Atothertimeswhennotquitewellhewouldhavetheminforthefunofshakinghiswillatthem。Hewouldinhisimaginationcutthemalloutoneafteranotherandleavehismoneytofoundalmshouses，tillatlasthewasobligedtoputthemback，sothathemighthavethepleasureofcuttingthemoutagainthenexttimehewasinapassion。
　　Ofcourseifyoungpeopleallowtheirconducttobeinanywayinfluencedbyregardtothewillsoflivingpersonstheyaredoingverywrongandmustexpecttobesufferersintheend，neverthelessthepowersofwill-danglingandwill-shakingaresoliabletoabuseandarecontinuallymadesogreatanengineoftorturethatIwouldpassalaw，ifIcould，toincapacitateanymanfrommakingawillforthreemonthsfromthedateofeachoffenceineitheroftheaboverespectsandletthebenchofmagistratesorjudge，beforewhomhehasbeenconvicted，disposeofhispropertyastheyshallthinkrightandreasonableifhediesduringthetimethathiswill-
　　makingpowerissuspended。
　　MrPontifexwouldhavetheboysintothedining-room。“MydearJohn，mydearTheobald。”hewouldsay，“lookatme。IbeganlifewithnothingbuttheclotheswithwhichmyfatherandmothersentmeuptoLondon。MyfathergavemetenshillingsandmymotherfiveforpocketmoneyandIthoughtthemmunificent。Ineveraskedmyfatherforashillinginthewholecourseofmylife，nortookaughtfromhimbeyondthesmallsumheusedtoallowmemonthlytillIwasinreceiptofasalary。ImademyownwayandIshallexpectmysonstodothesame。Praydon’ttakeitintoyourheadsthatIamgoingtowearmylifeoutmakingmoneythatmysonsmayspenditforme。IfyouwantmoneyyoumustmakeitforyourselvesasIdid，forIgiveyoumywordIwillnotleaveapennytoeitherofyouunlessyoushowthatyoudeserveit。YoungpeopleseemnowadaystoexpectallkindsofluxuriesandindulgenceswhichwereneverheardofwhenIwasaboy。Why，myfatherwasacommoncarpenter，andhereyouarebothofyouatpublicschools，costingmeeversomanyhundredsayear，whileIatyouragewasploddingawaybehindadeskinmyUncleFairlie’scountinghouse。WhatshouldInothavedoneifI
　　hadhadonehalfofyouradvantages？Youshouldbecomedukesorfoundnewempiresinundiscoveredcountries，andeventhenIdoubtwhetheryouwouldhavedoneproportionatelysomuchasIhavedone。
　　No，no，Ishallseeyouthroughschoolandcollegeandthen，ifyouplease，youwillmakeyourownwayintheworld。”
　　Inthismannerhewouldworkhimselfupintosuchastateofvirtuousindignationthathewouldsometimesthrashtheboysthenandthereuponsomepretextinventedatthemoment。
　　Andyet，aschildrenwent，theyoungPontifexeswerefortunate；
　　therewouldbetenfamiliesofyoungpeopleworseoffforonebetter；theyateanddrankgoodwholesomefood，sleptincomfortablebeds，hadthebestdoctorstoattendthemwhentheywereillandthebesteducationthatcouldbehadformoney。ThewantoffreshairdoesnotseemmuchtoaffectthehappinessofchildreninaLondonalley：thegreaterpartofthemsingandplayasthoughtheywereonamoorinScotland。Sotheabsenceofagenialmentalatmosphereisnotcommonlyrecognisedbychildrenwhohaveneverknownit。
　　Youngpeoplehaveamarvellousfacultyofeitherdyingoradaptingthemselvestocircumstances。Eveniftheyareunhappy——veryunhappy——itisastonishinghoweasilytheycanbepreventedfromfindingitout，oratanyratefromattributingittoanyothercausethantheirownsinfulness。
