首页 >出版文学> The Way of All Flesh>第65章
  Thequestionnowarosewhatwastobedonewiththechildren。I
  explainedtoErnestthattheirexpensesmustbechargedtotheestate,andshowedhimhowsmallaholeallthevariousitemsI
  proposedtochargewouldmakeintheincomeatmydisposal。Hewasbeginningtomakedifficulties,whenIquietedhimbypointingoutthatthemoneyhadallcometomefromhisaunt,overhisownhead,andremindedhimtherehadbeenanunderstandingbetweenherandmethatIshoulddomuchasIwasdoing,ifoccasionshouldarise。
  Hewantedhischildrentobebroughtupinthefreshpureair,andamongotherchildrenwhowerehappyandcontented;butbeingstillignorantofthefortunethatawaitedhim,heinsistedthattheyshouldpasstheirearlieryearsamongthepoorratherthantherich。
  Iremonstrated,buthewasverydecidedaboutit;andwhenI
  reflectedthattheywereillegitimate,IwasnotsurebutthatwhatErnestproposedmightbeaswellforeveryoneintheend。Theywerestillsoyoungthatitdidnotmuchmatterwheretheywere,solongastheywerewithkindlydecentpeople,andinahealthyneighbourhood。
  “Ishallbejustasunkindtomychildren。”hesaid,“asmygrandfatherwastomyfather,ormyfathertome。Iftheydidnotsucceedinmakingtheirchildrenlovethem,neithershallI。IsaytomyselfthatIshouldliketodoso,butsodidthey。Icanmakesurethattheyshallnotknowhowmuchtheywouldhavehatedmeiftheyhadhadmuchtodowithme,butthisisallIcando。IfI
  mustruintheirprospects,letmedosoatareasonabletimebeforetheyareoldenoughtofeelit。”
  Hemusedalittleandaddedwithalaugh:-
  “Amanfirstquarrelswithhisfatheraboutthree-quartersofayearbeforeheisborn。Itisthenheinsistsonsettingupaseparateestablishment;whenthishasbeenonceagreedto,themorecompletetheseparationforeverafterthebetterforboth。”Thenhesaidmoreseriously:“Iwanttoputthechildrenwheretheywillbewellandhappy,andwheretheywillnotbebetrayedintothemiseryoffalseexpectations。”
  IntheendherememberedthatonhisSundaywalkshehadmorethanonceseenacouplewholivedonthewatersideafewmilesbelowGravesend,justwheretheseawasbeginning,andwhohethoughtwoulddo。Theyhadafamilyoftheirownfastcomingonandthechildrenseemedtothrive;bothfatherandmotherindeedwerecomfortablewellgrownfolks,inwhosehandsyoungpeoplewouldbelikelytohaveasfairachanceofcomingtoagooddevelopmentasinthoseofanywhomheknew。
  Wewentdowntoseethiscouple,andasIthoughtnolesswellofthemthanErnestdid,weofferedthemapoundaweektotakethechildrenandbringthemupasthoughtheyweretheirown。Theyjumpedattheoffer,andinanotherdayortwowebroughtthechildrendownandleftthem,feelingthatwehaddoneaswellaswecouldbythem,atanyrateforthepresent。ThenErnestsenthissmallstockofgoodstoDebenham’s,gaveupthehousehehadtakentwoandahalfyearspreviously,andreturnedtocivilisation。
  Ihadexpectedthathewouldnowrapidlyrecover,andwasdisappointedtoseehimgetasIthoughtdecidedlyworse。Indeed,beforelongIthoughthimlookingsoillthatIinsistedonhisgoingwithmetoconsultoneofthemosteminentdoctorsinLondon。
  Thisgentlemansaidtherewasnoacutediseasebutthatmyyoungfriendwassufferingfromnervousprostration,theresultoflongandseverementalsuffering,fromwhichtherewasnoremedyexcepttime,prosperityandrest。
  HesaidthatErnestmusthavebrokendownlateron,butthathemighthavegoneonforsomemonthsyet。Itwasthesuddennessoftherelieffromtensionwhichhadknockedhimovernow。
  “Crosshim。”saidthedoctor,“atonce。Crossingisthegreatmedicaldiscoveryoftheage。Shakehimoutofhimselfbyshakingsomethingelseintohim。”
  IhadnottoldhimthatmoneywasnoobjecttousandIthinkhehadreckonedmeupasnotoverrich。Hecontinued:-
  “Seeingisamodeoftouching,touchingisamodeoffeeding,feedingisamodeofassimilation,assimilationisamodeofrecreationandreproduction,andthisiscrossing——shakingyourselfintosomethingelseandsomethingelseintoyou。”
