LevinlookedmoreattentivelyatVankaParmenovandhiswife。
　　Theywereloadingahaycockontothewagonnotfarfromhim。IvanParmenovwasstandingonthewagon，taking，layinginplace，andstampingdownthehugebundlesofhay，whichhisprettyyoungwifedeftlyhandeduptohim，atfirstinarmfuls，andthenonthepitchfork。Theyoungwifeworkedeasily，merrily，anddeftly。Theclose-packedhaydidnotoncebreakawaybyherfork。Firstsheteddedit，stucktheforkintoit，thenwitharapid，supplemovementleanedthewholeweightofherbodyonit，andatoncewithabendofherbackundertheredbeltshedrewherselfup，andarchingherfullbosomunderthelongwhiteapron，withadeftturnswungtheforkinherarms，andflungthebundleofhayhighontothewagon。Ivan，obviouslydoinghisbesttosavehereveryminuteofunnecessarylabor，madehaste，openingwidehisarmstoclutchthebundleandlayitinthewagon。Assherakedtogetherwhatwasleftofthehay，theyoungwifeshookoffthebitsofhaythathadfallenonherneck，and，arrangingtheredkerchiefthatwasgonebackwardbaringherwhitebrow，notbrownedbythesun，shecreptunderthewagontotieuptheload。Ivandirectedherhowtofastenthecordtothecrosspiece，andatsomethingshesaidhelaughedaloud。
　　Intheexpressionsofbothfaceswastobeseenvigorous，young，freshlyawakenedlove。
　　[NextChapter][TableofContents]
　　TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart3，Chapter12[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter12Theloadwastiedon。Ivanjumpeddownandtookthequiet，sleekhorsebythebridle。Theyoungwifeflungtherakeupontheload；withaboldstep，swingingherarms，shewenttojointhewomen，whowereformingaringforthehaymakers’dance。Ivandroveofftotheroadandfellintolinewiththeotherloadedwagons。Thepeasantwomen，withtheirrakesontheirshoulders，gaywithbrightflowers，andchatteringwithringing，merryvoices，walkedbehindthehaywagon。Onewilduntrainedfemalevoicebrokeintoasong，andsangitalonethroughaverse，andthenthesameversewasunanimouslytakenupandrepeatedbyhalfahundredstronghealthyvoices，ofallsorts，coarseandfine。
　　Thewomen，allsinging，begantocomeclosetoLevin，andhefeltasthoughastormwereswoopingdownuponhimwithathunderofmerriment。
　　Thestormswoopeddown，envelopedhimandthehaycockonwhichhewaslying，andtheotherhaycocks，andwagonloads，andthewholemeadowanddistantfieldsallseemedtobeshakingandsingingtothemeasuresofthiswildmerrysong，withitsshoutsandwhistlesandclapping。Levinfeltenviousofthishealthandmirthfulness；helongedtotakepartintheexpressionofthisjoyoflife。Buthecoulddonothing，andhadtolieandlookonandlisten。Whenthepeasants，withtheirsinging，hadvanishedoutofsightandhearing，awearyfeelingofdespondencyathisownisolation，hisphysicalinactivity，hisalienationfromthisworld，cameoverLevin。
　　Someoftheverypeasantswhohadbeenmostactiveinwranglingwithhimoverthehay，somewhomhehadtreatedwithcontumely，andwhohadtriedtocheathim-thoseverypeasantshadgreetedhimgood-humoredly，andevidentlyhadnot，wereincapableofhaving，anyfeelingofrancoragainsthim，anyregret，anyrecollectionevenofhavingtriedtodeceivehim。Allthatwasdrownedinaseaofmerrycommonlabor。Godgavetheday，Godgavethestrength。Andthedayandthestrengthwereconsecratedtolabor，andthatlaborwasitsownreward。Forwhomthelabor？Whatwouldbeitsfruits？Thesewereidleconsiderations-besidethepoint。
　　OftenLevinhadadmiredthislife，oftenhehadasenseofenvyofthemenwholedthislife；buttoday，forthefirsttime，especiallyundertheinfluenceofwhathehadseenintheattitudeofIvanParmenovtohisyoungwife，theideapresenteditselfdefinitelytohismindthatitwasinhispowertoexchangethedreary，artificial，idle，andindividualisticlifehewasleadingforthislaborious，pure，andgenerallydelightfullife。
　　Theoldmanwhohadbeensittingbesidehimhadlongagogonehome；thepeoplehadallgonetheirdifferentways。Thosewholivednearhadgonehome，whilethosewhocamefromafarweregatheredintoagroupforsupper，andtospendthenightinthemeadow。Levin，unobservedbythepeasants，stilllayonthehaycock，andstilllookedon，andlistened，andmused。Thepeasantswhoremainedforthenightinthemeadowscarcelysleptalltheshortsummernight。Atfirsttherewasthesoundofmerrytalkandgenerallaughingoverthesupper，thensingingagain，andlaughter。
　　Allthelongdayoftoilhadleftnotraceinthemsavelightnessofheart。Beforetheearlydawnallwashushed。Nothingwastobeheardbutthenightsoundsofthefrogsthatneverceasedinthemarsh，andthehorsessnortinginthemistthatroseoverthemeadowbeforemorning。Rousinghimself，Levingotupfromthehaycock，and，lookingatthestars，hesawthatthenightwasover。
　　`Well，whatamIgoingtodo？HowamItosetaboutit？’hesaidtohimself，tryingtoexpresstohimselfallthethoughtsandfeelingshehadpassedthroughinthisbriefnight。Allthethoughtsandfeelingshehadpassedthroughfellintothreeseparatetrainsofthought。Onewastherenunciationofhisoldlife，ofhisutterlyuselesseducation。Thisrenunciationgavehimsatisfaction，andwaseasyandsimple。Anotherseriesofthoughtsandmentalimagesrelatedtothelifehelongedtolivenow。
　　Thesimplicity，thepurity，thesanityofthislifehefeltclearly，andhewasconvincedhewouldfindinititscontent，itspeace，anditsdignity，ofthelackofwhichhewassomiserablyconscious。Butathirdseriesofideasturneduponthequestionofhowtoeffectthistransitionfromtheoldlifetothenew。Andtherenothingtookclearshapeforhim。`A
　　wife。Workandthenecessityofwork。LeavePokrovskoe？Buyland？Becomeamemberofapeasantcommunity？Marryapeasantgirl？HowamItosetaboutit？’heaskedhimselfagain，andcouldnotfindananswer。`Ihaven’tsleptallnight，though，andIcan’tthinkitoutclearly，’hesaidtohimself。`I’llworkitoutlater。Onething’scertain-thisnighthasdecidedmyfate。Allmyolddreamsofhomelifewereabsurd，nottherealthing，’hetoldhimself。`It’salleversomuchsimplerandbetter……’
　　`Howbeautiful！’hethought，lookingatthestrange，asitwere，mother-of-pearlshellofwhitefleecycloudletsrestingrightoverhisheadinthemiddleofthesky。`Howexquisiteitallisinthisexquisitenight！Andwhenwastheretimeforthatcloudshelltoform？JustnowI
　　lookedatthesky，andtherewasnothinginit-onlytwowhitestreaks。
　　Yes，andsoimperceptibly，too，myviewsoflifechanged！’
　　Hewentoutofthemeadowandwalkedalongthehighroadtowardthevillage。Aslightwindarose，andtheskylookedgrayandsullen。Thegloomymomenthadcomethatusuallyprecedesthedawn，thefulltriumphoflightoverdarkness。
　　Shrinkingfromthecold，Levinwalkedrapidly，lookingattheground。`What’sthat？Someonecoming，’hethought，catchingthetinkleofbells，andliftinghishead。Fortypacesfromhimacarriageandfourwiththeluggageonitstopwasdrivingtowardhimalongthegrassyhighroadonwhichhewaswalking。Theshafthorsesweretiltedagainsttheshaftsbytheruts，butthedexterousdriversittingontheboxheldtheshaftovertheruts，sothatthewheelsranonthesmoothpartoftheroad。
　　ThiswasallLevinnoticed，andwithoutwonderingwhoitcouldbe，hegazedabsentlyatthecoach。
　　Inthecoachwasanoldladydozinginonecorner，andatthewindow，evidentlyonlyjustawake，satayounggirlholdinginbothhandstheribbonsofawhitecap。Withafacefulloflightandthought，fullofasubtle，complexinnerlife，thatwasremotefromLevin，shewasgazingfromthewindowattheglowofthesunrise。
　　Attheveryinstantwhenthisapparitionwasvanishing，thetruthfuleyesglancedathim。Sherecognizedhim，andherfacelightedupwithwonderingdelight。
　　Hecouldnotbemistaken。Therewerenoothereyeslikethoseinalltheworld。Therewasonlyonecreatureintheworldthatcouldconcentrateforhimallthebrightnessandmeaningoflife。Itwasshe。ItwasKitty。