　　ToparentswhowishtoleadaquietlifeIwouldsay：Tellyourchildrenthattheyareverynaughty——muchnaughtierthanmostchildren。Pointtotheyoungpeopleofsomeacquaintancesasmodelsofperfectionandimpressyourownchildrenwithadeepsenseoftheirowninferiority。Youcarrysomanymoregunsthantheydothattheycannotfightyou。Thisiscalledmoralinfluence，anditwillenableyoutobouncethemasmuchasyouplease。Theythinkyouknowandtheywillnothaveyetcaughtyoulyingoftenenoughtosuspectthatyouarenottheunworldlyandscrupulouslytruthfulpersonwhichyourepresentyourselftobe；noryetwilltheyknowhowgreatacowardyouare，norhowsoonyouwillrunaway，iftheyfightyouwithpersistencyandjudgement。Youkeepthediceandthrowthembothforyourchildrenandyourself。Loadthemthen，foryoucaneasilymanagetostopyourchildrenfromexaminingthem。
　　Tellthemhowsingularlyindulgentyouare；insistontheincalculablebenefityouconferreduponthem，firstlyinbringingthemintotheworldatall，butmoreparticularlyinbringingthemintoitasyourownchildrenratherthananyoneelse’s。Saythatyouhavetheirhighestinterestsatstakewheneveryouareoutoftemperandwishtomakeyourselfunpleasantbywayofbalmtoyoursoul。Harpmuchuponthesehighestinterests。FeedthemspirituallyuponsuchbrimstoneandtreacleasthelateBishopofWinchester’sSundaystories。Youholdallthetrumpcards，orifyoudonotyoucanfilchthem；ifyouplaythemwithanythinglikejudgementyouwillfindyourselvesheadsofhappy，united，God-
　　fearingfamilies，evenasdidmyoldfriendMrPontifex。True，yourchildrenwillprobablyfindoutallaboutitsomeday，butnotuntiltoolatetobeofmuchservicetothemorinconveniencetoyourself。
　　Somesatiristshavecomplainedoflifeinasmuchasallthepleasuresbelongtotheforepartofitandwemustseethemdwindletillweareleft，itmaybe，withthemiseriesofadecrepitoldage。
　　Tomeitseemsthatyouthislikespring，anoverpraisedseason——
　　delightfulifithappentobeafavouredone，butinpracticeveryrarelyfavouredandmoreremarkable，asageneralrule，forbitingeastwindsthangenialbreezes。Autumnisthemellowerseason，andwhatweloseinflowerswemorethangaininfruits。Fontenelleattheageofninety，beingaskedwhatwasthehappiesttimeofhislife，saidhedidnotknowthathehadeverbeenmuchhappierthanhethenwas，butthatperhapshisbestyearshadbeenthosewhenhewasbetweenfifty-fiveandseventy-five，andDrJohnsonplacedthepleasuresofoldagefarhigherthanthoseofyouth。True，inoldageweliveundertheshadowofDeath，which，likeaswordofDamocles，maydescendatanymoment，butwehavesolongfoundlifetobeanaffairofbeingratherfrightenedthanhurtthatwehavebecomelikethepeoplewholiveunderVesuvius，andchanceitwithoutmuchmisgiving。
　　AfewwordsmaysufficeforthegreaternumberoftheyoungpeopletowhomIhavebeenalludingintheforegoingchapter。ElizaandMaria，thetwoeldergirls，wereneitherexactlyprettynorexactlyplain，andwereinallrespectsmodelyoungladies，butAletheawasexceedinglyprettyandofalively，affectionatedisposition，whichwasinsharpcontrastwiththoseofherbrothersandsisters。Therewasatraceofhergrandfather，notonlyinherface，butinherloveoffun，ofwhichherfatherhadnone，thoughnotwithoutacertainboisterousandrathercoarsequasi-humourwhichpassedforwitwithmany。
　　Johngrewuptobeagood-looking，gentlemanlyfellow，withfeaturesatrifletooregularandfinelychiselled。Hedressedhimselfsonicely，hadsuchgoodaddress，andstucksosteadilytohisbooksthathebecameafavouritewithhismasters；hehad，however，aninstinctfordiplomacy，andwaslesspopularwiththeboys。Hisfather，inspiteofthelectureshewouldattimesreadhim，wasinawayproudofhimashegrewolder；hesawinhim，moreover，onewhowouldprobablydevelopintoagoodmanofbusiness，andinwhosehandstheprospectsofhishousewouldnotbelikelytodecline。
