“Now，younigger，myteeth！Fora_good_setoftheseyouhadbettergotoParmly’satonce；highprices，butexcellentwork。I
　　swallowedsomeverycapitalarticles，though，whenthebigBugaboorammedmedownwiththebuttendofhisrifle。”
　　“Buttend！ramdown！！myeye！！”
　　“Oyes，by-the-by，myeye-here，Pompey，youscamp，screwitin！ThoseKickapoosarenotsoveryslowatagouge；buthe’sabeliedman，thatDr。Williams，afterall；youcan’timaginehowwellIseewiththeeyesofhismake。”
　　Inowbeganveryclearlytoperceivethattheobjectbeforemewasnothingmorenorlessthanmynewacquaintance，BrevetBrigadierGeneralJohnA。B。C。Smith。ThemanipulationsofPompeyhadmade，I
　　mustconfess，averystrikingdifferenceintheappearanceofthepersonalman。Thevoice，however，stillpuzzledmenolittle；buteventhisapparentmysterywasspeedilyclearedup。
　　“Pompey，youblackrascal。”squeakedtheGeneral，“Ireallydobelieveyouwouldletmegooutwithoutmypalate。”
　　Hereupon，thenegro，grumblingoutanapology，wentuptohismaster，openedhismouthwiththeknowingairofahorse-jockey，andadjustedthereinasomewhatsingular-lookingmachine，inaverydexterousmanner，thatIcouldnotaltogethercomprehend。Thealteration，however，intheentireexpressionoftheGeneral’scountenancewasinstantaneousandsurprising。Whenheagainspoke，hisvoicehadresumedallthatrichmelodyandstrengthwhichIhadnoticeduponouroriginalintroduction。
　　“Dnthevagabonds！”saidhe，insoclearatonethatI
　　positivelystartedatthechange，“Dnthevagabonds！theynotonlyknockedintheroofofmymouth，buttookthetroubletocutoffatleastseven-eighthsofmytongue。Thereisn’tBonfanti’sequal，however，inAmerica，forreallygoodarticlesofthisdescription。I
　　canrecommendyoutohimwithconfidence。”[heretheGeneralbowed，]
　　“andassureyouthatIhavethegreatestpleasureinsodoing。”
　　Iacknowledgedhiskindnessinmybestmanner，andtookleaveofhimatonce，withaperfectunderstandingofthetruestateofaffairs-withafullcomprehensionofthemysterywhichhadtroubledmesolong。Itwasevident。Itwasaclearcase。BrevetBrigadierGeneralJohnA。B。C。Smithwastheman-was_themanthatwasusedup_。
　　Methodisthesoulofbusiness。OLDSAYING。
　　IAMabusinessman。Iamamethodicalman。Methodisthething，afterall。ButtherearenopeopleImoreheartilydespisethanyoureccentricfoolswhoprateaboutmethodwithoutunderstandingit；
　　attendingstrictlytoitsletter，andviolatingitsspirit。Thesefellowsarealwaysdoingthemostout-of-the-waythingsinwhattheycallanorderlymanner。Nowhere，Iconceive，isapositiveparadox。
　　Truemethodappertainstotheordinaryandtheobviousalone，andcannotbeappliedtotheoutre。Whatdefiniteideacanabodyattachtosuchexpressionsas“methodicalJacko’Dandy。”or“asystematicalWillo’theWisp“？
　　Mynotionsuponthisheadmightnothavebeensoclearastheyare，butforafortunateaccidentwhichhappenedtomewhenIwasaverylittleboy。Agood-heartedoldIrishnursewhomIshallnotforgetinmywilltookmeuponedaybytheheels，whenIwasmakingmorenoisethanwasnecessary，andswingingmeroundtwoorknockedmyheadintoacockedhatagainstthebedpost。This，Isay，decidedmyfate，andmademyfortune。Abumparoseatonceonmysinciput，andturnedouttobeasprettyanorganoforderasoneshallseeonasummer’sday。HencethatpositiveappetiteforsystemandregularitywhichhasmademethedistinguishedmanofbusinessthatIam。
　　IfthereisanythingonearthIhate，itisagenius。Yourgeniusesareallarrantassesthegreaterthegeniusthegreatertheass
　　andtothisrulethereisnoexceptionwhatever。Especially，youcannotmakeamanofbusinessoutofagenius，anymorethanmoneyoutofaJew，orthebestnutmegsoutofpine-knots。Thecreaturesarealwaysgoingoffatatangentintosomefantasticemployment，orridiculousspeculation，entirelyatvariancewiththe“fitnessofthings。”andhavingnobusinesswhatevertobeconsideredasabusinessatall。Thusyoumaytellthesecharactersimmediatelybythenatureoftheiroccupations。Ifyoueverperceiveamansettingupasamerchantoramanufacturer，orgoingintothecottonortobaccotrade，oranyofthoseeccentricpursuits；orgettingtobeadrygoodsdealer，orsoap-boiler，orsomethingofthatkind；orpretendingtobealawyer，orablacksmith，oraphysiciananythingoutoftheusualwayyoumaysethimdownatonceasagenius，andthen，accordingtotherule-of-three，he’sanass。