　　HecomprehendedthatshewasdrivingtoErgushovofromtherailwaystation。
　　AndeverythingthathadbeenstirringLevinduringthissleeplessnight，alltheresolutionshehadmade，allvanishedatonce。Herecalledwithhorrorhisdreamsofmarryingapeasantgirl。Thereonly，inthiscarriagethathadcrossedovertotheothersideoftheroad，andwasrapidlydisappearing-thereonlycouldhefindthesolutionoftheriddleofhislife，whichhadweighedsoagonizinglyuponhimoflate。
　　Shedidnotlookoutagain。Thesoundofthecarriagespringswasnolongeraudible，thebellscouldscarcelybeheard。Thebarkingofdogsshowedthecarriagehadreachedthevillage，andallthatwasleftwastheemptyfieldsallround，thevillageinfront，andhehimselfisolatedandapartfromitall，wanderinglonelyalongthedesertedhighroad。
　　Heglancedatthesky，expectingtofindtherethecloudshellhehadbeenadmiringandtakingasthesymboloftheideasandfeelingsofthatnight。Therewasnothingintheskyintheleastlikeashell。
　　There，intheremoteheightsabove，amysteriouschangehadbeenaccomplished。
　　Therewasnotraceofashell，andtherewasstretchedoverfullyhalftheskyanevencoveroftiny，andevertinier，cloudlets。Theskyhadgrownblueandbright；andwiththesamesoftness，butwiththesameremoteness，itmethisquestioninggaze。
　　`No，’hesaidtohimself，`howevergoodthatlifeofsimplicityandtoilmaybe，Icannotgobacktoit。Iloveher。’
　　[NextChapter][TableofContents]TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart3，Chapter13[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter13NonebutthosewhoweremostintimatewithAlexeiAlexandrovichknewthat，whileonthesurfacethecoldestandmostrationalofmen，hehadoneweaknessquiteopposedtothegeneraltrendofhischaracter。AlexeiAlexandrovichcouldnothearorseeachildorwomancryingwithoutbeingmoved。Thesightoftearsthrewhimintoastateofnervousagitation，andheutterlylostallpowerofreflection。Theheadclerkofhisboardandthesecretarywereawareofthis，andusedtowarnwomenwhocamewithpetitionsonnoaccounttogivewaytotears，iftheydidnotwanttoruintheirchances。
　　`Hewillgetangry，andwillnotlistentoyou，’theyusedtosay。And，asafact，insuchcasestheemotionaldisturbancesetupinAlexeiAlexandrovichbythesightoftearsfoundexpressioninhastyanger。`Icandonothing。
　　Kindlyleavetheroom！’hewouldusuallyshoutinsuchcases。
　　When，returningfromtheraces，AnnahadinformedhimofherrelationswithVronsky，andimmediatelyafterwardhadburstintotears，hidingherfaceinherhands，AlexeiAlexandrovich，forallthefuryarousedinhimagainsther，wasawareatthesametimeofarushofthatemotionaldisturbancealwaysproducedinhimbytears。Consciousofit，andconsciousthatanyexpressionofhisfeelingsatthatminutewouldbeoutofkeepingwiththesituation，hetriedtosuppresseverymanifestationoflifeinhimself，andsoneitherstirrednorlookedather。ThiswaswhathadcausedthatstrangeexpressionofdeathlikerigidityinhisfacewhichhadsoimpressedAnna。
　　Whentheyreachedthehousehehelpedhertogetoutofthecarriage，and，makinganefforttomasterhimself，tookleaveofherwithhisusualurbanity，andutteredthatphrasethatboundhimtonothing；hesaidthattomorrowhewouldletherknowhisdecision。
　　Hiswife’swords，confirminghisworstsuspicions，hadsentacruelpangtotheheartofAlexeiAlexandrovich。Thatpangwasintensifiedbythestrangefeelingofphysicalpityforherengenderedbyhertears。
　　ButwhenhewasallaloneinthecarriageAlexeiAlexandrovich，tohissurpriseanddelight，feltcompletereliefbothfromthispityandfromthedoubtsandagoniesofjealousy。
　　Heexperiencedthesensationsofamanwhohashadatoothoutaftersufferinglongfromtoothache。Afterafearfulagonyandasenseofsomethinghuge，biggerthantheheaditself，beingtornoutofhisjaw，thesufferer，hardlyabletobelieveinhisowngoodluck，feelsallatoncethatwhathassolongenvenomedhisexistenceandenchainedhisattention，existsnolonger，andthathecanliveandthinkagain，andtakeaninterestinotherthingsbesideshistooth。ThisfeelingAlexeiAlexandrovichwasexperiencing。Theagonyhadbeenstrangeandterrible，butnowitwasover；
　　hefeltthathecouldliveagainandthinkofsomethingotherthanhiswife。
　　`Nohonor，noheart，noreligion；acorruptwoman。Ialwaysknewitandalwayssawit，thoughItriedtodeceivemyselftospareher，’hesaidtohimself。Anditactuallyseemedtohimthathealwayshadseenit:herecalledincidentsoftheirpastlife，inwhichhehadneverseenanythingwrongbefore-nowtheseincidentsprovedclearlythatshehadalwaysbeenacorruptwoman。`Imadeamistakeinlinkingmylifetohers；
　　buttherewasnothingwronginmymistake，andsoIcannotbeunhappy。
　　It’snotIwhoamtoblame，’hetoldhimself，`butshe。ButIhavenothingtodowithher。Shedoesnotexistforme。’
　　Allthatwouldbefallherandherson，towardwhomhissentimentswereasmuchchangedastowardher，ceasedtointeresthim。Theonlythingthatinterestedhimnowwasthequestioninwhatwayhecouldbest，withmostproprietyandcomfortforhimself，andsowithmostjustice，shakeclearthemudwithwhichshehadspatteredhiminherfall，andthenproceedalonghispathofactive，honorable，andusefulexistence。
　　`Icannotbemadeunhappybythefactthatacontemptiblewomanhascommittedacrime。Ihaveonlytofindthebestwayoutofthedifficultpositioninwhichshehasplacedme。AndIshallfindit，’hesaidtohimself，frowningmoreandmore。`I’mneitherthefirstnorthelast。’AndtosaynothingofhistoricalinstancesdatingfromMenelaus，recentlyrevivedinthememoryofallbyLaBelleHé；lè；ne，awholelistofcontemporaryexamplesofhusbandswithunfaithfulwivesinthehighestsocietyrosebeforeAlexeiAlexandrovich’simagination。`Daryalov，Poltavsky，PrinceKaribanov，CountPaskudin，Dram……Yes，evenDram……suchanhonest，capablefellow……Semionov，Chagin，Sigonin，’AlexeiAlexandrovichremembered。
　　`Admittingthatacertainquiteirrationalridiculefallstothelotofthesemen，yetIneversawanythingbutamisfortuneinit，andalwaysfeltsympathyforit，’AlexeiAlexandrovichsaidtohimself，thoughindeedthiswasnotthefact，andhehadneverfeltsympathyformisfortunesofthatkind，butthemoreoftenhehadheardofinstancesofunfaithfulwivesbetrayingtheirhusbands，themorehighlyhehadthoughtofhimself。`Itisamisfortunewhichmaybefallanyone。Andthismisfortunehasbefallenme。Theonlythingtobedoneistomakethebestofthesituation。’Andhebeganpassinginreviewthemethodsofproceedingofmenwhohadbeeninthesamepositionthathewasin。
　　`Daryalovfoughtaduel……’
　　TheduelhadparticularlyfascinatedthethoughtsofAlexeiAlexandrovichinhisyouth，justbecausehewasphysicallyafaintheartedman，andwashimselfwellawareofthefact。AlexeiAlexandrovichcouldnotwithouthorrorcontemplatetheideaofapistolaimedathimself，andnevermadeuseofanyweaponinhislife。Thishorrorhadinhisyouthsethimoftenponderingondueling，andpicturinghimselfinapositioninwhichhewouldhavetoexposehislifetodanger。Havingattainedsuccessandanestablishedpositionintheworld，hehadlongagoforgottenthisfeeling；butthehabitualbentoffeelingreasserteditself，anddreadofhisowncowardiceprovedevennowsostrongthatAlexeiAlexandrovichspentalongwhilethinkingoverthequestionofduelinginallitsaspects，andhuggingtheideaofaduel，thoughhewasfullyawarebeforehandthathewouldneverunderanycircumstancesfightone。
