ItoldhimhowErnest’sfellowcuratehadgotholdofhismoney，andhintedthathemightverylikelybepenniless，ornearlyso，onleavingprison。Theobalddidnotseemdispleasedatthis，butaddedsoonafterwards：“Ifthisprovestobethecase，tellhimfrommethatIwillgivehimahundredpoundsifhewilltellmethroughyouwhenhewillhaveitpaid，buttellhimnottowriteandthankme，andsaythatifheattemptstoopenupdirectcommunicationeitherwithhismotherormyself，heshallnothaveapennyofthemoney。”
　　KnowingwhatIknew，andhavingdeterminedonviolatingMissPontifex’sinstructionsshouldtheoccasionarise，IdidnotthinkErnestwouldbeanytheworseforacompleteestrangementfromhisfamily，soIacquiescedmorereadilyinwhatTheobaldhadproposedthanthatgentlemanmayhaveexpected。
　　ThinkingitbetterthatIshouldnotseeChristina，IleftTheobaldnearBattersbyandwalkedbacktothestation。OnmywayIwaspleasedtoreflectthatErnest’sfatherwaslessofafoolthanI
　　hadtakenhimtobe，andhadthegreaterhopes，therefore，thathisson’sblundersmightbeduetopostnatal，ratherthancongenitalmisfortunes。Accidentswhichhappentoamanbeforeheisborn，inthepersonsofhisancestors，will，ifheremembersthematall，leaveanindelibleimpressiononhim；theywillhavemouldedhischaractersothat，dowhathewill，itishardlypossibleforhimtoescapetheirconsequences。IfamanistoenterintotheKingdomofHeaven，hemustdoso，notonlyasalittlechild，butasalittleembryo，orratherasalittlezoosperm——andnotonlythis，butasonethathascomeofzoospermswhichhaveenteredintotheKingdomofHeavenbeforehimformanygenerations。Accidentswhichoccurforthefirsttime，andbelongtotheperiodsinceaman’slastbirth，arenot，asageneralrule，sopermanentintheireffects，thoughofcoursetheymaysometimesbeso。Atanyrate，IwasnotdispleasedattheviewwhichErnest’sfathertookofthesituation。
　　AfterErnesthadbeensentenced，hewastakenbacktothecellstowaitforthevanwhichshouldtakehimtoColdbathFields，wherehewastoservehisterm。
　　Hewasstilltoostunnedanddazedbythesuddennesswithwhicheventshadhappenedduringthelasttwenty-fourhourstobeabletorealisehisposition。Agreatchasmhadopenedbetweenhispastandfuture；neverthelesshebreathed，hispulsebeat，hecouldthinkandspeak。Itseemedtohimthatheoughttobeprostratedbytheblowthathadfallenonhim，buthewasnotprostrated；hehadsufferedfrommanysmallerlachesfarmoreacutely。Itwasnotuntilhethoughtofthepainhisdisgracewouldinflictonhisfatherandmotherthathefelthowreadilyhewouldhavegivenupallhehad，ratherthanhavefallenintohispresentplight。Itwouldbreakhismother’sheart。Itmust，heknewitwould——anditwashewhohaddonethis。
　　Hehadhadaheadachecomingonalltheforenoon，butashethoughtofhisfatherandmother，hispulsequickened，andthepaininhisheadsuddenlybecameintense。Hecouldhardlywalktothevan，andhefounditsmotioninsupportable。Onreachingtheprisonhewastooilltowalkwithoutassistanceacrossthehalltothecorridororgallerywhereprisonersaremarshalledontheirarrival。Theprisonwarder，seeingatoncethathewasaclergyman，didnotsupposehewasshamming，ashemighthavedoneinthecaseofanoldgaol-bird；hethereforesentforthedoctor。Whenthisgentlemanarrived，Ernestwasdeclaredtobesufferingfromanincipientattackofbrainfever，andwastakenawaytotheinfirmary。Herehehoveredforthenexttwomonthsbetweenlifeanddeath，neverinfullpossessionofhisreasonandoftendelirious，butatlast，contrarytotheexpectationofbothdoctorandnurse，hebeganslowlytorecover。
