。”heconcluded。
　　Thenextday，byapplicationtooneofhistype-writingwomen，hegotwordofayounglady，oneMissMamieMcBride，whowaswillingandabletoconducthiminthesebloomlessmeadows；and，hercircumstancesbeinglean，andtermsconsequentlymoderate，heandMamieweresooninagreementfortwolessonsintheweek。Hetookfirewithunexampledrapidity；heseemedunabletotearhimselfawayfromthesymbolicart；anhour’slessonoccupiedthewholeevening；andtheoriginaltwowassoonincreasedtofour，andthentofive。I
　　badehimbewareoffemaleblandishments。“Thefirstthingyouknow，you’llbefallinginlovewiththealgebraist。”saidI。
　　“Don’tsayiteveninjest。”hecried。“She’saladyIrevere。I
　　couldnomorelayahanduponherthanIcoulduponaspirit。
　　Loudon，Idon’tbelieveGodevermadeapurer-mindedwoman。”
　　Whichappearedtometooferventtobereassuring。
　　MeanwhileIhadbeenlongexpostulatingwithmyfrienduponadifferentmatter。“I’mthefifthwheel。”Ikepttellinghim。
　　“ForanyuseIam，ImightaswellbeinSenegambia。Thelettersyougivemetoattendtomightbeansweredbyasuckingchild。AndItellyouwhatitis，Pinkerton：eitheryou’vegottofindmesomeemployment，orI’llhavetostartinandfinditformyself。”
　　ThisIsaidwithacornerofmyeyeintheusualquarter，towardthearts，littledreamingwhatdestinywastoprovide。
　　“I’vegotit，Loudon。”Pinkertonatlastreplied。“GottheideaonthePotrerocars。FoundIhadn’tapencil，borrowedonefromtheconductor，andfiguredonitroughlyallthewayintown。I
　　sawitwasthethingatlast；givesyouarealshow。Allyourtalentsandaccomplishmentscomein。Here’sasketchadvertisement。Justrunyoureyeoverit。“Sun，Ozone，andMusic！PINKERTON’SHEBDOMADARYPICNICS！”
　　That’sagood，catchingphrase，“hebdomadary。”thoughit’shardtosay。ImadeanoteofitwhenIwaslookinginthedictionaryhowtospellhectagonal。’Well，you’reabossword，’
　　Isaid。’Beforeyou’reverymucholder，I’llhaveyouintypeaslongasyourself。’Andhereitis，yousee。’Fivedollarsahead，andladiesfree。MONSTEROLIOOFATTRACTIONS。’
　　Howdoesthatstrikeyou？’Freeluncheonunderthegreenwoodtree。Danceontheelasticsward。HomeagainintheBrightEveningHours。ManagerandHonorarySteward，H。
　　LoudonDodd，Esq。，thewell-knownconnoisseur。’“
　　SingularhowamanrunsfromScyllatoCharybdis！IwassointentonsecuringthedisappearanceofasingleepithetthatI
　　acceptedtherestoftheadvertisementandallthatitinvolvedwithoutdiscussion。Soitbefellthatthewords“well-knownconnoisseur“weredeleted；butthatH。LoudonDoddbecamemanagerandhonorarystewardofPinkerton’sHebdomadaryPicnics，soonshortened，bypopularconsent，totheDromedary。
　　Byeighto’clock，anySundaymorning，Iwastobeobservedbyanadmiringpubliconthewharf。Thegarbandattributesofsacrificeconsistedofablackfrockcoat，rosetted，itspocketsbulgingwithsweetmeatsandinferiorcigars，trousersoflightblue，asilkhatlikeareflector，andavarnishedwand。A
　　goodlysteamerguardedmyoneflank，pantingandthrobbing，flagsflutteringforeandaftofher，illustrativeoftheDromedaryandpatriotism。Myotherflankwascoveredbytheticket-
　　office，stronglyheldbyatrustycharacteroftheScotspersuasion，rosettedlikehissuperiorandsmokingacigartomarktheoccasionfestive。Athalf-past，havingassuredmyselfthatallwaswellwiththefreeluncheons，Ilitacigarmyself，andawaitedthestrainsofthe“PioneerBand。”Ihadnevertowaitlong——theywereGermanandpunctual——andbyafewminutesafterthehalf-hour，Iwouldhearthemboomingdownstreetwithalongmilitaryrollofdrums，somescoreofgratuitousassesprancingattheheadinbearskinhatsandbuckskinaprons，andconspicuouswithresplendentaxes。Theband，ofcourse，wepaidfor；butsostrongistheSanFranciscanpassionforpublicmasquerade，thattheassesasI
　　saywereallgratuitous，prancedfortheloveofit，andcostusnothingbuttheirluncheon。
　　Themusiciansformedupinthebowsofmysteamer，andstruckintoaskittishpolka；theassesmountedguarduponthegangwayandtheticket-office；andpresentlyafter，infamilypartiesoffather，mother，andchildren，intheformofduplicateloversorinthatofsolitaryyouth，thepublicbegantodescenduponusbythecarfulatatime；fourtosixhundredperhaps，withastrongGermanflavour，andallmerryaschildren。Whenthesehadbeenshepherdedonboard，andtheinevitablebelatedtwoorthreehadgainedthedeckamidstthecheeringofthepublic，thehawserwascastoff，andweplungedintothebay。
　　Andnowbeholdthehonorarystewardinhourofdutyandglory；seemecirculateamidcrowd，radiatingaffabilityandlaughter，liberalwithmysweetmeatsandcigars。Isayunblushingthingstohobbledehoygirls，tellshyyoungpersonsthisisthemarriedpeople’sboat，roguishlyasktheabstractediftheyarethinkingoftheirsweethearts，offerPaterfamiliasacigar，amstruckwiththebeautyandgrowcuriousabouttheageofmamma’syoungestwhoIassurehergailywillbeamanbeforehismother；orperhapsitmayoccurtome，fromthesensibleexpressionofherface，thatsheisapersonofgoodcounsel，andIaskherearnestlyifsheknowsanyparticularlypleasantplaceontheSaucelitoorSanRafaelcoast，forthesceneofourpicnicisalwayssupposedtobeuncertain。ThenextmomentIambackatmygiddybadinagewiththeyoungladies，wakeninglaughterasIgo，andleavinginmywakeapplausivecommentsof“Isn’tMr。Doddafunnygentleman？”
　　and“O，Ithinkhe’sjusttoonice！”
　　Anhourhavingpassedinthisairymanner，Istartuponmyroundsafresh，withabagfullofcolouredtickets，allwithpinsattached，andallwithlegibleinscriptions：“OldGermany。”
　　“California。”“TrueLove。”“OldFogies。”“LaBelleFrance。”
　　“GreenErin。”“TheLandofCakes。”“Washington。”“BlueJay。”
　　“RobinRed-Breast。”——twentyofeachdenomination；forwhenitcomestotheluncheon，wesitdownbytwenties。Thesearedistributedwithanxioustact——for，indeed，thisisthemostdelicatepartofmyfunctions——butoutwardlywithrecklessunconcern，amidstthegayestflutterandconfusion；andareimmediatelyaftersporteduponhatsandbonnets，totheextremediffusionofcordiality，totalstrangershailingeachotherby“thenumberoftheirmess“——sowehumorouslynameit——andthedeckringingwithcriesof，“Here，allBlueJaystotherescue！”or，“Isay，amIaloneinthisblame’ship？Ain’ttherenomoreCalifornians？”