　　`There’snodoubtoursocietyisstillsobarbarousit’snotthesameinEnglandthatverymany’-andamongthesewerethosewhoseopinionAlexeiAlexandrovichparticularlyvalued-`lookfavorablyontheduel；butwhatresultisattainedbyit？SupposeIcallhimout，’AlexeiAlexandrovichwentontohimself，andvividlypicturingthenighthewouldspendafterthechallenge，andthepistolaimedathim，heshuddered，andknewthatheneverwoulddoit-`supposeIcallhimout。SupposeIamtaught，’hewentonmusing，`Iamplaced，Ipressthetrigger，’hesaidtohimself，closinghiseyes，`anditturnsoutIhavekilledhim，’AlexeiAlexandrovichsaidtohimself，andheshookhisheadasthoughtodispelsuchsillyideas。`Whatsenseisthereinmurderingamaninordertodefineone’srelationtoaguiltywifeandson？IshouldstillhavetodecidewhatIoughttodowithher。Butwhatismoreprobable，andwhatwoulddoubtlesslyoccur-Ishouldbekilledorwounded。I，theinnocentperson，shouldbethevictim-killedorwounded。It’sevenmoresenseless。But，apartfromthat，achallengetofightwouldbeanacthardlyhonestonmyside。Don’tIknowbeforehandthatmyfriendswouldneverallowmetofightaduel-wouldneverallowthelifeofastatesman，neededbyRussia，tobeexposedtodanger？Whatwouldcomeofit？Itwouldcomeofitthat，knowingbeforehandthatthematterwouldnevercometorealdanger，itwouldamounttomysimplytryingtogainacertainshamreputationbysuchachallenge。Thatwouldbedishonest，thatwouldbefalse，thatwouldbedeceivingmyselfandothers。Aduelisquiteimpossible，andnooneexpectsitofme。Myaimissimplytosafeguardmyreputation，whichisessentialfortheuninterruptedpursuitofmypublicduties。’Officialduties，whichhadalwaysbeenofgreatconsequenceinAlexeiAlexandrovich’seyes，seemedofspecialimportancetohismindatthismoment。
　　Consideringandrejectingtheduel，AlexeiAlexandrovichturnedtodivorce-anothersolutionselectedbyseveralofthehusbandsheremembered。
　　Passinginmentalreviewalltheinstancesheknewofdivorcestherewereplentyofthemintheveryhighestsocietywithwhichhewasveryfamiliar，AlexeiAlexandrovichcouldnotfindasingleexampleinwhichtheobjectofdivorcewasthatwhichhehadinview。Inalltheseinstancesthehusbandhadpracticallycededorsoldhisunfaithfulwife，andtheverypartywho，beinginfault，hadnottherighttocontractamarriage，hadformedcounterfeit，pseudo-matrimonialtieswithanewhusband。Inhisowncase，AlexeiAlexandrovichsawthatalegaldivorce，thatistosay，oneinwhichonlytheguiltywifewouldberepudiated，wasimpossibleofattainment。Hesawthatthecomplexconditionsofthelifetheyledmadethecoarseproofsofhiswife’sguilt，requiredbythelaw，outofthequestion；hesawthatacertainrefinementinthatlifewouldnotadmitofsuchproofsbeingbroughtforward，evenifhehadthem，andthattobringforwardsuchproofswoulddamagehiminthepublicestimationmorethanitwouldher。
　　Anattemptatdivorcecouldleadtonothingbutapublicscandal，whichwouldbeaperfectgodsendtohisenemiesforcalumnyandattacksonhishighpositioninsociety。Hischiefobject，todefinethepositionwiththeleastamountofdisturbancepossible，wouldnotbeattainedbydivorceeither。Moreover，intheeventofdivorce，orevenofanattempttoobtainadivorce，itwasobviousthatthewifebrokeoffallrelationswiththehusbandandthrewinherlotwiththelover。And，inspiteofthecomplete，ashesupposed，contemptandindifferencehenowfeltforhiswife，atthebottomofhisheartAlexeiAlexandrovichstillhadonefeelingleftinregardtoher-adisinclinationtoseeherfreetothrowinherlotwithVronsky，sothathercrimewouldbetoheradvantage。ThemerenotionofthissoexasperatedAlexeiAlexandrovich，thatdirectlyitrosetohismindhegroanedwithinwardagony，andgotupandchangedhisplaceinthecarriage，andforalongwhileafterhesatwithscowlingbrows，wrappinghisnumbedandbonylegsinthefleecyrug。
　　`Apartfromformaldivorce，onemightstilldoasKaribanov，Paskudin，andthatgoodfellowDramdid-thatis，separatefromone’swife，’hewentonthinking，whenhehadregainedhiscomposure。Butthissteptoopresentedthesamedrawbackofpublicscandalasadivorce，and，whatwasmore，aseparation，quiteasmuchasaregulardivorce，flunghiswifeintothearmsofVronsky。`No，it’soutofthequestion，outofthequestion！’
　　hesaidaloud，twistinghisrugabouthimagain。`Icannotbeunhappy，butneithershenorheoughttobehappy。’
　　Thefeelingofjealousy，whichhadtorturedhimduringtheperiodofuncertainty，hadpassedawayattheinstantwhen，withagony，thetoothhadbeenextractedbyhiswife’swords。Butthatfeelinghadbeenreplacedbyanother-thedesire，notmerelythatsheshouldnottriumph，butthatsheshouldgetduepunishmentforhercrime。Hedidnotacknowledgethisfeeling，butatthebottomofhishearthelongedforhertosufferforhavingdestroyedhispeaceofmind，andhavingdishonoredhim。Andonceagaingoingovertheconditionsinseparablefromaduel，adivorce，aseparation，andonceagainrejectingthem，AlexeiAlexandrovichfeltconvincedthattherewasonlyonesolution-tokeepherwithhim，concealingwhathadhappenedfromtheworld，andusingeverymeasureinhispowertobreakofftheintrigue，andstillmore-thoughthishedidnotadmittohimself-topunishher。`Imustcommunicatetohermydecision；that，thinkingovertheterriblepositioninwhichshehasplacedherfamily，allothersolutionswillbeworseforbothsidesthananexternalstatusquo，andthatsuchIagreetoretain，onthestrictconditionofobedienceonherparttomywishes-thatistosay，cessationofallintercoursewithherlover。’Whenthisdecisionhadbeenfinallyadopted，anotherweightyconsiderationoccurredtoAlexeiAlexandrovichinsupportofit。`BysuchacourseonlyshallIbeactinginaccordancewiththedictatesofreligion，’hetoldhimself。`Inadoptingthiscourse，Iamnotcastingoffaguiltywife，butgivingherachanceofamendment；and，indeed，difficultasthetaskwillbetome，Ishalldevotepartofmyenergiestoherreformationandsalvation。’ThoughAlexeiAlexandrovichwasperfectlyawarethathecouldnotexertanymoralinfluenceoverhiswife，thatsuchanattemptatreformationcouldleadtonothingbutfalsity；thoughinpassingthroughthesedifficultmomentshehadnotoncethoughtofseekingguidanceinreligion；yetnow，whenhisconclusioncorresponded，asitseemedtohim，withtherequirementsofreligion，thisreligioussanctiontohisdecisiongavehimcompletesatisfaction，andtosomeextentrestoredhispeaceofmind。Hewaspleasedtothinkthat，eveninsuchanimportantcrisisinlife，noonewouldbeabletosaythathehadnotactedinaccordancewiththeprinciplesofthatreligionwhosebannerhehadalwaysheldaloftamidthegeneralcoolnessandindifference。Asheponderedoversubsequentdevelopments，AlexeiAlexandrovichdidnotsee，indeed，whyhisrelationswithhiswifeshouldnotremainpracticallythesameasbefore。Nodoubt，shecouldneverregainhisesteem，buttherewasnot，andtherecouldnotbe，anysortofreasonwhyhisexistenceshouldbetroubled，andwhyheshouldsufferbecauseshewasabadandfaithlesswife。`Yes，timewillpass-time，whicharrangesallthings；
　　andtheoldrelationswillbereestablished，’AlexeiAlexandrovichtoldhimself；sofarreestablished，thatis，thatIshallnotbesensibleofabreakinthecontinuityofmylife。Sheisboundtobeunhappy，butI
　　amnottoblame，andsoIcannotbeunhappy。’
　　[NextChapter][TableofContents]
　　TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart3，Chapter14[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter14AshenearedPeterburg，AlexeiAlexandrovichnotonlyadheredentirelytohisdecision，butwasevencomposinginhisheadtheletterhewouldwritetohiswife。GoingintothehallAlexeiAlexandrovichglancedatthelettersandpapersbroughtfromhisMinistryanddirectedthattheyshouldbebroughttohiminhisstudy。
　　`Thehorsescanbetakenout，andIwillseenoone，’hesaidinanswertotheporter，withacertainpleasure，indicativeofhisagreeableframeofmind，emphasizingthewords，`seenoone。’