　　Itissaidthatthosewhohavebeennearlydrowned，findthereturntoconsciousnessmuchmorepainfulthanthelossofithadbeen，andsoitwaswithmyhero。Ashelayhelplessandfeeble，itseemedtohimarefinementofcrueltythathehadnotdiedonceforallduringhisdelirium。Hethoughtheshouldstillmostlikelyrecoveronlytosinkalittlelateronfromshameandsorrow；neverthelessfromdaytodayhemended，thoughsoslowlythathecouldhardlyrealiseittohimself。Oneafternoon，however，aboutthreeweeksafterhehadregainedconsciousness，thenursewhotendedhim，andwhohadbeenverykindtohim，madesomelittlerallyingsallywhichamusedhim；helaughed，andashedidso，sheclappedherhandsandtoldhimhewouldbeamanagain。Thesparkofhopewaskindled，andagainhewishedtolive。Almostfromthatmomenthisthoughtsbegantoturnlesstothehorrorsofthepast，andmoretothebestwayofmeetingthefuture。
　　Hisworstpainwasonbehalfofhisfatherandmother，andhowheshouldagainfacethem。Itstillseemedtohimthatthebestthingbothforhimandthemwouldbethatheshouldseverhimselffromthemcompletely，takewhatevermoneyhecouldrecoverfromPryer，andgotosomeplaceintheuttermostpartsoftheearth，whereheshouldnevermeetanyonewhohadknownhimatschoolorcollege，andstartafresh。OrperhapshemightgotothegoldfieldsinCaliforniaorAustralia，ofwhichsuchwonderfulaccountswerethenheard；therehemightevenmakehisfortune，andreturnasanoldmanmanyyearshence，unknowntoeveryone，andifso，hewouldliveatCambridge。Ashebuiltthesecastlesintheair，thesparkoflifebecameaflame，andhelongedforhealth，andforthefreedomwhich，nowthatsomuchofhissentencehadexpired，wasnotafterallveryfardistant。
　　Thenthingsbegantoshapethemselvesmoredefinitely。Whateverhappenedhewouldbeaclergymannolonger。Itwouldhavebeenpracticallyimpossibleforhimtohavefoundanothercuracy，evenifhehadbeensominded，buthewasnotsominded。Hehatedthelifehehadbeenleadingeversincehehadbeguntoreadfororders；hecouldnotargueaboutit，butsimplyheloatheditandwouldhavenomoreofit。Ashedweltontheprospectofbecomingalaymanagain，howeverdisgraced，herejoicedatwhathadbefallenhim，andfoundablessinginthisveryimprisonmentwhichhadatfirstseemedsuchanunspeakablemisfortune。
　　Perhapstheshockofsogreatachangeinhissurroundingshadacceleratedchangesinhisopinions，justasthecocoonsofsilkworms，whensentinbasketsbyrail，hatchbeforetheirtimethroughthenoveltyofheatandjolting。Buthoweverthismaybe，hisbeliefinthestoriesconcerningtheDeath，ResurrectionandAscensionofJesusChrist，andhencehisfaithinalltheotherChristianmiracles，haddroppedoffhimonceandforever。TheinvestigationhehadmadeinconsequenceofMrShaw’srebuke，hurriedthoughitwas，hadleftadeepimpressionuponhim，andnowhewaswellenoughtoreadhemadetheNewTestamenthischiefstudy，goingthroughitinthespiritwhichMrShawhaddesiredofhim，thatistosayasonewhowishedneithertobelievenordisbelieve，butcaredonlyaboutfindingoutwhetherheoughttobelieveorno。Themorehereadinthisspiritthemorethebalanceseemedtolieinfavourofunbelief，till，intheend，allfurtherdoubtbecameimpossible，andhesawplainlyenoughthat，whateverelsemightbetrue，thestorythatChristhaddied，cometolifeagain，andbeencarriedfromearththroughcloudsintotheheavenscouldnotnowbeacceptedbyunbiassedpeople。Itwaswellhehadfounditoutsosoon。Inonewayoranotheritwassuretomeethimsoonerorlater。Hewouldprobablyhaveseenityearsagoifhehadnotbeenhoodwinkedbypeoplewhowerepaidforhoodwinkinghim。
　　Whatshouldhehavedone，heaskedhimself，ifhehadnotmadehispresentdiscoverytillyearslaterwhenhewasmoredeeplycommittedtothelifeofaclergyman？Shouldhehavehadthecouragetofaceit，orwouldhenotmoreprobablyhaveevolvedsomeexcellentreasonforcontinuingtothinkashehadthoughthitherto？Shouldhehavehadthecouragetobreakawayevenfromhispresentcuracy？
