首页 >出版文学> The Works of Edgar Allan Poe>第59章
  Wehaveataskbeforeuswhichmustbespeedilyperformed。Weknowthatitwillberuinoustomakedelay。Themostimportantcrisisofourlifecalls,trumpet-tongued,forimmediateenergyandaction。Weglow,weareconsumedwitheagernesstocommencethework,withtheanticipationofwhosegloriousresultourwholesoulsareonfire。Itmust,itshallbeundertakento-day,andyetweputitoffuntilto-morrow,andwhy?Thereisnoanswer,exceptthatwefeelperverse,usingthewordwithnocomprehensionoftheprinciple。To-morrowarrives,andwithitamoreimpatientanxietytodoourduty,butwiththisveryincreaseofanxietyarrives,also,anameless,apositivelyfearful,becauseunfathomable,cravingfordelay。Thiscravinggathersstrengthasthemomentsfly。Thelasthourforactionisathand。Wetremblewiththeviolenceoftheconflictwithinus,ofthedefinitewiththeindefiniteofthesubstancewiththeshadow。But,ifthecontesthaveproceededthusfar,itistheshadowwhichprevails,westruggleinvain。Theclockstrikes,andistheknellofourwelfare。Atthesametime,itisthechanticleernotetotheghostthathassolongoverawedus。Itfliesitdisappearswearefree。Theoldenergyreturns。Wewilllabornow。Alas,itistoolate!
  Westanduponthebrinkofaprecipice。Wepeerintotheabysswegrowsickanddizzy。Ourfirstimpulseistoshrinkfromthedanger。
  Unaccountablyweremain。Byslowdegreesoursicknessanddizzinessandhorrorbecomemergedinacloudofunnamablefeeling。Bygradations,stillmoreimperceptible,thiscloudassumesshape,asdidthevaporfromthebottleoutofwhicharosethegeniusintheArabianNights。Butoutofthisourcloudupontheprecipice’sedge,theregrowsintopalpability,ashape,farmoreterriblethananygeniusoranydemonofatale,andyetitisbutathought,althoughafearfulone,andonewhichchillstheverymarrowofourboneswiththefiercenessofthedelightofitshorror。Itismerelytheideaofwhatwouldbeoursensationsduringthesweepingprecipitancyofafallfromsuchaheight。Andthisfallthisrushingannihilationfortheveryreasonthatitinvolvesthatonemostghastlyandloathsomeofallthemostghastlyandloathsomeimagesofdeathandsufferingwhichhaveeverpresentedthemselvestoourimagination
  forthisverycausedowenowthemostvividlydesireit。Andbecauseourreasonviolentlydetersusfromthebrink,thereforedowethemostimpetuouslyapproachit。Thereisnopassioninnaturesodemoniacallyimpatient,asthatofhimwho,shudderingupontheedgeofaprecipice,thusmeditatesaPlunge。Toindulge,foramoment,inanyattemptatthought,istobeinevitablylost;forreflectionbuturgesustoforbear,andthereforeitis,Isay,thatwecannot。Iftherebenofriendlyarmtocheckus,orifwefailinasuddenefforttoprostrateourselvesbackwardfromtheabyss,weplunge,andaredestroyed。
  Examinethesesimilaractionsaswewill,weshallfindthemresultingsolelyfromthespiritofthePerverse。Weperpetratethembecausewefeelthatweshouldnot。Beyondorbehindthisthereisnointelligibleprinciple;andwemight,indeed,deemthisperversenessadirectinstigationoftheArch-Fiend,wereitnotoccasionallyknowntooperateinfurtheranceofgood。
  Ihavesaidthusmuch,thatinsomemeasureImayansweryourquestion,thatImayexplaintoyouwhyIamhere,thatImayassigntoyousomethingthatshallhaveatleastthefaintaspectofacauseformywearingthesefetters,andformytenantingthiscellofthecondemned。HadInotbeenthusprolix,youmighteitherhavemisunderstoodmealtogether,or,withtherabble,havefanciedmemad。Asitis,youwilleasilyperceivethatIamoneofthemanyuncountedvictimsoftheImpofthePerverse。