  Hespokelaughingly,butitwasplainhewasserious。Hecontinued:-
  “Peoplearealwayscomingtomewhowantcrossing,orchange,ifyoupreferit,andwhoIknowhavenotmoneyenoughtoletthemgetawayfromLondon。ThishassetmethinkinghowIcanbestcrossthemeveniftheycannotleavehome,andIhavemadealistofcheapLondonamusementswhichIrecommendtomypatients;noneofthemcostmorethanafewshillingsortakemorethanhalfadayoraday。”
  Iexplainedthattherewasnooccasiontoconsidermoneyinthiscase。
  “Iamgladofit。”hesaid,stilllaughing。“Thehomoeopathistsuseaurumasamedicine,buttheydonotgiveitinlargedosesenough;
  ifyoucandoseyouryoungfriendwiththisprettyfreelyyouwillsoonbringhimround。However,MrPontifexisnotwellenoughtostandsogreatachangeasgoingabroadyet;fromwhatyoutellmeI
  shouldthinkhehadhadasmuchchangelatelyasisgoodforhim。
  Ifheweretogoabroadnowhewouldprobablybetakenseriouslyillwithinaweek。Wemustwaittillhehasrecoveredtonealittlemore。IwillbeginbyringingmyLondonchangesonhim。”
  Hethoughtalittleandthensaid:-
  “IhavefoundtheZoologicalGardensofservicetomanyofmypatients。IshouldprescribeforMrPontifexacourseofthelargermammals。Don’tlethimthinkheistakingthemmedicinally,butlethimgototheirhousetwiceaweekforafortnight,andstaywiththehippopotamus,therhinoceros,andtheelephants,tilltheybegintoborehim。Ifindthesebeastsdomypatientsmoregoodthananyothers。Themonkeysarenotawideenoughcross;theydonotstimulatesufficiently。Thelargercarnivoraareunsympathetic。
  Thereptilesareworsethanuseless,andthemarsupialsarenotmuchbetter。Birdsagain,exceptparrots,arenotverybeneficial;hemaylookatthemnowandagain,butwiththeelephantsandthepigtribegenerallyheshouldmixjustnowasfreelyaspossible。
  “Then,youknow,topreventmonotonyIshouldsendhim,say,tomorningserviceattheAbbeybeforehegoes。HeneednotstaylongerthantheTeDeum。Idon’tknowwhy,butJubilatesareseldomsatisfactory。JustlethimlookinattheAbbey,andsitquietlyinPoets’Cornertillthemainpartofthemusicisover。Lethimdothistwoorthreetimes,notmore,beforehegoestotheZoo。
  “ThennextdaysendhimdowntoGravesendbyboat。Byallmeanslethimgotothetheatresintheevenings——andthenlethimcometomeagaininafortnight。”
  HadthedoctorbeenlesseminentinhisprofessionIshouldhavedoubtedwhetherhewasinearnest,butIknewhimtobeamanofbusinesswhowouldneitherwastehisowntimenorthatofhispatients。AssoonaswewereoutofthehousewetookacabtoRegent’sPark,andspentacoupleofhoursinsaunteringroundthedifferenthouses。Perhapsitwasonaccountofwhatthedoctorhadtoldme,butIcertainlybecameawareofafeelingIhadneverexperiencedbefore。ImeanthatIwasreceivinganinfluxofnewlife,orderivingnewwaysoflookingatlife——whichisthesamething——bytheprocess。Ifoundthedoctorquiterightinhisestimateofthelargermammalsastheoneswhichonthewholeweremostbeneficial,andobservedthatErnest,whohadheardnothingofwhatthedoctorhadsaidtome,lingeredinstinctivelyinfrontofthem。Asfortheelephants,especiallythebabyelephant,heseemedtobedrinkinginlargedraughtsoftheirlivestothere-creationandregenerationofhisown。
  Wedinedinthegardens,andInoticedwithpleasurethatErnest’sappetitewasalreadyimproved。Sincethistime,wheneverIhavebeenalittleoutofsortsmyselfIhaveatoncegoneuptoRegent’sPark,andhaveinvariablybeenbenefited。Imentionthishereinthehopethatsomeoneorotherofmyreadersmayfindthehintausefulone。
  Attheendofhisfortnightmyherowasmuchbetter,moresoeventhanourfriendthedoctorhadexpected。“Now。”hesaid,“MrPontifexmaygoabroad,andthesoonerthebetter。Lethimstayacoupleofmonths。”
  ThiswasthefirstErnesthadheardabouthisgoingabroad,andhetalkedaboutmynotbeingabletosparehimforsolong。Isoonmadethisallright。