　　Hethoughtnot，andknewnotwhethertobemorethankfulforhavingbeenshownhiserrororforhavingbeencaughtupandtwistedroundsothathecouldhardlyerrfarther，almostattheverymomentofhishavingdiscoveredit。Thepricehehadhadtopayforthisboonwaslightascomparedwiththeboonitself。Whatistooheavyapricetopayforhavingdutymadeatonceclearandeasyoffulfilmentinsteadofverydifficult？Hewassorryforhisfatherandmother，andhewassorryforMissMaitland，buthewasnolongersorryforhimself。
　　Itpuzzledhim，however，thatheshouldnothaveknownhowmuchhehadhatedbeingaclergymantillnow。Heknewthathedidnotparticularlylikeit，butifanyonehadaskedhimwhetherheactuallyhatedit，hewouldhaveansweredno。Isupposepeoplealmostalwayswantsomethingexternaltothemselves，torevealtothemtheirownlikesanddislikes。Ourmostassuredlikingshaveforthemostpartbeenarrivedatneitherbyintrospectionnorbyanyprocessofconsciousreasoning，butbytheboundingforthofthehearttowelcomethegospelproclaimedtoitbyanother。Wehearsomesaythatsuchandsuchathingisthusorthus，andinamomentthetrainthathasbeenlaidwithinus，butwhosepresenceweknewnot，flashesintoconsciousnessandperception。
　　OnlyayearagohehadboundedforthtowelcomeMrHawke’ssermon；
　　sincethenhehadboundedafteraCollegeofSpiritualPathology；
　　nowhewasinfullcryafterrationalismpureandsimple；howcouldhebesurethathispresentstateofmindwouldbemorelastingthanhispreviousones？Hecouldnotbecertain，buthefeltasthoughhewerenowonfirmergroundthanhehadeverbeenbefore，andnomatterhowfleetinghispresentopinionsmightprovetobe，hecouldnotbutactaccordingtothemtillhesawreasontochangethem。
　　Howimpossible，hereflected，itwouldhavebeenforhimtodothis，ifhehadremainedsurroundedbypeoplelikehisfatherandmother，orPryerandPryer’sfriends，andhisrector。Hehadbeenobserving，reflecting，andassimilatingallthesemonthswithnomoreconsciousnessofmentalgrowththanaschool-boyhasofgrowthofbody，butshouldhehavebeenabletoadmithisgrowthtohimself，andtoactuptohisincreasedstrengthifhehadremainedinconstantcloseconnectionwithpeoplewhoassuredhimsolemnlythathewasunderahallucination？Thecombinationagainsthimwasgreaterthanhisunaidedstrengthcouldhavebrokenthrough，andhefeltdoubtfulhowfaranyshocklessseverethantheonefromwhichhewassufferingwouldhavesufficedtofreehim。
　　Ashelayonhisbeddayafterdayslowlyrecoveringhewokeuptothefactwhichmostmenarriveatsoonerorlater，Imeanthatveryfewcaretwostrawsabouttruth，orhaveanyconfidencethatitisrighterandbettertobelievewhatistruethanwhatisuntrue，eventhoughbeliefintheuntruthmayseematfirstsightmostexpedient。
　　Yetitisonlythesefewwhocanbesaidtobelieveanythingatall；
　　therestaresimplyunbelieversindisguise。Perhaps，afterall，theselastareright。Theyhavenumbersandprosperityontheirside。Theyhaveallwhichtherationalistappealstoashistestsofrightandwrong。Right，accordingtohim，iswhatseemsrighttothemajorityofsensible，well-to-dopeople；weknowofnosafercriterionthanthis，butwhatdoesthedecisionthusarrivedatinvolve？Simplythis，thataconspiracyofsilenceaboutthingswhosetruthwouldbeimmediatelyapparenttodisinterestedenquirersisnotonlytolerablebutrighteousonthepartofthosewhoprofesstobeandtakemoneyforbeingparexcellenceguardiansandteachersoftruth。
　　Ernestsawnologicalescapefromthisconclusion。HesawthatbeliefonthepartoftheearlyChristiansinthemiraculousnatureofChrist’sResurrectionwasexplicable，withoutanysuppositionofmiracle。Theexplanationlayundertheeyesofanyonewhochosetotakeamoderatedegreeoftrouble；ithadbeenputbeforetheworldagainandagain，andtherehadbeennoseriousattempttorefuteit。