I’msosorryHowveryunfortunate!”。
ButMrsMallowehadpass~don。
“Forthepracticedequivocatoryousaidhewas。”murmuredMrs。
Hauksbee,“hestrikesmeasafailureNowwhereforeshouldhehavepreferredawalkwithTheDowdtoteawithus?Electiveaffinities,Isuppos~bothgrubbyPolly,I’dneverforgivethatwomanaslongastheworldrolls。”
“Iforgiveeverywomaneve“ything。”
saidMrsMallowe“Hewillbeasufficientpunishmentforher。
Whatacommonvoiceshehas!”
MrsDelville’svoicewasnotpretty,hercarriagewasevenlesslovely,andherraimentwasstrikinglyneglectedAllthesethingsMrsMallowenoticedoverthetopofamagazine。
“Nowwhatisthereinher?”saidMrsHauksbee“DoyouseewhatImeantabouttheclothesfallingoff?IfIwereamanIwouldperishsoonerthanbeseenwiththatrag-bagAndyet,shehasgoodeyes,but~h!”
“Whatisit?”
“Shedoesn’tknowhowtousethem!OnmyHonor,shedoesnot。
Look!Ohlook!UntidinessI
canendure,butignor~1cenever!Thewoman’safool。”
“Hsh!She’llhearyou。”
“AllthewomeninSimlaarefoolsShe’llthinkImeansomeoneelseNowshe’sgoingo~tWhatathoroughlyobjectionablecouplesheandTheDancingMastermake!WhichremindsmeDoyousupposethey’lleverdancetogether?”
“WaitandseeIdon’tenvybertheconversationofTheDancingMaster-loathlyman~Hiswifeoughttobeupherebeforelong。”
“Doyouknowanythingabouthim?”
“OnlywhathetoldmeItmaybea11afictionHemarriedagirlbredinthecountry,Ithink,and,beinganhonorable,chivalroussoul,toldmethatherepentedhisbargainandsenthertohermotherasoftenaspossible’~apersonwhohaslivedintheDoonsincethememoryofmanandgoestoMussooriewhenotherpeoplegoHomeThewifeiswithheratpresentSohesays。”
’Babies?’
“Oneonly,buthetalksofhiswifeinarevoltingwayIhatedhimforitHethoughthewasbeingepigrammaticandbrilliant。”
“ThatisavicepeculiartomenIdislikehimbecauseheisgenerallyinthewakeofsomegirl,disappointingtheEligiblesHewillpersecuteMayHoltnomore,unlessIammuchmistaken。”
“NoIthinkMrsDelvillemayoccupyhisattentionforawhile。”
“Doyousupposesheknowsthatheistheheadofafamily?”
“NotfromhislipsHesworemetoeternalsecrecyWhereforeI
tellyouDon’tyouknowthattypeofman?”
“Notintimately,thankgoodness!Asageneralrule,whenamanbeginstoabusehiswifetome,IfindthattheLordgivesmewherewithtoanswerhimaccordingtohisfolly;andwepartwithacoolnessbetweenusIlaugh。”
“I’mdifferentI’venosenseofhumor。”
“Cultivateit,thenIthasbeenmymainstayformoreyearsthanI
caretothinkaboutA
well-educatedsenseofHumorwillsaveawomanwhenReligion,Training,andHomeinfluencesfail;andwemayallneedsalvationsometimes。”
“DoyousupposethattheDelvillewomanhashumor?”