　　InhisstudyAlexeiAlexandrovichwalkedupanddowntwice，andstoppedatanimmensewritingtable，onwhichsixcandleshadalreadybeenlightedbythevaletwhohadprecededhim。Hecrackedhisknuckles，andsatdown，sortingouthiswritingappurtenances。Puttinghiselbowsonthetable，hebenthisheadononeside，thoughtaminute，andbegantowrite，withoutpausingforasecond。Hewrotewithoutusinganyformofaddresstoher，andwroteinFrench，makinguseoftheplural`vous，’
　　whichhasnotthesamenoteofcoldnessasthecorrespondingRussianform。
　　`Atourlastconversation，Inotifiedyouofmyintentionofcommunicatingtoyoumydecisioninregardtothesubjectofthatconversation。
　　Havingcarefullyconsideredeverything，Iamwritingnowwiththeobjectoffulfillingthatpromise。Mydecisionisasfollows。Whateveryourconductmayhavebeen，IdonotconsidermyselfjustifiedinbreakingthetiesinwhichweareboundbyaHigherPower。Thefamilycannotbebrokenupbyawhim，acaprice，orevenbythesinofoneofthepartnersinthemarriage，andourlifemustgoonasithasdoneinthepast。Thisisessentialforme，foryou，andforourson。Iamfullypersuadedthatyouhaverepented，anddorepent，ofwhathascalledforththepresentletter，andthatyouwillco-operatewithmeineradicatingthecauseofourestrangement，andforgettingthepast。Inthecontraryevent，youcanconjecturewhatawaitsyouandyourson。AllthisIhopetodiscussmoreindetailinapersonalinterview。Astheseasonisdrawingtoaclose，IwouldbegyoutoreturntoPeterburgasquicklyaspossible-notlaterthanTuesday。Allnecessarypreparationsshallbemadeforyourarrivalhere。IbegyoutonotethatIattachparticularsignificancetocompliancewiththisrequest。
　　A。Karenin`P。S-Ienclosethemoneywhichmaybeneededforyourexpenses。’Hereadtheletterthroughandfeltpleasedwithit，andespeciallybecausehehadrememberedtoenclosemoney:therewasnotaharshword，notareproachinit，norwasthereundueindulgence。Mostofall，itwasagoldenbridgeforareturn。Foldingtheletterandsmoothingitwithamassiveivoryknife，andputtingitinanenvelopewiththemoney，herangthebellwiththegratificationitalwaysaffordedhimtousethewell-arrangedappointmentsofhiswritingtable。
　　`GivethistoamessengertobedeliveredtoAnnaArkadyevnatomorrow，atthesummervilla，’hesaid，gettingup。
　　`Certainly，YourExcellency；isteatobeservedinthestudy？’
　　AlexeiAlexandrovichorderedteatobebroughttothestudy，andplayingwiththemassivepaperknife，hemovedtohiseasychair，nearwhichtherehadbeenplacedreadyforhimalampandtheFrenchworkonlestablesEugubinesthathehadbegun。OvertheeasychairtherehunginagoldframeanovalportraitofAnna，afinepaintingbyacelebratedartist。AlexeiAlexandrovichglancedatit。Theunfathomableeyesgazedironicallyandinsolentlyathim，astheydidthatnightoftheirlastexplanation。InsufferablyinsolentandchallengingwastheeffectinAlexeiAlexandrovich’seyesoftheblacklaceaboutthehead，admirablytouchedinbythepainter，theblackhairandhandsomewhitehandthefourthfingerofwhichwascoveredwithrings。Afterlookingattheportraitforaminute，AlexeiAlexandrovichshudderedsothathislipsquiveredandproduced`brrr，’
　　andturnedaway。Hemadehastetositdowninhiseasychairandopenedthebook。Hetriedtoread，buthecouldnotrevivetheveryvividinteresthehadfeltbeforeinEugubineinscriptions。Helookedatthebookandthoughtofsomethingelse。Hethoughtnotofhiswife，butofacomplicationthathadariseninhisofficiallife，whichatthetimeconstitutedthechiefinterestofit。Hefeltthathehadpenetratedmoredeeplythaneverbeforeintothisintricateaffair，andthathehadoriginatedaleadingidea-hecouldsayitwithoutself-flattery-calculatedtoclearupthewholebusiness，tostrengthenhiminhisofficialcareer，todiscomfithisenemies，andtherebytobeofthegreatestbenefittotheState。Directlytheservanthadsettheteaandlefttheroom，AlexeiAlexandrovichgotupandwenttothewritingtable。Movingintothemiddleofthetableaportfolioofcurrentpapers，withascarcelyperceptiblesmileofself-satisfaction，hetookapencilfromarackandplungedintotheperusalofacomplexreportrelatingtothepresentcomplication。Thecomplicationwasofthisnature:AlexeiAlexandrovich’scharacteristicqualityasapolitician，thatspecialindividualqualificationthateveryrisingfunctionarypossesses，thequalificationthatwithhisunflaggingambition，hisreserve，hishonesty，andhisself-confidencehadmadehiscareer，washiscontemptforredtape，hiscuttingdownofcorrespondence，hisdirectcontact，whereverpossible，withthelivingfact，andhiseconomy。IthappenedthatthefamousCommissionofthe2ndofJunehadsetonfootaninquiryintotheirrigationoflandsintheZaraiskyprovince，whichfellunderAlexeiAlexandrovich’sdepartment，andwasaglaringexampleoffruitlessexpenditureandpaperreforms。AlexeiAlexandrovichwasawareofthetruthofthis。TheirrigationoftheselandsintheZaraiskyprovincehadbeeninitiatedbythepredecessorofAlexeiAlexandrovich’spredecessor。Andvastsumsofmoneyhadactuallybeenspent，andwerestillbeingspent，onthisbusiness，andutterlyunproductively，andthewholebusinesscouldobviouslyleadtonothingwhatever。AlexeiAlexandrovichhadperceivedthisatonceonenteringoffice，andwouldhavelikedtolayhandsonthebusiness。Butatfirst，whenhedidnotyetfeelsecureinhisposition，heknewitwouldaffecttoomanyinterests，andwouldbeimprudent；lateronhehadbeenengrossedinotherquestions，andhadsimplyforgottenthiscase。Itwentofitself，likeallsuchcases，bythemereforceofinertia。Manypeoplegainedtheirlivelihoodbythisbusiness，especiallyonehighlyconscientiousandmusicalfamily:allthedaughtersplayedonstringedinstruments，andAlexeiAlexandrovichknewthefamilyandhadstoodgodfathertooneoftheelderdaughters。TheraisingofthisquestionbyahostileMinistrywasinAlexeiAlexandrovich’sopinionadishonorableproceeding，seeingthatineveryMinistrytherewerethingssimilarandworse，whichnooneinquiredinto，forwell-knownreasonsofofficialetiquette。However，nowthatthegauntlethadbeenthrowndowntohim，hehadboldlypickeditupanddemandedtheappointmentofaspecialcommissiontoinvestigateandverifytheworkingoftheCommissionofIrrigationofthelandsintheZaraiskyprovince；butincompensationhegavenoquartertotheenemyeither。HedemandedalsotheappointmentofanotherspecialcommissiontoinquireintothequestionoftheNativeTribesOrganization。ThequestionoftheNativeTribeshadbeenbroughtupincidentallyintheCommitteeofthe2ndofJune，andhadbeenpressedforwardactivelybyAlexeiAlexandrovich，asoneadmittingofnodelayonaccountofthedeplorableconditionofthenativetribes。IntheCommitteethisquestionhadbeenagroundofcontentionbetweenseveralMinistries。
　　TheMinistryhostiletoAlexeiAlexandrovichprovedthattheconditionofthenativetribeswasexceedinglyflourishing，thattheproposedreconstructionmightbetheruinoftheirprosperity，andthatiftherewereanythingwrong，itarosemainlyfromthefailureonthepartofAlexeiAlexandrovich’sMinistrytocarryoutthemeasuresprescribedbylaw。NowAlexeiAlexandrovichintendedtodemand:First，thatanewcommissionshouldbeformedwhichshouldbeempoweredtoinvestigatetheconditionofthenativetribesonthespot；secondly，ifitshouldappearthattheconditionofthenativetribesactuallywassuchasitappearedtobefromtheofficialdatainthehandsoftheCommittee，thatanothernewscientificcommissionshouldbeappointedtoinvestigatethedeplorableconditionofthenativetribesfromthe-apolitical，badministrative，c