  Itisimpossiblethatanydeedcouldhavebeenwroughtwithamorethoroughdeliberation。Forweeks,formonths,Ipondereduponthemeansofthemurder。Irejectedathousandschemes,becausetheiraccomplishmentinvolvedachanceofdetection。Atlength,inreadingsomeFrenchMemoirs,IfoundanaccountofanearlyfatalillnessthatoccurredtoMadamePilau,throughtheagencyofacandleaccidentallypoisoned。Theideastruckmyfancyatonce。Iknewmyvictim’shabitofreadinginbed。Iknew,too,thathisapartmentwasnarrowandill-ventilated。ButIneednotvexyouwithimpertinentdetails。IneednotdescribetheeasyartificesbywhichI
  substituted,inhisbed-roomcandle-stand,awax-lightofmyownmakingfortheonewhichItherefound。Thenextmorninghewasdiscovereddeadinhisbed,andtheCoroner’sverdictwas“DeathbythevisitationofGod。”
  Havinginheritedhisestate,allwentwellwithmeforyears。Theideaofdetectionneveronceenteredmybrain。OftheremainsofthefataltaperIhadmyselfcarefullydisposed。Ihadleftnoshadowofaclewbywhichitwouldbepossibletoconvict,oreventosuspectmeofthecrime。ItisinconceivablehowrichasentimentofsatisfactionaroseinmybosomasIreflecteduponmyabsolutesecurity。ForaverylongperiodoftimeIwasaccustomedtorevelinthissentiment。Itaffordedmemorerealdelightthanallthemereworldlyadvantagesaccruingfrommysin。Buttherearrivedatlengthanepoch,fromwhichthepleasurablefeelinggrew,byscarcelyperceptiblegradations,intoahauntingandharassingthought。Itharassedbecauseithaunted。Icouldscarcelygetridofitforaninstant。Itisquiteacommonthingtobethusannoyedwiththeringinginourears,orratherinourmemories,oftheburthenofsomeordinarysong,orsomeunimpressivesnatchesfromanopera。Norwillwebethelesstormentedifthesonginitselfbegood,ortheoperaairmeritorious。Inthismanner,atlast,Iwouldperpetuallycatchmyselfponderinguponmysecurity,andrepeating,inalowundertone,thephrase,“Iamsafe。”
  Oneday,whilstsaunteringalongthestreets,Iarrestedmyselfintheactofmurmuring,halfaloud,thesecustomarysyllables。Inafitofpetulance,Iremodelledthemthus;“IamsafeIamsafeyesifIbenotfoolenoughtomakeopenconfession!”
  NosoonerhadIspokenthesewords,thanIfeltanicychillcreeptomyheart。Ihadhadsomeexperienceinthesefitsofperversity,whosenatureIhavebeenatsometroubletoexplain,andI
  rememberedwellthatinnoinstanceIhadsuccessfullyresistedtheirattacks。Andnowmyowncasualself-suggestionthatImightpossiblybefoolenoughtoconfessthemurderofwhichIhadbeenguilty,confrontedme,asiftheveryghostofhimwhomIhadmurderedandbeckonedmeontodeath。
  Atfirst,Imadeanefforttoshakeoffthisnightmareofthesoul。I
  walkedvigorouslyfasterstillfasteratlengthIran。I
  feltamaddeningdesiretoshriekaloud。Everysucceedingwaveofthoughtoverwhelmedmewithnewterror,for,alas!Iwell,toowellunderstoodthattothink,inmysituation,wastobelost。Istillquickenedmypace。Iboundedlikeamadmanthroughthecrowdedthoroughfares。Atlength,thepopulacetookthealarm,andpursuedme。Ifeltthentheconsummationofmyfate。CouldIhavetornoutmytongue,Iwouldhavedoneit,butaroughvoiceresoundedinmyearsaroughergraspseizedmebytheshoulder。IturnedIgaspedforbreath。ForamomentIexperiencedallthepangsofsuffocation;
  Ibecameblind,anddeaf,andgiddy;andthensomeinvisiblefiend,I
  thought,struckmewithhisbroadpalmupontheback。Thelongimprisonedsecretburstforthfrommysoul。
  TheysaythatIspokewithadistinctenunciation,butwithmarkedemphasisandpassionatehurry,asifindreadofinterruptionbeforeconcludingthebrief,butpregnantsentencesthatconsignedmetothehangmanandtohell。
  Havingrelatedallthatwasnecessaryforthefullestjudicialconviction,Ifellprostrateinaswoon。
  ButwhyshallIsaymore?To-dayIwearthesechains,andamhere!
  To-morrowIshallbefetterless!butwhere?