“HerdressbewraysherHowcanaThingwhowearsasupplementunderherleftarmhaveanynotionofthefitnessofthings-muchlesstheirfolly?IfshediscardsTheDancingMaste~afterhavingonceseenhimdance,Imayrespecther,Otherwise-“Butarewenotbothassumingagreatdealtoomuch,dear?Yousa“thewomanatPeliti’s-halfanhourASECOND-RATEWOMAN
literyousawherwalkingwithTheDancingMaster-anhourlateryoumetherhereattheLibrary。”
“StillwithTheDancingMaster,remember。”
“StillwithTheDancingMaster,Iadmit,butwhyonthestrengthofthatshouldyouimagine“-“I
imaginenothingIhavenoimaginationIamonlyconvincedthatTheDancingMasterisattractedtoTheDowdbecauseheisobjectionableineverywayandsheineveryotherIfIknowthemanasyouhavedescribedhim,heholdshiswifeinslaveryatpresent。”
“Sheistwentyyearsyoungerthanhe。”
“Poorwretch!And,intheend,afterlehasposedandswaggeredandlied-hehasamouthunderthatraggedmoustachesimplymadeforlies-hewillberswardedaccordingtohismerits。”
“Iwonderwhatthosereallyare。”saidMrsMallowe。
ButMrsHauksbee,herfacecloseto’heshelfofthenewbooks,washummingsoftly:“WhatshallhehavewhokilledtheDeer!”Shewasaladyofunfetteredspeech。
Onemonthlater,sheannouncedherintentionofcallinguponMrs。
DelvilleBothMrsHauksbeeandMrsMallowewereinmorningwrappers,andtherewasagreatpeaceintheland。
“IshouldgoasIwas。”saidMrsMallowe“Itwouldbeadelicatecomplimenttoherstyle。”
MrsHauksbeestudiedherselfintheglass。
“Assumingforamomentthatsheeverdarkenedthesedoors,I
shouldputonthisrobe,afteralltheothers,toshowherwhatamorningwrapperoughttobeItmightenlivenherAsitis,Ishallgointhedove-colored-sweetemblemofyouthandinnocence~andshallputonmynewgloves。”
“Ifyoureallyaregoing,dirtytauwouldbetoogood;andyouknowthatdove-colorspotswiththerain。”
“IcarenotImaymakeherenviousAtleastIshalltry,thoughonecannotexpectverymuchfromawomanwhoputsalacetuckerintoherhabit。”
“JustHeavens!Whendidshedothat?”
“Yesterday-ridingwithTheDancingMasterImetthematthebackofJakko,andtherainhadmadethelaceliedownTocompletetheeffect,shewaswearinganuncleanteraiwiththeelasticunderherchinIfeltalmosttoowellcontenttotakethetroubletodespiseher。”
“TheHawleyBoywasridingwithyouWhatdidhethink?”
“Doesaboyevernoticethesethings?ShouldIlikehimifhedid?
Hestaredintherudestway,andjustwhenIthoughthehadseentheelastic,hesaid,’There’ssomethingverytakingaboutthatface。’IrebukedhimonthespotIdon’tapproveofboysbeingtakenbyfaces。”
“OtherthanyourownIshouldn’tbeintheleastsurprisediftheHawleyBoyimmediatelywenttocall。”
“IforbadehimLetherbesatisfiedwithTheDancingMaster,andhiswifewhenshecomesup。
I’mrathercurioustoseeMrsBentandtheDelvillewomantogether。”
MrsHauksbeedepartedand,attheendofanhour,returnedslightlyflushed。
“Thereisnolimittothetreacheryof124
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t’outh!IorderedtheHawleyBoy,as’sevaluedmypatronage,nottocallThefirstpersonI
stumbleover-literallystumbleover-inherpoky,dark,jittledrawing-roomis,ofcourse,theilawleyBoyShekeptuswaitingtenruinutes,andthenemergedasthough~ehadbeentippedoutofthedirtyr。lothesbasketYouknowmyway,dear,whenI
amallputoutIwasSuperior,crrrushinglySuperior!’LiftedmyeyestoHeaven,andhadheardofnothing-’droppedmyeyesonthecarpetand’reallydidn’tknow’-’playedwitamycardcaseand’supposedso。’TheHawleyBoygiggledlikeagirl,andIhadtofreezehimwithscowlsbetweenthesentences。”
“Andshe?”
“Shesatinaheapontheedgeofacouch,andmanagedtoconveytheimpressionthatshewassufferingfromstomach-ache,attheveryleastItwasaHIcoulddonottoaskafterhersymptomsWhenIroseshegruntedjustlikeabuffalointhewater-toolazytomove。”
“Areyoucertain?”-“AmIblind,Polly?Laziness,sheerlaziness,nothingelse-orhergarmentswereonlyconstructedforsittingdowninIstayedforaquarterofanhourtryingtopenetratethegloom,toguesswhathersurroundingswerelike,whileshestuckouthertongue。”
’~Lu~cy!”
