首页 >出版文学> The Way of All Flesh>第28章
  Whenallthishadbeendoneshebecamemoreeasyinhermind。Shetalkedprincipallyabouthernephew。“Don’tscoldhim。”shesaid,“ifheisvolatile,andcontinuallytakesthingsuponlytothrowthemdownagain。Howcanhefindouthisstrengthorweaknessotherwise?Aman’sprofession。”shesaid,andhereshegaveoneofherwickedlittlelaughs,“isnotlikehiswife,whichhemusttakeonceforall,forbetterforworse,withoutproofbeforehand。Lethimgohereandthere,andlearnhistruestlikingbyfindingoutwhat,afterall,hecatcheshimselfturningtomosthabitually——thenlethimsticktothis;butIdaresayErnestwillbefortyorfiveandfortybeforehesettlesdown。ThenallhispreviousinfidelitieswillworktogethertohimforgoodifheistheboyI
  hopeheis。
  “Aboveall。”shecontinued,“donotlethimworkuptohisfullstrength,exceptonceortwiceinhislifetime;nothingiswelldonenorworthdoingunless,takeitallround,ithascomeprettyeasily。TheobaldandChristinawouldgivehimapinchofsaltandtellhimtoputitonthetailsofthesevendeadlyvirtues;“——hereshelaughedagaininheroldmanneratoncesomockingandsosweet——
  “IthinkifhelikespancakeshehadperhapsbettereatthemonShroveTuesday,butthisisenough。”Thesewerethelastcoherentwordsshespoke。Fromthattimeshegrewcontinuallyworse,andwasneverfreefromdeliriumtillherdeath——whichtookplacelessthanafortnightafterwards,totheinexpressiblegriefofthosewhoknewandlovedher。
  LettershadbeenwrittentoMissPontifex’sbrothersandsisters,andoneandallcamepost-hastetoRoughborough。Beforetheyarrivedthepoorladywasalreadydelirious,andforthesakeofherownpeaceatthelastIamhalfgladsheneverrecoveredconsciousness。
  Ihadknownthesepeoplealltheirlives,asnonecanknoweachotherbutthosewhohaveplayedtogetheraschildren;Iknewhowtheyhadallofthem——perhapsTheobaldleast,butallofthemmoreorless——madeherlifeaburdentoheruntilthedeathofherfatherhadmadeherherownmistress,andIwasdispleasedattheircomingoneaftertheothertoRoughborough,andinquiringwhethertheirsisterhadrecoveredconsciousnesssufficientlytobeabletoseethem。Itwasknownthatshehadsentformeonbeingtakenill,andthatIremainedatRoughborough,andIownIwasangeredbythemingledairofsuspicion,defianceandinquisitiveness,withwhichtheyregardedme。Theywouldall,exceptTheobald,Ibelievehavecutmedownrightiftheyhadnotbelievedmetoknowsomethingtheywantedtoknowthemselves,andmighthavesomechanceoflearningfromme——foritwasplainIhadbeeninsomewayconcernedwiththemakingoftheirsister’swill。Noneofthemsuspectedwhattheostensiblenatureofthiswouldbe,butIthinktheyfearedMissPontifexwasabouttoleavemoneyforpublicuses。Johnsaidtomeinhisblandestmannerthathefanciedherememberedtohaveheardhissistersaythatshethoughtofleavingmoneytofoundacollegeforthereliefofdramaticauthorsindistress;tothisImadenorejoinder,andIhavenodoubthissuspicionsweredeepened。
  Whentheendcame,IgotMissPontifex’ssolicitortowriteandtellherbrothersandsistershowshehadlefthermoney:theywerenotunnaturallyfurious,andwenteachtohisorherseparatehomewithoutattendingthefuneral,andwithoutpayinganyattentiontomyself。Thiswasperhapsthekindestthingtheycouldhavedonebyme,fortheirbehaviourmademesoangrythatIbecamealmostreconciledtoAlethea’swilloutofpleasureattheangerithadaroused。ButforthisIshouldhavefeltthewillkeenly,ashavingbeenplacedbyitinthepositionwhichofallothersIhadbeenmostanxioustoavoid,andashavingsaddledmewithaveryheavyresponsibility。Stillitwasimpossibleformetoescape,andI