　　NowIamnotinanyrespectagenius，butaregularbusinessman。MyDay-bookandLedgerwillevincethisinaminute。Theyarewellkept，thoughIsayitmyself；and，inmygeneralhabitsofaccuracyandpunctuality，Iamnottobebeatbyaclock。Moreover，myoccupationshavebeenalwaysmadetochimeinwiththeordinaryhabitudesofmyfellowmen。NotthatIfeeltheleastindebted，uponthisscore，tomyexceedinglyweak-mindedparents，who，beyonddoubt，wouldhavemadeanarrantgeniusofmeatlast，ifmyguardianangelhadnotcome，ingoodtime，totherescue。Inbiographythetruthiseverything，andinautobiographyitisespeciallysoyetIscarcelyhopetobebelievedwhenIstate，howeversolemnly，thatmypoorfatherputme，whenIwasaboutfifteenyearsofage，intothecounting-houseofwhatbetermed“arespectablehardwareandcommissionmerchantdoingacapitalbitofbusiness！”Acapitalbitoffiddlestick！However，theconsequenceofthisfollywas，thatintwoorthreedays，Ihadtobesenthometomybutton-headedfamilyinahighstateoffever，andwithamostviolentanddangerouspaininthesinciput，allaroundaboutmyorganoforder。Itwasnearlyagonecasewithmethenjusttouch-and-goforsixweeksthephysiciansgivingmeupandallthatsortofthing。But，althoughIsufferedmuch，Iwasathankfulboyinthemain。Iwassavedfrombeinga“respectablehardwareandcommissionmerchant，doingacapitalbitofbusiness。”
　　andIfeltgratefultotheprotuberancewhichhadbeenthemeansofmysalvation，aswellastothekindheartedfemalewhohadoriginallyputthesemeanswithinmyreach。
　　Themostofboysrunawayfromhomeattenortwelveyearsofage，butIwaitedtillIwassixteen。Idon’tknowthatIshouldhavegoneeventhen，ifIhadnothappenedtohearmyoldmothertalkaboutsettingmeuponmyownhookinthegroceryway。Thegroceryway！
　　onlythinkofthat！Iresolvedtobeoffforthwith，andtryandestablishmyselfinsomedecentoccupation，withoutdancingattendanceanylongeruponthecapricesoftheseeccentricoldpeople，andrunningtheriskofbeingmadeageniusofintheend。InthisprojectIsucceededperfectlywellatthefirsteffort，andbythetimeIwasfairlyeighteen，foundmyselfdoinganextensiveandprofitablebusinessintheTailor’sWalking-Advertisementline。
　　Iwasenabledtodischargetheonerousdutiesofthisprofession，onlybythatrigidadherencetosystemwhichformedtheleadingfeatureofmymind。Ascrupulousmethodcharacterizedmyactionsaswellasmyaccounts。Inmycaseitwasmethodnotmoneywhichmadetheman：atleastallofhimthatwasnotmadebythetailorwhomIserved。Atnine，everymorning，Icalleduponthatindividualfortheclothesoftheday。Teno’clockfoundmeinsomefashionablepromenadeorotherplaceofpublicamusement。ThepreciseregularitywithwhichIturnedmyhandsomepersonabout，soastobringsuccessivelyintovieweveryportionofthesuituponmyback，wastheadmirationofalltheknowingmeninthetrade。Noonneverpassedwithoutmybringinghomeacustomertothehouseofmyemployers，Messrs。Cut&Comeagain。Isaythisproudly，butwithtearsinmyeyesforthefirmprovedthemselvesthebasestofingrates。Thelittleaccount，aboutwhichwequarreledandfinallyparted，cannot，inanyitem，bethoughtovercharged，bygentlemenreallyconversantwiththenatureofthebusiness。Uponthispoint，however，Ifeeladegreeofproudsatisfactioninpermittingthereadertojudgeforhimself。Mybillranthus：
　　Messrs。Cut&Comeagain，MerchantTailors。
　　ToPeterProffit，WalkingAdvertiser，Drs。
　　JULY10。topromenade，asusualandcustomerbroughthome……$00
　　Theitemchieflydisputedinthisbillwastheverymoderatechargeoftwopenniesforthedickey。Uponmywordofhonor，thiswasnotanunreasonablepriceforthatdickey。ItwasoneofthecleanestandprettiestlittledickeysIeversaw；andIhavegoodreasontobelievethatiteffectedthesaleofthreePetershams。Theelderpartnerofthefirm，however，wouldallowmeonlyonepennyofthecharge，andtookituponhimselftoshowinwhatmannerfourofthesamesizedconveniencescouldbegotoutofasheetoffoolscap。ButitisneedlesstosaythatIstoodupontheprincipleofthething。