“Well-I’llwithdrawthetongue,thoughI’m~ureifshedidn’tdoitwhenIwasintheroom,shedidtheminuteIwasoutsideAtanyrate,shelayinalumpandgruntedAsktheHawleyBoy,dearIbelievethegruntsweremeantforsentencesbutshespokesoindistinctlythatIcan’tsweartoit。”
“Youareincorrigible,simply。”
“Iamnot!Treatmecivilly,givemepeacewithhonor,don’tputtheonlyavailableseatfacingthewindow,andachildmayeatjaminmylapbeforeChurchButIresentbeinggruntedat。
Wouldn’tyou?DoyousupposethatshecommunicatesherviewsonlifeandlovetoTheDancingMasterinasetofmodulated’Grmphs’?”
“YouattachtoomuchimportancetoTheDancingMaster。”
“Hecameaswewent,andTheDowdgrewalmostcordialatthesightofhimHesmiledgreasily,andmovedaboutthatdarkeneddog-kennelinasuspiciouslyfamiliarway。”
“Don’tbeuncharitableAnysinbutthatI’llforgive。”
“ListentothevoiceofHistoryIamonlydescribingwhatIsaw。
Heentered,theheaponthesofarevivedslightly,andtheHawleyBoyandIcameawaytogetherHeisdisillusioned,hutI
feltitmydutytolecturehimseverelyforgoingthereAndthat’sall。”
’~NowforPity’ssakeleavethewretchedcreatureandTheDancingMasteraloneTheyneverdidyouanyharm。”
“Noharm?Todress~sanexample~ndastumbling-blockforhalfSimla,andthentofindthisPersonwhoisdressedbythehandofGod-notthatIwishtodisparageHimforamoment,butyouknowthetikkadhurziewayHeattiresthoseliliesofthefield-thisPersondrawstheeyesofmen-andsomeofthemnicemen?It’salmostenough~omakeonediscardclothingItohItheHawleyBoyso。”
ASECOND-RATEWOMAN
“Andwhatdidthatsweetyouthdo?”
“Turnedshell-pinkandlookedacrossthefarbluehillslikeadistressedcherubAmItalkingwildly,Polly?Letmesaymysay,andIshallbecalmOtherwiseI
maygoabroadanddisturbSimlawithafeworiginalreflectionsExceptingalwaysyourownsweetself,thereisn’tasinglewomaninthelandwhounderstandsmewhenIam-what’stheword?”
“Tete-Fa7~e。”suggestedMrsMallowe。
“Exactly!AndnowletushavetiffinThedemandsofSocie~yare~xhausting,andasMrs。
Delvillesays“-HereMrsHauksbee,tothehorrorofthekhU。motgars,lapsedintoaseriesofgrunts,whileMrsMallowestaredinlazysurprise。
’Godgieusagudeconceitofoorselves,’“saidMrsHauksbee,piously,returningtohernaturalspeech“Now,inanyotherwomanthawouldhavebeenvulgarI
amconsumedwithcuriositytoseeMrsBentIexpectcomplications。”
“Womanofoneidea。”saidMrsMallowe,shortly;“allcomplicationsarea~oldasthehills!I
havelivedthroughornearall~ll-ALL!”
“Andyetdonotunderstandthatmciiandwomenneverbehavetwice~likeIamoldwhowasyoung-ifeverIputmyheadinyourlap,youdear,bigsceptic,youwilllearnthatmypartingisgauz~butnever,noneverhaveIlostmyinterestinmenandwomenPolly,IshallseethisbusinessOuttothebitterend。”
“Iamgoingtosleep。”saidMrsMallowe,calmly“IneverinterferewithmenorwomenunlessI
amcompelled。”
andsheretiredwithdignitytoherownroom。
MrsHauksbee’scuriositywasnotlongleftungratified,forMrs。
BentcameuptoSimlaafe~
daysaftertheconversationfaithfullyreportedabove,andpervadedtheMallbyherhusband’sside。
“Behold!”saidMrsHauksbee,thoughtfullyrubbinghernose。
“Thatisthelastlinkofthechain,ifweomitthehusbandoftheDelville,whoeverhemaybe。
LetmeconsiderTheBentsandtheDelvillesinhabitthesamehotel;andtheDelvilleisdetestedbytheWaddy-doyouknowtheWaddy?-
whoisalmostasbigadowdTheWaddyalsoabominatesthemaleBent,forwhich,ifherothersinsdonotweightooheavily,shewillev~tuallygotoHeaven。”
“Don’tbeirreverent。”saidMrsMallowe“IlikeMrsBent’sface。”
“IamdiscussingtheWaddy。”returnedMrsHauksbee,loftily。
“TheWaddywilltakethefemaleBentapart,atterhavingborrowed-yes!~everythingthatshecan,fromhairpinstobabies’
bottlesSuch,mydear,islifeinahotelTlicWaddywilltellthefemaleBentfactsandfictionsaboutTheDancingMasterandTheDowd。”
“Lucy,Ishouldlikeyoubetterifyouwerenotalwayslookingintopeople’sback-bed-rooms。”
“Aiiybodycanlookintotheirfrontdrawing-rooms;andrememberwhateverIdo,andwhateverI
look,Inevertalk-astheWaddywillLetushopethatTheDancingMaster’sgreasysmileandmannerofthepedagoguewillsoftentheheartofthatcow,hiswifeIfmouthsspeaktruth,Ishouldthinkthat226
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littleMrsBentcouldgetveryangryonoccasion。
“Butwhatreasonhassheforbeingangry?”