  couldonlyletthingstaketheircourse。
  MissPontifexhadexpressedawishtobeburiedatPaleham;inthecourseofthenextfewdaysIthereforetookthebodythither。I
  hadnotbeentoPalehamsincethedeathofmyfathersomesixyearsearlier。Ihadoftenwishedtogothere,buthadshrunkfromdoingsothoughmysisterhadbeentwoorthreetimes。Icouldnotbeartoseethehousewhichhadbeenmyhomeforsomanyyearsofmylifeinthehandsofstrangers;toringceremoniouslyatabellwhichI
  hadneveryetpulledexceptasaboyinjest;tofeelthatIhadnothingtodowithagardeninwhichIhadinchildhoodgatheredsomanyanosegay,andwhichhadseemedmyownformanyyearsafterI
  hadreachedman’sestate;toseetheroomsbereftofeveryfamiliarfeature,andmadesounfamiliarinspiteoftheirfamiliarity。Hadtherebeenanysufficientreason,Ishouldhavetakenthesethingsasamatterofcourse,andshouldnodoubthavefoundthemmuchworseinanticipationthaninreality,butastherehadbeennospecialreasonwhyIshouldgotoPalehamIhadhithertoavoideddoingso。Now,however,mygoingwasanecessity,andIconfessI
  neverfeltmoresubduedthanIdidonarrivingtherewiththedeadplaymateofmychildhood。
  IfoundthevillagemorechangedthanIhadexpected。Therailwayhadcomethere,andabrandnewyellowbrickstationwasonthesiteofoldMrandMrsPontifex’scottage。Nothingbutthecarpenter’sshopwasnowstanding。IsawmanyfacesIknew,buteveninsixyearstheyseemedtohavegrownwonderfullyolder。Someoftheveryoldweredead,andtheoldweregettingveryoldintheirstead。I
  feltlikethechangelinginthefairystorywhocamebackafterasevenyears’sleep。Everyoneseemedgladtoseeme,thoughIhadnevergiventhemparticularcausetobeso,andeveryonewhorememberedoldMrandMrsPontifexspokewarmlyofthemandwerepleasedattheirgranddaughter’swishingtobelaidnearthem。
  EnteringthechurchyardandstandinginthetwilightofagustycloudyeveningonthespotclosebesideoldMrsPontifex’sgravewhichIhadchosenforAlethea’s,Ithoughtofthemanytimesthatshe,whowouldlietherehenceforth,andI,whomustsurelylieonedayinsomesuchanotherplacethoughwhenandwhereIknewnot,hadrompedoverthisveryspotaschildishloverstogether。NextmorningIfollowedhertothegrave,andinduecoursesetupaplainuprightslabtohermemoryaslikeasmightbetothoseoverthegravesofhergrandmotherandgrandfather。Igavethedatesandplacesofherbirthanddeath,butaddednothingexceptthatthisstonewassetupbyonewhohadknownandlovedher。KnowinghowfondshehadbeenofmusicIhadbeenhalfinclinedatonetimetoinscribeafewbarsofmusic,ifIcouldfindanywhichseemedsuitabletohercharacter,butIknewhowmuchshewouldhavedislikedanythingsingularinconnectionwithhertombstoneanddidnotdoit。
  Before,however,Ihadcometothisconclusion,IhadthoughtthatErnestmightbeabletohelpmetotherightthing,andhadwrittentohimuponthesubject。ThefollowingistheanswerIreceived-
  “DearGodpapa,——IsendyouthebestbitIcanthinkof;itisthesubjectofthelastofHandel’ssixgrandfuguesandgoesthus:-
  [Musicscore]
  Itwoulddobetterforaman,especiallyforanoldmanwhowasverysorryforthings,thanforawoman,butIcannotthinkofanythingbetter;ifyoudonotlikeitforAuntAletheaIshallkeepitformyself——YouraffectionateGodson,ERNESTPONTIFEX。”
  Wasthisthelittleladwhocouldgetsweetiesfortwo-pencebutnotfortwo-pence-halfpenny?Dear,dearme,Ithoughttomyself,howthesebabesandsucklingsdogiveusthego-bysurely。Choosinghisownepitaphatfifteenasforamanwho“hadbeenverysorryforthings。”andsuchastrainasthat——whyitmighthavedoneforLeonardodaVincihimself。ThenIsettheboydownasaconceitedyoungjackanapes,whichnodoubthewas,——butsoareagreatmanyotheryoungpeopleofErnest’sage。