　　economic，dethnographical，ematerial，andfreligiouspointsofview；thirdly，thatevidenceshouldberequiredfromtherivalMinistryofthemeasuresthathadbeentakenduringthelasttenyearsbythatMinistryforavertingthedisastrousconditionsinwhichthenativetribeswerenowplaced；and，fourthlyandfinally，thatthatMinistrybeaskedtoexplainwhyithad，asappearedfromthereportssubmittedbeforetheCommittee，underNos。17，015and18，308，datedDecember5，1863，andJune7，1864respectively，actedindirectcontraventionoftheintentionofthebasicandorganiclaw，T……Statute18，andthenotetoStatute36。AflushofeagernesssuffusedthefaceofAlexeiAlexandrovichasherapidlywroteoutasynopsisoftheseideasforhisownbenefit。Havingfilledasheetofpaper，hegotup，rang，andsentanotetotheheadclerktolookupcertainnecessaryfactsforhim。Gettingupandwalkingabouttheroom，heglancedagainattheportrait，frowned，andsmiledcontemptuously。
　　AfterreadingalittlemoreofthebookonEugubineinscriptions，andrenewinghisinterestinit，AlexeiAlexandrovichwenttobedateleveno’clock，andrecollectingashelayinbedtheincidentwithhiswife，hesawitnowinbynomeanssogloomyalight。
　　[NextChapter][TableofContents]TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart3，Chapter15[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter15ThoughAnnahadobstinatelyandwithexasperationcontradictedVronsky-whenhetoldhertheirpositionwasimpossible，andpersuadedhertolayopeneverythingtoherhusband-atthebottomofherheartsheregardedherownpositionasfalseanddishonorable，andshelongedwithherwholesoultochangeit。Onthewayhomefromtheracesshehadtoldherhusbandthetruthinamomentofexcitement，andinspiteoftheagonyshehadsufferedindoingso，shewasgladofit。Afterherhusbandhadlefther，shetoldherselfthatshewasglad，thatnoweverythingwasmadeclear，andatleasttherewouldbenomorelyinganddeception。Itseemedtoherbeyonddoubtthatherpositionwasnowmadeclearforever。Itmightbebad，thisnewposition，butitwouldbeclear；therewouldbenoindefinitenessorfalsehoodaboutit。Thepainshehadcausedherselfandherhusbandinutteringthosewordswouldberewardednowbyeverythingbeingmadeclear，shethought。ThateveningshesawVronsky，butshedidnottellhimofwhathadpassedbetweenherandherhusband，though，tomakethepositionclear，itwasnecessarytotellhim。
　　Whenshewokeupnextmorningthefirstthingthatrosetohermindwaswhatshehadsaidtoherhusband，andthosewordsseemedtohersoawfulthatshecouldnotconceivenowhowshecouldhavebroughtherselftoutterthosestrange，coarsewords，andcouldnotimaginewhatwouldcomeofit。Butthewordswerespoken，andAlexeiAlexandrovichhadgoneawaywithoutsayinganything。`IsawVronskyanddidnottellhim。AttheveryinstanthewasgoingawayIwouldhaveturnedhimbackandtoldhim，butIchangedmymind，becauseitwasstrangethatIhadnottoldhimthefirstminute。WhywasitIwantedtotellhimanddidn’t？’Andinanswertothisquestionaburningblushofshamespreadoverherface。Sheknewwhathadkeptherfromit，sheknewthatshehadbeenashamed。Herposition，whichhadseemedtohersimplifiedthenightbefore，suddenlystruckhernowasnotonlynotsimple，butasabsolutelyhopeless。Shefeltterrifiedatthedisgrace，ofwhichshehadnoteventhoughtbefore。Directlyshethoughtofwhatherhusbandwoulddo，themostterribleideascametohermind。Shehadavisionofbeingturnedoutofthehouse，ofhershamebeingproclaimedtoalltheworld。Sheaskedherselfwheresheshouldgowhenshewasturnedoutofthehouse，andshecouldnotfindananswer。
　　WhenshethoughtofVronsky，itseemedtoherthathedidnotloveher，thathewasalreadybeginningtobetiredofher，thatshecouldnotofferherselftohim，andshefeltbitteragainsthimforit。Itseemedtoherthatthewordsthatshehadspokentoherhusband，andhadcontinuallyrepeatedinherimagination，shehadsaidtoeveryone，andeveryonehadheardthem。Shecouldnotbringherselftolookthoseofherownhouseholdintheface。Shecouldnotbringherselftocallhermaid，andstilllessgodownstairsandseehersonandhisgoverness。
　　Themaid，whohadbeenlisteningatherdoorforalongwhile，cameintoherroomofherownaccord。Annaglancedinquiringlyintoherface，andblushedwithascaredlook。Themaidbeggedherpardonforcomingin，sayingthatshehadfanciedthebellrang。Shebroughtherclothesandanote。ThenotewasfromBetsy。BetsyremindedherthatLizaMerkalovaandBaronessStoltzwerecomingtoplaycroquetwithherthatmorningwiththeiradorers，KaluzhskyandoldStremov。`Come，ifonlyasastudyincharacters。Ishallexpectyou，’shefinished。
　　Annareadthenoteandheavedadeepsigh。
　　`Nothing-Ineednothing，’shesaidtoAnnushka，whowasrearrangingthebottlesandbrushesonthedressingtable。`Youmaygo。I’lldressatonceandcomedown。Ineednothing，nothing。’
　　Annushkawentout，butAnnadidnotbegindressing，andsatinthesameposition，herheadandhandshanginglistlessly，andeverynowandthensheshiveredallover，wasapparentlyabouttomakesomegesture，uttersomeword，andsankbackintolifelessnessagain。Sherepeatedcontinually，`MyGod！myGod！’Butneither`God’nor`my’hadanymeaningtoher。TheideaofseekinghelpinherdifficultyinreligionwasasremotefromherasseekinghelpfromAlexeiAlexandrovichhimself，althoughshehadneverhaddoubtsofthefaithinwhichshehadbeenbroughtup。Sheknewthatthesupportofreligionwaspossibleonlyuponconditionofrenouncingwhatmadeupforherthewholemeaningoflife。Shewasnotsimplymiserable，shebegantofeelalarmatthenewspiritualcondition，neverexperiencedbefore，inwhichshefoundherself。Shefeltasthougheverythingwerebeginningtobedoubleinhersoul，justasobjectssometimesappeardoubletoovertiredeyes。Shehardlyknewattimeswhatitwasshefeared，andwhatshehopedfor。Whethershefearedordesiredwhathadhappened，orwhatwasgoingtohappen，andexactlywhatshelongedfor，shecouldnothavesaid。
　　`Ah，whatamIdoing！’shesaidtoherself，feelingasuddenthrillofpaininbothsidesofherhead。Whenshecametoherself，shesawthatshewasholdingherhairinbothhands，eachsideofhertemples，andshewaspressingthem。Shejumpedup，andbeganwalkingabout。
　　`Thecoffeeisready，andmademoiselleandSeriozhaarewaiting，’
　　saidAnnushka，comingbackagainandfindingAnnainthesameposition。
　　`Seriozha？WhataboutSeriozha？’Annaasked，withsuddeneagerness，recollectingherson’sexistenceforthefirsttimethatmorning。
　　`He’sbeennaughty，Ithink，’answeredAnnushkawithasmile。
　　`Inwhatway？’
　　`Somepeacheswerelyingonthetableinthecornerroom。Ithinkheateoneofthemonthesly。’
　　TherecollectionofhersonsuddenlyrousedAnnafromthehelplessconditioninwhichshefoundherself。Sherecalledthepartlysincere，thoughgreatlyexaggerated，roleofthemotherlivingforherchild，whichshehadtakenupoflateyears，andshefeltwithjoythatintheplightinwhichshefoundherselfshehadadominionindependentofanypositionshewouldbeplacedinbyherrelationstoherhusbandortoVronsky。Thisdominionwasherson。Inwhateverpositionshemightbeplaced，shecouldnotabandonherson。Herhusbandmightputhertoshameandturnherout，Vronskymightgrowcoldtoherandgoonlivinghisownlifeapartshethoughtofhimagainwithbitternessandreproach；shecouldnotleaveherson。Shehadanaiminlife。Andshemustact；acttosecurethepositionofherson，sothathemightnotbetakenfromher。Quicklyindeed，asquicklyaspossible，shemusttakeactionbeforehewastakenfromher。
　　Shemusttakehersonandgoaway。Herewastheonethingshehadtodonow。Shemustbecalm，andgetoutofthisinsufferableposition。Thethoughtofimmediateactionbindinghertoherson，ofgoingawaysomewherewithhim，gaveherthiscalming。
　　Shedressedquickly，wentdownstairs，andwithresolutestepswalkedintothedrawingroom，whereshefound，asusual，waitingforher，thecoffee，Seriozha，andhisgoverness。Seriozha，allinwhite，withhisbackandheadbent，wasstandingatatableunderalookingglass，andwithanexpressionofintenseconcentrationwhichsheknewwell，andinwhichheresembledhisfather，hewasdoingsomethingtotheflowershecarried。