“Whatreason!TheDancingMasterinhimselfisareasonHowdoesitgo?’Ifinhislifesometrivialerrorsfall,Lookinhisfaceandyou’llbelievethemall~’I
ampreparedtocreditanyevilofTheDancingMaster,becauseIhatehimsoAndTheDowdissodisgustinglybadlydressed“-“Thatshe,too,iscapableofe~eryiniquity?IalwaysprefertobelievethebestofeverybodyItsavessomuchtrouble。”
“VerygoodIprefertobelievethe“orstItsavesuselessexpenditureofsympathyAndyoumaybequitecertainthattheWaddybelieveswithme。”
MrsMallowesighedandmadenoanswer。
TheconversationwasholdenafterdinnerwhileMrsHauksbeewasdressingforadance。
“Iamtootiredtogo。”pleadedMrsMallowe,andMrsHauksbeeleftherinpeacetilltwointhemorning,whenshewasawareofemphaticknockingatherdoor。
“Don’tbeveryangry,dear。”saidMrsHauksbee“Myidiotofanayahhasgonehome,and,asI
hopetosleepto-night,thereisn’tasoulintheplacetounlaceme。”
“Oh,thisistoobad!”saidMrsMallowesulkily。
“’Can’thelpitI’malone,lorngrass-widow,dear,butIwillnotsleepinmystaysAndsuchnews,too!Oh,dounlaceme,there’sadarling!TheDowd-TheDancingMaster-IandtheHawleyBoy-YouknowtheNortbveranda?”
“HowcanIdoanythingifyouspinroundlikethis?”protestedMrs。
Mallowe,fumblingwiththeknotofthelaces。
“Oh,IforgetImusttellmytalewithouttheaidofyoureyesDoyouknowyou’velovelyeyes,dear?Welltobeginwith,ItooktheHawleyBoytoakalo’
juggak。”
“Didhewantmuchtaking?”
“Lots!Therewasanarrangementofloose-boxesinkanats,andshewasinthenextonetalkingtohim。”
“Which?How?Explain。”
“YouknowwhatImean-TheDow1andTheDancingMasterWecouldheareverywordandwelistenedshamelessly-’speciallytheHawleyBoyPolly,Iquitelovethatwoman!”
“ThisisinterestingThere!NowturnroundWhathappened?”
“OnemomentAh-h!BlessedreliefI’vebeenlookingforwardtotakingthemoffforthelasthalf-hour-whichisominousatmytimeoflifeBut,asIwassaying,welistenedandheardTheDowddrawlworsethaneverShedropsherfinalg’slikeabarmaidorablue-bloodedAide-de-Camp’Lookhe-ere,you’regettin’toofond0’me,’shesaid,andTheDancingMasterowneditwassoinlanguagethatnearlymademei“TheDowdreflectedfoiawhileThenweheardhersay,’Lookhe-ere,MisterBent,whyareyousuchanaw-fulliar?’InearlyexplodedwhileTheDancingMasterdeniedthechargeItseemsthathenevertoldherhewa。”amarriedman。”
“Isaidhewouldn’t。”
’~Andshehadtakenthistoheart,o,~
ASECOND-RATEWOMAN