  “ItisnowthebeginningofApril。”saidI,“godowntoMarseillesatonce,andtakesteamertoNice。ThensaunterdowntheRivieratoGenoa——fromGenoagotoFlorence,RomeandNaples,andcomehomebywayofVeniceandtheItalianlakes。”
  “Andwon’tyoucometoo?”saidhe,eagerly。
  IsaidIdidnotmindifIdid,sowebegantomakeourarrangementsnextmorning,andcompletedthemwithinaveryfewdays。
  Weleftbythenightmail,crossingfromDover。Thenightwassoft,andtherewasabrightmoonuponthesea。“Don’tyoulovethesmellofgreaseabouttheengineofaChannelsteamer?Isn’ttherealotofhopeinit?”saidErnesttome,forhehadbeentoNormandyonesummerasaboywithhisfatherandmother,andthesmellcarriedhimbacktodaysbeforethoseinwhichhehadbeguntobruisehimselfagainstthegreatoutsideworld。“Ialwaysthinkoneofthebestpartsofgoingabroadisthefirstthudofthepiston,andthefirstgurglingofthewaterwhenthepaddlebeginstostrikeit。”
  ItwasverydreamygettingoutatCalais,andtrudgingaboutwithluggageinaforeigntownatanhourwhenweweregenerallybothofusinbedandfastasleep,butwesettleddowntosleepassoonaswegotintotherailwaycarriage,anddozedtillwehadpassedAmiens。Thenwakingwhenthefirstsignsofmorningcrispnesswerebeginningtoshowthemselves,IsawthatErnestwasalreadydevouringeveryobjectwepassedwithquicksympatheticcuriousness。
  Therewasnotapeasantinablousedrivinghiscartbetimesalongtheroadtomarket,notasignalman’swifeinherhusband’shatandcoatwavingagreenflag,notashepherdtakingouthissheeptothedewypastures,notabankofopeningcowslipsaswepassedthroughtherailwaycuttings,buthewasdrinkingitallinwithanenjoymenttoodeepforwords。ThenameoftheenginethatdrewuswasMozart,andErnestlikedthistoo。
  WereachedParisbysix,andhadjusttimetogetacrossthetownandtakeamorningexpresstraintoMarseilles,butbeforenoonmyyoungfriendwastiredoutandhadresignedhimselftoaseriesofsleepswhichwereseldomintermittedformorethananhourorsotogether。Hefoughtagainstthisforatime,butintheendconsoledhimselfbysayingitwassonicetohavesomuchpleasurethathecouldaffordtothrowalotofitaway。Havingfoundatheoryonwhichtojustifyhimself,hesleptinpeace。
  AtMarseilleswerested,andtheretheexcitementofthechangeproved,asIhadhalffeareditwould,toomuchformygodson’sstillenfeebledstate。Forafewdayshewasreallyill,butafterthisherighted。FormyownpartIreckonbeingillasoneofthegreatpleasuresoflife,providedoneisnottooillandisnotobligedtoworktilloneisbetter。IrememberbeingillonceinaforeignhotelmyselfandhowmuchIenjoyedit。Tolietherecarelessofeverything,quietandwarm,andwithnoweightuponthemind,toheartheclinkingoftheplatesinthefar-offkitchenasthescullionrinsedthemandputthemby;towatchthesoftshadowscomeandgoupontheceilingasthesuncameoutorwentbehindacloud;tolistentothepleasantmurmuringofthefountaininthecourtbelow,andtheshakingofthebellsonthehorses’collarsandtheclinkoftheirhoofsuponthegroundasthefliesplaguedthem;
  notonlytobealotus-eaterbuttoknowthatitwasone’sdutytobealotus-eater。“Oh。”Ithoughttomyself,“ifIcouldonlynow,havingsoforgottencare,dropofftosleepforever,wouldnotthisbeabetterpieceoffortunethananyIcaneverhopefor?”
  Ofcourseitwould,butwewouldnottakeitthoughitwereofferedus。Nomatterwhatevilmaybefallus,wewillmostlyabidebyitandseeitout。
  IcouldseethatErnestfeltmuchasIhadfeltmyself。Hesaidlittle,butnotedeverything。Onceonlydidhefrightenme。Hecalledmetohisbedsidejustasitwasgettingduskandsaidinagrave,quietmannerthatheshouldliketospeaktome。
  “Ihavebeenthinking。”hesaid,“thatImayperhapsneverrecoverfromthisillness,andincaseIdonotIshouldlikeyoutoknowthatthereisonlyonethingwhichweighsuponme。Irefer。”hecontinuedafteraslightpause,“tomyconducttowardsmyfatherandmother。Ihavebeenmuchtoogoodtothem。Itreatedthemmuchtooconsiderately。”onwhichhebrokeintoasmilewhichassuredmethattherewasnothingseriouslyamisswithhim。