Thistaleisajustifiableexception。
Onceineveryfiveyears，asyouknow，weindentforanewViceroy；
andeachViceroyimports，withtherestofhisbaggage，aPrivateSecretary，whomayormaynotbetherealViceroy，justasFateordainsFatelooksaftertheIndianEmpirebecauseitissobigandsohelpless。
TherewasaViceroyonce，whobroughtoutwithhimaturbulentPrivateSecretary——ahardmanwithasoftmannerandamorbidpassionforworkThisSecretarywascalledWonder——JohnFennilWonderTheViceroypossessednoname——nothingbutastringofcountiesandtwo-thirdsofthealphabetafterthemHesaid，inconfidence，thathewastheelectro-platedfigureheadofagoldenadministration，andhewatchedinadreamy，amusedwayWonder’sattemptstodrawmatterswhichwereentirelyoutsidehisprovinceintohisownhands“Whenweareallcherubimstogether。”saidHisExcellencyonce，mydear，goodfriendWonderwillheadtheconspiracyforpluckingoutGabriel’stail-feathersorstealingPeter’skeysTHENIshallreporthim。”
But，thoughtheViceroydidnothingtocheckWonder’sofficiousness，otherpeoplesaidunpleasantthingsMaybetheMembersofCouncilbeganit；but，finally，allSimlaagreedthattherewas“toomuchWonder，andtoolittleViceroy。”inthatregimeWonderwasalwaysquoting“HisExcellency。”Itwas“HisExcellencythis。”“HisExcellencythat。”“IntheopinionofHisExcellency。”andsoonTheViceroysmiled；buthedidnotheed。
Hesaidthat，solongashisoldmensquabbledwithhis“dear，goodWonder。”theymightbeinducedtoleavethe“ImmemorialEast“inpeace。
“Nowisemanhasapolicy。”saidtheViceroy“APolicyistheblackmailleviedontheFoolbytheUnforeseenIamnottheformer，andIdonotbelieveinthelatter。”
Idonotquiteseewhatthismeans，unlessitreferstoanInsurancePolicyPerhapsitwastheViceroy’swayofsaying：——
“Lielow。”
Thatseason，cameuptoSimlaoneofthesecrazypeoplewithonlyasingleideaThesearethemenwhomakethingsmove；buttheyarenotnicetotalktoThisman’snamewasMellish，andhehadlivedforfifteenyearsonlandofhisown，inLowerBengal，studyingcholeraHeheldthatcholerawasagermthatpropagateditselfasitflewthroughamuggyatmosphere；andstuckinthebranchesoftreeslikeawool-flakeThegermcouldberenderedsterile，hesaid，by“Mellish’sOwnInvincibleFumigatory“——aheavyviolet-
blackpowder——“theresultoffifteenyears’scientificinvestigation，Sir！”
InventorsseemverymuchalikeasacasteTheytalkloudly，especiallyabout“conspiraciesofmonopolists；“theybeatuponthetablewiththeirfists；andtheysecretefragmentsoftheirinventionsabouttheirpersons。
MellishsaidthattherewasaMedical“Ring“atSimla，headedbytheSurgeon-General，whowasinleague，apparently，withalltheHospitalAssistantsintheEmpireIforgetexactlyhowheprovedit，butithadsomethingtodowith“skulkinguptotheHills；“andwhatMellishwantedwastheindependentevidenceoftheViceroy——
“StewardofourMostGraciousMajestytheQueen，Sir。”SoMellishwentuptoSimla，witheighty-fourpoundsofFumigatoryinhistrunk，tospeaktotheViceroyandtoshowhimthemeritsoftheinvention。
ButitiseasiertoseeaViceroythantotalktohim，unlessyouchancetobeasimportantasMellisheofMadrasHewasasix-
thousand-rupeeman，sogreatthathisdaughtersnever“married。”
They“contractedalliances。”HehimselfwasnotpaidHe“receivedemoluments。”andhisjourneysaboutthecountrywere“toursofobservation。”HisbusinesswastostirupthepeopleinMadraswithalongpole——asyoustirupstenchinapond——andthepeoplehadtocomeupoutoftheircomfortableoldwaysandgasp：——
“ThisisEnlightenmentandprogressIsn’titfine！”ThentheygaveMellishestatuesandjasminegarlands，inthehopeofgettingridofhim。
MellishecameuptoSimla“toconferwiththeViceroy。”ThatwasoneofhisperquisitesTheViceroyknewnothingofMellisheexceptthathewas“oneofthosemiddle-classdeitieswhoseemnecessarytothespiritualcomfortofthisParadiseoftheMiddle-
classes。”andthat，inallprobability，hehad“suggested，designed，founded，andendowedallthepublicinstitutionsinMadras。”WhichprovesthatHisExcellency，thoughdreamy，hadexperienceofthewaysofsix-thousand-rupeeme...完整阅读请扫描二维码下载丁香书院APP免费看：