　　Johnknewhowtohumourhisfather，andwasatacomparativelyearlyageadmittedtoasmuchofhisconfidenceasitwasinhisnaturetobestowonanyone。
　　HisbrotherTheobaldwasnomatchforhim，knewit，andacceptedhisfate。Hewasnotsogood-lookingashisbrother，norwashisaddresssogood；asachildhehadbeenviolentlypassionate；now，however，hewasreservedandshy，and，Ishouldsay，indolentinmindandbody。HewaslesstidythanJohn，lesswellabletoasserthimself，andlessskilfulinhumouringthecapricesofhisfather。
　　Idonotthinkhecouldhavelovedanyoneheartily，buttherewasnooneinhisfamilycirclewhodidnotrepress，ratherthaninvitehisaffection，withtheexceptionofhissisterAlethea，andshewastooquickandlivelyforhissomewhatmorosetemper。Hewasalwaysthescapegoat，andIhavesometimesthoughthehadtwofatherstocontendagainst——hisfatherandhisbrotherJohn；athirdandfourthalsomightalmostbeaddedinhissistersElizaandMaria。Perhapsifhehadfelthisbondageveryacutelyhewouldnothaveputupwithit，buthewasconstitutionallytimid，andthestronghandofhisfatherknittedhimintotheclosestoutwardharmonywithhisbrotherandsisters。
　　Theboyswereofusetotheirfatherinonerespect。Imeanthatheplayedthemoffagainsteachother。Hekeptthembutpoorlysuppliedwithpocketmoney，andtoTheobaldwouldurgethattheclaimsofhiselderbrotherwerenaturallyparamount，whileheinsistedtoJohnuponthefactthathehadanumerousfamily，andwouldaffirmsolemnlythathisexpensesweresoheavythatathisdeaththerewouldbeverylittletodivide。Hedidnotcarewhethertheycomparednotesorno，providedtheydidnotdosoinhispresence。Theobalddidnotcomplainevenbehindhisfather’sback。
　　Iknewhimasintimatelyasanyonewaslikelytoknowhimasachild，atschool，andagainatCambridge，butheveryrarelymentionedhisfather’snameevenwhilehisfatherwasalive，andneveronceinmyhearingafterwards。Atschoolhewasnotactivelydislikedashisbrotherwas，buthewastoodullanddeficientinanimalspiritstobepopular。
　　Beforehewaswelloutofhisfrocksitwassettledthathewastobeaclergyman。ItwasseemlythatMrPontifex，thewell-knownpublisherofreligiousbooks，shoulddevoteatleastoneofhissonstotheChurch；thismighttendtobringbusiness，oratanyratetokeepitinthefirm；besides，MrPontifexhadmoreorlessinterestwithbishopsandChurchdignitariesandmighthopethatsomeprefermentwouldbeofferedtohissonthroughhisinfluence。Theboy’sfuturedestinywaskeptwellbeforehiseyesfromhisearliestchildhoodandwastreatedasamatterwhichhehadalreadyvirtuallysettledbyhisacquiescence。Neverthelessacertainshowoffreedomwasallowedhim。MrPontifexwouldsayitwasonlyrighttogiveaboyhisoption，andwasmuchtooequitabletogrudgehissonwhateverbenefithecouldderivefromthis。Hehadthegreatesthorror，hewouldexclaim，ofdrivinganyyoungmanintoaprofessionwhichhedidnotlike。Farbeitfromhimtoputpressureuponasonofhisasregardsanyprofessionandmuchlesswhensosacredacallingastheministrywasconcerned。Hewouldtalkinthiswaywhentherewerevisitorsinthehouseandwhenhissonwasintheroom。Hespokesowiselyandsowellthathislisteningguestsconsideredhimaparagonofright-mindedness。Hespoke，too，withsuchemphasisandhisrosygillsandbaldheadlookedsobenevolentthatitwasdifficultnottobecarriedawaybyhisdiscourse。I