  Nullusenimlocussinegenioest。_Servius_。
  “LAMUSIQUE。”saysMarmontel,inthose“ContesMoraux“{*1}whichinallourtranslations,wehaveinsisteduponcalling“MoralTales。”asifinmockeryoftheirspirit“lamusiqueestleseuldestalentsquijouissentdelui-meme;touslesautresveulentdestemoins。”Hehereconfoundsthepleasurederivablefromsweetsoundswiththecapacityforcreatingthem。Nomorethananyothertalent,isthatformusicsusceptibleofcompleteenjoyment,wherethereisnosecondpartytoappreciateitsexercise。Anditisonlyincommonwithothertalentsthatitproduceseffectswhichmaybefullyenjoyedinsolitude。Theideawhichtheraconteurhaseitherfailedtoentertainclearly,orhassacrificedinitsexpressiontohisnationalloveofpoint,is,doubtless,theverytenableonethatthehigherorderofmusicisthemostthoroughlyestimatedwhenweareexclusivelyalone。
  Theproposition,inthisform,willbeadmittedatoncebythosewholovethelyreforitsownsake,andforitsspiritualuses。Butthereisonepleasurestillwithinthereachoffallenmortalityandperhapsonlyonewhichowesevenmorethandoesmusictotheaccessorysentimentofseclusion。Imeanthehappinessexperiencedinthecontemplationofnaturalscenery。Intruth,themanwhowouldbeholdarightthegloryofGoduponearthmustinsolitudebeholdthatglory。Tome,atleast,thepresencenotofhumanlifeonly,butoflifeinanyotherformthanthatofthegreenthingswhichgrowuponthesoilandarevoicelessisastainuponthelandscapeisatwarwiththegeniusofthescene。Ilove,indeed,toregardthedarkvalleys,andthegrayrocks,andthewatersthatsilentlysmile,andtheforeststhatsighinuneasyslumbers,andtheproudwatchfulmountainsthatlookdownuponall,Ilovetoregardtheseasthemselvesbutthecolossalmembersofonevastanimateandsentientwholeawholewhoseformthatofthesphereisthemostperfectandmostinclusiveofall;whosepathisamongassociateplanets;whosemeekhandmaidenisthemoon,whosemediatesovereignisthesun;whoselifeiseternity,whosethoughtisthatofaGod;
  whoseenjoymentisknowledge;whosedestiniesarelostinimmensity,whosecognizanceofourselvesisakinwithourowncognizanceoftheanimalculaewhichinfestthebrainabeingwhichwe,inconsequence,regardaspurelyinanimateandmaterialmuchinthesamemannerastheseanimalculaemustthusregardus。
  Ourtelescopesandourmathematicalinvestigationsassureusoneveryhandnotwithstandingthecantofthemoreignorantofthepriesthoodthatspace,andthereforethatbulk,isanimportantconsiderationintheeyesoftheAlmighty。Thecyclesinwhichthestarsmovearethosebestadaptedfortheevolution,withoutcollision,ofthegreatestpossiblenumberofbodies。Theformsofthosebodiesareaccuratelysuchas,withinagivensurface,toincludethegreatestpossibleamountofmatter;whilethesurfacesthemselvesaresodisposedastoaccommodateadenserpopulationthancouldbeaccommodatedonthesamesurfacesotherwisearranged。NorisitanyargumentagainstbulkbeinganobjectwithGod,thatspaceitselfisinfinite;fortheremaybeaninfinityofmattertofillit。Andsinceweseeclearlythattheendowmentofmatterwithvitalityisaprincipleindeed,asfarasourjudgmentsextend,theleadingprincipleintheoperationsofDeity,itisscarcelylogicaltoimagineitconfinedtotheregionsoftheminute,wherewedailytraceit,andnotextendingtothoseoftheaugust。Aswefindcyclewithincyclewithoutend,yetallrevolvingaroundonefar-distantcentrewhichistheGod-head,maywenotanalogicallysupposeinthesamemanner,lifewithinlife,thelesswithinthegreater,andallwithintheSpiritDivine?Inshort,wearemadlyerring,throughself-esteem,inbelievingman,ineitherhistemporalorfuturedestinies,tobeofmoremomentintheuniversethanthatvast“clodofthevalley“whichhetillsandcontemns,andtowhichhedeniesasoulfornomoreprofoundreasonthanthathedoesnotbeholditinoperation。{*2}
  Thesefancies,andsuchasthese,havealwaysgiventomymeditationsamongthemountainsandtheforests,bytheriversandtheocean,atingeofwhattheeverydayworldwouldnotfailtotermfantastic。Mywanderingsamidsuchsceneshavebeenmany,andfar-searching,andoftensolitary;andtheinterestwithwhichIhavestrayedthroughmanyadim,deepvalley,orgazedintothereflectedHeavenofmanyabrightlake,hasbeenaninterestgreatlydeepenedbythethoughtthatIhavestrayedandgazedalone。WhatflippantFrenchmanwasitwhosaidinallusiontothewell-knownworkofZimmerman,that,“lasolitudeestunebellechose;maisilfautquelqu’unpourvousdirequelasolitudeestunebellechose?”Theepigramcannotbegainsayed;butthenecessityisathingthatdoesnotexist。
  Itwasduringoneofmylonelyjourneyings,amidafardistantregionofmountainlockedwithinmountain,andsadriversandmelancholytarnwrithingorsleepingwithinallthatIchanceduponacertainrivuletandisland。IcameuponthemsuddenlyintheleafyJune,andthrewmyselfupontheturf,beneaththebranchesofanunknownodorousshrub,thatImightdozeasIcontemplatedthescene。IfeltthatthusonlyshouldIlookuponitsuchwasthecharacterofphantasmwhichitwore。
  Onallsidessavetothewest,wherethesunwasaboutsinking
  arosetheverdantwallsoftheforest。Thelittleriverwhichturnedsharplyinitscourse,andwasthusimmediatelylosttosight,seemedtohavenoexitfromitsprison,buttobeabsorbedbythedeepgreenfoliageofthetreestotheeastwhileintheoppositequartersoitappearedtomeasIlayatlengthandglancedupwardtherepoureddownnoiselesslyandcontinuouslyintothevalley,arichgoldenandcrimsonwaterfallfromthesunsetfountainsofthesky。