  IfTheobaldandChristinahadnotbeentoowellpleasedwhenMissPontifexfirsttookErnestinhand,theywerestilllesssowhentheconnectionbetweenthetwowasinterruptedsoprematurely。TheysaidtheyhadmadesurefromwhattheirsisterhadsaidthatshewasgoingtomakeErnestherheir。Idonotthinkshehadgiventhemsomuchasahinttothiseffect。TheobaldindeedgaveErnesttounderstandthatshehaddonesoinaletterwhichwillbegivenshortly,butifTheobaldwantedtomakehimselfdisagreeable,atriflelightasairwouldforthwithassumeinhisimaginationwhateverformwasmostconvenienttohim。IdonotthinktheyhadevenmadeuptheirmindswhatAletheawastodowithhermoneybeforetheyknewofherbeingatthepointofdeath,andasIhavesaidalready,iftheyhadthoughtitlikelythatErnestwouldbemadeheirovertheirownheadswithouttheirhavingatanyratealifeinterestinthebequest,theywouldhavesoonthrownobstaclesinthewayoffurtherintimacybetweenauntandnephew。
  This,however,didnotbartheirrighttofeelingaggrievednowthatneithertheynorErnesthadtakenanythingatall,andtheycouldprofessdisappointmentontheirboy’sbehalfwhichtheywouldhavebeentooproudtoadmitupontheirown。Infact,itwasonlyamiableofthemtobedisappointedunderthesecircumstances。
  Christinasaidthatthewillwassimplyfraudulent,andwasconvincedthatitcouldbeupsetifsheandTheobaldwenttherightwaytowork。Theobald,shesaid,shouldgobeforetheLordChancellor,notinfullcourtbutinchambers,wherehecouldexplainthewholematter;or,perhapsitwouldbeevenbetterifsheweretogoherself——andIdarenottrustmyselftodescribethereverietowhichthislastideagaverise。IbelieveintheendTheobalddied,andtheLordChancellorwhohadbecomeawidowerafewweeksearliermadeheranoffer,which,however,shefirmlybutnotungratefullydeclined;sheshouldever,shesaid,continuetothinkofhimasafriend——atthispointthecookcamein,sayingthebutcherhadcalled,andwhatwouldshepleasetoorder。
  IthinkTheobaldmusthavehadanideathattherewassomethingbehindthebequesttome,buthesaidnothingaboutittoChristina。
  Hewasangryandfeltwronged,becausehecouldnotgetatAletheatogiveherapieceofhismindanymorethanhehadbeenabletogetathisfather。“Itissomeanofpeople。”heexclaimedtohimself,“toinflictaninjuryofthissort,andthenshirkfacingthosewhomtheyhaveinjured;letushopethat,atanyrate,theyandImaymeetinHeaven。”Butofthishewasdoubtful,forwhenpeoplehaddonesogreatawrongasthis,itwashardlytobesupposedthattheywouldgotoHeavenatall——andasforhismeetingtheminanotherplace,theideaneversomuchasenteredhismind。
  Onesoangryand,oflate,solittleusedtocontradictionmightbetrusted,however,toavengehimselfuponsomeone,andTheobaldhadlongsincedevelopedtheorgan,bymeansofwhichhemightventspleenwithleastriskandgreatestsatisfactiontohimself。Thisorgan,itmaybeguessed,wasnothingelsethanErnest;toErnestthereforeheproceededtounburdenhimself,notpersonally,butbyletter。
  “Yououghttoknow。”hewrote,“thatyourAuntAletheahadgivenyourmotherandmetounderstandthatitwasherwishtomakeyouherheir——intheevent,ofcourse,ofyourconductingyourselfinsuchamannerastogiveherconfidenceinyou;asamatteroffact,however,shehasleftyounothing,andthewholeofherpropertyhasgonetoyourgodfather,MrOverton。YourmotherandIarewillingtohopethatifshehadlivedlongeryouwouldyethavesucceededinwinninghergoodopinion,butitistoolatetothinkofthisnow。
  “Thecarpenteringandorgan-buildingmustatoncebediscontinued。