　　Thegovernesshadaparticularlysevereexpression。Seriozhascreamedshrilly，asheoftendid，`Ah，mamma！’andstopped，hesitatingwhethertogotogreethismotherandputdowntheflowers，ortofinishmakingthewreathandgowiththeflowers。
　　Thegoverness，aftersayinggoodmorning，beganalonganddetailedaccountofSeriozha’snaughtiness，butAnnadidnothearher；shewasconsideringwhethershewouldtakeherwithherornot。`No，Iwon’ttakeher，’shedecided。`I’llgoalonewithmyson。’
　　`Yes，it’sverywrong，’saidAnna，andtakinghersonbytheshouldershelookedathim，notseverely，butwithatimidglancethatbewilderedanddelightedtheboy，andshekissedhim。`Leavehimtome，’shesaidtotheastonishedgoverness，andwithoutlettinggoofherson，shesatdownatthetable，wherecoffeewassetreadyforher。
　　`Mamma！I……Ididn’t……’hesaid，tryingtomakeoutfromherexpressionwhatwasinstoreforhiminregardtothepeaches。
　　`Seriozha，’shesaid，assoonasthegovernesshadlefttheroom，`thatwaswrong，butyou’llneverdoitagain，willyou？……Youloveme？’
　　Shefeltthatthetearswerecomingintohereyes。`CanIhelplovinghim？’shesaidtoherself，lookingdeeplyintohisscaredandatthesametimedelightedeyes。`Andcanheeverjoinhisfatherinpunishingme？Isitpossiblehewillnotfeelforme？’Tearswerealreadyflowingdownherface，andtohidethemshegotupabruptlyandalmostranoutontheterrace。
　　Afterthethundershowersofthelastfewdays，cold，brightweatherhadsetin。Theairwascoldinthebrightsunthatfilteredthroughthefreshlywashedleaves。
　　Sheshivered，bothfromthecoldandfromtheinwardhorrorwhichhadclutchedherwithfreshforceintheopenair。
　　`Runalong，runalongtoMariette，’shesaidtoSeriozha，whohadfollowedherout，andshebeganwalkingupanddownonthestrawmattingoftheterrace。`Canitbethattheywon’tforgiveme，won’tunderstandhowitallcouldnothavebeenotherwise？’shesaidtoherself。
　　Standingstill，andlookingatthetopsoftheaspentreeswavinginthewind，withtheirfreshlywashed，brightlyshiningleavesinthecoldsunshine，sheknewthattheywouldnotforgiveher，thateveryoneandeverythingwouldbemercilesstohernowaswasthatsky，thatgreen。
　　Andagainshefeltthateverythingwasdoublinginhersoul。`Imustn’t，mustn’tthink，’shesaidtoherself。`Imustgetready。Togowhere？When？
　　Whomtotakewithme？Yes-toMoscow，bytheeveningtrain。AnnushkaandSeriozha，andonlythemostnecessarythings。ButfirstImustwritetothemboth。’Shewentquicklyindoorsintoherboudoir，satdownatthetable，andwrotetoherhusband:
　　`AfterwhathashappenedIcannotremainanylongerinyourhouse。
　　Iamgoingaway，andtakingmysonwithme。Idon’tknowthelaw；andsoIdon’tknowwithwhichoftheparentsthesonshouldremain；butItakehimwithmebecauseIcannotlivewithouthim。Begenerous，leavehimtome。’
　　Uptothispointshewroterapidlyandnaturally，buttheappealtohisgenerosity，aqualityshedidnotrecognizeinhim，andthenecessityofwindinguptheletterwithsomethingtouching，pulledherup。
　　`OfmyfaultandmyremorseIcannotspeak，because……’
　　Shestoppedagain，findingnoconnectioninherideas。`No，’shesaidtoherself，`there’snoneedofanything，’andtearinguptheletter，shewroteitagain，leavingouttheallusiontogenerosity，andsealeditup。
　　AnotherletterhadtobewrittentoVronsky。`Ihavetoldmyhusband，’
　　shewrote，andshesatalongwhileunabletowritemore。Itwassocoarse，sounfeminine。`AndwhatmoreamItowritehim？’shesaidtoherself。
　　Againaflushofshamespreadoverherface；sherecalledhiscomposure，andafeelingofangeragainsthimimpelledhertotearthesheetwiththephraseshehadwrittenintotinybits。`Noneedofanything，’shesaidtoherself，andclosingherblottingcaseshewentupstairs，toldthegovernessandtheservantsthatshewasgoingthatdaytoMoscow，andatoncesettoworktopackupherthings。
　　[NextChapter][TableofContents]
　　TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart3，Chapter16[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter16Alltheroomsofthesummervillawerefullofporters，gardeners，andfootmen，goingtoandfrocarryingoutthings。Cupboardsandchestswereopen；twicetheyhadtoruntoastoreforcord；piecesofnewspaperwereclutteringthefloor。Twotrunks，somebagsandstrapped-upplaidshadbeencarrieddownintothehall。Thecarriageandtwohiredcabswerewaitingatthesteps。Anna，forgettingherinwardagitationintheworkofpacking，wasstandingatatableinherboudoir，packinghertravelingbag，whenAnnushkacalledherattentiontotheclatterofsomecarriagedrivingup。
　　AnnalookedoutofthewindowandsawAlexeiAlexandrovich’smessengeronthesteps，ringingatthefrontdoorbell。
　　`Runandfindoutwhatitis，’shesaid，and，withacalmsenseofbeingpreparedforanything，shesatdowninalowchair，foldingherhandsonherknees。AfootmanbroughtinathickpacketdirectedinAlexeiAlexandrovich’shand。
　　`Themessengerhasorderstowaitforananswer，’hesaid。
　　`Verywell，’shesaid，andassoonashehadlefttheroomshetoreopentheletterwithtremblingfingers。Apacketofunfoldedbanknotesdoneupwithabandfelloutofit。Sheextricatedtheletterandbeganreadingitfromtheend。`Preparationsshallbemadeforyourarrivalhere……
　　Iattachparticularsignificancetocompliance……’sheread。Sheranthroughitbackward，readitallthrough，andoncemorereadtheletterallthroughagain，fromthebeginning。Whenshehadfinished，shefeltthatshewascoldallover，andthatafearfulcalamity，suchasshehadnotexpected，hadburstuponher。
　　Inthemorningshehadregrettedthatshehadspokentoherhusband，andwishedfornothingsomuchasthatthosewordsmightbeunspoken。Andherethisletterregardedthemasunspoken，andgaveherwhatshehadwanted。
　　Butnowthisletterseemedtohermoreawfulthananythingshehadbeenabletoconceive。
　　`He’sright！’shesaid。`Ofcourse，he’salwaysright；he’saChristian，he’sgenerous！Yes，vile，basecreature！Andnooneunderstandsitexceptme，andnooneeverwill；andIcan’texplainit。Theysayhe’ssoreligious，sohigh-principled，soupright，soclever；buttheydon’tseewhatI’veseen。Theydon’tknowhowhehascrushedmylifeforeightyears，crushedeverythingthatwaslivinginme-hehasnotonceeventhoughtthatI’malivewomanwhomusthavelove。Theydon’tknowhowateverystephe’shumiliatedme，andbeenjustaspleasedwithhimself。Haven’tIstriven-strivenwithallmystrength-tofindsomethingtogivemeaningtomylife？Haven’tIstruggledtolovehim，tolovemysonwhenIcouldnotlovemyhusband？ButthetimecamewhenIknewthatIcouldn’tcheatmyselfanylonger，thatIwasalive，thatIwasnottoblame，thatGodhasmademesothatImustloveandlive。Andnowwhatdoeshedo？Ifhe’dkilledme，ifhe’dkilledhim，Icouldhaveborneanything，Icouldhaveforgivenanything；but，no，he……’
　　`HowwasitIdidn’tguesswhathewoulddo？He’sdoingjustwhat’snaturaltohismeancharacter。He’llkeephimselfintheright，whilehe’lldriveme，inmyruin，stilllower，stilltoworseruin……’
　　`’Youcanconjecturewhatawaitsyouandyourson，’’sherecalledapartofhisletter。`That’sathreattotakeawaymychild，andmostlikelyaccordingtotheirstupidlawhecan。ButIknowverywellwhyhesaysit。Hedoesn’tbelieveeveninmyloveformychild，orhedespisesitjustashealwaysusedtoridiculeit。Hedespisesthatfeelinginme，butheknowsthatIwon’tabandonmychild，thatIcan’tabandonmychild，thattherecouldbenolifeformewithoutmychild，evenwithhimwhomIlove；butthatifIabandonedmychildandranawayfromhim，I
　　shouldbeactinglikethemostinfamous，basestofwomen。Heknowsthat，andknowsthatIamincapableofdoingthat。’