　　Businessisbusiness，andshouldbedoneinabusinessway。Therewasnosystemwhateverinswindlingmeoutofapennyaclearfraudoffiftypercentnomethodinanyrespect。IleftatoncetheemploymentofMessrs。Cut&Comeagain，andsetupintheEye-Sorelinebymyselfoneofthemostlucrative，respectable，andindependentoftheordinaryoccupations。
　　Mystrictintegrity，economy，andrigorousbusinesshabits，hereagaincameintoplay。Ifoundmyselfdrivingaflourishingtrade，andsoonbecameamarkedmanupon’Change。Thetruthis，Ineverdabbledinflashymatters，butjoggedoninthegoodoldsoberroutineofthecallingacallinginwhichIshould，nodoubt，haveremainedtothepresenthour，butforalittleaccidentwhichhappenedtomeintheprosecutionofoneoftheusualbusinessoperationsoftheprofession。Wheneveraricholdhunksorprodigalheirorbankruptcorporationgetsintothenotionofputtingupapalace，thereisnosuchthingintheworldasstoppingeitherofthem，andthiseveryintelligentpersonknows。ThefactinquestionisindeedthebasisoftheEye-Soretrade。Assoon，therefore，asabuilding-projectisfairlyafootbyoneoftheseparties，wemerchantssecureanicecornerofthelotincontemplation，oraprimelittlesituationjustadjoining，ortightinfront。Thisdone，wewaituntilthepalaceishalf-wayup，andthenwepaysometastyarchitecttorunusupanornamentalmudhovel，rightagainstit；oraDown-EastorDutchPagoda，orapig-sty，oraningeniouslittlebitoffancywork，eitherEsquimau，Kickapoo，orHottentot。Ofcoursewecan’taffordtotakethesestructuresdownunderabonusoffivehundredpercentupontheprimecostofourlotandplaster。Canwe？Iaskthequestion。Iaskitofbusinessmen。Itwouldbeirrationaltosupposethatwecan。Andyettherewasarascallycorporationwhichaskedmetodothisverythingthisverything！Ididnotreplytotheirabsurdproposition，ofcourse；butIfeltitadutytogothatsamenight，andlamp-blackthewholeoftheirpalace。Forthistheunreasonablevillainsclappedmeintojail；andthegentlemenoftheEye-SoretradecouldnotwellavoidcuttingmyconnectionwhenIcameout。
　　TheAssault-and-Batterybusiness，intowhichIwasnowforcedtoadventureforalivelihood，wassomewhatill-adaptedtothedelicatenatureofmyconstitution；butIwenttoworkinitwithagoodheart，andfoundmyaccounthere，asheretofore，inthosesternhabitsofmethodicalaccuracywhichhadbeenthumpedintomebythatdelightfuloldnurseIwouldindeedbethebasestofmennottorememberherwellinmywill。Byobserving，asIsay，thestrictestsysteminallmydealings，andkeepingawell-regulatedsetofbooks，Iwasenabledtogetovermanyseriousdifficulties，and，intheend，toestablishmyselfverydecentlyintheprofession。Thetruthis，thatfewindividuals，inanyline，didasnuggerlittlebusinessthanI。IwilljustcopyapageorsooutofmyDay-Book；andthiswillsavemethenecessityofblowingmyowntrumpetacontemptiblepracticeofwhichnohigh-mindedmanwillbeguilty。Now，theDay-Bookisathingthatdon’tlie。
　　“Jan。1。NewYear’sDay。MetSnapinthestreet，groggy。Mem
　　he’lldo。MetGruffshortlyafterward，blinddrunk。Memhe’llanswer，too。EnteredbothgentlemeninmyLedger，andopenedarunningaccountwitheach。
　　“Jan。2。SawSnapattheExchange，andwentupandtrodonhistoe。Doubledhisfistandknockedmedown。Good！gotupagain。
　　SometriflingdifficultywithBag，myattorney。Iwantthedamagesatathousand，buthesaysthatforsosimpleaknockdownwecan’tlaythematmorethanfivehundred。MemmustgetridofBagnosystematall。
　　“Jan。3Wenttothetheatre，tolookforGruff。Sawhimsittinginasidebox，inthesecondtier，betweenafatladyandaleanone。
　　Quizzedthewholepartythroughanopera-glass，tillIsawthefatladyblushandwhispertoG。Wentround，then，intothebox，andputmynosewithinreachofhishand。Wouldn’tpullitnogo。Blewit，andtriedagainnogo。Satdownthen，andwinkedattheleanlady，whenIhadthehighsatisfactionoffindinghimliftmeupbythenapeoftheneck，andflingmeoverintothepit。Neckdislocated，andrightlegcapitallysplintered。Wenthomeinhighglee，drankabottleofchampagne，andbookedtheyoungmanforfivethousand。Bagsaysit’lldo。