　　`Ourlifemustgoonasithasdoneinthepast，’sherecalledanothersentenceinhisletter。`Thatlifewasmiserableenoughintheolddays；ithasbeenawfuloflate。Whatwillitbenow？Andheknowsallthat；heknowsthatIcan’trepentbreathing，repentloving；heknowsthatitcanleadtonothingbutlyinganddeceit；buthewantstogoontorturingme。Iknowhim；Iknowthathe’sathomeandishappyindeceit，likeafishswimminginthewater。No，Iwon’tgivehimthathappiness。
　　I’llbreakthroughthespider’swebofliesinwhichhewantstocatchme，comewhatmay。Anything’sbetterthanlyinganddeceit。’
　　`Buthow？MyGod！myGod！WaseverawomansomiserableasIam？……’
　　`No；Iwillbreakthroughit，Iwillbreakthroughit！’shecried，jumpingupandkeepingbackhertears。Andshewenttothewritingtabletowritehimanotherletter。Butatthebottomofherheartshefeltthatshewasnotstrongenoughtobreakthroughanything，thatshewasnotstrongenoughtogetoutofheroldposition，howeverfalseanddishonorableitmightbe。
　　Shesatdownatthewritingtable，butinsteadofwritingsheclaspedherhandsonthetable，and，layingherheadonthem，burstintotears，withsobsandheavingbreast，likeachildcrying。Shewasweepingbecauseherdreamofherpositionbeingmadeclearanddefinitehadbeenannihilatedforever。Sheknewbeforehandthateverythingwouldgoonintheoldway，andfarworse，indeed，thanintheoldway。Shefeltthatherpositionintheworldsheenjoyed，andwhichhadseemedtoherofsolittleconsequenceinthemorning，wasnowprecioustoher，thatshewouldnothavethestrengthtoexchangeitfortheshamefulpositionofawomanwhohasabandonedhusbandandchildtojoinherlover；thathowevermuchshemightstruggle，shecouldnotbestrongerthanherself。Shewouldneverknowfreedominlove，butwouldremainforeveraguiltywife，withthemenaceofdetectionhangingoverherateveryinstant；deceivingherhusbandforthesakeofashamefulconnectionwithamanlivingapartandawayfromher，whoselifeshecouldnevershare。Sheknewthatthiswashowitwouldbe，andatthesametimeitwassoawfulthatshecouldnotevenconceivewhatitwouldendin。Andshecriedwithoutrestraint，aschildrencrywhentheyarepunished。
　　Thesoundofafootman’sstepsforcedhertorouseherself，and，hidingherfacefromhim，shepretendedtobewriting。
　　`Themessengerasksifthere’sanyanswer，’thefootmaninformedher。
　　`Anyanswer？Yes，’saidAnna。`Lethimwait。I’llring。’
　　`WhatcanIwrite？’shethought。`WhatcanIdecideuponalone？
　　WhatdoIknow？WhatdoIwant？WhatisthereIcarefor？’Againshefeltthathersoulwasbeginningtodouble。Shewasterrifiedagainatthisfeeling，andclutchedatthefirstpretextfordoingsomethingwhichmightdivertherthoughtsfromherself。`IoughttoseeAlexei’soshecalledVronskyinherthoughts；`noonebuthecantellmewhatIoughttodo。
　　I’llgotoBetsy’s，perhapsIshallseehimthere，’shesaidtoherself，completelyforgettingthat，whenshehadtoldhimthedaybeforethatshewasnotgoingtoPrincessTverskaia’shehadsaidthatinthatcaseheshouldnotgoeither。Shewentuptothetable，wrotetoherhusband:`I
　　havereceivedyourletter-A。’；and，ringingthebell，gaveittothefootman。
　　`Wearenotgoing，’shesaidtoAnnushka，asshecamein。
　　`Notgoingatall？’
　　`No；don’tunpacktilltomorrow，andletthecarriagewait。I’mgoingtothePrincess。’
　　`WhichdressamItogetready？’
　　[NextChapter][TableofContents]
　　TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart3，Chapter17[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter17ThecroquetpartytowhichthePrincessTverskaiahadinvitedAnnawastoconsistoftwoladiesandtheiradorers。ThesetwoladieswerethechiefrepresentativesofaselectnewPeterburgcircle，nicknamed，inimitationofsomeimitation，Lesseptmerveillesdumonde。Theseladiesbelongedtoacirclewhich，thoughofthehighestsociety，wasutterlyhostiletothatinwhichAnnamoved。Moreover，oldStremov，oneofthemostinfluentialpeopleinPeterburg，andtheadmirerofLizaMerkalova，wasAlexeiAlexandrovich’senemyinthepoliticalworld。FromalltheseconsiderationsAnnahadnotmeanttogo，andthehintsinPrincessTverskaia’snotereferredtoherrefusal。ButnowAnnawaseagertogo，inthehopeofseeingVronsky。
　　AnnaarrivedatPrincessTverskaia’searlierthantheotherguests。
　　Attheverymomentofherentry，Vronsky’sfootman，withhissidewhiskerscombedout，andlookinglikeaKammerjunker，wentintoo。Hestoppedatthedoor，and，takingoffhiscap，letherpass。Annarecognizedhim，andonlythenrecalledthatVronskyhadtoldherthedaybeforethathewouldnotcome。Mostlikelyhewassendinganotetosayso。
　　Asshetookoffheroutergarmentinthehall，sheheardthefootmansay，rollinghisr’sevenlikeaKammerjunker:`FromtheCountforthePrincess，’ashehandedoverthenote。
　　Shelongedtoquestionhimastowherehismasterwas。Shelongedtoturnbackandsendhimalettertocomeandseeher，ortogoherselftoseehim。Butnoneofthethreecourseswaspossible。Alreadysheheardbellsringingaheadofhertoannounceherarrival，andPrincessTverskaia’sfootmanwasstandingattheopendoorwaitingforhertopassintotheinnerrooms。
　　`ThePrincessisinthegarden；shewillbeinformedimmediately。
　　Wouldyoubepleasedtowalkintothegarden？’announcedanotherfootmaninanotherroom。
　　Thepositionofuncertainty，ofindecision，wasstillthesameasathome-worse，infact，sinceitwasimpossibletotakeanystep，impossibletoseeVronsky，andshehadtoremainhereamongoutsiders，incompanysouncongenialtoherpresentmood。Butshewaswearingadressthatsheknewsuitedher。Shewasnotalone；allaroundwasthatluxurioussettingofidlenessthatshewasusedto，andshefeltlesswretchedthanathome。Shewasnotforcedtothinkwhatshehadtodo。Everythingwouldbedoneofitself。OnmeetingBetsycomingtowardherinawhitegownthatstruckherbyitselegance，Annasmiledtoherjustasshealwaysdid。
　　PrincessTverskaiawaswalkingwithTushkevichandayounglady，arelation，who，tothegreatjoyofherparentsintheprovinces，wasspendingthesummerwiththefashionablePrincess。
　　TherewasprobablysomethingunusualaboutAnna，forBetsynoticeditatonce。
　　`Isleptbadly，’answeredAnna，lookingintentlyatthefootmanwhocametomeetthem，and，asshesupposed，broughtVronsky’snote。
　　`HowgladIamyou’vecome！’saidBetsy。`I’mtired，andwasjustlongingtohavesometeabeforetheycome。Youmightgo，’sheturnedtoTushkevich，`withMasha，andtrythecroquetgroundoverthere，wherethey’vebeenclippingit。Weshallhavetimetotalkalittleovertea，we’llhaveacozychat，eh？’shesaidinEnglishtoAnna，withasmile，pressingthehandwhichheldaparasol。
　　`Yes，especiallyasIcan’tstayverylongwithyou。I’mforcedtogoontooldMadameVrede。I’vebeenpromisingtogoforacentury，’
　　saidAnna，towhomlying，alienasitwastohernature，hadbecomenotmerelysimpleandnaturalinsociety，butapositivesourceofsatisfaction。
　　Whyshesaidthis，whichshehadnotthoughtofasecondbefore，shecouldnothaveexplained。ShehadsaiditsimplyfromthereflectionthatasVronskywouldnotbehere，shehadbettersecureherownfreedom，andtrytoseehimsomehow。ButwhyshehadspokenofoldHoffrauleinVrede，whomshehadtogoandsee，asshehadtoseemanyotherpeople，shecouldnothaveexplained；andyet，asitafterwardturnedout，hadshecudgeledherbrainsforthemostcunningsubterfugetomeetVronsky，shecouldhavethoughtofnothingbetter。
　　`No。I’mnotgoingtoletyougoforanything，’answeredBetsy，lookingintentlyintoAnna’sface。`Really，ifIwerenotfondofyou，Ishouldfeeloffended。Onewouldthinkyouwereafraidmysocietywouldcompromiseyou-Teainthesmalldiningroom，please，’shesaid，halfclosinghereyes，asshealwaysdidwhenaddressingthefootman。
　　Takingthenotefromhim，shereadit。
　　`Alexeiisplayingusfalse，’shesaidinFrench；`hewritesthathecan’tcome，’sheadded，inatoneassimpleandnaturalasthoughitcouldneverenterherheadthatVronskycouldmeananythingmoretoAnnathanagameofcroquet。AnnaknewthatBetsykneweverything，but，hearinghowshespokeofVronskybeforeher，shealmostfeltpersuadedforaminutethatsheknewnothing。
　　`Ah！’saidAnnaindifferently，asthoughnotgreatlyinterestedinthematter；andshewenton，smiling:`Howcanyouoryourfriendscompromiseanyone？’
　　Thisplayingwithwords，thishidingofasecret，hadagreatfascinationforAnna，as，indeed，ithasforallwomen。Anditwasnotthenecessityofconcealment，notthepurposeforwhichtheconcealmentwascontrived，buttheprocessofconcealmentitselfwhichattractedher。
　　`Ican’tbemorecatholicthanthePope，’shesaid。`StremovandLizaMerkalova-why，they’rethecreamofthecreamofsociety。Besides，they’rereceivedeverywhere，andI’-shelaidspecialstressontheI-
　　`haveneverbeenstrictandintolerant。It’ssimplythatIhaven’tthetime。’
　　`No；youdon’tcare，perhaps，tomeetStremov？LethimandAlexeiAlexandrovichtiltateachotherintheCommittee-that’snoaffairofours。But，insociety，he’sthemostamiablemanIknow，andanardentcroquetplayer。Youshallsee。And，inspiteofhisabsurdpositionasLiza’slovesickswainathisage，yououghttoseehowhecarriesofftheabsurdposition。He’sverynice。Don’tyouknowSapphoStoltz？Oh，that’sanewtype-quitenew！’
　　Betsywentonwithallthischatter，yet，atthesametime，fromhergood-humored，shrewdglance，Annafeltthatshepartlyguessedherplight，andwashatchingsomethingforherbenefit。Theywereinthelittleboudoir。
　　`ImustwritetoAlexei，though，’andBetsysatdowntothetable，scribbledafewlines，andputthenoteinanenvelope。`I’mtellinghimtocometodinner。I’veoneladyextratodinnerwithme，andnomantotakeherin。LookwhatI’vesaid-willthatpersuadehim？Excuseme，I
　　mustleaveyouforaminute。Wouldyousealitup，please，andsenditoff？shesaidfromthedoor；`Ihavetogivesomedirections。’
　　Withoutamoment’shesitation，AnnasatdowntothetablewithBetsy’sletter，and，withoutreadingit，wrotebelow:`It’sessentialformetoseeyou。CometotheVredegarden。Ishallbethereatsixo’clock。’
　　Shesealeditup，and，Betsycomingback，inherpresencehandedthenotefortransmittal。
　　Attea，whichwasbroughtthemonalittleteatableinthecoollittledrawingroom，acozychatpromisedbyPrincessTverskaiabeforethearrivalofhervisitorsreallydidcomeoffbetweenthetwowomen。
　　Theycriticizedthepeopletheywereexpecting，andtheconversationfelluponLizaMerkalova。
　　`She’sverysweet，andIalwayslikedher，’saidAnna。
　　`Yououghttolikeher。Sheravesaboutyou。Yesterdayshecameuptomeaftertheracesandwasindespairatnotfindingyou。Shesaysyou’rearealheroineofromance，andthatifshewereamanshewoulddoallsortsofmadthingsforyoursake。Stremovsaysshedoesthatasitis。’
　　`Butdotellme，please-Inevercouldmakeitout，’saidAnna，afterbeingsilentforsometime，speakinginatonethatshowedshewasnotaskinganidlequestion，butthatwhatshewasaskingwasofgreaterimportancetoherthanitshouldhavebeen，`dotellme，please:whatareherrelationswithPrinceKaluzhsky-Mishka，ashe’scalled？I’vemetthemsolittle。Whatdoesitmean？’
　　Betsysmiledwithhereyes，andlookedintentlyatAnna。
　　`It’sanewmode，’shesaid。`They’vealladoptedthatmode。They’veflungtheircapsoverthewindmills。Buttherearewaysandwaysofflingingthem。’
　　`Yes，butpreciselywhatareherrelationswithKaluzhsky？’
　　Betsybrokeintounexpectedlymirthfulandirrepressiblelaughter，athingwhichrarelyhappenedwithher。
　　`You’reencroachingonPrincessMiaghkaia’sspecialdomainnow。
　　That’sthequestionofanenfantterrible，’andBetsyobviouslytriedtorestrainherself，butcouldnot，andwentoffintopealsofthatinfectiouslaughterpeculiartopeoplewhodonotlaughoften。`You’dbetteraskthem，’shebroughtout，betweentearsoflaughter。
　　`No；youlaugh，’saidAnna，laughingtoo，inspiteofherself，`butInevercouldunderstandit。Ican’tunderstandthehusband’sroleinit。’
　　`Thehusband？LizaMerkalova’shusbandcarrieshershawl，andisalwaysreadytobeofuse。Butnoonecarestoinquireaboutwhatisreallygoingon。Youknow，indecentsocietyonedoesn’ttalkorthinkevenofcertaindetailsofthetoilet。That’showitisinthiscase。’
　　`WillyoubeatMadameRolandaky’sfete？’askedAnna，tochangetheconversation。
　　`Idon’tthinkso，’answeredBetsy，and，withoutlookingatherfriend，shebeganfillingthelittletransparentcupswithfragranttea。
　　PuttingacupbeforeAnna，shetookoutathincigarette，and，fittingitintoasilverholder，shelightedit。`It’slikethis，yousee:I’minafortunateposition，’shebegan，quiteseriousnow，asshetookuphercup。`Iunderstandyou，andIunderstandLiza。Lizanowisoneofthosenaivenaturesthat，likechildren，don’tknowwhat’sgoodandwhat’sbad。
　　Anyway，shedidn’tcomprehenditwhenshewasveryyoung。Andnowshe’sawarethatthelackofcomprehensionsuitsher。Now，perhaps，shedoesn’tknowonpurpose，’saidBetsy，withasubtlesmile。`But，anyway，itsuitsher。Theverysamething，don’tyousee，maybelookedattragically，andturnedintomisery，oritmaybelookedatsimply，andevenhumorously。
　　Possiblyyouareinclinedtolookatthingstootragically。’
　　`HowIshouldliketoknowotherpeoplejustasIknowmyself！’
　　saidAnna，seriouslyanddreamily。`AmIworsethanotherpeople，orbetter？
　　IthinkI’mworse。’
　　`Enfantterrible，enfantterrible！’repeatedBetsy。`Butheretheyare。’
　　[NextChapter][TableofContents]TOLSTOY:AnnaKareninaPart3，Chapter18[PreviousChapter][TableofContents]Chapter18Theyheardthesoundofstepsandaman’svoice，thenawoman’svoiceandlaughter，andimmediatelythereaftertherewalkedintheexpectedguests:
　　SapphoStoltz，andayoungmanbeamingwithexcessofhealth，theso-calledVaska。Itwasevidentthatamplesuppliesofbeefsteak，truffles，andBurgundywereprofitableforhishealth。Vaskabowedtothetwoladies，andglancedatthem，butonlyforonesecond。HewalkedafterSapphointothedrawingroom，andfollowedheraboutasthoughhewerechainedtoher，keepinghissparklingeyesfixedonherasthoughhewantedtoeather。SapphoStoltzwasablondebeautywithblackeyes。Shewalkedwithsmartlittlestepsinhigh-heeledshoes，andshookhandswiththeladiesvigorously，likeaman。
　　Annahadnevermetthisnewstaroffashion，andwasstruckbyherbeauty，theexaggeratedextremetowhichherdresswascarried，andtheboldnessofhermanners。Onherheadtherewassuchanechafaudageofsoft，goldenhair-herownandfalsemixed-thatherheadwasequalinsizetotheelegantlyroundedbust，ofwhichsomuchwasexposedinfront。Theimpulsiveabruptnessofhermovementswassuchthatateverystepthelinesofherkneesandtheupperpartofherlegsweredistinctlymarkedunderherdress，andthequestioninvoluntarilyroseinone’smindwhereintheundulating，piled-upmountainofmaterialatthebacktherealbodyofthewoman，sosmallandslender，sonakedinfront，andsohiddenbehindandbelow，reallycametoanend。
　　BetsymadehastetointroducehertoAnna。
　　`Onlyfancy，weallbutranovertwosoldiers，’shebegantellingthematonce，usinghereyes，smilingandtwitchingawayhertrain，whichsheatfirstthrewtoomuchtooneside。`IdroveherewithVaska……Ah，tobesure，youdon’tknoweachother。’And，mentioninghissurname，sheintroducedtheyoungman，and，reddening，brokeintoaringinglaughathermistake-thatis，atherhavingcalledhimVaskabeforeastranger。
　　VaskabowedoncemoretoAnna，buthesaidnothingtoher。HeaddressedSappho:`You’velostyourbet。Wegotherefirst。Payup，’saidhe，smiling。
　　Sappholaughedstillmorefestively。
　　`Notjustnow，’saidshe。
　　`It’sallone，I’llhaveitlater。’
　　`Verywell，verywell。Oh，yes，’sheturnedsuddenlytoPrincessBetsy:`Iamaniceperson……Ipositivelyforgotit……I’vebroughtyouavisitor。Andherehecomes。’